OPENING CREDITS: Quotes of the Week
Jacquese, the doctor?
While “Survivor,” “The Apprentice,” and Jessica Simpson grab all the reality show headlines, MTV’s newest season of “The Real World” is quietly chugging along producing all sorts of fun situations never seen before including multiple characters being arrested and sent to jail for a night. That also includes a male cast member, in this case, Randy, meeting a nice girl who happens to have a fake tooth. However, before that, there was some debate about whether or not Randy was “hooking up with” (making out) with the girl with the fake tooth. This is when fellow cast member, Jacquese offered his infinite wisdom saying Randy was definitely kissing the girl. Jacquese knew this because according to him:
I am a bootyologist.
Do you need a Ph.D for that?
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A Funny Reality Commentator
Speaking of “The Real World” Entertainment Weekly‘s Josh Wolk writes some hilarious summaries of the MTV show on the magazine’s website, EW.com. In regards to Brad, who’s quickly established himself as the idiot of the house, Wolk had this to say when Brad announced that his on-again, off-again main squeeze was going to be visiting him for the weekend in San Diego, where the show is filmed.
Even though he and his girlfriend Andrea ostensibly split up, on the March 9 episode of ”The Real World” she came to visit him for a weekend. Brad had mixed emotions about her visit, saying, ”It could totally start messing with my head again.” (To put this in perspective, here are some other things that mess with Brad’s head: putting things in alphabetical order; trying to remember not to swallow his gum; and the concept of ”lefty-loosey, righty-tighty.”)
That made me laugh out loud
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Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Conan O’Brien, host of NBC’s “Late Night with Conan O’Brien,” had this witty joke to contribute to his monologue for the show aired on the night of St. Patrick’s Day.
Today is St. Patrick’s Day. That means if you’re Irish and you’re watching this show, it means you have a television in your bathroom
I think he’s implying that all of us Irishmen vomit continuously on St. Patrick’s Day. I have no idea what he’s talking about
TV HEADLINES: “CSI,” “The Real World,” The Fox network, The “Wardrobe Malfunction,” and “The Donald.”
“CSI: New York” has its star and some other interesting twists
As I discussed in last week’s Groove Tube Update, CBS and Oscar nominee and Emmy winner, Gary Sinise were in on-again, off-again negotiations for the actor to star on the network’s second “CSI” spin-off invading NBC’s “Law & Order” territory: New York City. Well, according to multiple sources, the deal is done. Sinise will be paid in the neighborhood of $150,000 per episode to bring forensics investigator, Rick Carlucci to the small screen. Sinise will first play the character in May when Horatio Caine (David Caruso) heads to New York City meet Carlucci to solve a crime that has roots there.
According to Zap2it which quoted a CBS statement, Carlucci will be a “dedicated and driven crime scene investigator.” Other sources, including Variety and Entertainment Weekly have indicated that Carlucci is driven the way he is in part because he lost his wife during the September 11th attacks on New York City and Washington D.C. Whether that means he’s motivated to work as much as possible to try and forget about her death or to avenge it (definitely two distinct separate type of personality traits) is a separate matter that will probably be fleshed out as the series progresses.
In a related story, “CSI” creator, Anthony Zuiker gave a pretty revealing interview to Toronto’s The Globe and Mail about the new show and his rapidly developing franchise as well.
First, Zuiker is working with disabled “CSI” member, Robert David Hall, who lost both his legs during a trucking accident in the 1970s, to hire a “forensics guru” who will be a male in a wheelchair and one of the show’s main characters. The creator realizes the value of this type of casting stating in the newspaper interview:
David and I have put our heads together to have a [forensic] guru be an actor in a wheelchair. This person will have an important role in “CSI: New York.” This show is going to really break new ground in television.
David Hall’s been trying to [gain acceptance for the disabled in film and TV] for 30 years. All that work has paid off because I’m going to be the one to push it through with his assistance. This character is as important to me as casting the lead actor, on an emotional level. He’ll be a genius in a wheelchair.
