NWA: TNA Review By Flea 07.29.04



AMW – Chris Harris / James Storm d. Bobby Roode /
Petey Williams w/ Scott D’Amore (Storm superkick on Roode allows Harris to get
the roll up; pin)

Mike Posey d. David Young (roll up; pin)

NWA TAG TITLE MATCH: The Naturals – Chase Stevens
/ Andy Douglas d. XXX – Christopher Daniels / Elix Skipper (The Natural Disaster
[double team neckbreaker] on Daniels; pin)

Number One Contender Match: Jeff Hardy d. Monty
Brown (roll up; pin)

Ultimate X Match: Frankie Kazarian and Michael
Shane d. A.J. Styles (both K and Shane retrieved the belt – both guys are
champs…or co-champs. Unreal.) 

TNA has officially lost all momentum, if there is any kind of
"official" record being kept. The crowd couldn’t care less anymore,
which I trace directly back to the Russofied World Title debacle last month.
What should be the hottest angle in wrestling at the moment (Raven vs. Sabu)
withered on the vine due to a crowd exuding a silence normally reserved for
Sunday morning church. Even worse in my opinion is Kazarian, Shane and Styles
busting their ass to have a great match, only to see the entire thing blown to
smithereens because someone wants to get cute and have "co-champs". At
this point, I’m hoping they bring in Piper, just so I have a legitimate excuse
not to watch. Oh yeah – the "money" feud now is Russo vs. Dusty, or at
least it’s heading in that direction. Yup.


AMW – Chris Harris / James Storm d. Bobby
Roode / Petey Williams w/ Scott D’Amore (Storm superkick on Roode allows Harris
to get the roll up; pin)

The show started off great, the crowd was eating
the heel antics of the Canadian team up with a spoon, which just confirms that
the crowd *wants* to go apeshit for this show, but is consistently jerked around
and eventually turned into apathetic bumps on logs after about 30 minutes.
D’Amore gets involved, using a strap to whip both Storm and Harris and drawing
what looked to be death threats from the xenophobic Nashville crowd. Classic
heel tag team beatdown strategy, which naturally leads to a white hot babyface
comeback, in this case, that would be Storm cleaning house, AMW attempting what
I believe is the old "Hart Attack" double team move (I don’t think I
have seen that in about 5 years) but no dice – D’Amore has the refs attention,
leaving AMW and the crowd to count to three themselves. In vain, of course. But,
it worked out in the end when Roode went for a powerbomb, Storm kicked him in
the face allowing Harris to get the pin. The high point of the show, without a

 Mike Posey d. David Young (roll up; pin)

Young is certainly trying his best…and that’s
the best thing that can be said for this. Posey’s offense is as such – punch
like a girl, use a broom for your babyface comeback and sneak in a dropkick that
"alledg…."- Christ, who CAN’T throw a dropkick? Except Eric Watts.
And Foley. Posey is a double workrate sucker as he leans * away * from the
punches instead of * into * them. I learned that one from Phil Rippa years ago.
Disco tries to help, which allows the 98lbs Weakling to get his dropkick in
(which the camera TOTALLY misses, HAWR!) and get the cheapo roll-up pin. Per his
self inflicted stipulations, Young must leave TNA. Post-match, in a beatdown
unworthy of Flea wasting his time talking about it in the angle section, Disco /
Swinger double-team Young and shove the Gut Check List down his

NWA TAG TITLE MATCH: The Naturals – Chase
Stevens / Andy Douglas d. XXX – Christopher Daniels / Elix Skipper (The Natural
Disaster [double team neckbreaker] on Daniels; pin)

Good enough match. The Tag Team division seems to
be back on track, as the chase is on to get those nasty, cheating Naturals. See,
keep it simple. Let it build. What else do these guys have to do?
"TRIPLE" X  does need to get a 3rd member, but that’s just

Number One Contender Match: Jeff Hardy d.
Monty Brown (roll up; pin)

As quick as Monty Brown is improving, Jeff Hardy
continues to deteriorate. The match itself was not all that bad, it’s just weird
watching Hardy work at a snail’s pace and just not really get into it. He seems
to be enjoying the crowds reaction to him, but…let’s put it this way: he ain’t
going back to WWE anytime soon, lest he wants to get laughed out of the
building. No way he could keep up with the pace of anyone on that roster, at
least not for more than 10 seconds. I’m not sure if Brown’s submission maneuvers
(armbar and leg grapevine, STF, bodyscissors) were included to protect Hardy,
but I think that type of stuff would work great with the "animal"
gimmick Brown is using. Tenay refused to call the "Twist of Fate" by
it’s name…Don West has no trouble yelling POOOOUUUUNCCCE" any chance he
gets. Anything else? Oh yeah – Jarrett comes down to interfere, pushing Hardy of
the top rope just as Hardy attempted to show-off his Swanton. Brown took
exception, which allowed Hardy to pin Brown with a roll-up – much like The 98lbs
Weakling did to David Young. Creative my ass. One would think that booking the
same lame finish, the same lame way 52 times per night would cause someone to
say "HEY! Maybe we should do something else!" But who am I to argue
with Dutch Mantell. Hell, I wouldn’t even want to be in the same room with him.
Post match, Brown hits a POUNCE (thanks West!) on Hardy…3 Live Cru run in and
dat is dat. No wait – Dusty comes down and cuts a promo for Jeff (seems to be a
lot of that happening tonight), but Russo shows up and whispers sweet nothings
in the Dream’s ear. No one knows what he said, but Dusty goes bananas. I don’t
like where this is going. At all. Of course, that’s 25 years of putting up with
Dusty’s nonsense talking, not the

