The Lyrical Stunt 05.12.04


Well welcome to the new improved Lyrical Stunt
I’m your host, yo just call me SmiloBlunt
I’m gonna rap my way through the world of fake grapplin’
And inform your candy asses of what I think aughta happen

First and foremost, the big thing on the wrestling scene
El retardo hombre, se llama Eugene
He got a big reaction in his match on Raw
But come on, that doesn’t mean he’ll be able to draw

There’s this thing I like to call the Rikishi Rule
Which relates to the big fella’s time with Too Cool
They got big reactions but never brought any moneys
Just cuz the fans laugh don’t mean they’ll pay to see the funnies

Now believe me, I’d rather vote for Eugene than Bush
But I just don’t see the point in him getting a big push
Vinny Mac should keep Eugene down in the midcard
The main event ain’t the right place to keep a ‘tard

So let’s talk main event, and let’s talk Evolution
Due to interference, Trips didn’t get retribution
Sort of odd how Trips didn’t get his job back on Shelton
Cuz of Sean “John” Michaels, his personal Elton

Yeah let me just say I’m sick of HBK
If you want an ex-champ, bring out Bertha Faye
He’s through, folks, his value’s a bigger decay
Than Jean Baptiste Pierre Antoine de Monet

Bad news for all the net geeks that still live with their ma
Looks like next week Trips will be going over Benoit
Just skip Raw next week, conclusion’s already forgone
Finish as predictable as Li’l Jon (Whhuuuuututttt?)

Also next week, a big twenty-man battle royal
Y2J be rewarded for all of his toil?
Hopefully, cuz I don’t want a title match with Kane
Look for Trips and Jericho in the main event agayne

Also announced, cheata’ Lita does battle with Trish
Next week, as per the command of Commish Bisch
I just hope that match leads to Christian vs. Matt Hardy
Those kids can do more than Randy Velarde

To be honest, though, this Hardy/Kane angle crossed me
Are they both heels or what? This shit’s totally lost me
It could be worse though, Kane could be on the show with his brother
In a triple threat with Miss Jackie and Eddy G’s mother

Yeah, I guess I gotta dish on the show I ain’t saw
So let’s talk about Smackdown, enough about Raw
It gets hated on just for being the JBL Show
But what’s worse is how they pushin’ that old-ass ho

Putting a major title on skanky Miss Jackie?
More retarded than Eugene, that shit’s just plain ol’ wacky
Keep the real workers like Chavo, put Jackie on the shelve
That Mexinegro got skills, he sells more than D12

But the angle with Bradshaw and Eddy G’s mom
Is what has the IWC all calm like a bomb
Honestly, JBL/Eddy should be a free TV squash
Pay to see that match? Surely you josh

Well that’s all I got for you now, on Week One
I could go on rhyming more, but shit, I gotta run
Hope you enjoyed my clever rhyming style, yo
Til next week, peace out, holla at your boy Smilo