That certainly is an interesting development and a marked step forward for the physically disabled. However, I am interested to know whether or not it matters. I say that because while critics, historians, and disabled advocates will mark this as a significant contribution to the history of American television, I don’t think it will matter all that much unless writers focus a great deal of time focusing on the character’s disability. I don’t believe viewers will be very affected by the physical limitations of the character. People tune in because they like the characters and they like the stories being told not because those same characters are in a wheelchair. If the show is worth tuning into, the viewers will come regardless. The advances Zuiker is making in representing the disabled on television are remarkable and should be noted and commended. However, the bottom line is that the show should be compelling and entertaining.
Zuiker also made an interesting point regarding character development on the newest “CSI” and the difference between its predecessors other crime dramas. He stated:
“CSI: New York” will be a much more character-driven type of show. It’ll be a forensic, procedural drama. We’ll open the characters up more. There will be more music and we’ll be able to get to the bottom of these people much quicker.
That’s certainly a refreshing departure to hear about since these types of shows are always so much more about solving the crime than learning anything about the characters. It’s occasionally done on “Law & Order” to some degree, it’s engaging, but at the same time it’s such a radical departure, it’s slightly hard to accept and get into as well, especially since it probably won’t be done again for a long time. So, that is what makes this potential development on “CSI: New York” so intriguing. We’ll be able to answer the questions “Does it work?” and also to some degree, “Does it matter?”
This also leads to another similar point original “CSI” cast member and executive producer, William Petersen made about the show noted in The Globe & Mail article. Several critics (including myself if you’re comfortable labeling me as such) have agreed with some of statements Petersen has made public about his concern of turning the show into such a “fast food franchise” and essentially “thinning out of the brand.” Zuiker is not terribly concerned about it telling the newspaper: “Three (“CSI”s) might be it. But my philosophy is, if Dick Wolf can do four “Law & Orders”, why can’t Anthony Zuiker?”
If Zuiker can continue to distinctly separate the shows and offer unique storytelling and production elements, I don’t see why he can’t. It’s a pretty fine line he needs to straddle though and I’m still unsure it’s good for television to saturate the schedule with shows of the same name and concept.
We’ll see in the fall (and beyond) if it matters though
Fox reshuffles its primetime lineup
According to several stories posted on TVBarn.com and Zap2it, Fox will be reshuffling their primetime lineup to accommodate new shows and current poor performing shows.
The stories stated that “The Bernie Mac Show” will be moved from its cushy 8:30 Sunday timeslot following “The Simpsons” and instead will anchor Monday nights airing at 8:00 right before the new Molly Shannon/Jason Schwartzman psychological comedy, “Cracked Up” which will be broadcast at 8:30.
Also, to create an entirely different Monday night, Fox plans to debut the new “‘Extreme Makeover’ meets Miss America” (according to Zap2it) reality show after “American Idol” on April 7th and permanently move it to Mondays the following week on April 12th. It appears the network is expecting big things from the show despite the slightly risky premise.
In addition, to make room for “The Swan” Fox has moved the dreadfully low rated “potentially never-ending unscripted show,” “Forever Eden” to the black hole that has become Thursdays at 9:00 competing against CBS’ “CSI” and NBC’s “The Apprentice.” The show does not appear to be facing imminent cancellation with the move, but the network does expect very little from the current ratings disaster.
Finally, since “Bernie Mac” will be moved to attempt to anchor Monday nights, its 8:30 Sunday timeslot will be replaced by a second episode of “The Simpsons.”
In looking at the moves, it appears they all make good sense. What I find particularly interesting is that the network is giving ample opportunity for “Forever Eden” and “Cracked Up” to find an audience and perhaps be long running series on the network. That isn’t astonishing considering the initial success surrounding “Cracked Up” (it attracted approximately 10 million people in its first episodes aired as a lead-out for “American Idol”). However, it is more so in regards to “Forever Eden” since it has fallen flat on its face to this point securing a distant fourth place finish in its 9:00 Monday flat barely outdrawing shows on the WB and UPN. I suppose the network doesn’t want to give up on a show “that could go on forever” in just four to six weeks. Since the idea of new shows every week might attract a larger audience during the summer repeat season, Fox may be a little more patient with this show’s development. However, they better get Toni from “Love Cruise” and “Paradise Island” or some other strong, familiar personality to hit that show quick. Even the people that THINK they have strong personalities are boring as hell.
