Well, it looks as if another bombshell dropped, but this time my tardiness allows me to be the first to voice my opinions on it.
News To Me – The Reich Stuff
As 411’s resident Bradshaw apologist, a lot of people are already asking what I think of his recent firing from CNBC and about the Nazi gestures in general.
First, let me state very clearly that Bradshaw was wrong to do what he did. One of the first things I learned in international business class is that culture must be respected when an outside entity attempts any venture onto foreign soil. Ignorance is not a viable excuse, either. If you perform insensitive gestures in front of a foreign audience, no matter what the intentions, be prepared to deal with the consequences. If you cannot ascertain the proper perspective behind this thinking, imagine if a foreign company, say a circus or a musical group, came to town and addressed an American audience as slave owning pieces of white trash or used racial epithets. There is little doubt that this act would have a tough time making it back to that venue in the future.
CNBC has already dealt Mr. Layfield one consequence and he should not be surprised if Vince decides to deal him yet another one. You can call it PC kowtowing if you like, but both CNBC and Vince are business owners who must address the question of whether such behavior is tolerable within their organization. This controversy does have the potential to explode and could hurt both businesses if the winds fan the flames in the wrong direction. Vince in particular views Europe and Asia as markets that WWe must tap, so dealing with this matter in the appropriate manner could prove quite crucial.
That leads us to the most obvious question – how should Vince deal with this? The conservative route says, at the very least, Bradshaw should be reprimanded, if not terminated immediately. The reprimand should send a clear message to WWe’s European fans that it does not endorse theatrics like the ones Bradshaw performed and will punish any future theatrics with such measures as fines and even termination. From a practical standpoint, this would also save the SmackDown writers the headache of having to rewrite storylines and reconfigure the card for the upcoming Great American Bash pay-per-view.
Firing Bradshaw, however, might be the right thing to do if the gravity of this matter grows. Call it a form of preventative crisis management. As I recall additional lessons from my days at business school, one of the costliest mistakes businesses tend to make is not addressing an issue adequately before it becomes a full-blown emergency. The points Mr. Grutmanrraised about possible boycotts are valid responses that could result from an inadequate response and could hurt WWe financially. Writing Bradshaw out of the script probably isn’t that hard to do anyway, because I seriously doubt if the writers have things planned beyond more than a few weeks.
The devil’s advocate in me, however, can’t let go of the idea that WWe should run with this somehow. This heat that has fallen on Bradshaw’s shoulders was certainly unplanned, but certainly more immense than what they had anticipated for his character. And heat, good or bad, is what drives a wrestling character.
Think back to the Montreal Screwjob. Vince had an inordinate amount of heat placed upon his person for what he did to Bret Hart, but Vince never apologized or anything like that. He ran with the ball and created the heel McMahon character that played the perfect foil to an up-and-coming Stone Cold Steve Austin. WWe went on to unprecedented heights as a result.
Now, I’m not saying that Bradshaw’s situation is a conceptual replication, but there are similarities. The key difference, however, is that Bradshaw’s heat comes from a subject that is much more sensitive than what amounted to a business dispute between two grown men. This makes it harder to incorporate elements of that heat into Bradshaw’s character (i.e. you cannot turn him into a wrestling brown shirt). Of course, there are other matters to consider like the risks that it runs to the business (potential boycotts and the like), plus the ethical question of whether Bradshaw deserves a greater push as a result of his antics.
It would be quite surreal and something to watch, though. And it has worked before. I can remember a certain 411 writer who lost his job over some insensitive content, but managed to not only run with that ball, but become pretty much the anchor of the entire site. Hell, he’s the reason I came to the site in the first place – I wanted to see what the fuss was all about.
However, like a lot of great ideas in life, the timing may be the dealbreaker. After all, this is the post-wardrobe malfunction/Patriot Act era. What could’ve been done a few years ago can’t be done at this time as Clear Channel’s Howard Stern fine demonstrates. Given this, I’d predict some form of punishment gets doled out in Bradshaw’s direction and I would be a bit surprised to see it come in the form of a pink slip.
Finally, if he does get fired, I’ll still miss the character. I’ve always had a strict policy of separating ones performances from one’s personal attitudes and struggles and I enjoy the Bradshaw character for what it is worth. He is probably a complete dickhead in real life, but in the ring he did try to entertain us, even in Germany when he made his blunder, and I think he did about as good a job as one could expect with the JBL persona.
Ultimately, however, it’s his bed and now he has to lie in it.
News To Me – Subtle Reminder
This has nothing to do with anything other than to show you my powers of prognostication. I’ll do this Eric S.-style:
So, naturally, I expect Kane to bear a lot of the blame from the Benoit lovers out there as to why the SS Benoit isn’t storming out of the dock and taking over the wrestling seas.
