WWE Jukebox Report: August 2004

As you may or may not know, WWE finally found its way into Video On Demand by launching the WWE Match Jukebox. The idea here is that they choose 20 matches from the past, that occurred in the current month. You have 2 options.

For $1.49, you can choose to watch a single match of your choice. Or, the much more economical choice is to pay $3.95 and get all 20 matches for the course of the month.

I couldn’t resist. The matches ranged from each of the Big 3, and carried stuff from all sorts of different eras. And when 50% of the material advertised is NEW to someone who’s seen a lot of wrestling, I’m sold.

THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. SPIKE DUDLEY and BALLS MAHONEY (for the ECW world tag-team titles)
August 26, 1999

WWE Preview: Before coming to WWE, the Dudleys were ECW mainstays. In fact, their extreme action in the ring is what helped ECW develop such a strong cult following. In this match, the Dudleys challenge Spike and Mahony for the ECW Tag Team Championship.

All four men immediately erupt into a world of brawling — and Balls gets to hammering on D-Von to a loud “BALLS, BALLS, BALLS” chant. Spike dumps Bubba and then gets tossed onto him thanks to a gorilla press via his partner. Back in, Spike goes for an Acid Drop which is blocked, but a bulldog isn’t. Bubba recovers, and nails the Bubba Bomb! Outside they go, where Spike sits on Bubba’s shoulders and hammers away on his half-brother, but Bubba throws him head first to the guardrail — splitting the runt of the litter wide open. Gertner: “Luckily it was right on Spike’s head where it will do no damage!” Inside the ring, the Dudleys take over while Joey suggests that if they win the belts back, they could conceivably show up on Monday Night RAW with the ECW tag-team title belts! Spike crotches Bubba on the top rope, goes for a rana, but Bubba recovers and hits a sitdown top rope Bubba Bomb! And they head to commercial”¦

Upon return, Spike is in the midst of nailing an Acid Drop on Bubba while Balls hits the Nutcracker Suite on D-Von, both guys getting 2 counts! Spike goes for a second Acid Drop, but Bubba launches him through a table on the outside. Balls grabs a chair, and gives a shot to each Dudley. Balls grabs and sets up a table, and brings in thumbtacks, sprinkling them on the table for fun. D-Von smartly grabs a chair and hammers Balls — before helping Bubba powerbomb him through the thumbtacked table! Spike breaks up a potential pinfall at 2 — but a 3-D on Spike seconds later is enough, and the Dudleys win the match and the titles for an 8th (and final) time at 5:21! *1/2 This was just a typical short ECW brawl. Not shown is the return of Raven, who alongside Tommy Dreamer would win the titles from the new champions just minutes later.

ROB VAN DAM (with Bill Alphonzo) vs. RHINO (for the ECW television title)
August 18, 2000

WWE Preview: Currently, Rob Van Dam and Rhyno compete on different rosters. Early in their career, however, they put life and limb on the line to create a name for themselves in ECW. This match, of course, was no different, as both men gave their all for the ECW Television Championship.

The buildup to this match was pretty simple. RVD held the TV Title for about 2 years, until a broken ankle forced him to be stripped of it. Super Crazy won the belt, promptly losing it to Tajiri. When Tajiri refused to hand it over to The Network, The Network (led by Cyrus and Rhino) opted to take it from him — and mauled Tajiri to win the title. RVD returned, and decided to take back what was rightfully his. Boom, insta-match. We open with Rhino whipping RVD into the guardrail, while Styles screams about this having something to do with Van Dam’s entrance pissing the Manbeast off. Rhino whips him into the other guardrail, but Van Dam fights him off with a kick. Leap to the guardrail”¦Rhino shoves him off — and deep into the crowd where they brawl. Fonzie of course is blowing his whistle while they fight. Rhino hammers him down with a series of forearms to the back while the fans chant for RVD. Finding any props possible, Rhino sends Van Dam face first to a chair, some steel railings, and then whips him into the guardrail again. At ringside, Rhino positions RVD in a chair by the guardrail, and then”¦GORE!!!! Back in, Rhino busts out a wicked powerbomb, and press slams him on his face. RVD finally has enough, and goes for the enzuigiri, but misses. Rhino tries a kick, which is blocked, and Van Dam nails the step-over spinkick! Momentum change! RVD hits an inverted atomic drop, and with Rhino seated in the corner, does a running dropkick with a chair to the face! Rolling Thunder with the chair, point to self, and the fans are alive! Rolling fireman’s carry is followed by a second rope moonsault in one fluid motion! Rhino staggers to his feet — catches a chair that comes flying at him from Bill Alphonzo”¦just in time to take a Van Daminator! Five Star Frogsplash connects”¦and HEADBANGER JUSTIN hits the ring! Justin Credible and Rhino stomp away on RVD, and Alphonzo calls for a DQ at 6:43. *3/4 KID KASH, neck injury and all tries to save Van Dam. Rhino beats him down and hits a spike piledriver! Finally, THE SANDMAN is enough to clear the ring of the heels by caning everyone in sight, and our segment ends!

