Hey everyone, I’m here this week, but not in the position you’d normally expect from me. As I mentioned last week, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make Sunday, due to scheduling conflicts. Working 2 jobs 4 days out of the week, and then having 3 doctor’s appointments and a grandmother who is having surgery done makes for a very busy week. I tried, but I just couldn’t get into my usual Sunday spot. So you have me here on Tuesday, instead.
Not much going on in my life aside from work, work, work, toil and trudgery. Picked up Hunter S. Thompson’s most recent book, Kingdom Of Fear and damned if that isn’t one hell of an interesting read. His take on the Lisl case, as well as the Goofy President, are entertaining reads. I recommend it for anyone looking for something a little off the beaten track, as Hunter’s writing is simply astounding. Thompson also talks of the time he spent in Grenada, covering the United States invasion of said country back in the 80s, which segues nicely into my next little segment.
Swinging the pendulum back to more orderly and more bullshite inspired areas, I’d like to take the time here to comment about the death of one Ronald Reagan. Eric S has got a nice little list of reasons as to why the media should not be stomping all over themselves to be able to anally service Reagan’s corpse whilst holding hands with Nancy Reagan and the Right. But don’t take Eric’s word (and shame on you for not, the man knows what he’s talking about), here’s another article discussing the sins of Reagan. I’d have said something far sooner than four days after the bastard was dead and buried in the ground, but I submitted my column last Saturday, before the news broke that he was dead, so you’ll have to forgive the flogging, *ahem*, of a dead horse.
Not that it’ll stop the Republicans from doing the exact same thing. C’mon, you just know that something of this sort is going to happen, what with this being an election year. Perhaps a sizable donation to Nancy to get her to do a couple of adverts and affect the sheep whose heartstrings are so easily plucked when Someone Famous dies will happen. Maybe some simple post mortem garbage, connecting the now benevolent Reagan with Bush Jr. and his Band Of Vampires, Highwaymen and Vultures will happen. Who knows? They’d be damned fools not to try and exert some sympathy out of this death.
And for those of you who are right-aligned, could you please come up with some better material when attacking my claims? I run a blog, offsite of 411, and the number of times I get called a fag is pretty sad. Even the ‘educated’ ones out there are making me laugh, as your attempts to try and explain away monetarism and how Thatcher, like Reagan, was a good leader and worked for the people are pitiful, at best. All I ask is for some facts, you people! Surely it can’t be THAT hard to show us how much of a GOOD president Reagan was…right?
Anyf*ck, I’m not an American and this isn’t an Eric S. column so let’s dance away from the political stuff that inflames oh-so-many of you, and make our way into covering…
Da News
– Okay, first off I would like to bring something to all of your attention that a Ryan Newo brought to my attention. Not sure how long this thing has been around, but this is a neat little toy for you musicholics to bugger around with. Although I find some of the mapping to be a little suspect, this system works really well at letting you discover stuff you may not have heard before. Have fun with it.
– Ah, the good ole Bitch Queen of MTV is always good for a kick or two, isn’t she? In a recent interview, Her Royal Vapidness once again declared that she is a ‘wri-tor’ and insisted that having a bunch of other marginally talented/talented musicians and performers assist her with her entire f*cking album were simply there for her help, and the real ’emotion’ that comes from her when she sings these songs should show you who wrote what. Yeah, Yr. Royalness, sadly, I have seen you perform, and you look about excited at performing as Jarome Iginla was about losing the Stanley Cup Final, which is to say, not at all. Isn’t it true that the reason why certain members of your band were selected over others is because of their onstage charisma, and not necessarily because of their musical skills? I know people, Ms. Lavigne, and they tell me things. Don’t try to deny that you’re about as genuine as Britney Spears virginity. We’ll all become better people for it. Thank you.
– London police, in yet another continuing example of have over-reactionary we’ve become as a people, wound up with egg on their face, when some paranoid rat inadvertently received a text message from a supposed TERRORIST with a TERRIFYING message contained therein. What actually happened is far more laughable, as the guitarist for a Clash tribute band ended up dialing the wrong number when he text’d the lyrics to the song ‘Tommy Gun’, a tune performed by the pioneer punkers. Once upon a time this wouldn’t have happened, as those Brits, to a man and a woman, knew all they needed to know about music. Now, though, well, let’s just say that having Q Magazine name Oasis as being the artists behind the Best UK Album ever have left me scratching my head.
– Continuing on with this idiocy and working our way Stateside, we have members of the Senate claiming that file sharing and international terrorism are now linked together to form some sort of super-cirme to threaten the innocent, rape our women and slaughter our cattle. All that’s left is for someone to plunder our churches and raze our lands. I believe an elite team of pot smoking cyborgs from Norway will somehow hook up with Crazed Osama and his legion of mp3 sharing college and university students, which will spell doom for all of us.
Now, to examine this a little more seriously, I could see terrorist funding gaining inroads in the black market in places such as Russia or Asia, where this sort of shit is a very profitable enterprise for pirates, but to say that terrorist groups are profiting handsomely from distributing the latest Britney Spears CD? It’s illogical, and it’s a goddamned smoke screen to try and get people to go against file sharing, whilst continuing on with the War On Terrorism. The money that some of these outfits might obtain from the governments of other countries would be where I would think the majority of funds are obtained, but then again, I’m a simple Website Reporter with no credentials to back myself up, so beware! Beware the evil Liberal Spin Doctoring that comes from people such as yours truly!
