Sunday Bloody Sunday: News & Assorted Gibberish

My name is Trevor and I am hesitant to say that I happen to like the new Usher CD. How’s that for a dramatic introduction to this week’s column?

And you know what else? I happen to REALLY like ‘Yeah’. Yes, the song with ‘that little shithead’ Lil Jon. Yes, I like a CRUNK song. We’ve had it playing in the store ever since it came out Tuesday and I think it’s a really good CD. Now, I’m not the kind of guy to get into R&B or Club music or whatever genre you want to put Usher into, so announcing that I happen to like the new Usher is tres odd. I think the last ALBUM of that sort of music that I liked before that was Craig David’s FIRST disc, which came out like…4 years ago?

To try and appease the musical gods and my fellows here on 411, I’m going to listen to nothing but Yo La Tengo and the new Lambchop CDs Aw, C’mon and No, You C’mon. Lambchop: Nashville’s finest export to the rest of the world that ISN’T a moonshine swilling, honky tonk country band.

There. THAT should do it, methinks. Yeah! YEAH! YEAH!

Aww, dammit. Okay, let’s just move on before this gets ugly…

Da News

– Top story was something that I forgot to mention last week, but I think it bears mentioning here really quickly. Some guy did an analysis of the RIAA’s sales figures and pretty much determined what all of us have suspected all along: they’re a crock and comparing figures with one another ends up with some rather hypocritical results. Check out the link for a more detailed analysis.

– Green Day are working with longtime producer Rob Cavallo on their latest disc. The follow-up to 2000’s Warning is set to be released sometime either late this summer or in the fall. No word yet if the group will continue to further butcher Joe Strummer’s name and legacy or if the deal they made with Pepsi was a one time thing.

American Life by Madonna, probably one of THE worst albums that came out last year. That album was put out on Maverick Records, which was a joint venture started between Madonna and Warner Music Group. Now, Madonna is suing WMG for failing to pay for ‘guaranteed’ services like radio promotion, marketing and sales meant to support artists on the label. Now, I’m sure that Madonna’s disc bombing and this lawsuit being filed are two entirely unrelated things that have absolutely nothing to do with one another. Wink, wink, nudge nudge.

– In what’s becoming redundant news, 532 new users were slapped with lawsuits by the recording industry this past Wednesday. It appears that most of these lawsuits were slapped onto college and university students, so if you happen to fall into that category, watch out!

– Oh, those crazy Polish. Apparently Limp Bizkit, hard at work on their European tour, had to cancel a show in Katowice, Poland after a bomb threat was called in at the Spodek Sports Hall. Police found nothing and attribute their lack of finding a bomb to Fred Durst not taking the stage and performing. HOO HA! I’m just full of the JOKES today.

– It’s been a BUSY, BUSY week for the untalented Courtney Love. Love, former lead singer of Hole and current whorer of just about everyone’s ‘intellectual properties’ (including, but not limited to, Kurt Cobain and Billy Corgan), apparently is facing more charges for injuring innocent bystanders who are subjected to her performances. The murderess and sociopathic psychopath apparently injured a photographer, was put on suicide watch for fear that she might kill herself now that we’re inching ever closer to the 10th anniversary of Cobain’s death and is currently the ‘prize’ for a contest where a happy couple will have a marriage ceremony performed by Ms. Love. No word yet if Jesus or the deity of your choice will help Love perform the ceremony or not, but going from her past history and what we, the public, know about her, chances are pretty high that He will.

It should also be noted that there is one HUGE inside ‘joke’ buried in the middle of that, and that I don’t necessarily think that Love is a murderer/sociopathic/etc.

Also, since we’re on the topic of Nirvana and Courtney Love and all that, make sure to keep your eyes peeled here at 411 to see what we’ve got in store for the 10th anniversary of Cobain’s death. We’ve got articles! We’ve got discussion! We’ve got cake and donkeys in party hats! What that last bit has to do with anything else, I don’t know, but hey, I like exclamation marks so here’s another one before we move onto our next piece!

– On a more serious note, and sticking around in Seattle, justice has finally been served for Mia Zapata. Over a decade has passed when Zapata, lead singer of the Gits, was found dead on a Seattle street. Jesus C. Mezquia was found guilty of first degree murder this past Thursday and looks to be spending 22-30 years in prison. The case was finally closed when Mezquia’s DNA was submitted into the National DNA Index when he was arrested in Florida early last year. Investigators up in Seattle were able to find some DNA evidence, but were unable to find a match until Mezquia’s arrest. Some of you may have remembered seeing this particular case on America’s Most Wanted, which featured it a number of times.