– Me, in my May 25th news column
A couple of good matches in the first hour make this another good effort, but you can really feel the momentum being sucked out of this show by trying to push Kane as a legit contender again, and the Eugene stuff in particular ate up WAAAAAY too much time on this show.
– Scott Keith, RAW Rant for May 31st
This match was nothing, and the buildup is making me less interested in seeing the match by the day, as Kane has spent most of it side-drained with Matt Hardy in a feud that went nowhere. Not to mention that he hasn’t had a good match in forever
– Scott Keith, RAW Rant for June 7th
It never fails. What these criticisms really amount to, of course, are a scapegoat for the ratings, which are kinda close to SmackDown’s once you account for the fact that fewer people get UPN.
Again, the most likely answer is that people really aren’t into wrestling right now. The finals for hockey and basketball are on (which he even admits he watched) and this Benoit thing simply doesn’t have the legs to get casual viewers hooked. It’s fine for good wrestling matches, but let’s not get our expectations for his title reign all out of whack. I mean, how far can one expect him to go when one of the mottos of this reign has been “Chris Benoit is for real”. That seems to suggest that some might have reason to think that he isn’t right off the bat.
News To Me – Cut A Rug
Victoria’s dancing days are done? My expert analysis – good.
Now turn her back into the heel that I know and love.
Missing Links
Grutman’s return was well worth reading, as I mentioned above.
Nute breaks down the noggin knocker.
Zlock debuts his column featuring tag teams with a look at La Resistance. This report/column has argued for over a year that tag teams are an effective method for creating little things that develop characters. As such, this column gets my full endorsement.
Readers’ Picks – Chop Suey
DJ Lind checks in with an unintentional little thing that Benoit left for us on Kane’s chest:
Benoit wasn’t directly involved in this, but when Kane confronted Lita backstage tonight, the first thing I noticed where the huge welts on Kane’s chest from Benoit’s chops. It reminded me of when Flair split Sting’s chest open during the first Clash of Champions. Unintentional things like that shows a viewer just how vicious those chops of his really are.
I don’t think he is the greatest champ in the world, but you have to respect his realism in the ring and even outside of it after he’s finished wrestling.
Bill will now guide us through the Little Things from last Monday’s RAW. He prefaces it with some political commentary and ends with a historical Little Thing to boot, which I’m sure are just a couple of the angles he will add once he takes over the column in the coming weeks.
The Little Things
Hello World.
As it should be, Haley is providing most of the meat for the column this week (the shorter his absence, the less painful it is for all of us), but I can’t refrain from commenting on one bit of news outside of the little things this week.
Nearly ten years now, I’ve patiently waited, salivating, for the ravages of time to vanquish the bloated waste of flesh that was Ronald Reagan. The magic moment has finally arrived, and I can ignore the idiotic tributes, and the dim-witted lionizing glosses of recent history that paint the Vacuous Fool as some sort of hero. None of that matters, when I can revel in the joy that death brings low even the most evil of men. Eric S. has already given you a fair laundry list of why Reagan is quietly but fervently despised by so many, and I know that anything too extensive here would waste time better spent on other things. I only add this little touch of disgust because I’ve read of the preparations for the Fool’s state funeral, and it pushed me a bit over the edge. To see such a man trailing behind the “riderless horse” is simply too rich an irony. That is, after all, his real legacy to America — a government of “riderless horses,” committed to reflexive action and instinct, without bothering to consider the pesky problem of forethought or long-term analysis. I’ll enjoy imagining him as he rots.
On to this week’s installment of the Little Things:
1. Psychology Today
I have no idea if this will be catching, or if RAW was simply kissed by the wrestling gods last night, but kudos to the undercard performers for thinking on the job. Beginning with Kim-Lita (as Kim focused on Lita’s leg), everybody seemed to pick an opponent’s body part for the evening and work methodically to disable it. The announcers were in on the trend, as Ross and Lawler pointed out how potential injuries to the ladies, to Jericho, to Benjamin, and to Michaels could dramatically reshape this weekend’s Bad Blood PPV. I expect this sort of consistency from HHH/HBK, but it seemed EVERYONE took it to heart this week and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Batista’s tributes to the overseeing Flair (and Michaels’ using Naitch’s moves against HHH) were especially nice touches that built stories both inside and outside the ring.
2. Hmmmm… Wonder Who Booked That?
So, Johnny Nitro (complete with the beloved Nitro theme) gets jobbed out to a retard?? And, on the same note, realize that a wrestling retard has been, arguably, Bischoff’s most successful contribution to RAW in his run as GM (within the storyline.) This pattern makes me think somebody is still a TAD bit upset about the Monday Night Wars. I can only guess, when the time comes, how Vince will write Eric out of the promotion (gory death? Castration?)
