THE RAGER! Why I Loved Brodus Clay’s WWE Return

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Coming off one of the more entertaining (whether in a good or bad sense) Raws in recent memory, lets take an in-depth look at the one moment I’m sure nobody can forget (whether they want to or not).

In recent weeks, I know I’ve gotten into the kick of preaching to you, my Rageans, about not getting worked up over wrestling and just enjoying it for the entertaining, ridiculous and sometimes silly circus that it is. I know its oxymoronic for a column entitled THE RAGER to take such a passive and relaxed stance but I do what I want (for a lack of a better explanation).

I had to catch myself at first when I first viewed the return of the new Brodus Clay live on Raw because my initial reaction was essentially “are you kidding me” and “please tell me this is just a bad joke gone wrong.” That same feeling carried all the way as I watched the remainder of Raw. As Chris Jericho came out and said nothing again, I was still contemplating if I really saw Clay looking like the bodyguard for Run DMC. As I saw Miz try to push Ricardo Rodriguez into an awkward racial joke situation with R-Truth (only for Ricardo to become the racial joke, himself), I felt sorry for Curt Hawkins to have to job for an awkwardly dancing Kool-Aid Man. And while Zack Ryder demonstrated that he had no idea how to change a tire (can’t say that I would do much better) and while John Cena sprang Kane’s trap, I wondered why Brodus wanted someone to call his momma so badly..at least get the police to run a wellness check or something.

And then the episode ended and I sat at my computer, going through blogs and reactions while I waited on a call from my girlfriend to tell her goodnight (because I’m whipped like that, don’t hate). Eventually, my curiosity led me to rewatch the segment on youtube and I found myself laughing a lot more. It wasn’t in the sense that I was laughing at him but more out of just pure enjoyment. Lets go through this so I can explain my point better:

Justin Roberts is in the ring and announces that Brodus is from Planet Funk and is the Funkasaurus. The music hits and out comes two dancing NXT rejects and with the energy of rabid raccoon and the style of Rerun, himself, we get our first glimpse of Brodus Clay. The trio dance their way down the ramp and into the ring where they get into formation and do an awkwardly choreographed dance bit. Brodus then abandons the dance, plays up the crowd a little before abandoning his tracksuit pants. Brodus then gets into his B Boy stance and pyro goes off from the ring posts.

We then see Curt Hawkins at ringside, looking just as derpy as the rest of us after watching that. The match begins as Clat gyrates around whilst making Hawkins look like a ragdoll. My favorite sequence of events is Hawkins slapping and trying to pull off an Irish-whip Clay only to apparently amuse him and get a funky headbutt. After delivering a suplex that sends Hawkins flying over to the opposite side of the ring, Clay proclaims that it is, indeed, “his bad” only to pull over his combo finisher which was a high cross body in which he proclaimed “sheeewah.” The bell rings and the music begins once again and so does the awkward choreography.

So this twist of events can be explained a few different ways. My initial explanation was that WWE kept putting this off because they couldn’t come to a conclusion to the direction to go and finally gave up and did this, knowing it wouldn’t last long and giving up on Brodus, himself.

Another possible explanation, and I’m hoping this is the truth, WWE was planning to pull a fast one on us all the whole time. I think this character could have some decent mid-card possibilities in a Zack Ryder kind of character. I thought the match itself, along with Clay’s antics, was just plain fun once you stop taking everything seriously, like I initially did.

Share your thoughts on the man from Planet Funk in the comments below, good or bad.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer:
Fellini Teaches Community College

Forget about writer’s block.
If it’s any consolation,
even the typewriter is depressed.

(from B is for Bad Poetry)

Chris is a writer from Fayetteville, NC. He's the co-creator of Irrelevant But Awesome Productions which produces podcasts you all know and love like Classy Ring Attire, Trashy Ring Attire and The Disney Magic Podcast. You can keep up with everything on twitter by following @IBAStudios and @CWSanders39