The Daily Pulse 08.24.04

Well I don’t want to start off my column by calling Widro a faggot, but hey Widro is a FAGGOT. After telling me two weeks ago my Daily Pulse “day” would be a Friday, he then decides I should do Tuesdays….just two hours after I wrote, stating that Tuesdays would not be my regular days.

To make things worse, I wrote up a column last Monday night and send it to the boy, only for him to send me an e-mail Tuesday afternoon stating “No column?” then a gay little unhappy smiley face. Apparently I’m meant to use some “auto posting” system, and not e-mail him. Well thanks for TELLING ME about it, you mothersuckercockf*cker. Apparently I could find all about it in the “staff forum”. I tend to stay away from that place, because it’s usually just staff members coming up with dumb ideas…one person actually wanted to do a list of “Top ten women in ___” with the ___ being the zone. I’ll tell you who the top women are: WOMEN WHO GET THEIR TITS OUT. The others can go f*ck a duck, and flick a dick too while they’re at it.

Oh. Hi. I’m Scotsman, and I’ve got enough anguish and anger to start up a Livejournal. I’m apparently the Tuesday writer now, and am even using this stupid little auto posting system just to keep the people at the top happy. Apparently my last column didn’t go over too well with the brass, as I failed to plug any other articles, mention anything Inside Pulse related, and instead just tried to entertain the readers.

Don’t you wish you were back at 411?

No, I’m kidding. The key thing at InsidePulse at the moment is to entertain you wonderful readers, and Widro just suggested I advertise some other columns on the site in my Pulse columns for people too scared to venture outside the main page. I think it’s a fine idea, as I often find myself never venturing off the main page either, then when I do I get treated to some fine writing, like a certain Mr. Iain Burnside. Is he even with InsidePulse? I’ve glanced around but not seen anything. Oh well if he’s still at 411 no big loss…he sucked anyway. Each week I’ll fly around the wonderful site known as InsidePulse, pick out five columns at random, then list them and give my opinions on them….good or bad. That’ll be at the end of each column by the way, as no way I’m plugging other writers this early and having you all f*cking leave.

So what’s going on in the world today? Well Iraq are apparently kicking some serious ass in the Olympics at soccer, defeating Australia 1-0. Wow what a surprise…nuclear missiles and terrorists can beat up some f*cking kangaroos. Colour me shocked!

Apparently Oprah Winfrey was on jury duty last week. Well she’s black…she must be used to a courtroom. OOHHH COME ON! Don’t tell me you weren’t thinking it too.

In a delightful story from the UK(where else?), a woman who had an abortion went to the bathroom, only to discover that instead of depositing a big, steamy log, what actually came out was a head. The head of course, of her aborted foetus. What a wonderful tale. Actually what was even more funny about the story was her telling her husband “Hey, come on in and look what I left in the toilet.” That’s one brave f*cking husband. This beats the Mae Young pregnancy hands down.

HA. Hands.

Also from the UK because the Daily Record and The Sun are all I pretty much read these days, police were called to a house in Glasgow, when a worried citizen discovered a FINGER in his back garden…and it appeared to be quite fresh. Police started checking the neighbourhood, convinced that a horrible murder had taken place. They happened to knock at the door of one old man, and asked if they knew anything about a finger in his neighbours backyard. He didn’t bat an eyelid as he said “Yes, that’s mine.” Apparently he was using a table saw, slashed his finger right off and it flew 100ft into a back garden. Yet another reason why I let my fiancee do all the woodwork around the house.

Lately I’ve been playing online poker. I used to be a big card player back in the day, however I always hated the pressure of trying to hide your true emotions. There’s nothing worse than holding a pair of aces, then seeing two more aces come up in the flop, and not being able to jump around like a little girl, screaming “I GOT YOU I GOT YOU NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA”.

I got banned from two casino’s for doing that.

However I recently discovered the fun of online poker, where I have the time to assess all the other players, make little notes about who’s bluffing and who’s not, concentrate on having a hand with the maximum potential for winning AND be able to do the aforementioned screaming like a little girl when I get pocket kings. If anyone out there has been interested in playing online poker but have been wary of it, I’d recommend RoyalVegasPoker.com. I’ve been playing there about two months now, and there’s a good amount of players…plus a lot of sad, addicted people meaning as long as you keep notes, you can play against the same fools night after night and get some serious cash. I’ve been receiving cheques fine, and they currently have a deal where you get 100% of what you put down….so if you deposit $50, they’ll GIVE you fifty f*cking bucks. When I signed up it was only 40%. Assholes. If you DO sign up!
, send me your username and maybe we can play(oohh kinky). My username is Scotsman71, and hey when signing up use me as a referral, because I get $50 too.

