Live from Anaheim, Cali
Announcers are JR & The King
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for InsidePULSE by PK
Recap of Evolution turning on Orton.
Intro, Jericho vs. Edge for the IC tonight.
The Divas are coming down to the ring, with Coach, and Traci gets eliminated. Coach then gives the last five contestants 2 minutes to tell The Coach how great he really is. Coach then thinks it over, and says that 2 minutes may not be enough, so he will make it 5. ‘IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLL’ Yup, The Rock is here, and he makes his way down to the ring. All the girls seem to start panting. Rock gives Coach 5 seconds to get out of the ring, before he gives Coach an ass whipping, and Coach scampers away. Rock then fawns over the girls, and says that he knows they all think his is fine. He then says that they have a chance to have one of the best jobs ever. He then jokes that Lillian Garcia wasn’t always a Raw Diva, she had a full time job at the sperm clinic, but she got fired for drinking on the job. HA! Rock then singles out Carmella, and tells her that she has to step it up. So, they will have a pie eating contest, and Rock has his new friend Tajiri bring out some pies. All 5 girls then eat pie, with the stupid red head sitting on hers, and then Coach comes back out, with La Rez. Coach yells, and Conway and Greiner attack, and take out Tajiri and Rock. Rhyno comes out and saves the day with the GORE GORE GORE, and all 3 faces corner Coach. Coach gets a Spinebuster, and then the People’s Elbow.
Commercials.
KANE arrives with his, well, it appears to be his Tux.
In depth recap of last weeks Evolution turn.
HHH is getting taped up, and Flair and Batista come in. HHH asks if they delivered the papers. Flair said that he did, and he wonders if Randy will go through with it, and HHH says that he has to, because he doesn’t control his destiny anymore, Evo does. There is no mention as to what they were talking about.
Lita starting to get ready, and KANE comes in, and says that this wedding shows the purity of his child, and he wants Lita to wear at white dress, and gives one to her.
Jericho vs. Edge next.
Commercials.
Slam of the Week: Batista and Flair taking out Jericho, while Edge watches.
Edge (c) vs. Chris Jericho – WWE Intercontinental Title
Edge in red pants tights, with his new face logo in black on both legs.
Jericho is dark purple pants tights, with light blue and light purple ‘Highlight of the Night’ logos.
Chad Patton is the official.
Back and forth brawling to start. Edge sends Jericho off the ropes, Jericho catches the ropes, Edge charges, and Jericho pulls the rope down and Edge flies to the outside. Edge back on the apron, and Jericho hits a springboard dropkick.
Only 2 minutes in the match, and we have…
Commercials.
We come back and Edge is all over Jericho, but Jericho nails a spinning heel kick. Jericho comes off the middle turnbuckle with a double sledge, but Edge with a kick to the gut, followed by a huge DDT for 2. Edge then lines up for a spear, but Jericho dodges it, and Edge stops right before he hits the ref, and then turns around into Jericho, who grabs him, and goes to lock him in the Walls. Edge reverses it, and rolls up Jericho for the win, but Jericho’s leg is on the ropes, and the ref waves it off, while Edge celebrates. JR says they will figure it out after…
MORE COMMERCIALS.
We come back and the match is restarted, and Jericho is all over Edge, nailing a huge vertical suplex, then pounds away in the corner. Jericho with a running enzaguri, then does his sitting on the back, while he is in the position for the 619 move…Jericho with a bulldog, goes for the Lionsault, but Edge moves, and Jericho jams his knee. Edge fights back, nails the Edge-o-Matic for 2. Edge sends Jericho over the top, but Jericho holds on and lands on the apron, but Edge spears him off, and he slams into the retaining wall. Edge puts Jericho back in the ring, and goes to the top. Edge goes for Crossbody, but Jericho rolls through for 2. Jericho off the ropes, ducks under a boot from Edge, and then locks on The Walls. Edge pulls himself to the ropes, rather quickly, and Jericho breaks it. Jericho pounds on Edge’s back, and runs off the ropes, but Edge picks up Jericho and crotches him on the top rope. Ref calls for the bell, just as Edge nails the spear. Lillian announces that the ref has DQed Edge.