CACTUS JACK and MIKEY WHIPWRECK vs. PUBLIC ENEMY (for the ECW world tag-team titles)
August 27, 1994

WWE Preview: There is no more extreme Superstar than Mick Foley. Here, Foley (competing under the name Cactus Jack) and his tag team partner Mikey Whipwreck challenge Public Enemy for the ECW Tag Team Championship.

Rocco Rock says a bunch of heelish stuff — but I can’t hear it over Joey Styles’ incessant rambling, so whatever. Whipwreck attempts to bail, in order to, you know, save his own life and stuff”¦ However, Cactus throws him back in to face Rock. Whipwreck’s opening move is to turn around and beg Cactus to do all the wrestling”¦and tags out. As soon as he does, he bails towards the dressing room. Public Enemy smartly double team Cactus, and Whipwreck’s now nowhere to be seen. The two stomp away on Jack, but suddenly Mikey returns!!! And he’s armed!!! With a slat of CARDBOARD! Mikey cleans house, and gives us a “BANG BANG!” The fans give him a standing ovation, as he makes his way back to his favorite spot; the corner, awaiting a tag that hopefully never comes. Rocco enters and drives his shoulder into Cactus’ midsection repeatedly, so Cactus tags out and throws Mikey into Rocco. He follows that by using Mikey as a battering ram, and takes Rocco out himself with a Cactus clothesline. Back in the ring, Mikey hits Grunge with a dropkick! Joey is beside himself with all the offense from Mikey! Cactus nails Grunge outside the ring with a neckbreaker and plants Rocco with a chair. Mikey throws Grunge face first into the guardrail, and rolls him in. “Mikey stalking Johnny Grunge”¦did I just say that???” Grunge comes back with a DDT, does the Cabbage Patch, and delivers a short arm clothesline. Standing vertical suplex hits the mark — and Grunge gets a 2. Rocco comes in with a lousy legdrop — but Mikey again kicks out. Grunge figures to end it with a spike piledriver, but Mikey is relentless and keeps kicking out. PE gets tired of these games, and Rocco hits a legdrop off the top which should end things”¦but Mikey kicks out again! Cactus comes in to clear the guys from the ring, and winds up getting chaired out in the crowd. Cactus grabs a nearby injured fan, and steals his crutch to smack around the PE. Grunge returns the fire with some right hands. Rocco comes flying back into the picture off some scaffolding with a crossbody on Cactus! Back in, Rocco gets the table, and the Enemy set it up. Cactus is rolled into place, and takes a moonsault from Rocco through the table. With Cactus taken out of the picture, they go for the Driveby on the still fallen Mikey — but Cactus delivers his last ounce of strength to collapse into the ropes, knocking Rocco clear off the top. Mikey sees his chance, rolls up Rocco, and gets the 3 at 14:02 to capture the tag-team titles!!! *1/4 The fans go nuts, but no one’s more rabid than Joey Styles — likening this moment to one of the all time great upsets. This isn’t quite the same some 9 years later.

ROB VAN DAM vs. JEFF HARDY (to determine the #1 contender to the Intercontinental title)
August 12, 2002

WWE Preview: Both Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy are known as high fliers. In this match, they show how they got this reputation. Watch as RVD and Hardy battle for the right to take on Chris Benoit for the Intercontinental Championship.