Hey, you think I’d type all that up just for the goodness of my heart?

while looking through InsidePulse today, I saw that some jerk in games posted a press release stating that…actually I’m not even sure. On first read I thought it meant that the Fifa games will only be released on the X-Box, but on second read it appears that they’re just going to be doing some tournament. Regardless, I’ll still go on a rant. If you ever want to see a bad series of games, check out the Fifa series. They can’t settle on any features, always messing with the match engine and ruining what could be a fine game. I remember in Fifa 2002, they introduced one-twos. Just do a pass with the right-analog stick, and then run into space and the player would pass it back to you. It was awesome…so of course, the f*ckers took it out. Then we had Fifa 2004, an excellent game, with one of the best features being that you could score free kicks! Yes, after years of trying, finally!
they had implemented an excellent set-piece set up so that you could score some great curling free kicks, hammering it right in off the post. It was the perfect game….

…then out came Euro 2004.

This is the type of game that you look at and say “Wow, talk about rushed.” Of course if you say that then you’re an idiot, because “rushed” is an understatement. We have free kicks that are now impossible to score…corners which don’t go the way you want them…players running directions you don’t want them to….hey, want to kick the ball to the left, to the man on the wing in free space? Well unfortunately, the AI thinks you should instead kick it up centre, where there’s three defenders standing waiting. Oh wonderful! I won’t even get into the commentators, however I will mention the wonderful “feature” called substitutions. Do just ONE substitution, and suddenly you’ll find your striker is on left wing, your central defender is in midfield, and sometimes players you didn’t even pick are on the park.

Oh how I wish Pro Evolution had the licence.

However, and in a very nice segueway, TALKING OF GAMES THAT ARE BUG-RIDDEN TO ALL HELL, let’s talk about a wonderful game called LEGENDS OF WRESTLING: SHOWDOWN.

Well, after playing Legends of Wrestling: Showdown for the best part of a month, I think it’s safe to say…

It really f*cking sucks.

Hi, I’m Scotsman and I review wrestling video games. Well, “review” is perhaps not too strong a comment; “dissect and destroy” sounds more like something I do. Out of all the articles I’ve written over the years, I still get the most fun out of ripping apart wrestling video games. There’s nothing better than taking a game which is hyped up as “the best game yet” and showing it for what it really is: 100% crap. While I usually focused on older games just so I could ruin some precious childhood memories, there was nothing better than doing the only thing which would get me hate mail; ripping apart the current crop of games. There’s nothing more pitiful than a wrestling video game mark, who spends all his time on the Gamefaqs message board tossing about rumours about how great this game is, watching every video, every screenshot, and proudly proclaiming that this is going to be the finest wrestling video game ever, even better than the overhyped No Mercy.

And now I get to do it again.

You see, there was someone out there who was into the third game in the Legends of Wrestling franchise, Showdown. All he did was look at the screenshots, read Gamefaqs for all the information and get hyped up to the point of no return, no doubt lining up at the very first moment so he could purchase this game, because god forbid if anyone else gets to own it 2 or 3 minutes before him! So now, I take that person to task, as I tell him how bad Legends of Wrestling: Showdown is.

That person is of course…..

ME.

Can you believe it? I actually became the type of person I most despise; someone who salivates over all the hype for a wrestling video game, and actually buys into it to the point where I was going around saying “THIS is the game you want to get”, even though I hadn’t even played the damn thing. Hell, I didn’t even know too much about it, bar some screenshots, yet on it’s day of release, with my review copy requests to Acclaim going unanswered, I headed into Electronic Boutiques dreaming of the classic Summerslam ’92 re-match I was about to re-create, between Bret Hart and Mr. Perfect.

Oh boy, I’m an idiot.

The Good:


  • The Roster. When the game was hyped, you never heard about the control system, or the various matches, or the storyline mode. No, instead you heard about the roster. “What match types will there be Acclaim?” Oh there will be matches where you can play as Mr. Perfect! Or Hulk Hogan! Or the Ultimate Warrior! “How’s the control system Acclaim?”. Oh you’ll love it! You can control Jeff Jarrett, Scott Steiner or even Eddie Guerrero! “That’s wonderful Acclaim. Can I get a review copy please?”. Oh sure you can get a review copy! You just have to have the same name as Randy Savage, Andre The Giant or Brian Pillman, all of whom you can control in this game! With or without a review copy! Thankfully for them, the roster delivers in an excellent fashion with lots of wrestlers to choose from, giving a lot of variety in that sense.