Ultimate X Match: Frankie Kazarian and Michael
Shane d. A.J. Styles (both K and Shane retrieved the belt – both guys are
champs…or co-champs. Unreal.) 

Styles was, naturally, the star of the show.
Match centered around K and Shane working together against Styles, with Styles
outfoxing them at every turn. Fabulous looking Summersault Plancha by Styles on
K, which Tenay calls a "Flip Dive". What’s with him lately? Hell, I
even know the Jap name for that move, but I don’t want to show off…what’s his
excuse? He’s been way off his game in the last few months as far as move calling
goes – I just can’t figure out if he is intentionally dumbing it down or if he
quit caring. While outside the ring, Styles takes the opportunity to grab Shane
by the legs and whip him HEADFIRST into the gawrdrail, cracking his head
open…then swings him the * other * direction, ramming said cracked head into
the stairs. Man, that looked brutal and beautiful, with Shane coming out of the
assault a bloody mess. BENEFIT # 32 for being a protégé of HBK – you learn how
to blade while getting slung around – Shane timed it perfectly. Back in the
ring, K and Styles battle on the wire, resulting in a Styles Clash off the wire!
Braver than I ever would be, are they…Yoda. Sorry, that’s Yodawr. Shane hits
the in ring version of the Styles Clash on Shane and pretty much has a one way
ticket to Winsville, until Kid Kash shows up and whacks him with a crutch. This
allows Shane and K to simultaneously get the gold and be declared Co-Champs.
Says you. I understand that they most likely want to allow Styles and Kash to do
their thing and feud K and Shane over the X-Belt, but Co-Champs? Why don’t they
just make them wear dresses and ride stick horses while they are at it. I
haven’t really read anyone else yet, but I can’t think of anyone in their right
minds that won’t shit on this angle and finish. Ain’t it funny when it takes
something like this to bring the IWC together?  


Jeff Jarrett told Scott Hudson he doesn’t give a
damn who wins tonight’s Numba One Contender match between Brown and Hardy, he
instead wants to make sure that we are aware that Russo and Dusty are having
issues, which leads me to believe that Russo and Dusty are going to be involved
in the Brown/Hardy match somehow…oddly enough, it ended up worse than I

David Young vowed to leave wrestling if he
doesn’t win his match tonight against Referee Mike Posey, the 98lbs Weakling.
Disco, still dressed like a leprechaun, offers support, but Young gives him the
cold shoulder. For a low card angle, this is pretty fun…only because Young is
going out of his way to make the rest of these clowns look good. Swinger still
gets off on his "Island Girl" costume, for those of you keeping track.

Mike Tenay cuts a promo on Raven, saying he will
fight him to the death, but it will be "One Match Only" and then Raven
can stick a fork in this feud, it’s done. Over. Finite. Nom de Plume. Wow,
that’s Tenay has a set of balls, indeed. Of course, this is where things get
lost in translation – Tenay is actually speaking on behalf of Sabu,
who….doesn’t talk. You know what makes that freak start yapping like a
schizophrenic on Meth? Benoit breaking his f*cking neck. If you get the Benoit
DVD, watch how Sabu no-sells kayfabe and starts screaming and babbling like a
baby about his neck being broke. But not tonight…Tenay then introduces Raven,
who appears to be dressed like…

The Sheik! Raven has a garbage can with him and
"DIE SABU" written across his torso. Jerry Lynn he ain’t – you gots to
uze de BLOOD, Senor Levy. Raven didn’t bring his "A Game" promos this
evening, making this tough to listen to. His point is he hates Sabu and wants a
match NOW. More on this in the angle section. 