Match starts right away, and Jeff gets an early 2 count by dropping his legs on RVD’s legs in a pinning predicament. RVD catapults Jeff into the corner, and a springboard dropkick gets 2. Rob tries an enzuigiri, which misses — but Jeff’s doesn’t. Outside they go, and Jeff decides to run the rail, but RVD trips him up. Jeff takes a hotshot onto the rail, and Van Dam nails him with a spinning heel kick off the apron to the security wall. Back in, RVD hits a top rope single leg drop kick, and follows with Rolling Thunder for 2. Van Dam applies a figure four headscissors, but Hardy fights out and hits Whisper In The Wind out of NOWHERE for 2. He nails a NASTY DDT that appears to kill Van Dam, but gets crotched up top when RVD gets up too quick. They fight up top, and Van Dam falls backwards onto the ref, knocking him out. Swanton Bomb MISSES — and next thing you know MATT HARDY‘s in the ring. He grabs Jeff and hits the Twist Of Fate — which in turn kicked off the era of Mattitude on Smackdown! RVD hits the Five Star Frogsplash and gets the title shot at 4:56. **

BROCK LESNAR (with Paul Heyman) vs. HULK HOGAN (to determine the #1 contender to the WWE title)
August 8, 2002

WWE Preview: Two former WWE Champions collide in a bloody battle, as Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) goes one on one with The Immortal Hulk Hogan.

You can find this one on the SummerSlam 2002 DVD as an extra if I’m not mistaken, but I don’t recall ever actually having watched this match as it happened, or on the DVD itself. I have seen the highlights about 10,000 times though. Story goes Lesnar was the hot young rookie, having disposed of everyone in his path en route to a WWE title shot at SummerSlam. However, he ran his mouth and put up the title shot against anyone who wanted one”¦and well, who ELSE would be the first one bursting out the door when the belt’s on the line but the Goblin himself? The match starts with a staredown between the very legitimate past and future. After a minute, they lock up — and break, nothing having happened. A second lock up sees Hogan launched backwards, and upon sitting up displaying a little fear. Lesnar stomps away at the back and slams Hogan — but makes the idiot mistake of posing. Hogan Hulks up, and starts laying in the rights. Brock tries a blind charge, but Hogan sidesteps and Lesnar nails the buckle. Hogan drops Lesnar, tries a cover”¦but only gets a 2. After some cheating from Our Hero (including an eye rake), Lesnar is disposed via clothesline over the top. Heyman distracts the referee — and now Lesnar outsmarts Hogan by yanking him by the legs and driving his shrunken nutsack to the ring post over and over and over and over! Back in, Lesnar drops and elbow and then powers Hogan back to the corner with shoulderblocks. Without a walker in sight, Hogan tumbles to the mat. They head outside, and Lesnar starts ripping apart the announce table”¦allowing Hogan lots of time to wake up and whip Lesnar to the ringpost. They head back in, where Hogan mounts the corner to do the 10-punch count-a-long. However, he only gets to 6 when Lesnar runs out of the corner and powerbombs Hogan in the middle of the ring. The natural response is to Hulk Up, and here we go again. Lesnar gets the finger pointed in his face, punch, punch, punch, whip, big boot, clap clap clap”¦and Lesnar stands RIGHT UP! F5 is attempted”¦but Hogan slides down the back and starts again. Punch, punch, punch, whip, big boot, nails Heyman, legdrop, and Lesnar kicks out with some serious authority!!! Hogan keeps Hulking Up, but knows darn well that the kickout is not good news. Another big boot”¦but this time on the legdrop, Heyman stops Hogan in his tracks — and Lesnar hits the F5!!! Lesnar walks around for a half hour with Heyman screaming “COVER HIM”, but Lesnar has other plans, going for a bearhug. He squeezes as hard as he can, and Hogan starts spitting up blood on Lesnar’s shoulder. The referee checks the arm, and it drops 3 times, ending this one at 10:06. ** Lesnar refuses to let go, and keeps the hold on while Heyman and the ref both try to break it. Eventually he does — and Lesnar heads up the aisle. Not shown is Lesnar smearing the blood across his chest like war paint.

THE UNDERTAKER vs. BROCK LESNAR vs. THE BIG SHOW (to determine the #1 contender to the WWE title)
August 28, 2003

WWE Preview: Undertaker, Brock Lesnar and Big Show are three of the biggest names in recent WWE history. Here the three SmackDown! Superstar compete in a Triple Threat Match where the winner is declared the No. 1 Contender for the WWE Championship.