– To complete the grunge hat trick in this column, and to make a hockey reference just for the sake of making one, one of Kurdt’s guitars will be going on the auction block April 17th. The Mostrite Gospel Mark IV electric guitar will be handled by Dallas based group Heritage Galleries and Auctioneers and marks the first time that Cobain’s instruments have been sold since his death nearly 10 years ago.

– So the Bitch Queen of MTV is attempting to feud with the (Former) Bitch Queen Of Disney. Ms. Lavigne, PUNK ROCKER TO THE FIFTH DIMENSION, has been taking quite a few stabs at Hilary Duff. Since I know that 411 happens to appeal to the same demographic that Lavigne’s and Duff’s handlers are trying to market them to, I know you’ll all find this fascinating reading. Apparently, while doing a radio interview in Boston last week, Avril told the previously dissed Duff to ‘go screw yourself’.

Truly, we are on the verge of a monumentous PUNK ROCK feud between these two musical heavyweights. 50 Cent and Ja Rule are going to have absolutely NOTHING on The Bitch Queen of MTV and the (Former) Bitch Queen Of Disney. It’s Canada vs The USA, all over again! Battle Of The Blondes! Isn’t this amazing? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

– And in a news item that I cannot resist reporting on, Modest Mouse have announced the release of an internet-only live disc, entitled Baron Von Bullshit Rides Again, which totally wins my vote for best album title of the year, hands down. The band’s website is currently taking preorders for Baron Von Bullshit. For those interested, the tracklisting for the disc is:
01 3rd Planet
02 Never Ending Math Equation
03 Wild Packs of Family Dogs
04 Broke
05 Paper Thin Walls
06 I Came As a Rat
07 Doin’ the Cockroach
08 Bankrupt on Selling
09 Interstate 8
10 The Good Times Are Killing Me

As well, the group has a new studio album due out pretty quick, entitled, Good News For Those Who Love Bad News. Not sure about the quality of the live album itself, as when I checked out Modest Mouse live they, um, well, sucked a dick, to put it nicely. Maybe they just had a bad show, as it was like the 3rd date into their tour or something silly like that, but, despite the godliness of this album title, it’s not earning my endorsement quite yet…

– Some of the acts slated for this year’s Edgefest have been announced. For those of you who don’t live in Canada, Edgefest was originally a Canada Day celebration that was hosted by a Toronto-area radio station that morphed into a summer rock festival for a couple of years before reverting back to a Canada Day celebration down in Toronto. Good Charlotte, Finger Eleven, Billy Talent, Jet, Jersey, Something Corporate, The Salads, and Alexisonfire have been signed to the bill thus far, which is scheduled to take place at the Molson Amphitheatre, which is a divergence from the usual stomping grounds of Molson Park, located in Barrie. And for those of you curious, no, every landmark in Canada isn’t named after a beer company, thankyouverymuch.

– Elvis Costello, perhaps you’ve heard of him, is hard at work on a book that has been described as being ‘a series of intimate narrative chapters taking their cue from the styles, themes and characters found in a number of Costello’s lyrics.’ Following that, Costello will begin on a ‘work of comic philosophy’ titled How To Play The Guitar, Sing Loudly & Impress Girls…Or Boys. Both of these sound pretty cool, and both of those were BOOKS, which means our time in Da News is over. Let’s hit us some…

Anti-Pop: These Are Not The Droids You Are Looking For

– We’ve got Fear & Loathing & Mathan in Las Vegas. Read up on him if you want to learn how to balance your musical dietary needs and learn what sort of misadventures Mr. Erhardt has gotten into whilst scouring the shady underbelly of Las Vegas music shops. Next week: Mathan Went Down To Vegas With A Burlesque Girl Who Shall Remain Nameless For Reasons Of Libel (Director’s Cut). Or not.

– Jeff is on time and firing on all cylinders. Drama! Suspense! More 411 Fortress Of Solititude quotes than you can shake a stick at! Probaby the funniest 50 Cent comparison I’ve seen him make (ranking right up there with ‘a penguin’), as well as a kick ass Late Night Jukebox, care of Jim Vanderhorst. He’s also got me craving some curry now.