The Janet statute: a little less than two months I guess
Apparently network executives are ready to FORGIVE Janet Jackson for the most famous “wardrobe malfunction” in the history of both the fashion and television industries. I suppose we all should take note in case we get famous and show our breast on national television in front of millions of people. If you do that, you should be expecting to be shunned by the television people for a period no less than six weeks, but probably not more than two months.
The Super Bowl (i.e. the Halftime Show that apparently shook the moral foundation of American society) took place on February 8th. Since then, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake have been avoiding the cameras and any significant publicity. Well, that is until March 29th when she appears on David Letterman’s “The Late Show,” ironically on the same network that broadcast the Super Bowl and the infamous breast, CBS, according to Zap2it. The article also stated that Jackson’s appearance on Letterman will be the first of multiple televised appearances promoting her new album and probably talking about her breasts. In addition to a previously announced appearance on NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” on April 10th, the pop music superstar will also perform on March 31st on ABC’s “Good Morning America” and make an April 2nd appearance on the syndicated show “On Air with Ryan Seacrest.”
My prediction is that once she makes her appearances on all of these various television programs and talks about what happened at the Super Bowl, the public will largely forget about the incident, but the politicians lobbying for higher decency standards will continue to talk about it until their lips and tongues are numb.
Don’t FUCK with the UNION!
Several sources including the AP and Zap2it have produced stories of MTV’s and Bunim/Murray Productions’ decision to pull the upcoming season of “The Real World” from the Philadelphia, the (supposed) “City of Brotherly Love,” due to a dispute with some local organizations.
Specifically, the producers were having problems with local construction unions in regards to fixing up the Seamen’s Church Institute in Philadelphia’s Old City. MTV wanted to hire non-union workers, where as the city of Philadelphia was adamantly against that. When the cable network went ahead and hired the non-union construction workers to avoid potentially long negotiations, the union actually picketed the location and made it as difficult as possible for MTV to get done what it needed. The fact that the problems have occurred is a bit surprising considering that similar organizations in other union-heavy cities like New York, Boston, and Chicago have been tolerant of the work getting done. Apparently, Philadelphia is a bit different. So, instead of dealing with the hassles associated with staying there, the producers pulled out and are scouting a new location.
What will that location be?
Well, an article in the Austin (Texas) Business Journal indicated that the director of the Austin Film Office, Gary Bond, was approached by one of the show’s supervising producers and asked about the union situation in that area in case they choose that city to film in.
According to that publication, a publicist working for Bunim/Murray Productions largely (but not entirely) denied the report. Also, I would argue that the contact made by the producer was largely exploratory in nature and doesn’t necessarily mean that “The Real World” will be setting roots and they are still investigating multiple locations.
Peter Van Allen, the journalist from the Austin Business Journal who wrote the story about the initial contact, noted that Austin has received a great deal of attention as an up-and-coming city. In addition to hosting the South By Southwest music, film and interactive festival, it is also is home to champion cyclist Lance Armstrong, movie directors Richard Linklater and Robert Rodriguez, and “King of the Hill” and “Beavis & Butthead” creator Mike Judge.
We’ll see if it’s enough to reel the reality show in
Here’s a fun question, what other cities would be good (or interesting) locations to set long running reality series? After all, since it’s already been filmed in 12 different cities you might think they would be running out of locales. Here are some of my choices and the odds they would film there:
1. Dallas/Austin 2:1 – I put this area up top primarily because Bunim/Murray has already established contact with people in the area. Also, I’d love to see the show adapt some “southern flavor.” Maybe the cast could run a BBQ joint?
2. Toronto 3:1 – It’s a beautiful city, especially during the summer, there is a lot to do, and it’s a bustling area for various industries. Besides, I bet MTV will love the Canadian exchange rate there.
3. Atlanta 5:1 – The weather is nice all-year-round, there is a lot of industry there, and their Viacom sister network CNN is based down there. I am sure the cast members could do SOMETHING at the network. Maybe get Lou Dobbs a cup of coffee (black)?