I’ve never seen this match, I don’t remember hearing about this match, and I don’t particularly care about this match. Welcome to my relationship with Smackdown! since Stephanie McMahon was named the GM in July 2002. KURT ANGLE wanders down to ringside before the opening bell to do ringside commentary — and we take a commercial break.

Upon return, things are already under way with Lesnar driving Taker back to the corner. Show hits Undertaker with a headbutt, and the heels work a double team. Lesnar whips Undertaker right into a clothesline from Big Show while the fans chant “YOU TAPPED OUT” at Lesnar. Big Show nails a vertical suplex, and Lesnar tries to steal the pinfall for 2. Show and Lesnar get in each other’s faces — but opt to dump Undertaker outside instead. Lesnar attacks Show from behind, but winds up clotheslined for his efforts, and Show drops an elbow. Lesnar comes back with an overhead belly to belly suplex — getting 2 before Undertaker breaks it up! Taker hits a series of avalanche splashes on both guys, and delivers a big boot to Lesnar. Running clothesline levels the Big Show — and Undertaker hits snake eyes on Lesnar. Lesnar manages to duck a clothesline, and goes for the F5 — but Show breaks it up leading to Taker dropped in a Samoan drop position and Lesnar falls back. Show goes for a Chokeslam, but Undertaker counters with an armbar! Lesnar breaks it up — and now we’ve got Lesnar and Undertaker going head to head. Taker takes Lesnar over the top with a Cactus clothesline, but Lesnar takes over outside. Lesnar goes for an F5 near the ringpost — however Taker slips off and throws Lesnar face first to the post. Out of nowhere, Show hits Taker with a chair in the face — but misses Lesnar. Lesnar grabs the chair, goes to swing but Big Show punches the chair right back in Lesnar’s face. And we take another break!

We’re back with Big Show and Undertaker in the ring. Show hits a big boot, knocks Lesnar off the apron back towards the ringside tables — and goes for a pin on Undertaker. Taker counters it with a triangle choke”¦and Lesnar re-enters to break it up! Show heads out, and Undertaker hits Lesnar with the chokeslam! It gets 2 before Show yanks the ref outside. They head back in where Show hits a chokeslam”¦for 2! Show gives Lesnar a meaty giant chop, misses an avalanche, and gets nailed with a vertical suplex! It only gets 2 before Undertaker breaks it all up. Last Ride on Lesnar is set up, but Show’s back up to break it up, so Taker dumps him. F5 hits Undertaker, but Show quickly gets back in to save the day at 2! Show hits the chokeslam on Lesnar, but Brock is able to kick out at 2! Show decides to end this, and heads up top! The super chokeslam is stopped by Undertaker — but Lesnar reverses the hold and whips Taker into Show who winds up crotched up top. Lesnar heads up for a suplex, but gets caught with a Last Ride which wins the match for Undertaker at 12:53! ***1/4 Much better than I anticipated, thanks mostly to the awesomeness that is the Big Show/Brock Lesnar feud — and of course the 10,000 finishers hit in the last 3 or 4 minutes.

SHAWN MICHAELS (with Jose Lothario) vs. YOKOZUNA (for the WWF world heavyweight title)
August 19, 1996

WWE Preview: Former WWE Champion Yokozuna challenges then-WWE Champion Shawn Michaels in this RAW main event. At the time of the match, Yokozuna was weighing in at close to 700 pounds. You have to see it to believe it.

The Boy Toy gets the “Jeff Hardy SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL” reaction during his entrance. This is the night after SummerSlam, where Shawn beat Vader. Lockup, and Yokozuna launches him. A forearm knocks Shawn down. Shawn’s not deterred, and goes to another lockup. It’s broken and a shoving match ensues. Shawn manages to fly around out of Yoko’s grasp and hammers in some unanswered punches, dropping the former champ to his large posterior. JIM CORNETTE comes walking to ringside with a purpose as we hit commercial!