– Aaron has found a clever way of countering the insane amount of hockey references I’ve made in my columns for the past couple of weeks by whipping out the dreaded Pimpage By Way Of Pseudo NCAA Brackets Technique, a technique that has not seen the light of day in over 1,000 years. How do I, and my Minority Report comrade fare against our respective opponents? Click, click, click and see for yourself. While you’re there, check out even more behind the scenes discussion from the 411 Hall of Justice.

– Mr. YOU has more genres than Courtney Love’s got vices. Mr. YOU also wants to marry Courtney Love, I think. Could someone go read his column and see if I got that right?

– Tom is BACK, baaaaaay-bee, and he’s better than ever. Story time is over at the Wednesday Music Extravaganza and serve up a plate of ‘validation’ for Tom’s Ego.

Elliot is in no mood to bullshit around.

Sound Advice

Okay, so I’m going to be making a bit of a cop out this week, as I was having some massive computer problems earlier in the week and was unable to actually USE this filthy device for awhile. I know I’ve been getting to be rather naughty when it comes to providing some actual, you know, BANDS in this slot, but I’ve been busy with various and sundry, and I’ve been experiencing technical problems as well. Once that all gets settled, the Sound Advice should start flowing along rather nicely.

With that said, however, I do have something new for you all to check out this week. About a year and a half ago I began volunteering at my local campus radio station, CJSW, although that didn’t last very long, unfortunately. Going from school to working a full time job + a part time job greatly reduced the free time I had and I unfortunately couldn’t contribute any time to helping out the radio station, as the hours they had open for volunteering directly conflicted with the hours I worked. However, that doesn’t stop me, as a person, from feeling rather guilty about ‘abandoning my post’, sort of thing and so, in an attempt to try and erase a bit of the karmic debt I have accrued against CJSW, I’m going to give them a write up here in Sound Advice and hope that makes everything a’okay. I’m pretty sure they don’t NEED it, but it’s the THOUGHT that counts, right?

CJSW originated back in 1955 as a program called ‘Varsity Vista’ on CFAC radio up here in Calgary, before getting onto cable at 106.9 on the University of Calgary campus. The station became Calgary’s 13th radio station nearly 20 years ago on January 15th, 1985, and just recently has enjoyed an upgrade to their broadcasting power, now being able to reach all parts of the city of Calgary.

The station itself is pretty well run and organized, playing a mix of stuff that you really won’t be able to hear anywhere else. Shit that normally wouldn’t get played on normal radio because it isn’t profitable or enjoyable or what have you gets played here. I mean hey, it’s your atypical university radio station, full of musical elitists and snobs (and I mean that in a good way!) who have a passion for the music that they listen to. The lovely thing about CJSW is that we’re a hell of a lot BETTER than your average campus radio station. Most campus radio stations up here in Canada, at least from what I understand, subsist off of government funds or funding from the university. CJSW recieves very little support from the UofC or from the government, instead surviving off of the generosity of the listeners who support the station in their yearly Pledge Drive.

It’s a bloody good station and, if you go to their website, which is listed above, you can listen to the station online while you’re at work, surfing or whatever. There’s a number of good shows worth checking out at different points in the day. A programming guide should be available on the website, letting you know what kind of shows are playing when.

Again, this station is totally worth checking out, and it’s from my hometown. Imagine how cool YOU’D be if you were listening to the same radio that Trevor Presiloski, 411 writer, listens to. Well, you still wouldn’t be very cool but dammit, you’d be listening to some good music that’s got some Canadian flavor to it. Check it out, and play around with the station for a bit.

If you want to see a band or artist featured here (preferably Canadian) e-mail me at trevor411music@hotmail.com with your suggestions or catch me on AIM as flinch311.

The End Is The Beginning Is The End

Well, that’s this week down the hatch for ya. There might be problems regarding next week’s column, dear readers, as I’ll be heading up to Edmonton to participate in some of the Juno festivities that’re going on up there. There exists a slim possibility that I’ll be able to worm my way into some CELEBRITY STUDDED ‘galas’ while up there, so you might be getting a juicy column next week, who knows?

Stay tuned tomorrow for Melchor who kicks off the week in STYLE.

Peace!