Slayer\'s Sports and Stuff

SLAYER’S SPORTS AND STUFF
Where am I?

It’s a strange and wondrous world this 411Mania, but at times it can be downright frightening and abnormal……

Man, this really is one wacky website, ain’t it?

Some of my last words at 411. More true then I ever wanted it to be. But that’s not where I am anymore. Where I am is in the middle of Rosalita, Baja, Mexico. I’m writing this column in a villa called Jilberto’s with an ostentatious pair of cheap sunglasses, an insulting tourist trap sombrero on my head and an even more obnoxious Marlboro 100 sticking out of my mouth. I also just had three fish tacos and two extra large mango strawberry margaritas. I’m now drunk as hell and personally, I don’t think the margaritas had anything to do with it. So while my body is in Mexico and my spirit lies trampled by the Mistress, my soul now belongs to Inside Pulse. My tour as a 411writer is now over and how I got from there to here is an intriguing story indeed. It’s not a happy one nor is it so depressing, but it is one of the most bizarre and twisted 24 hours I have ever spent here in ‘Computer Land.” Twisted enough anyway for me to share it with you. But first, let’s describe the setting.

I spent the last weekend of July trolling around a town known to the locals as San Diego. You may have heard of it as they have a baseball team. The place is like something out of a science fiction novel. Perfect weather everyday, beautiful women with an average breast size of DD, fun loving good-time guys, and everybody greets you with warmth and a smile. There are a few drawbacks though for those who permanently reside in this Western Utopia. The one major negation is that they all have developed a certain apathy to just about”¦everything. From the serious things such as global events and the state of our society to the not so serious but in some ways just as important things such as sports or art. No one seems to care about anything at all. And neither did I. While I have no use for this self inflicted ignorance in my life back home. For vacation, it is just what the doctor ordered. Baseball teams were making trades left and right, Michael Moore became America’s patriot for some and an enemy for others, and of course my hometown of New York was under alert for potential terrorism. And I didn’t care. I was on the west coast basking in the glory of hedonism and debauchery.

Then came Sunday night of August 1st.

On this evening, I had some time to kill so I decided to check on the 411 Staff Forums to see what was going on with the boyz. And to paraphrase my friend MM over at 411music, All Hell Broke Loose. Co-webmaster Widro announced that he was leaving to form his own site and those who were loyal to him were following. The problem was that though technically, there were two owners. Widro was the only boss most of us ever knew. The other issue was that those writers loyal to him happened to be the most popular writers on the site.

It was the definition of chaos folks. Every 411 writer was sending IMs to each other screaming ‘WTF’, as so many of us was just trying to make sense of all this. Writers were jumping from one ship to the next faster then one could think and it was almost impossible to grab a hold of the situation. Some just screamed, “I’m getting off this crazy roller coaster!” and dove off both ships right into the water. The situation seemed”¦.bad. Ashish though was as calm as can be though and simply asked everyone for ideas and input. He made it seem as if it was a blessing in disguise and 411 would be better then ever. I quickly pledged my allegiance to Ashish and told him I’d be a soldier. “Hell,” I thought to myself, “I’ll even write a”¦.wrestling column.” I was just going by my instinct for survival, as both a writer and for the site as a whole. Looking back though I feel I should have waited a bit to tell him that, at least 30 seconds. Because 30 seconds later something else happened. I’m not hyperbolizing either. It wasn’t 5 minutes or even a minute. It was around 30 seconds, when I got invited to join InsidePulse. Another instinct drove myself to immediately give my acceptance. The people I have been working with all had come over here, it seemed like a natural choice. Of course, this meant rescinding my statement to Ashish. I could have said nothing and he probably wouldn’t have noticed, but I do have an ethos to keep and did tell him of my plans. I felt like a tool.

The next day I went to the beach.
Was I starring at the deep blue Pacific Ocean contemplating the past, present, and future?
No.
Was I continuing my quest in trying to read everything Jack Kerouac, James Joyce, John Steinbeck, and Bill Wilson ever wrote?
No.
Was I making out with the mistress between the crashing waves and the seaweed?
No.
Was I even playing volleyball and making sandcastles while listening to Jimi Hendrix?
No.
Was I starring at the ground thinking all about this new website?
Yes.
My vacation was officially ruined.

I came back to the place I was staying feeling like a broken and defeated man. My OCD kicked in and I could not be the apathetic Californian I wanted to be. I spent the next few hours of my ‘vacation’ doing my little part in being a construction worker for the new site. Exchanging ideas, provoking conversation, etc. Within 24 hours, Inside Pulse had become my news home and 411 was now part of my past. Though I was only a writer a few months, I was a reader for a long time.

I have a feeling 411 is really going to blossom. There are a lot of talented writers who will finally get the shot to show what they can do. Unfortunately, most of the writers were overshadowed by the big names and it seemed no one noticed the ‘little names’ unless they had a pre-set cult from some frivolous message board. It’s not anyone’s fault. Just the way it is. Like many who visited 411, it was a website for my downtime at work or an alternative to the ‘mid-day slump’. Of course, these scenarios are limited and I just didn’t have the time to explore what seemed like an endless bandwidth of writing. I clicked on a couple of the big guys, wrestling gossip, and that was about it. It wasn’t until I became a writer that I realized the site was oozing with untapped potential and more importantly, desire. Now it’s their site. And their time to be noticed.

As for me, I’m here and will once again be anonymous due to the fact everyone will come here to click on the usual suspects.

Yeah”¦.

But 411sports did have a loyal fan base. I know this because you guys wrote to me J.
You guys deserve an explanation why the core moved to this site and I can’t speak for everyone, only myself. To put it bluntly, I had no reason to stay. Everyone I’ve worked with is here now here plus I finally get to do my little part in creating an entire sports zone from the ground up. There was just no way we could do that under the 411 banner. This was due to both the technical and theoretical aspects of 411which are really no one’s fault and again, just the way it was. But sadly, it was also because of the overall culture of the website that was creating a counter-productive atmosphere.

But now we are Inside Sports. As for myself, the guy with the lowest IQ and worst pen name on the internet? I will continue to bring you all the latest news and views in the world of sports as well as anything else that happens to be on my mind when I write the column. And all those things we wanted to do but couldn’t? We’re doing them. Inside Sports is going to become for lack of a better word”¦.cool.

As for everyone else on this site”¦

FUCK YOU! AND YOU! AND YOU! AND YEAH”¦. ESPECIALLY YOU! WHAT THE HELL? YOU COULDN’T WAIT ONE GOD DAM WEEK! WOULD HAVE IT KILLED YOU TO WAIT ONE WEEK. I’M ON VACATION HERE. YOU, KNOW VACATION”¦.WHEN YOU COME BACK HOME AND EVERYTHING IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SAME AND YOU GET DEPRESSED BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME??? BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU GUYS HAD TO CREATE ARMAGEDDON WHILE I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF MEXICO DRUNK AS A FUCKING MONKEY TRYING TO WRITE A COLUMN FOR THE LAUNCH BECAUSE I WANT TO DO MY PART TO HAVE IT BECOME SUCESSFUL!
GOD DAMMIT!!!!

Next up, Viva Las Vegas!