We return live to the show, and Cornette is beating the piss out of Lothario on the floor! This amuses me greatly”¦ Shawn goes to check him on, but Yoko drags him back into the ring, hitting a belly to belly! Big Fat Splash misses, but Shawn’s flying forearm doesn’t! Nip up, top rope, big splash! That only gets a 2 count, so Shawn warms up the band. Sweet Chin Music is BLOCKED and turned into a Samoan Drop in one quick move!!!! Big Fat Legdrop misses, and this time the Sweet Chin Music connects, giving Shawn the win at 4:14! **

August 18, 1997

WWE Preview: Shawn Michaels and Triple H are well known for being the founding fathers of D-Generation X. Check out this match just prior to their official DX days, as they take on Undertaker and Mankind.

Here’s a match that’s almost NEVER talked about, but wound up being one of the most important ones in federation history due to everything that transpired as a result of it. Triple H was still playing the snob character, and Shawn was freshly back. Both were punished for their roles in the Mankind/Shawn Michaels match from a week earlier — forced to team up against Mankind and Undertaker. Neither was particularly thrilled, and Chyna wanted NOTHING to do with Shawn, but everyone played along due to Sergeant Slaughter’s ruling. Mankind and Hunter start. Mick hits a spinning clothesline, and backdrops Shawn who wound up in the ring. Mankind fires off a series of punches that takes out both guys and tags in Undertaker. Shawn wants NOTHING to do with Taker and heads to the outside. Hunter gets in some shots, and Shawn holds the leg of Taker. It backfires when Taker dumps Triple H and he falls right on Shawn. Shawn gets on the apron, hits Taker with a Sweet Chin Music — and NOW wants in. However, he gets thrown back first to the corner, and DIVES to the outside now knowing that Taker’s okay. RICK RUDE comes out, and we take a break”¦

Upon return, Mankind’s got Triple H in a Mandible Claw position, but Chyna trips him up. Shawn comes in and hits a crossboy before tagging back in Hunter. They hit a variation of Total Elimination, using a clothesline instead of a spinning heel kick which gets 2. Shawn knocks Mankind outside and Triple H throws Mick into the stairs. They head back in, and Shawn gets a tag. Michaels jumps on Mankind’s face, and follows with a back elbow. Triple H comes in and throws Mankind around a little before going back to Shawn. Snap suplex connects — and Michaels heads up! Michaels hits the flying elbow drop, and warms up the band. He tags in Helmsley, tries for the Sweet Chin Music — but it’s blocked and Mandible Claw is applied. Triple H breaks it up, but Mankind goes low and tags in the Undertaker! Michaels of course disappears while Hunter takes a beating. A legdrop gets 2 — and Taker dumps Triple H. Goozle for Shawn on the apron”¦and Taker launches him WAY back to the guardrail! Rick Rude gets involved with a chair, but runs away with just a glance from Taker. In the ring, Undertaker hits a chokeslam on Hunter before Shawn LEVELS Taker with a chair, getting a DQ at 8:31. *1/2 Undertaker is busted wide open, and both Shawn and Hunter realize what they’ve done. Taker does the zombie sit up, and both guys just RUN to the back as fast as they can. Welcome the birth of Degeneration X, where duo realized just how well they worked together, and opted to hang around with one another and annoy the world to no end, introducing WWF Attitude and changing the course of the federation in one quick swoop. Now THAT’S an important match!

August 11, 1997

WWE Preview: With the late Rick Rude by his side, Shawn Michaels battles Mankind on RAW IS WAR. Also involved are Undertaker, Chyna, Paul Bearer and Triple H.

No, this isn’t “That Match”, but seeing as how I’ve seen “That Match” about a hundred times, and I’ve never seen “This Match”, that’ll do just fine. This is Shawn’s return match after walking out in June following his fight with Bret backstage, and takes place a week before the match right above this one. Mankind arrives with a garbage can in hand and throws it into the ring. Shawn hammers away at Mankind before he can use the trash bin, and grabs it for himself. He slams Mankind with it, and drops it over his head. Even with a bag over himself, Mankind still gets the Mandible Claw applied, so Shawn goes low to break. Mankind rolls out, and slams Shawn face first to the ringsteps while JR starts pimping ECW Hardcore Heaven?!? I recall the cross promotion stuff, but it still sounds WEIRD hearing it. Mick drops Shawn throat first across the guardrail and gives us a BANG BANG! However, he can’t capitalize as he winds up backdropped onto the announce table, and Shawn follows that with an elbow off the apron onto Mankind who’s on the table. From there — Mick gets whipped into the ringsteps, and Shawn gets back in. Mankind follows, but immediately gets slammed and hit with the top rope elbow! The band starts warming up, but Mankind ducks and applies the Claw! Shawn tries rolling through the ropes, but Mankind hangs on to the hold — so Shawn does what he has to do, and starts bouncing Mick’s head off the ringpost over and over! JR yells about Concussion City and it’s really hard to disagree with him with THAT visual. Mankind takes a belly to back suplex onto the announce table, and here comes TRIPLE H and CHYNA! They don’t look at all happy”¦ Before we can find out what they want, time for a commercial break!