4. Baltimore/Washington D.C. 6:1 Some might perceive the Baltimore docks and our nation’s capital to be boring, but it’s really a beautiful area with a lot going on and would be a great situation for MTV and “The Real World.” Plus, there is a smokin’ bar scene there. And maybe they can intern on Capitol Hill?
5. Denver 8:1 – This would be a good city at any time of the year. It’s nice in Colorado in the spring and summer and the crew could work at a ski resort during the winter. Then they could whine about how cold it is there.
6. Vancouver 10:1 – See my description for Toronto. Except, this is lower on the list because MTV produced that ridiculous spoof movie based on “The Real World: Vancouver.”
7. Phoenix 20:1 – I think it would be funny to see the cast member bitching about the heat the whole five months they are there.
8. Nashville 25:1 – Maybe MTV could bring a little country flavor to its most famous reality show? Well ..maybe not
9. Detroit 50:1 – Are there any redeeming qualities about Detroit? Anyone want to answer that? Will the cast members work for the Ford Motor Company or for one of the professional sports teams?
10. Jamaica 100:1 – “The Real World” already gets enough flack for not resembling “real” life since the cast members live in a lavish house and have decent, fun jobs handed to them. Shipping them to an exotic location won’t exactly help that designation too much
*** Quick Hits ***
***JON STEWART!! 4 MORE YEARS!!! – In a move that isn’t terribly surprising, Jon Stewart, Host, Writer, and Executive Producer, of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” has signed a brand new four-year contract that will keep the comedian/satirical newscaster on the air until the end of 2008.
Stewart, in a statement released by the network and in an AP story, quipped that signing may not have been a good idea after all. He said in jest:
A lot of people like to get out when their show’s still going well. This gives me the opportunity to beat this thing into the ground.
I think we can all nervously chuckle at that statement hoping that it doesn’t resemble the truth. The AP story also noted that the original weeknight 11:00 PM EST airing garners an average of one million viewers, a number that has steadily increased over time.
This is pretty cool that a show based on “Saturday Night Live’s” Weekend Update skit has developed into a smart and relevant show while also producing hilarious moments and quotes that are often repeated by fans and other media sources looking to fill their quote pages.
Some may wonder why Stewart doesn’t try to take his talents back to a regular late night gig like he had in the early 1990s. I think his time may come again and he could move into one of the coveted network slots. However, if it doesn’t or if he decides to stay on basic cable, he will still be able to look back on his experiences and be pretty damn proud.
*** “The Apprentice” and Donald Trump News – Just in case you haven’t figured it out yet, Donald Trump (some dopes call him “The Donald”) is a VERY shrewd business man who is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Yet another example of that has taken shape as Mr. Trump has started the process of securing a trademark on the term “You’re fired!” according to the New York Post. It certainly isn’t a revolutionary term as it’s been said for decades (especially on television shows), but no one has ever tried to place a trademark and own it for him/herself. That is until now since Mr. Trump says it at the end of each episode of the new reality hit “The Apprentice.” Once the process is complete, then people who want to use the term publicly will have to pay royalties on it. I think that once that process is complete, the term, “We’re going to have to let you go ” will be the popular way to relieve someone of his/her professional duties.
In other news, local newspapers across the country have been running stories about the various open casting calls for “The Apprentice 2.” Those casting calls have taken place in cities such as New York City, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles and even smaller cities such as Omaha, NE. They have all have been covered by local media and all featured thousands of people looking to be one of the 16 contestants on the next edition of the NBC reality show. The network and producer Mark Burnett have not set the date when the new season will begin, but I would be surprised if it wasn’t a new addition to the Fall 2004-05 schedule.
***More celebrities playing bad poker COMING UP! – Well, if you liked Bravo’s first “Celebrity Poker Showdown,” get ready for twice as much as the cable network plans a 12 episode season featuring two separate tournaments with 25 celebrities each. Why do I get the feeling that we’ll be seeing former reality show cast members, CNN newscasters, Erik Estrada, and Nipsey Russell involved in this production?
