Hello, hello, and welcome to another edition of SBS, here on 411. I’m Trevor Presiloski, with God serving as my co-pilot. Hope you’re having as much fun as I am this week. Got to listen to the new Sarah Slean disc, which, for those of you out there who like her, should be due out in September, and I am quite enthralled with the new Hives disc, which you should pick up as well. It’s a little more low key than Veni Vidi, but it’s still the same old rockin’ Hives. Do yourself a favor and pick it up. Other than that, let’s hop over to what’s more or less becoming a regular feature of this column…
The Hockey News
Yeah, it’s a lameass title unless you know where I ganked that from. I’ll be getting a little long winded later on in the column, so I’ll keep things short and sweet. Shanahan re-signed to the Wings? Big fricken whoop. The NHL and the NHLPA met and talked? Well, that’s progress, but it’s still no closer to a new CBA, and, more importantly, a hockey season come the Fall, so that’s really non-news. Blah. Very soft week for hockey news, so let’s get onto an even weaker section this week with…
Da News
– Earlier this week, Lars Ulrich learned to share, care of his soon-to-be ex-wife, Skylar Ulrich. Seems the couple have been split up since March, and will be sharing custody duties for their children. That is to say that this is one thing that Lars made that he’s willing to share with someone. I know, I’m as shocked as you are.
– The RIAA padded it’s war chest just a little bit more this week, winning a settlement against Israeli software developers iMesh. Net gain for this little lawsuit? $4.1 million. I could say something here, mentioning how the courts had already ruled that software companies were not liable for the use of software, but what’s the f*cking point? The RIAA blows and if you don’t know this by now, well, I’m going to assume you’re voting Bush come November, as you’re as clueless as they come.
And…God, what is there to talk about this week?
– Quote of the week goes to one of the idiots in Slipknot, regarding someone who is trying to impersonate one of the group’s members:
“He’s, like, trying to use credit cards and stuff, I think, I don’t know. There’s so many weird people that try to get away with that, but it’s totally cool, you know.”
Huh.
And that’s all there really is for news this week, considering all the other columnists were ready and going this week, and had their bases covered. Let’s float along to what’s going to end up being the longest portion of the column this week. Barkeep, pour me an…
Anti-Pop: Space Mountain May Be The Oldest Ride, But It’s Still Got The Longest Line, Woo!
Well, well, well. Seems I’m going on a bit of a streak on pissing people off, and it would also seem that I’ve earned the ire of one of my fellow 411 Writers…and someone NOT of the Music Zone, at that! This week’s taboo subject was my reporting on Cannibal Corpse, and the controversy that surrounded them at a recent tour stop in Toronto. I will admit I made a mistake and said that the band’s performance was cancelled, when in fact they were simply threatened with a cancellation by the Hate Crimes unit of the Toronto PD. Since I’m not a huge fan of gore-metal (or whatever f*cking genre you want to call it…), so I expressed my own opinions in my rather large and informative op-ed column. This prompted a response from Slayer NY, one of the writers on 411 Black to fire off a missive to me, to wit:
OH MY GOD! I can’t believe what you said about the Corpse! If you don’t like it, fine. I don’t expect most people to like them. But three things bothered me.
1) You advocated their censorship! What kind of music writer promotes the silencing of a musician?
2) You called them racists without any provocation! That’s the worst thing you can do to somebody. They are NOT racists. The REAL story is that the prosecutor in charge of the case assumed they were racists because of their genre.
3) You call them violent crap. They are. I can’t dispute that. But you call Reznor an ‘ar-teest’. The man did a 30 minute faux snuff video!
4) The Hate & Morality Department? By god, it sounds like something from 1984!
5) They did play. They made a deal to make the show 18 and over only, so, pbbbth!
Obviously I can’t respond to such brillant debating, specifically the end part, but I’ll give it the old college try anyways.
You didn’t really read what I had written.
1, I didn’t advocate for their censorship. I simply stated that the horrible amount of gore in the material is a gimmick, and if you take that away, you really have nothing all that special or remarkable. I don’t care much for Cannibal Corpse, and was simply expressing my own personal TASTES, with me saying ‘kudos to TO for exercising some good taste’. Difference there. I don’t see much of a place for this type of music at all, but if people are willing to spend money on it and listen to it…well, that’s their choice. You’re correct in that I don’t have to like it.
2, I don’t believe I called them racists at all. I said that they were going to be charged with hate crimes if they performed certain material, which is what the story I was reporting on was about. Go back and re-read what I wrote if you don’t believe me. Actually, I’ll take this story from the Brave Words, Bloody Knuckles website, which I believe was the source material for the story I read:
So, I woke up to a phonecall Friday Morning from The Hate And Morality Department of the Metropolitan Toronto Police Department. They told me I would be arrested and charged under Section 319 of the Criminal Code of Canada if Cannibal Corpse performed in Toronto. They also told the Opera House that they would be charged as well if the band hit the stage.
So, I inquired why. I was told the band was racist. Then the Detective began citing their early records claiming they were aimed towards minorities (Hammer Smash Face, Butchered At Birth). He then told me that as well, they incite violence towards minorities and women in their lyrics. They have been downloaded, and reviewed
So basically, that more or less sums up what I was reporting on in my original little bit about it. Also, unless something new had happened, there isn’t a ‘case’ going on with CC, the police were simply put under pressure by a couple of Women’s Lib groups.