  • The Graphics. They’ve changed their graphics, and the whole “feel” of the game this time around, and it works quite spectacularly. It gives a different feel from all the other wrestling games on the market, and reminds me of slightly of the old WWE Arcade Games. I also found the graphics the kind that make it entertaining just to sit back and watch a match, which is a big plus.
  • The Bad:


  • The Graphics. What, I already mentioned them? Well unfortunately there are also problems with them. First of all, there is no ability to edit the camera’s zoom even slightly, making it very hard to do moves especially when there’s four people in the ring at once, and you can barely see anything. It can be very frustrating.

  • The Matches. An average selection of match types to choose from, including cage, first blood and table. Unfortunately they’re full of glitches, including putting someone on a table, him magically falling off, then magically reappearing on the table again. Hardcore matches are especially fun. Remember in Reservoir Dogs when Mr. Pink is being chased from the cops, and is at the car with his bag on the ground in one scene, then when they cut back the bag has just disappeared? Well Acclaim have included that fun feature in this game, meaning that even if there’s a weapon right in front of you on the ground….

    Literally one second later…

    Yeah. It’s disappeared. Much like I wish this game would from my gaming collection.

  • The Commentators: Some parts of them are good, some parts of them are really f*cking ugly, so we’ll play it fair and stick them in the bad. They’re probably the best commentators yet in a wrestling video game(oh boy Tom Talkers gonna be pissed), but that isn’t really saying much is it? They’ll play off each other sometimes, while other times they’ll just get so repetitive that you’ll want to shoot yourself. “Fisherman suplex by………..Bret Hart. Suplex by………Bret Hart. Suplex, Bret Hart!”, and they’ll also randomly yell out a wrestlers catchphrase….always at the wrong time. Just as I was putting Bret Hart in the perfect plex to end the match, all you hear is “THE BEST THERE IS, THE BEST THERE WAS…”. Okay, can it assholes.
  • The So Ugly, Your Grandmothers Pay For It:


  • The camera. I briefly talked about the annoying camera in The Bad, however it falls into this category too. Just as one example, I set up a table outside the ring, then go to get Jerry Sags who is stunned and primed to go crashing through the table….

    …and the camera decides it should then zoom into the table itself:

    And it proceeds to SIT LIKE THAT until one of you manage to figure out what direction you’re going, and run off just so you can get the camera’s attention. It’s so frustrating that I’ll take good ol Granny Alice, with the one eye, and proceed to smash her in the face with the in-game camera until she can see out of two eyes. And as she only has the one, I think she’s in for one HELL of a beating. I understand that beta testers have a lot of work to do, but considering I came across this bug within literally three minutes of playing, I think that’s pretty damn bad. I won’t even get into their “cool Matrix style feature”, which sees the action slow down to a halt….then speed up again. Oh whoo…so cool and hip!

  • Collision Detection. If you play this game while at the peak of an acid trip, then you will have no problems with collision detection. Unfortunately I, and probably the majority of people don’t, and because of that I’ve had to cram 800 tabs of acid down Granny Murphy’s throat, then pushed her off the Empire State Building.

  • Create A Legend. Very, very poor. There’s a very poor selection to choose from, and you can’t even change the colours of the wrestlers clothes! If they’ve edited it so that you can change a wrestlers hair colour, then they can edit it so you can change their f*cking clothes! Also if you accidently give a bald wrestler hair, you have to sift through three menus just to get rid of it. Not a lot of moves to choose from, and what’s there isn’t even organized. Also trying to go through the move lists and see what each move actually is can be quite a pain considering the ANIMATION FUCKS UP and the wrestler starts doing the move partly off screen, onto an invisible person.