Anyway, the rules from the first tournament won’t change. There will be five different celebrities taking part in five different games with the winner advancing to the final winner’s game where, at that point, the victorious celebrity will win $100,000 for the charity of their choosing.
Besides the different celebrities and the two concurrent tournaments, the show will also feature a new host, Dave Foley of “Kids in the Hall” and “NewsRadio” fame. He will replace actor Kevin Pollak. According to Zap2it, Foley had this to say:
I am excited to be working with Bravo and “Celebrity Poker.” I wanted to be on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” but apparently I did not meet the requirements for either category.
Anyway the doubling of the episode order isn’t a shock considering that Bravo attracted a very respectable (for basic cable) 1.7 million viewers for the final episode where the adorable Nicole Sullivan (“MadTV” and “The King of Queens”) won $100,000 for an alley cat charity. I guess cancer, AIDS, and diabetes have all been cured already.
Amazingly, the news story described the rules of “Celebrity Poker Showdown,” discussed Dave Foley’s career but didn’t say when the new season was going to start. I guess we’ll all be surprised at the same time
***Marge Simpson Sex Goddess? Finally, I’m not sure if this is a sign that all men who would like this are perverts or that “The Simpsons” can enter any lexicon of popular culture it wants. Either way, it gives me the willies
CLOSING CREDITS: Mr. Coogan revisits Fox’s “Arrested Development.”
I wrote a long column for the 411movies section last fall reviewing several television shows that were new to the Fox fall schedule. “A Minute with Stan Hooper” failed miserably and has already been canceled and “Tru Calling” has been moderately successful despite tough Thursday night competition and is also returning after a fairly lengthy hiatus with new episodes.
However, the jury is still out on “Arrested Development,” a low rated, but critically acclaimed comedy currently holding down the 9:30 Sunday timeslot directly following “Malcolm in the Middle.” Several publications (including The Wall Street Journal and the New York Post) brought the show some extra attention this week since Fox was trying to help the show out by broadcasting a bonus new episode after the Wednesday results edition of “American Idol.” That was Fox’s way of trying to get the rest of America to take notice of what the critics have already noticed and grown to love.
So, I thought that I would jump on the bandwagon and re-run the review I wrote back in the Fall and comment that and the show’s current standing as well.
It’s kind of interesting to review a show and then go back to it to think about how the show has developed
The last Fox show I wanted to address for this column is the new Jason Bateman led sit-com, “Arrested Development.” Who knew that there would be a time where we would utter those words again? After Teen Wolf Too, I thought poor Jason would be strictly relegated to dinner theatre projects in the Central and Mountain time zones. For his sake, it’s a good thing I was wrong. Jason is back and it looks like he’s made a pretty good choice to return to prime time television with this new project.
This particular new show is about the dysfunctional Bluth family and the major corruption that exists at the Bluth Development Company, a multi-million corporation devoted to real estate. Michael Bluth (Bateman) has faithfully worked for his dad’s company for ten years only to get passed over when dad (played by Jeffrey Tambor) named his wife the CEO when he decided to get out of the position. This was certainly a bit of a travesty to Michael who subjected himself and his young teenage son (wasn’t Bateman a teenage hunk not too long ago?) George Michael (Michael Cera) to live in the attic of one of the model houses so standard human living would not ruin it. Once this happened, Michael was fed up and was close to moving to Arizona to take a job with another developer. Considering the characters in his family, I probably would have too.
His mother, Lucille (Jessica Walter) is a spoiled socialite stealing money from the company to feed her spoiled, rich girl needs. His twin sister, Lindsay (played by “Ally McBeal’s” Portia de Rossi) steals money from the company to host wine and cheese parties for unusual charities with her dweeb of a husband, Tobias (played by the underrated David Cross) and her daughter “Maeby” who has a fascination with making out with her cousin George Michael in order to get attention. George Bluth II (Will Arnett) is a part-time magician who has never had a real job and youngest brother Buster (Tony Hale) steals money from the company so he can be a full-time graduate student pursuing unnecessary and useless degrees. This coupled with his frequent intense panic attacks and penchant for giving uncomfortable, intimate back massages to his family make him the cherry on top of this sundae of freaks and thieves.