3, I said that as a metal group goes, CC are rather subpar, especially when you toss out their whole gimmick of pregnant women being disemboweled on meathooks on their album covers (or whatever, you know what I mean), and songs like ‘Fucked With A Knife’, and vocals that you cannot understand without a lyric sheet right in front of you, and even then, it’s sometimes iffy. If you want to use Reznor as an example, I simply believe that he can bring more to the table than simple gimmicky, and he hasn’t built a career on making a 30 minute snuff film like CC have. I don’t even think he has made a snuff film, unless you’re talking about ‘Happiness In Slavery’ which was a banned music video.
I dunno. I don’t see Cannibal Corpse collaborating with David Bowie anytime soon.
4, I don’t quite understand this, so all I’m going to say is that you’re over your self-made quota of three things to be taking issue with.
5, Yes, well ,the story I had referenced said that the show was cancelled, and I was later updated on this when I caught them doing an interview here in Calgary before their show Saturday night. Near as I could tell, they were asked not to perform a couple of songs and they obliged them.
Now, this brings us to an interesting point, as I did indeed catch an interview they did with previous Sound Advice inductee, local college station CJSW. They seem like nice and articulate fellows, more or less, so I can’t really understand WHY they make what they make. One of the guys, who I am presuming is the lead singer, was going on about how this is his ‘art’. Yes, I’m using that word in quotation marks, as I really don’t see the artistic merits of something like this. You could argue that anything ever drawn, written, recorded, etc, is art in a sense, but I mean, where do you draw the line, if anywhere?
Are the Friday the 13th movies artistic cinema? By and large, no. They’re poorly acted, scripted, put together films that, even by older standards, are rather rough around the edges in the technical aspects and aren’t generally lauded in the same category as say, Citizen Kane or The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Certainly you won’t hear anyone (aside from diehard fans, perhaps) arguing over who is better: Cannibal Corpse or Led Zeppelin, as it’s more or less accepted by most people that Led Zeppelin are far skilled at their craft than the CC boys. Does Cannibal Corpse cross the line and come across as being ‘avant garde’? Possibly, and yes, I could begrudgingly admit that they, along with whatever similar sounding bands that may have preceded them, were ‘pioneers’ in a sense, but to me, to be a true ‘artist’ and someone who is a truly creative individual, you have to be able to continually challenge yourself and present new things to the public. What Cannibal Corpse essentially does is re-make Citizen Kane 80,000 times, claiming that each reiteration is just as a fresh and exciting as the previous one. I’ve said the same thing about previous bands, even ones that I’m a fan of (REM’s most recent disc, for example, was rather pedestrian, and the song that came off of that Greatest Hits package was more or less a textbook definition of treading water, so don’t think I’m playing favorites here).
Beyond that, I don’t understand what anyone could find to be positive about CDs that have numerous people committing suicide on the front cover, but if someone wants to try and explain that to me, the e-mail is at the bottom. With that, I think I’ve devoted WAY too much space to a band that I really don’t care that much about, so let’s move on to bigger and better things. Oh, and go and scope out Slayer’s column while you’re at it.
– Jeff + MAD LIBS == General Mayhem & Haberdashery. I’m not sure if that last one there is an actual word, but there ya go. He also got stood up for the Jukebox this week, and has some information regarding possible internships for a certain music related company. Click the link and find out more, yo.
– Aaron refuses to answer the question I posed to him in last week’s column, instead giving me one hell of a pat on the back with my writing. Believe it or not Aaron, I do have some music news tucked away in these long, wandering diatribes I pop out every week, you just have to look for it.
– Mathan‘s got 99 reasons why Jay Z rules, and being a bitch ain’t one. (Don’t) HIT ME!
– Mr. YOU, or FUCK to his friends, is calling it quits this week. This time he’s serious. No, honest, I’m not kidding here or making shit up. I’ll be sad to see Evocator go, as he was the guy who ended up hooking me up with a writing gig here on 411, which in turn helped me get a little more grounded with my OWN writing and self-confidence, and for that I’m really grateful. The weekly columns won’t be the same without you around, Mr. Manes, that’s for sure. If you ever wish to hijack a column for your own nefarious purposes, I’ll gladly give it up to you. For those of you who just NEED your Evocator fix, keep in mind that he’ll still be around for CD Reviews and his Wayback Machines.
– Major Tom doesn’t look to be sitting in a tin can, far above the world, as he tossed out a column this week, and…
– In even more shocking news, Elliot joined him in contributing a column this week, as well as an interview with Andrew WK. What, were all the f*cking planets aligned this week or something? Has hell frozen over? Since when have we had a FULL week of music coverage here on this site? I do believe that RAISES are in order for all of us, Mr. Widro & Mr. Ashish, as this sort of consistency may not be able to hold out without a little bit of the green stuff to grease the wheels. Wink, wink.
Yeah, yeah, I know. If Eric S, the patron saint to stomping out spyware everywhere can’t get paid with this gig here, what sort of chance does yrs. truly have? Answer: None.
– Finally, Melchor was in his usual Monday timeslot, completely bursting through the seams of the predefined column widths. If you keep it up, Melchor, we’re gonna have to devote a section of 411 to ya.
The End Is The Beginning Is The End
Well, that’s about all there is for me this week. I’ll have something a little more substantial next Sunday, though. It’ll be a little bit different than what’s normally offered from yrs. truly from week to week, so tune in next week and find out what I’m babbling about.
Pick up Hellboy on Tuesday if you want a decent comic book action flick that doesn’t lick goat nuts like Halle Berry’s Catwoman. I’m Trevor, and that was Sunday. Keep your eyes peeled for Melchor tomorrow. CIAO!
