Quite conveniently, there is just about zip to report news-wise. I have been quite busy and would not have had time to offer any decent analysis had there been any. So, let me drop a piece of commentary and then we’ll hit the Little Five with Bill.
News To Me – Rating On The Nerves
The RAW rating was up all the way to a 4.2 this week. Do not let that blurb fool you, however. The strength of that rating and the most recent show is 100% attributable to the strength of the Eugene character and storyline. It has ZERO to do with the world champion and ZERO to do with the Rock as he was not advertised to appear in any capacity.
The concept at work here is simple – if you give the fans a compelling story centered on compelling characters and they don’t have an exact clue as to where things are going, people will tune in and stay tuned in. How some people don’t get this is pretty astonishing to me. For example, while I was watching the NBA Finals, particularly during the first two games, Tom Tolbert’s commentary really started to bug me. He moaned and groaned about how the lack of offense, the sloppy play (or good defense depending on how you see the glass) and lack of punch from the star players were contributing to a boring Finals match-up.
What Mr. Bad Suit failed to realize is that despite the lack of technical ecstasy, a compelling story was unraveling before our eyes. The underdog Pistons, composed primarily of castaways and disciplinary problems, were using a solid team concept to smother a very proud franchise with a few rusty wheels and two bickering stars. If this had been a movie or novel centered around two kingdoms, houses, battalions, gangs, etc. it probably would have gotten an award. The ratings, of course, were through the roof and much of the complaining had stopped by series end.
The lesson? Everyone loves a good story and even if everything isn’t perfect – that is to say, if every wrestling match isn’t a five snowflake special – people will watch. In other words, Go Euegene Go. On a related note, kudos to every wrestler involved for playing their parts perfectly. Regal as the mindful mentor, Bischoff as the diabolical manipulator, Eugene as the unwitting hero, HHH as the ambitious manipulator, and Evolution as the muscle/cronies. If there is anyone who is sandbagging it, it has been Benoit who simply cannot for the life of him act his way out of a wet paper bag. This is the perfect chance for him to show anything other than wrestling ability like say, the compassionate champion about to be duped but he isn’t doing a single little thing to convey that. The Rock chimed in for one segment and blew his socks away in this capacity. Of course, he is a real actor now so I guess it’s an unfair comparison.
At any rate, friends, I’m growing bored of the Benoit reign. Good wrestling matches just aren’t enough to keep me interested.
Now, over to Bill. He is especially opinionated this week, so now is a great time to mention that his email is:
Xasler @ aol.com
Send all responses his way since he’ll be taking over soon anyhow.
The Little Things
Hello World.
This week’s Raw left me as happy as a clam, at least for now. Beloved Eugene is in the main event picture, and in a situation where he will regularly interact with the Man. Continuity reigns, and I am well aware of next week’s main event (which Haley I and will be attending, I might add, probably with Kane regalia to show our support.) My happiness is not blinding; I found a few elements where improvement could be had. Perfection, though, is the last thing I demand from wrestling, especially since Mr. Henning left us. There are always plenty of Little Things to make me smile!
On that note, The Little Things for Summer’s first Raw, 6/21/04:
1. Women Humiliated!
Ok, I’ll be open and honest here — I’m a bit of a misogynist. I have no quarrel with the women’s public rights, and I acknowledge they are fully capable of doing all that men can do, and more. My misogyny is personal and embittered, not politically-motivated, as I am a happy flaming liberal. I simply find it satisfying, as a fat and ugly oft-rejected male, to see young women in emotional pain. Since most of wrestling’s audience is male, I am sure readers out there are largely snickering in agreement, even if they won’t admit it.
Anyway, this is only relevant because this week was a banner show for weeping women!!! Lita’s acting was awful, but it was pleasing to see her philandering exposed; the grief on the part of hundreds of self-absorbed Diva-wannabes, though, was as genuine as they were shallow. Ha! You ALL weren’t good enough.
For a long time, as a misogynist, I have respected and sensed a kinship with Vince on high. This was all made very explicit when he reduced Trish Stratus to barking (a belated thank you! for that), but it traces back years before, to the meek and proper managing of the late Ms. Elizabeth. I am quite sure that this diva search, though primarily a reality show knock off, was conceived in part to allow WWE programming to highlight the humiliation of these vapid pixies. In fact, if I were concerned about painting my position more innocuously, I could argue that Vince is attacking vanity, since neither wrestling nor I makes a habit of deriding the Mother Teresa’s (or the mothers generally) of this world. It is that particular class of objectionable women, superficial and hollow, that Vince mocks, and that I enjoy seeing mocked. Bravo!
2. Hometown Boy
It is no secret that John and I really admire the work of fellow 411 uber-columnist Eric S. I have tried to empathize with his distaste for “Flex,” the Rock, and I think I have some understanding of his position. The face Rock is much less enjoyable than his heel counterpart, and just seems a bit disingenuous: I mean, heelish behavior MADE the Rock what he is, and any reversion to any other attitude is truly a retrogression, almost incompatible with character. And, in heavy doses, face Rock is can be a bit tiresome, as he is much less original in his routine, having a standard set of cliches, each of which he parades through in every appearance. This is not to mention a widespread criticism that the Rock is not loyal enough to the business, since we are lucky to see him semiannually now.