  • The storyline mode. I don’t think I’ve seen a storyline mode this bad since…well, since the last Legends of Wrestling game. It reminds me of the old fighting games of the 90’s, especially Saturday Night Slam Masters, in that before and after every match your foe either “talks”(via text coming up on the screen) shit to you, or then bows down to your superiority. I know the game features many wrestlers pre-2004, but give me a f*cking break here, and move onto the next century already. The storyline mode is one of the most horrendous I have ever seen. Here’s how it plays out. HI! It’s 1970! You have to fight a bunch of matches for no reason, so you can become the champion of the decade! HI! It’s now 1980! What’s that? You’re the champion of the decade? Well we’re just going to forget that, and you can start from scratch in 1980! HI! I’m 1990! What’s that? You’re wondering if it’s the exact shame shit? Well of course it is! We didn’t design a storyline mode….we just did some dumb setup, so it appears that way. But did you know that Koko B. Ware is in the game? And Jimmy Snuka! JIMMY SNUKA! Well I hate to disturb Granny Betty, who is stricken with cancer and spends all her time sleeping in her bed, but I’m going to have to wake her up, take out a hammer and…oh f*ck it, I’ll make her go through this storyline mode. Nothing could be worse than that.

  • Edit A Legend. Hyped even in the instruction manual…and not even in the game. Oh what’s that? You can “Clone” a legend, then edit that clone? I’d tell you to go f*ck yourself, but I’m too busy sticking some dynamite up Granny Jane’s wrinkly old vagina, and setting it on fire.

  • The Classic Matches: A complete letdown. Ever play Giant Gram 2000? They feature classic matches, and you have to relive them, doing certain moves during the actual match, as they were actually done. It’s a f*ckload of fun, and one of the best modes in a wrestling game I’ve ever seen. LOW promised something like this, but instead their “Classic Matches” is much like their “Storyline mode”; a separate menu option to play a wrestling match, rather than go through the exhibition mode. As a brief example, your “reliving” the Bret Hart/Roddy Piper classic sees you take control of Bret Hart, with both your energy down low, and you have to win. Whooo…big deal. What an exciting and incredible feature, and I can see a whole ton of work must have gone into it! I mean, couldn’t they have sat down for just a minute, and realized that being able to take control of the Warrior during his WM 7 match with Savage, and have to make a comeback using the moves he did thirteen years ago would have been a great feature? Oh but wait the roster features Steve Williams! And Nasty Boy Jerry Sags! Isn’t that all you guys need??? Poor Granny Brenda, as she gets to do some reliving of her own, by watching Zach Gowan’s whole WWE tenure all at once. And hey,
    would you believe it actually fits on a 30 minute tape?

    Nasty Boy Jerry Sags. HA. Yeah that’ll sell a video game.

  • Training Mode: Ever played a training mode in any other games? Usually it’s where you practise all the moves that you can do in the game, right? Yeah, not in this one! In yet another great idea, you now get to hear Bret Hart slurring his words to video footage of how to do certain moves. Just for that, the next time I see Granny Helen I will be making her re-enact Owen Hart’s greatest moment in wrestling….and I really don’t have to tell you what that was, do I?

  • Weight Detection: One minute I don’t have the strength to bodyslam Jerry Sags, the next minute I can tombstone Andre The Giant with ease. Yeah…good job there guys.

  • The Gameplay: Jesus christ the control system is bad. It’s one of those things which you really have to play to understand…although I don’t recommend that, so I’ll try to give a good description. Have you ever sat there at a game, and thought “Hey I don’t need to put any thought into this? I can just bash random buttons and shit happens!”? I’m sure you all have…well with this, that’s pretty much ALL YOU CAN DO! You just have to bash buttons and hope for the best, as the concept of strategy goes out the window. It’s very unresponsive too, as you could push UP to go near an opponent, then X to kick him, but as you hit UP about twenty seconds prior, it’ll send you flying up with a dropkick which odds are, will go through his face….but he’ll just stand there as if nothing happened. Then there’s the whole “opponent stunned” meter which is possibly the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen….and that includes Vins red sweater. Just as an example, as Ultimate Warrior I proceeded to smash Ted Dibiase with a ladder fifteen times…and he wasn’t stunned once. Then I drop the ladder, walk close to him, he swings a punch at me…and bang, I’m stunned for five seconds. Plus it has the usual “Eddie Guerrero moves as fast as Andre The Giant” stuff which not only kill the realism, but force you to hunt down cute little kittens, and stick them in a blender…which co-incidentally is what I did to Granny Brown. Pour on some Paprika, and she doesn’t taste that bad.