We return and Shawn’s got the mask of Mankind off and is making fun of the social reject. The mask is of course used as a weapon — and Mick goes down. Shawn whips Mankind to the corner, charges, but hits the ringpost shoulder first HARD! Triple H and Chyna skulk the ringside area, as Mankind now misses a blind charge and hits the corner sternum first! Shawn gets 2. Breaking what’s been a relatively clean fight, Shawn starts clawing away at the eyes of Mankind, and chokes him out with the Kevin Nash big boot. Mick retaliates with a spinebuster, and hammers away with a lot of passion! He gives us a BANG BANG, and now you’ve woken up Jack! Cactus delivers a running knee to Michaels’ face — and now RICK RUDE wanders down! Cactus nails Shawn with a heart punch and double arm DDT! It only gets a 2 count. He starts coming off the ropes, but Triple H trips Cactus up — and Rude grabs a chair. Cactus gets the blunt end of the chair to the skull, followed by Sweet Chin Music from his opponent in the ring, and that does it at 8:45! ***3/4 Fantastic short hardcore brawl! Post-match, the BONG hits and Shawn shits his pants, knowing SummerSlam revenge is on its way. However, before anything can happen PAUL BEARER appears on the TitanTron and announces that Undertaker’s brother, Kane, is on his way and when he arrives that he’ll be burning in hell. And we cut out!

RIC FLAIR (with Woman and Elizabeth) vs. EDDIE GUERRERO (for the WCW United States title)
August 10, 1996

WWE Preview: While Ric Flair is widely known as a 16-time World Champion, he was also WCW United States Champion. In a thrilling pay-per-view match, Flair defends his title against Eddie Guerrero.

Guerrero, Flair, where exactly can you go wrong? Well, for starters, you could hold it in Sturgis”¦but that doesn’t stop Flair, who lets us know HE’S the one with 1200 CCs. Heenan is positively LOADED here, slurring every other word and talking very slowly. “When this is over honey, it’s you and me!” Classic Flair”¦ Guerrero takes down Ric with a shoulderblock and shoves Flair around. Flair gets angry, and shoves the ref so the ref shoves back. Flair’s not about to get embarrassed by a young punk, so he slaps Eddie”¦and Eddie slaps him back so hard Flair falls and rolls outside. After a small delay, Flair’s back in and backdrops Eddie on his head. Flair also hits his shoulder on the way down though”¦so both guys aren’t feeling so hot right now. Eddie starts laying in the chops and knocks Flair to his ass. Flair again rolls outside, pissed he’s not in control. Heenan: “Let me tell you something about Eddie Guerrero”¦”¦. “¦.. “¦. “¦.. “¦”¦ “¦”¦ “¦.. he might be in trouble here.” I almost expect that to be followed with the sound of his headset hitting the desk as the rest of him collapses into a peaceful slumber. Flair gets back in, and is hit with a tornado bulldog — and Eddie holds on. Flair rolls back pinning Guerrero’s shoulders — so Eddie breaks his headlock hold. Flair knocks Eddie down with a shove, but Eddie nips up freaking Flair right out. Eddie lays the chops in and backdrops Flair in the center of the ring. Flair begs off”¦and pokes Eddie in the eyes. A right hand levels Eddie, and Flair’s taking over. Around the ring they go with Flair chopping the whole way, but that fires Eddie up who does the 10 punch count-a-long. Flair is whipped across the ring, Flair flips to the apron, and eats a dropkick knocking him outside! Back in, Flair gets backdropped and clotheslined back to the outside. Flair again re-enters and takes a series of chops that cause a Flair flop! Eddie approaches Flair on the mat”¦and takes a kick to the nether regions. Flair takes that as a chance to whip Eddie into the ropes — but Eddie hits a crossbody for 2. Guerrero goes up — tries a sunset flip, but can’t cause it to go over. Flair drops a fist, but Eddie moves and Flair hits canvas! That leads to Eddie applying the figure four. Seriously, has Flair ever been involved in a match where his opponent DIDN’T apply the figure four on him? Flair gets to the ropes, so Guerrero breaks — but goes right to the Mexican Old School Ropewalk (with rana finish) getting a 2! So he tries a tornado DDT, and THAT gets 2. Flair is begging off, and Eddie starts the Flair strut! Flair is incensed, and knocks Guerrero down. He heads up”¦but gets caught, and slammed in the middle of the ring getting 2 for Eddie. Eddie goes to the apron, tries a sunset flip — and when it fails he pulls down Flair’s tights mooning the world. Flair runs around the ring trying to keep his tights on, but winds up getting rolled up for 2! Flair stands, so Eddie pokes him in the eyes, heads up, hits the Froggy Splash”¦but Flair gets his knees up to block! Flair follows with a clothesline — and goes to the figure four! Flair uses the ropes for leverage, and later Woman! Eddie is refusing to submit, so the referee counts the shoulders”¦and it gets the 3, so Flair retains at 14:17. ***1/2 Dusty calls it a “galiant” effort by Eddie Guerrero. Is he secretly Mike Tyson’s father?