All that said — I can’t help it — it is wonderful each time Rocky comes back for what is now a mere cameo appearance. I’ll take what I can get, even if he has to praise the Miami sports establishment to the sky. Why? Because the guy does the Little Things that make wrestling great. His individual zingers aren’t always on fire (although the “My Little Pony” bit from Monday was, if you ask me), but the Rock, quite simply, delivers the most polished promos ever. He speaks steadily, with energy, and with an unparalleled mastery of the language (for a wrestler.) Even the Man, my hero, occasionally descends into a snarling mass of howls (which is fine, for him, and as a wrestling style in general.) Not the Rock. Heel or face, he presents himself in promos as a real orator, with something important to say and the gifts necessary to say it well. I’ve seen that kind oratorical self-mastery before, but never from a wrestler. It is a privilege to have such a person grace a wrestling ring whenever he chooses to. And, if he can add in anecdotes about grandmas beating each other up, so much the better.
3. Weekly Flair-Worship
Last week, I told you all — the Man is the Man for thousands of Little reasons. This week, he makes the show for me yet again. During your main event, Flair mounted the ring ropes to distract the hapless ref, allowing HHH to do something to push my friend Eugene out of the ring. I don’t know what HHH did, because I was watching Flair’s face. It was so cool. While arguing with the ref, Flair was looking PAST him, straight at Eugene. The instant Eugene was on the floor, Flair was off the ropes. With a brief glance at the ref to make sure he was checking HHH in ring, Flair first sauntered, and then ran over to Eugene to get a cheapshot in on the floor! You see, Flair made every single element of that bit as real as possible, even though it was a tiny spot in the match. That is dedication to the craft of the sort that earns you the title of “Ring General!”
While Ric made the main event for me, I have to object to the apparent NO DECISION this week. I understand that undefeated Eugene can’t lose, and HHH can’t lose cleanly if he is being built to challenge Benoit. Still, with a chair passing around the ring like an STD in a cathouse, a DQ seems warranted. If you can’t DQ Hunter, then at least ring the bell for a DOUBLE DQ and give us a firm draw. It seems clear that Eugene and Hunter aren’t done with their program, so a draw is a decent finish to build the feud.
4. Refs Need To Do Their Jobs
In the old days, says this grizzled wrestling fan, the ref could be a treasure-trove of good Little Things. Tommy Young, who started the laudable custom of holding the ropes for the Man as Champ, was a master in his own right, and could entertain me endlessly with his baseball slides to get in the proper place to count a pinfall.
Editor’s Note: The Tommy Young bit where he held the ropes open for the champ is one of my favorites of all-time. It makes the champ look bigger than the actual sport itself and gives instant credibility to the title, which is always a good thing.
Now, I have already mentioned above that the Ref in the Main Event could have declared a draw, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume a NO DECISION was scripted, so that isn’t his fault. The Moron Ref in the Trish/Victoria match needs to be fired NOW. He counted that suspicious pinfall with his feet hanging out of the ring. WHAT?? Refs put their feet out of the ring for one reason only — to allow a second to interfere with the pin. It is an unwritten rule of Ref conduct that, otherwise, the Ref stays in the ring. This prevents unsteady counts and dangerous slips. Of course, this ref had to be in a position to miss (conveniently) Trish’s cheating rope-grab. That’s understandable, but he can accomplish that easily by placing him parallel to the ropes, rather than hanging outside like a drunken monkey.
While I am angry, here’s another gripe at kayfabe officiating that is really a gripe with the script. While was Jericho allowed to look like a complete dunce who could be killed by a clothesline? And, more importantly, why did the match go on? The point was made (Evolution is a bad-ass) and could have been re-enforced by an illegal post-match beatdown of Edge. I suppose continuing made Edge look a little valiant, but considering that he still lost very badly, I hardly think it built his heat. Moreover, it made no sense, because the ref is there to stop a match if a participant can’t continue, not to license a mauling.
5 The Little Things in History — SummerSlam ’89
Since I ended this week’s RAW Little Things with a complaint against snafus, I thought it would be appropriate to revisit history’s greatest little foul-up.
I miss you, Rick Rude. I have never seen someone whose puckered lips could make me laugh as easily as yours could. (Well, that is a tad bit homoerotic, but I am man enough to leave it in.) But even you, a master of many situations, were left speechless here. The greater scheme of things concerned the IC Title, to be defended in by Mr. Rude against the man from whom he had stolen his IC belt at Wrestlemania V, Ultimate Warrior. So, in prelude to this, there begins an interview, live on PPV, backstage against a Purple backdrop, with a Yellow SummerSlam sign overhead. Your interviewer in Mean Gene, arrayed with Rude and manager Bobby Heenan. Okerlund starts with a few words, recalled inexactly from memory:
“Well, Bobby Heenan, this is your big mat……”
The sign drops, LOUDLY. Rude and Heenan are momentarily shaken, but cool. Okerlund, apparently fearing for his life or something, is less cool. These words, I recall exactly.
“F-ck it!,” he exclaims.
Before a RAPID cut-away, we, the viewers, are treated to the first on-air clue of Vince’s WWF overlordship, a quick, muffled, “That’s just great” off camera.
The best part of this Little Thing is the reaction of ringside color-man Gov. Ventura, also left speechless for a rare moment in his career. After the cut-away, his words were, “Ahhhhhh…. Hmmmm… Ahhhhh…. Well, we’re live!”
Please send me all the complaints and suggestions you can muster at my email, which Haley will not forget to include this week. Till next week, when John and I will both be able to offer onsite insight from the Bash and Raw, relish life’s little things!
That is all from us this week. Keep the comments coming and we’ll see you next week.
Haley