  • The Bugs: This game has so many bugs, they should just rename it Legends of INSECTS. Oh f*ck you, if Leno made the joke you’d laugh. The gameplay itself is absolutely horrid, with wrestlers getting magically teleported outside the ring during a move…yet he still does the whole animation of it, while the wrestler in the ring 5 feet away acts like he’s still getting DDT’d.
  • And while the main bragging point about the game is it’s roster, something I did write positively about above, should you really be bragging about it

    when the roster features the likes of:

    Koko B. Ware

    “Cancer” Jim Duggan

    Hehehe. Cancer.

    The Flying Jalapeno himself, Tito Santana…

    And the creme de la crop….Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart

    …wearing a f*cking Superman costume.

    Thank you Acclaim, for catching me off my guard and getting me hyped up, only to produce a vomit-inducing game with enough bugs to fit an alpha version.

    Let’s hope this series dies a quick death….much like the majority of it’s roster.

    Of course, I’m sure quite a few of you out there only clicked this column for one thing…the finale of Teamwhiskers. If you missed out, then read my previous column where I went into great detail on this wonderful, yet completely retarded feud. Well when I last left you, things were heating up. They were threatening me with blackmail, and I was responding with much laughter and glee, as they incriminate themselves further and further. Well on Thursday things got quite a bit more interesting, as Teamwhiskers did something I’d never expect them to do….

    They closed their site.

    They closed their site.

    They closed their site.

    They deleted everything off their website, and then the next day posted this message:

    [We are upgrading our site]

    Can you believe that? Let’s put this in perspective okay? There is a lot of tragedy going on in the world…..people starving and homeless….wars going on…people getting killed senselessly…Vin’s current style. That’s some major shit, okay? Then we have a bunch of 40 year old men, who like to do some catfishing. They even have a boat, entitled “Teamwhiskers”. So one day they’re browsing the web, and come across some minor little website, which six months ago ran a “Survivor” style tournament with it’s forum members. One of the teams in this tournament was entitled “Team Whiskers”. So they look at that, and say “HEY, THIS IS SLANDEROUS, AND IS GIVING US A BAD REPUTATION.” I know, it’s hard to imagine something like that but put yourself in the mind of a child with downs syndrome, who’s just hit himself in the face with a frying pan one too many times, and you’re probably close to the intelligence level of these people. So then they decide “Lets write this guy, and lie about having a trademark on that name, whine about how offensive his site is, and make him ___”. I’ve left that blank space there, because I don’t even know what their goal was. To take off all reference to “Team Whiskers”? Make me pay them money? The only conclusion I can come to is that the blank stands for “make us look stupid”, but surely that wasn’t their goal from the start.


    So they fire off their little e-mail, and they don’t get the response they want. Instead they get e-mails back from a Detective Hamrick, rambling on about how their mothers started the aids virus. They try and step up the heat using blackmail, and that doesn’t work. So they then decide to….close their site. Everything they worked hard for….all the pictures they took…the hours they spent on web design, advertising their site on message boards…..

    All gone.

    Because of me.

    I find that so sad. They bluffed, I called their bluff….that’s it. Lets move on. So they got mocked, and lost a feud on the internet. Big f*cking deal. The same thing happened to Jay Bower, and did you see him running off? No, he learned from it, and moved on, becoming a better person because of it. Yet these sad little people, actually decide to CLOSE THEIR FUCKING WEBSITE.

    I still find it hard to believe.

    They don’t realize that threats like theirs just don’t matter. Seriously, what is the worst thing that could happen? I guess they could jump in their boat, and paddle up this way, and then proceed to beat me down with some freshly caught Catfish…but they’d have to get past Detective Hamrick first, who is trained in Tae Kwon Do, Karate and Riverdancing. All jokes aside, I guess the worst that could actually happen is they’d file a lawsuit…for what, I don’t know, but then it doesn’t take much to file a f*cking lawsuit these days. And you know what I’d do if the filed a lawsuit?

    I’d laugh…and laugh…and laugh….and probably laugh some more. You know what else I’d do…apart from all the laughing that is? I’d…
    <

    …uh…TOUCH A STAIRCASE! YES THATS WHAT I’D DO! I’D LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH WHILE TOUCHING A STAIRCASE! AHAHAHH *touch* AHAHAHHA *touch*.
    <
    Ahem.