Winner via DQ – Edge
Edge is not happy, and says that his had him beat.
Evo makes their way to the ring.
Commercials.
Evolution comes down to the ring. HHH says that Randy Orton chose to be a success, by hanging around with Evolution, and all he had to do was soften up Benoit for HHH, instead Orton decided to win the match, and the title. HHH says that the title is his, everyone knows it, everyone but Randy Orton. HHH then says that last week as a warning. HHH then says Orton can come down, and hand over the title to HHH, and lay down for him, and Evolution will let Orton go free. This brings out Orton, who still has Evolutions music. Orton walks down to the ring, and HHH calls for a ref. HHH asks Orton to hand him the title belt. Orton goes to hand it to HHH, and HHH grabs it, but Orton does let go. HHH looks up at Orton, and Orton spits in his face. HHH then goes to charge Orton, but Orton drills him in the face with the belt.
Commercials.
Victoria complaining to Bischoff about Lita having to wed to KANE. HHH comes in and shoves Victoria aside, and complains to Bischoff about Orton, and Bischoff makes Orton vs. HHH for Unforgiven.
Regal and Eugene come down to the ring for Regal’s match with Flair.
Commercials.
WWE Rewind: Regal drilling Flair with the knucks at SummerSlam.
William Regal (w/ Eugene) vs. Ric Flair (w/ Batista)
Regal in his pansy singlet
Flair in all red
Jack Doan is the official.
Regal starts with some grapples on Flair, but Flair fights back with chops. They go back and forth, and Flair eventually tosses Regal to the outside. Regal turns the fight around, and back body drops Flair on the floor, as we head to…
Commercials.
Regal is all over Flair, as Batista and Eugene start scrapping, and Batista lays out Eugene. Benoit comes out to help, and both men get brass knucks, while the ref is busy with Batista and Benoit. They both go to punch each other, but Regal hits it first, and scores the pin.
Winner – Regal
The Wedding is next.
Commercials.
SmackDown Rebound:
Coach goes through the Diva Contestants again, and opens the voting.
Lita in the back in her gown, looking in the mirror, and she’s not happy, as she tosses a vase of flowers into the mirror.
The Ring is set up for the wedding, and KANE is walking towards the stage in his all white tux.
Commercials.
We come back, and a small orchestra band is playing, as a midget ring bearer and a midget flower girl walks down. The orchestra then plays their version of KANE’s theme song, as KANE makes his way down in his all white tux. ‘Here Comes The Bride’ starts, and Lita comes out in her…wait, a BLACK DRESS!! KANE is irate. The reverend starts, and says that a man has requested to speak, and it’s Bischoff. Bischoff then recites from the Bible. The Reverend then tells Lita that KANE as prepared a video of their relationship, and they play it to a song that goes ‘Your having my baby, what a great say to show that you love me.’ HAHAHA. KANE has written his own vows. He says that when he chose her to carry his seed, he never thought it would come to this. He says that she is now his property, and she will be until the day she dies. Lita’s vows basically says that she hates KANE, Loves Matt Hardy, and prays for a horrible accident to create KANE’s untimely death, and he rots in Hell. KANE says that was lovely. The reverend then goes right into the ending, and asks if anyone knows why these 2 should not be wedded in matrimony, or forever keep your peace. Trish comes out in a white nighty. Trish says that it is horrible that she doesn’t have a Maid of Honor, and she even wore white, because she knew that Lita couldn’t. Trish says that she knows Lita is scared about wedding KANE, but she has to remember to just open her heart, just like she open her legs. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lita then attacks Trish, and they roll around. KANE pulls Lita off Trish, and they go right into the ‘I Do’ part. Lita says I Do, but before KANE can, Matt Hardy’s music hits, and he jumps KANE from behind, sends him into the Steel Steps, then nails a Twist of Fate on the floor. Matt grabs Lita, and runs up the ramp, but there is a wall of fire that blocks them on the top of the ramp. KANE runs up the ramp and takes out Mattitude, then choke slams him off the stage. KANE drags Lita back to the ring, and they finish the I Do, and they are pronounced Husband and Wife, and KANE lays a wet one on her.
Show Over.
~PK