HOLLYWOOD HOGAN vs. LEX LUGER (for the WCW world heavyweight title)
August 9, 1997

WWE Preview: At the August 1997 WCW pay-per-view Road Wild, Hulk Hogan challenged Lex Luger for the WCW Championship. Was Hogan successful in regaining the gold? Watch the match to find out.

5 days earlier on Nitro, Luger had ended the 1-year run of Hogan’s stranglehold on the belt. Why on earth would WCW make such an idiotic move when Sting had been stalking Hogan for months? First of all, it was the 100th edition of Nitro, so their story was it was a special night. The REAL story though was Luger had a title run written into his contract, and since that contract was about to expire (he signed in September 95 for 2 years) — they HAD to get it out of the way. Ahhhh politics. They circle the ring, and Luger runs over Hogan with a clothesline. The painted beard is missing in action tonight. Hogan powers Luger back to the corner, and drives his knee into Luger’s midsection several times before letting loose with the chops. Side headlock is applied by Hogan, but Luger shoves it off and knocks Hogan to the mat. Hogan throws a tantrum. Slowly he works his way back to Luger and starts in with the arm wringers, and takes him down. Luger reverses it, starts tearing and pulling on the arm — and Hogan falls to his knees. Luger lets go — and Hogan charges. However, Luger sidesteps, Hogan collides with the turnbuckle, Luger gives him a hiptoss, and Hogan’s had enough. He rolls to the outside to a “HOGAN SUCKS” chant. Hogan gets back into the ring and takes control by smashing Luger’s face to the turnbuckle and the BACK RAKE!!!! If that’s not enough, Hogan follows with a bodyslam and elbow drop. Amazingly, even through having his back raked, Luger kicks out. Hogan gets frustrated with Luger and the fans, and chokes out Luger. When Luger runs to the ropes, Hogan chokes him with them. He then attempts to smash Luger’s face to the buckle, but Luger blocks it and slams Hogan’s face in it 8 times. Hogan rolls out again. Luger stupidly follows and gets thrown face first to the steps. Hogan grabs some camera cables and chokes out Luger. As is usual with Hogan title matches, the referee simply warns him. Back in, Hogan stands on Luger’s neck and calls him “Lex Loser!” OMG! Lex Loser! What’s next, Sex Booger??? Horrible, horrible name calling! Hogan hits a backbreaker which gets a 2 count. We move to the bearhug for about a minute before he lets go and kicks at Luger. Test of strength, and Hogan takes the advantage because Luger’s winded. But it wouldn’t be a test of strength if the face didn’t win, and Luger makes the comeback, so Hogan kicks Luger in the testicles. He connects with a belly to back suplex which gets only 2. Big boot — but doesn’t go for the legdrop, rather opting to cover, and only gets a 2! Tony applauds Hogan for changing his strategy and not going for the legdrop. Why??? It did nothing! Hogan his a vertical suplex, and starts posing down — completely missing that Luger is no-selling and is on his feet. Luger poses, and Hogan freaks right out! Running clothesline — and Hogan starts begging off. Of course Luger shows mercy and gets a thumb to the eye for his trouble. Hogan rolls him up for a 2 count. After a little more posing, Hogan goes for the legdrop (to no crowd heat — got bless Sturgis) and misses. Luger hits 2 running clotheslines, and here comes the nWo! BUFF BAGWELL, SCOTT NORTON, SYXX, and KEVIN NASH are in, but somehow Luger clears them all before they can do anything. Luger hits a scoop slam on Hogan — nails Nash who’s in the ring, and STING appears. Sting nails Luger with the baseball bat, Hogan hits the legdrop, and we have a new World Heavyweight Champion at 16:15! *3/4 Sting of course was only Fake Sting, but it would take Luger some time to come around to that idea”¦ The clip ends abruptly following Hogan’s title win, so no spray-painting of the belt for us.