    For some reason, people actually think a lawsuit is scary. OMG OH NOS THEY ARE GONNA TAKE ME TO COURT, LIFE IS OVAH! Do they actually think a lawsuit would make me give in? Hell, I’d even let Detective Hamrick write my Statement of Defence after snorting a pound of spaghetti…that’s how much a lawsuit would scare me. Do you know how fun it would be, to go to court over something this retarded? I’d turn it into a party, and invite all the Scotsmanality people up….except Stixx, obviously. I’d go to court with my Review WCW Thunder t-shirt on, and ask inane questions like “Have you ever eaten a semen burrito?”. “No? WELL THIS IS SCANDALOUS!! JUDGE, I DEMAND A RECOUNT!!!” then throw my paperwork on the ground, screaming about how much I hate Wal*mart over and over. And you know the sad thing? I’D WIN!

    At this point, I want to plead to the people involved in Teamwhiskers….please, don’t let this feud get to you. So things didn’t work out the way you wanted…don’t give up. Honestly, no-one cares about this shit, so please don’t close your f*cking website over it. It’s so retarded. I’m sure you guys have had a lot of fun with your website….I’d hate to close Scotsmanality, and yet I know how insignificant and pointless it actually is. You guys probably think your website is the world, and so it hurts so much more. Seriously, DON’T LET PEOPLE LIKE ME GET TO YOU. Just because I didn’t back down and give in, is no reason for you to give in and close your f*cking website.

    Oh yes Teamwhiskers, please remember one more thing….

    You’ll never ever beat the Scotsman.

    AHAHHAHA *touch*

    And we’ll end this column with an INSIDEPULSE EXCLUSIVE(OMG), as Detective Hamrick sent me the very last correspondence between Teamwhiskers, and Team Knucklef*ckers(that’s us — last time I let Hamrick choose a name), which they didn’t even reply to:

    From: jamesthamrick@gdwebmedia.com
    To: teamwhiskers@earthlink.net
    Subject: Re: Team Whiskers Copyright.

    Hello,

    I wonder if you could help me out. You see, earlier this evening I was busy attempting to light my barbecue. Unfortunately, I don’t actually have a barbecue….and accidently set my pants on fire instead. I extinguished the flames(thank god), however I accidently extinguished them with the e-mail that you had sent blackmailing my client. Would it be possible for you to forward that to me, to assist in this legal battle?

    Thanks,

    James T. Hamrick

    What a guy.

    OH YES! PLUGS! PLUGS! CAN’T FORGET OUR PLUGS! Well I refuse to just go around the site and pick out a few articles and just link them…really, you f*ckers can go searching for yourself. However as I mentioned above, I’ll pick up five articles each week, one from each zone, briefly comment on them(good or bad), then let you decide whether or not you wish to view them.

    [1] Games – WWE Smackdown vs RAW Preview: I’ve actually heard quite a bit more news on the game than is actually mentioned here, however there’s some nice screenshots. The game is going to be…interesting to say the least. I hope that if they DO go online, they still focus on the offline play, as the one thing the Smackdown series has been lacking is a good motherf*cking storyline mode. I want something that actually VARIES so that when I play it each time I see something a LITTLE different, other than Jerry Lawler wanting me to start a tag team each f*cking month, and if I choose not to then I don’t get any TV time.

    [2] Sports – Orgasms: Okay, so that’s not exactly the name of the article, however that IS what Will Cooling brings me to by talking about FOOTBALL. If you’re a football fan and would like to write regularly for InsidePulse, contact me because we need MORE FUCKING FOOTBALL FANS here, and I’ll see what I can do. Fenians need not apply.

    [3]Comics – Transformers: Generation One #7 Preview – The Insecticons are Here: So let me just be up front…I have no idea what that subject actually means. I remember Transformers from my childhood, and that’s pretty much it. The only comics I know these days are the old Archie comics I punk from the Salvation Army. However I saw the name of good ol’ Iain Burnside and decided I HAD to link it, because I love him so much. Then I went and read the f*cking thing, and it just seems to be a news post. But oh well.

    [4] Music – More reasons why being deaf sucks/rocks: One thing I don’t like to do is read about music, and the few times I glanced at 411music I almost puked…but that was probably because I was reading Evocator. I clicked this one for the fancy title, and ended up highly impressed…this is a must read if only for the story about the Eric Clapton song. Erhardt can tell a story, even if he does say the word “wack”.

    [5] Wrestling – Heroes & Villians: The Golem: Whoa. This Goforth guy is really good. I didn’t like the Stabbing Issues stuff, but his writing about Goldberg is almost Meltzer-worthy. Yet another guy whose archives I’ll be throwing on my PDA, for those twenty minute morning poo’s I like to have.

    God bless bran.