The Botterm Dollar In News — 00.04.04

SMACKDOWN

Man, what a great show!

Widro, WHY do I have to talk about this every week? I don’t WANT TO WATCH THE SHOW but I have to. It’s depressing, really.

The main event was Undertaker and Booker, which went WAY too long and only ended when Paul Heyman came out and told Taker that if he didn’t join his stable with the Duds, he’d never see Paul Bearer again.

Mordecai damned everyone to hell. Chavo Classic wrestled Funaki and won, and followed it up by cavorting with Toronto strippers. Backstage, it was revealed that Classic paid off the women. I love how Classic as the exact same tights as Eddie, except Classic is just a tad bit older. Kenzo Suzuki will debut next week, which I’m actually looking forward to.

Nothing else happened. Oh yeah, JBL made the Bash main event a Texas Bullrope match.

Exciting.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

So TNA Impact debuts this afternoon, and I’ve got a few newsbites surrounding the show.

First of all, it looks like TNA is going to center the show on AJ Styles and the X Division guys. It makes sense to try and provide a real alternative to WWE programming if you’re trying to make an impact (har), and having your national television show filled with guys who couldn’t even main event F shows in the major promotion probably wouldn’t look very good.

Look for a “Best Of Seven” between Christopher Daniels and Styles. Actually, it will end up being Best Of Five because the show probably won’t make it past week four. I guess I shouldn’t be too rough on the product, right? After all, they are going to have SIX RINGPOSTS instead of four! They are SO totally cutting edge and ahead of the times.

I probably shouldn’t make fun of the advertisers — they might put an ActiveX control in one of their banner ads and force us to lose more readers.

TIDBITS

<> The Dudley Boyz will be debuting brand new ring gear soon. What, you mean that seven years in various forms of the same ring gear is too long? [torch]

<> James Dudley passed away yesterday. If you’ve never heard of him, I don’t blame you. I remember reading a story in a book (or perhaps an issue of the Observer?) that talked about Dudley and how his long-term friendship with Vince Classic became one of the things that the McMahons cherished even after Vince Jr. took over. They sent him a stipend every few months and even inducted him into the WWE Hall Of Fame as a manager in 1994, which he did on occasion back in the 1950’s.

<> You can bid on the stuffed bunny that Eugene used to carry to the ring here. Also, the new Eugene t-shirt is awesome. I already ordered the other one, and now I’m gonna have to get this one as well.

<> Chris Benoit vs. Mordecai is expected to headline Vengeance. Actually, no, it’s Edge. This actually jives with Vince saying that he’s more interesting in building new guys than pushing old faces at this point. Well, that and both Triple H and Shawn Michaels will be out. Triple H will be filming a movie (supposedly) and Mrs. Michaels has another cake in the oven, so the duty falls to Edge. Don’t worry, though — HHH will be done filming the movie in time to come back for Summerslam and take back the World Title that he loaned to Benoit at Wrestlemania.

<> The entire Off The Record interview with Vince McMahon is now available from the TSN website. Check out the TSN website and choose which part you want to view.

<> Bruce Pritchard has been begging for the Cruiserweight division on Smackdown to be absolved. He wants the Cruiserweights to compete with everyone else, which apparently would bury the division. My first thought is “okay, but aren’t they ALREADY buried?”

<> Kurt Angle might be having neck surgery…but he might not. Angle’s been alluding to it in recent interviews, but no one in the WWE seems to know or have heard a thing about it.

<> RVD didn’t work Smackdown this week because of Billy Gunn and Bob Holly. Vam Dam was scheduled to work a match, but Arn Anderson pushed for Gunn and Holly to recieve television time because of “the pops they’re getting” at live shows. Anderson was apparently listened to, as we got Gunn and Holly in a tag match instead of RVD. In other Holly news, he was apparently telling the boys backstage that he yelled at Vince McMahon during a meeting. Holly and Gunn have apparently been promised big things as a tag team, and when he was asked to put over Booker T he complained that it went against the plans the writers have for them as a tag team. Holly was telling the boys backstage that he stood up and yelled at Vince, which obviously means that Holly is a stupid liar.

<> Bob Sapp is home in Washington licking his wounds from the mauling he recieved at the hands of Kazayuki Fujita on May 22. The thing is, Sapp could probably beat Fujita if he trained, but apparently he’s too busy being Big Bad American In Japan to actually, you know, get ready for fights. Sapp has vacated the IWGP title, which really doesn’t mean much anymore since that title isn’t worth much more than the WWE Cruiserweight Title these days. In fact, New Japan announced on Thursday that the belt would be up for grabs in a match this Saturday night, and guess who one of the participants is? If you said Kazayuki Fujita, you get the golden coin for this week.

<> Courtesy of Amazon (via The Dave), here are the top 15 pro wrestling books as of today.

1. Wrestlecrap: The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling by Randy Baer (2,536)
2. Death of WCW by Bryan Alvarez and Randy Baer (8,900)*
3. To Be the Man by Ric Flair (11,397)*
4. Every Man Has His Price by Ted DiBiase (18,962)
5. First Lady of Wrestling by Missy Hyatt (20,594)
6. In the Pit with Piper by Roddy Piper (21,762)
7. Tributes by Dave Meltzer (22,099)
8. Have More Money Now by John Layfield (27,052)
9. The Hardy Boys by Matt & Jeff Hardy (27,160)
9. Pure Dynamite by Dynamite Kid (28,000)
10. Chair Shots and Other Obstacles by Bobby Heenan (30,287)
11. Arn Anderson 4Ever by Arn Anderson (31,409)
12. Bobby the Brain by Bobby Heenan (32,906)
13. Broken Harts by Martha Hart (34,879)
14. Making the Game by HHH (36,986)*
15. The Rock Says by Rock (41,469)

An asterisk denotes that the book is still taking pre-orders and hasn’t been released yet.

I love how the Stone Cold Steve Austin book isn’t even in the Top 15 while WrestleCrap is #1.

<> Torrie Wilson will be on the cover of Hardcore Muscle magazine this August. I don’t know when it hits newstands and I’m pretty sure I’ve never even HEARD of the magazine.

EXCESS PLUGGAGE

<> First up, there’s my blog. I released a free downloadable eBook of my Letters From Iraq blog, so go be one of the thousands who are downloading it. And while you’re there, stick around and get involved with comments and such. I’ve got a new music review site getting ready to debut there, so if that’s your bag I think you’ll enjoy it.

<> Brian Berg talks about the HDLoader for PS2, which earns him a plug here.

<> Shari Brooks has a great article on how to get your foot in the door in the Hollywood writing business — by lying your way into the job. It’s actually quite amusing, and if it works in Hollywood, it’ll work anywhere.

IN CLOSING

Everyone have a safe weekend, and be sure to check back here over the weekend for the various news updates. Oh, and go rent Monster and watch the incredible performance by Charlize Theron, but make sure you don’t watch it as a “date” movie. It’s not something I’d recommend for the little ones, either, but it’s still a great movie.

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