The Naturals put themselves over, which is still
rule number one when cutting a promo. I think. It’s a tough call with all the
nonsense you see nowadays. The use the logic of every dimwitted sports junkie in
the country – Since they beat AMW…and AMW beat XXX…that’s means The Naturals
are number one. I still don’t understand that logic; if A beats B and B beats C,
that means, by default, that A is better than C. College Football, in
particular, tries to apply that theory all the time and to me it makes less
sense than shoplifting a $3 phone adaptawr. Maybe it’s a sports thing – no one
believes that Vietnam, by default, is the de facto war power of the world. Do

"Irish" Pat Kenney continues to make
the best of his current situation, telling that Goombah Eye-Talian Big Vito that
next week they are having a "Luck of the Irish Weapons Match" and he
is going to get the braciole beat out of him. The following may or may not have
been intentional – Simon brought Trinity with him and had her by the nape of the
neck during the first part of the promo. When he let her go, she didn’t run –
but instead just stood there, almost in a lustful admiration, with a hint of
"glancing at Irish Pat’s package"…wonder if they are going anywhere
with that? Knowing TNA, she was probably just out of position. But putting them
together wouldn’t be a bad idea.

It’s time for Monty Brown and the guy is on a
roll. Jeff Hardy is the focal point of his bad mouthing, with Brown analogizing
Hardy should have stayed in Carolina riding his dirt bike and doing
loop-de-loops rather than getting all up in the King of The Jungle’s area. This
led to Brown yelling that it’s the "Carnivore Tour 2004"
<snnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffffffff> (ever wonder what Scott
Hudson smells like? I didn’t either until now)…and Brown proceeds to cuss
Raven, Jarrett, and The Canadian Truth Killings, until Truth shows up and * does
* get all up in the King of The Jungle’s area. Have I ever mentioned how great I
think Canadian Truth is, but despise him for having a moveset consisting nearly
entirely of lame ass breakdancing? I’m sure I have. Brown ain’t even trying to
hear that shit and bitch slaps him. Security breaks up the conflict. I’ll give
Monty Brown all the credit in the world – he has found a great gimmick and is
putting his all into it. That’s such a change from (insert name here) from
half-assing it. 

Shane and Kazarian pimp their match and promise
to have each other’s backs, no matter what. Uh oh – someone is going to get cute
booking with the X match tonight (Flea note later: I hate when I’m right about
this bullshit. No reason at ALL for that co-champ finish)   

Dusty and Russo are at each other’s throat, with
Russo continuing to use the "turn the other cheek" gimmick…the
things you learn in Seminary School. Online Seminary School. Speaking of
blasphemy, Dusty takes the Lord’s Name in Vain about 50 times in 30 seconds,
screaming about how his word is good in Texas but not in New York. Pretty ironic
he would say that, if you ask me. Long story short, Russo said * something * to
Dusty to get him all wound up and it appears to have something to do with Jeff
Hardy’s pending title shot against Jarrett. Quite frankly, who gives a rat’s


When last we left Raven, he was getting
tongue-tied over bitching about Sabu "hiding in the
shadows"…unfortunately, it came out as "hiding in the showers",
which may or may not have been a Freudian Slip. Ask Hi-8 – he’s the one that
alleges Raven is a butt pirate. Enough talking – as mentioned, Raven came to the
ring dressed like the Sheik and carrying a garbage can – his plan now is to BURN
the articles of clothing, to which I say " whoop-dee-do". Raven, after
thinking about it, comes to the same conclusion and proceeds to pull something
from underneath the ring. Lo and behold, it’s  BODYBAG, with said body
being Sonjay Dutt, apparently the victim of a vicious beatdown…he gets punched
again, stuffed in the garbage can and doused with GAS!!!…Raven’s about to go
all Jose Feliciano on him, when the lights go out…


Crowd doesn’t care. I mean, the crowd REALLY
doesn’t care. Not a peep. Certainly not a pop. The subsequent brawl does nothing
to help…man, that was just weird. If the exact promo and angle has happened in
Philly, the roof would have blown off the place. But not here…at least not
tonight. You think that would tell the writers something…like maybe all that
bullshit with mannequins and effigy burning, basically making the homicidal,
genocidal, suicidal Sabu look like a PUSSY turn the crowd three different shades
of apathetic. If it was Raven’s idea to make Sabu 3 dimensional, then he should
be ashamed. Sabu’s gimmick for years has been this – he is crazy and if you
ain’t careful, he’ll show up and drive a spike through your eye. Why would he
turn the other cheek? Yes, I know they have attempted to explain it, but it’s a
bad idea and has basically made Sabu look like a chump. Especially when he shows
up and the only sound you hear is Bob Ryder scribbling his suicide note.


Raven vs. Sabu

"Irish" Pat Kenney vs. Big Vito in a
Luck of the Irish Weapons Match

Team Canada vs. America’s Most Wanted – Country
Whipping Match

Russo and Dusty will possibly explain things


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FLEA is an Inside Pulse Original in every sense of the word, from his unique style and viewpoint. You can send any feedback to ryderfakin@yahoo.com, or just type it the comment box below. also but follow FLEA on Twitter @ryderfakin.