Damn…I’m really going off on tangents this week. Moving along…
– Courtney Love, another one of the Old Reliables I can usually count on to provide me with some sort of entertainment in these weekly missives, was QUIET last week, and thus, no Courtney Love Jab Of The Week(tm)! was to be had. This week, however, is another matter entirely, as Ms. Love surrendered herself to authorities this Friday. A warrant was sworn out for her arrest after she attacked one Kristin King, a mutual friend of Love’s, with a metal flashlight and bottle. Additional charges of attempting to legally and illegally distribute History’s Greatest Audio Monster, America’s Sweetheart, were also brought against the former stripper and blow-head. And THAT, Ladies and Gentlemen, was your Courtney Love Jab Of The Week(tm)!
Continuing on with our Love bashing, here’s something culled directly from rockdirt.com:
Courtney Love’s estranged father is blasting the singer in an interview with Globe magazine. “My daughter is the devil,” Hank Harrison said. He also accused Love of being responsible for prompting her husband and Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain from committing suicide. “I felt sorry for him because he was up against the devil, my daughter,” Harrison remarked. “Kurt was a kind and vulnerable soul who was totally destroyed by her. I don’t think that she actually pulled the trigger, but I believe she drove him to it.
– Ray Charles passed away late last week. Sources close to the famous soul singer said that he didn’t see that one coming.
Oh COME ON, as if you weren’t expecting ONE OF US to make some sort of off-color, offensive joke! And it really wasn’t even all that bad when you stop to think about it! I, personally, hadn’t heard anything about Charles’ health until the obit ran last week, so you could say that no one really saw it coming. No, seriously, check out Chris Biscuiti’s tribute to the late Charles, as he does a far better job of honoring him than I ever could.
Here’s some quick little blurbs before we continue on:
– Morrissey wished death upon George Bush. No word yet if the Voodoo Doll is working for him or not. Morrissey, that is, not Dubya.
– After clawing their way out of obscurity, hopping onto Lookout! Records (former home of Rancid and Green Day), and then signing a major label record deal, The Donnas have been unceremoniously dumped from Atlanic Records. Good f*cking riddance.
– Britney Spears injured her knee the other night whilst shooting a video with Snoop Dogg. Make your own jokes here, folks.
Anti-Pop: No Beginning And No End
Melchor gets the top nod this week, instead of being the very last thing I mention. Melchor makes promises of a HUGE announcement later this week, and plots his next move against Mr. YOU. He also covers some additional information regarding the ever changing status of the Libertines. I think this week, they’re considered to be a band, with the lead singer in rehab, although next week, they may be broken up, with the former lead singer in rehab. I, myself, wonder when they’ll become a band that was broken up, with their lead singer in a shallow grave somewhere, but I digress.
– JeffMathan takes over Minority Report duties this week, filling in for Mr. Jeff Fernandez, who is off in Jolly Ole England. Fear not, though, all of you who are devout Fernandez Fans, for your leader and spiritual center of calm and tranquility has a special missive tacked on at the very end.
– Aaron waxes on about being a hard core Giants fan (I think). Yup, Aaron sure likes the Giants. I think I’ll stop talking about baseball here before I start showcasing how little I know about the sport and/or Aaron’s own personal likes and dislikes. It would not behoove me to get into 411’s own Pulitzer Prize Winner (or what equates to the on-site equivalent of such) bad graces, either, so we’ll just move to the next pimp…ALLRIGHTY THEN!
– Mr. YOU continues to stir the pot in regards to the feud that’s brewing between him and Melchor. He also DEMANDS a XM radio show, or babies and small puppies will be eaten by him.
– Elliot isn’t sure of his status, although he’s got 3 out of the 7 days of the week slapped into his column title. 4 more, Elliot! Then you can have the Tuesday Sunday Saturday Morning Paper: The Wednesday/Friday Edition…On MONDAY! And thoroughly confuse the rest of us in the process. Elliot’s also got his shit down and doesn’t bother wasting your time, or mine, for that matter, with meandering pieces like yrs. truly. Just the facts with him, readers!
– Tayo is also a Canadian, dramatically increasing the Canuck prescence here in the Music Zone, and further continuing the Canadian Invasion, Eh? I believe Mr. YOU has gone on record as saying that Tayo did an excellent job filling for him back in April, and I concur. Check out his column for Billboard Analysis Goodness.
And that’s it for the pimpage this week!
Sound Advice
This week, we’ll be taking a look at a band that’s NOT from Canada. Shocking, I know. Unfortunately, I do not have a whole hell of alot of information on them, so this pimpage will be rather moderate.
Earth The California Love Dream is a little UK group that just released a single not too long ago, and have been the focus of a recent Peel Sessions. They’re a darling little rock outfit that I think are destined for Big Things, and are certainly worth a listen. No, I haven’t seen them love, although I would love for them to come over the Atlantic to Canada and indulge myself, but they’ve got to be fairly good.
Their website has got the prerequisite multimedia section so you can take a sample of their rock for yourself. Certainly have that classic rock sound to them, that’s for sure. And as usual, if you like what you hear, pick up the single for yourself and help a little band out.
Other artists featured in Sound Advice: The New Pornographers, The Tea Party.
If you’d like to see an artist featured in Sound Advice, you can contact me on MSN Messenger or e-mail me at trevor411music@hotmail.com or catch me on AIM as flinch311.
The End Is The Beginning Is The End
Well, Jesus, I can’t really talk about new releases here, can I? Expect a review from me later this week for the new Matthew Good disc, as well as me being back in my usual Sunday slot later on. Stay tuned for whoever follows me this week. Will it be Tom, Elliot or Mr. YOU? I’m Trevor, and that was Wednesday!