3. Wayans Brother Makes the List!
His “Two-inch pythons?!?!” would beat up the Rock?? Marlon came up with that line seemingly off the top of his head. Although it was a bit dated (since he might have meant to reference the Hogan-Rock feud of WM 18), I can hardly quibble when an outsider shows that kind of quick-thinking knowledge of the sport. That shining moment also supports Haley’s theory that anything that touches the Rock (however remotely) turns to gold.
4. ‘Gene the Dancing Machine
Eugene’s in-ring strategy is one of the most sophisticated I’ve ever seen. Seriously. He knows he’s a little bit on the troglodytic side, so his top priority is to stupefy his adversary. Airplane spins, giant swings, rolling takedowns… his (funny) signature moves all make his opponent dazed and confused, taking away his most significant advantage. Eugene really is a genius!
One thing he could be doing even better, though. Lillian Garcia, when she introduces Eugene, stands there with the happiest smile on her face, laughing at his antics. She is begging to be hugged. As is the timekeeper. And anybody else in the way. The opportunity to use crowd plants in humorous encounters is also yet unutilized. Eugene is old-school goofy character, and he can benefit from these old-school goofball little things.
Editor’s note: I enjoyed the JYD tribute a lot, but part of me thinks the waving to the crowd is coming perilously close to infringing upon Spike’s waving back in his ECW days.
5. The Return of the Mighty Zeus
As John has mentioned before, he loves his doses of old-fashioned ridiculousness in wrestling. If you can’t laugh at men in tights growling at each other, you probably shouldn’t watch men in tights growling at each other. Anyway, one of my all-time heroes in this category is the great Tim “Tiny” Lister, known to the world as Zeus. I don’t care much for the mid-90’s Dungeon of Doom incarnation — I miss the original, vintage WWF 1989 no-selling, slow-moving clod. Whenever I see a complete and total no-sell of preposterous proportions, I think of Mr. Lister’s crossed-eyes and smile. That was my reaction to Kane last night.
This was a textbook case of the simplest approach being the soundest approach. Want to make a Monster Heel? Make him, to use Gorilla Monsoon’s words of choice, “impervious to pain.” Last night’s situation wasn’t perfect (and I understand anyone who is upset that Benoit, of all people, was on the wrong end of the no-sell), but it still awakened my inner mark. Placing that confrontation at show’s end is another wonderful choice, as no other image caps a program for me like a dominant heel in triumph, leaving me on the edge for next week (or this Sunday.)
Honorable Mentions:
(Hey, I only get to do this for a few weeks)
— If you missed seeing Stacy walk to the ring to open the show, you missed seeing some tantalizing panty shots.
— Benoit interrupted the Canadian National Anthem (en Francais) this week. I don’t know whether that counts as treason in the Great North, but I really felt sorry for him. Especially since he was introduced as hailing from “Atlanta, GA” as he interrupted the Anthem. Add to that the USA chant in another all-Canadian match, and I become very afraid for the future.
For your last Little Thing this week, I am beginning (with Haley’s gracious assent) a somewhat new feature. As you can probably tell, I am a very nostalgic wrestling fan, and some Little Things struck me YEARS AGO as so hilarious that I remember them even today, long after surrounding details have faded from my mind. These moments stand apart as:
The Little Things in History
SummerSlam 1988, Madison Square Garden — The Day I was Shown the Light
Your InterContinental Champion at the evening’s beginning was the longest-reigning ever (Orton should be envious), the legendary Honky Tonk Man. His match, an equally legendary squash loss to the Ultimate Warrior, is so renowned that even the newest fan might learn of it from some admiring old coot who writes respectives. What is isn’t often discussed is the match’s crowning moment — for me anyway.
After being thrashed, Honky Tonk is Gorilla Press Slammed by Warrior. Warrior raises his arms, and runs for his leaping splash, his grand finale. HTM should be, in the world of kayfabe, so dead that he won’t move for weeks. Sadly for the any true believer in the genuineness of the sport, though, something goes wrong. I always like to think that Warrior, erudite scholar that he is, just forgot what set of ropes to bounce off of. I don’t know, but I am glad HTM noticed. To save his life, “unconscious” Honky had to spin quickly on the canvas to take the move across his body, rather than ON HIS FACE. When I, still a young boy, first saw this, I thought Honky Tonk Man was the most generous man in the world to cooperate in his own beating.
Catch this moment, if you can. It sums up a great moral in a few frames: Namely, that Warrior is an idiot.
That is all from us this week. Keep the comments coming and we’ll see you next week.
Haley