The Securities and Exchange Commission eventually catches on to the accounting practices of the Bluth Development Company and dad gets arrested and is sent to jail to await trial. Of course, the family is more concerned when they are alerted that their expense account is frozen than when they find out dad is stuck in jail. That pretty much sums up pettiness of the majority of the family. Bateman’s character, Michael, ends up staying with dad’s company and moves into one of the model homes with his twin sister, her husband and daughter setting up future family “fun” we think.
Two final points about the show: First, the pilot utilized an unusual tactic to introduce the cast of characters and to set the situation for the viewers: a narrator. I’ve read in several places several times from several authors that if a film/television director needs a narrator to tell a story, then there is a major problem with what’s being shown on screen. Supposedly, it’s unnecessary and excessive. Most of the time, I would agree with that statement. However, in this case, the narrator helped the audience get to know the characters and the situation quickly. This allowed the characters themselves make jokes based on their traits as described by the narrator. It proved to be significantly helpful in this case. I will say this though. If the production and creative staff feel the need to utilize the narrator on a regular basis, I think it will definitely lose its effectiveness and become more of an unnecessary nuisance than an admirable guide to the story.
Finally, with the first show ending the way it did, the question that needs to be addressed is “What direction is this going in?” I assume it will revolve around the misadventures of the other dopey family members while Bateman’s character (and to a lesser degree, his son), will be the “voice(s) of reason,” but it isn’t overly clear. The writing is fairly effective, but I can’t decide if I think the characters are just strange and wacky in their own unique ways or if they just plain suck. Several critics I have read believe this show has promise and should be given a chance to find its niche. I agree with the latter but am unsure about the former. This is another show I am willing to have another helping of before dumping it in the garbage.
Where the show stands now
When I first wrote this review, I was still amazed by the fact that Jason Bateman was reappearing on network television again. I figured he would be more likely to appear on an “Entertainment Tonight” “Where are they now?” type segment than anchoring a prime-time comedy. Well, that fascination has largely worn off in my eyes and if it existed in the minds of TV critics, it’s gone as well.
Instead of wondering about Bateman, I think it’s best to look at the show itself and accept it as its own entity instead of a vehicle for one of the stars. That’s not what it’s about at all. I wondered where the show could go from the pilot and the first couple of episodes. One might think that the characters on the show would finally start to realize of their financial difficulties and the comedy would largely dissipate.
Thankfully, that’s not the case
Michael (Bateman) and his son George Michael (Cera) remain the lone voices of reason in the Bluth family and the rest of the spoiled family continue to be clueless people still attempting to live a lavish lifestyle that they had no right to live to begin with. Unlike other sit-coms the comedy is both funny and understated. Unlike other shows (especially those with obnoxious laugh tracks), the joke is firmly planted and the nice audience is supposed to laugh whether it’s funny or not. In this show, the comedy isn’t dreadfully obvious and it isn’t handed to the viewer on a silver platter. Some critics consider the comedy to be more “sophisticated” and “grown-up.” That may be true to some degree, but a designation of that nature also implies it’s a more “high-brow” and almost “snooty” type of comedy that may turn people off before watching it. I believe the comedy can appeal to a mass audience if they choose to give it a chance, which has been a big problem to this point usually securing the smallest audience of the Sunday night Fox shows airing after 8:00.
As for the narrator, it’s tastefully worked into the script usually used when the direction moves onto a different scene involving different characters. Besides, it’s kind of cool that an Academy Award winning director lends his voice to the television show from his production company. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, maybe you should tune in and see who I’m referring to
So, change the channel and I hope you
Enjoy the Show!
— Coogan
Column Schedule Note: Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to think some things through and try to figure out a way I can increase my input of TV coverage to 411BLACK without killing myself. If you have any ideas about how I might be able to pull that off, feel free to drop me a line at coachcoogan@hotmail.com. I do appreciate reader feedback.
In the mean time, next week, I’ll be posting an abbreviated Groove Tube Update during the week with some show reviews, taking a week off from my normal column format and returning the first weekend in April.
Stay tuned for further updates Groove Tube and beyond!