LANCE STORM vs. MIKE AWESOME (in a Canadian rules match for the WCW Canadian title)
August 13, 2000

WWE Preview: New Blood Rising emanated from Lance Storm’s home country of Canada. With the home field advantage, Storm defended his WCW U.S. Championship, which he called the Canadian Championship, against ECW defect Mike Awesome. Plus, what’s a show in Canada without Bret “Hit Man” Hart?

Wanna watch Mike Awesome’s career die in under 20 minutes? This is YOUR match! Storm had won the US Title in a tournament after Scott Steiner had been stripped of the belt for using the banned Steiner Recliner. The finals had seen him go over Awesome, and so a rematch was signed for New Blood Rising. Storm was of course getting a massive push at this point, holding not only the US Title, but also the Cruiserweight and Hardcore Titles. Storm gets a massive pop. “After wrestling for rude and obnoxious crowds in the US, I finally get to wrestle for some real wrestling fans in the greatest country in the world. If you’re wondering why the security entourage in the back, it’s because I’ve become a marked and hated man in the US. Despite claims of being a patriotic nation, they spit on me for defending my own country. It is irrational American thinking like that, that has me worrying about a terrorist attack in the back. It is not my fault the Americans think they rule the world. It’s not my fault that I threaten that illusion. It is not my fault that tonight I defeat yet another American hero Mike Awesome. Now in accordance with the Canadian championship belt, I invoke rule number 32B and name a special referee to oversee the enforcement”¦.” Fans chant for Bret. “”¦to oversee the enforcement of the Canadian rule book. I give you an honorable and true Canadian, JACQUES ROUGEAU!” That REALLY takes the wind out of the sails of the fans who were waiting for Hart. “Let’s do this right one time from the beginning, all rise for the playing of our Canadian national anthem!” And despite Tony talking throughout it — we do indeed finally hear it from start to finish.

Finally, the match gets underway while the fans chant “US SUCKS!” Awesome hammers on the back of Storm early and takes him down with a forward butterfly suplex. Storm drops a leg and gets 2. Storm tries a jawbreaker, but it’s no sold — and so is the superkick he follows with. Storm throws Awesome to the corner turnbuckle who hits the ring post shoulder first. Storm chops away and tries a suplex, but Awesome counters and clotheslines Storm to the outside. Double axehandle off the apron connects and Storm is whipped to the guardrail. With Lance down, Awesome gets a table and sets it up to a loud “ECW” chant! Powerbomb is set up, but Storm runs Awesome back to the guardrail. They head back in, and Storm hits a springboard dropkick for 2. Awesome comes back with an overhead belly to belly suplex — heads up top, and falls off. That draws a HUGE laugh from the crowd while Awesome clotheslines Lance. Mike goes for a running Awesome bomb towards the table setup outside the ring, but Storm rolls off and gets a backslide for 2! He tries to follow with a rana, but gets powerbombed HARD in mid-move for the pin at 4:08! Rougeau argues with SLICK JOHNSON who’d counted the pinfall and presents DAVE PENZER with the Canadian rule book. Penzer informs us that to beat your opponent, you must get a 5 count under Canadian rules. Yes, we all know EXACTLY where this is going now”¦ Awesome, furious, hits Storm HARD with a double leg slam for 3, and applies a dragon sleeper. The fans try to will Storm out of it, but he taps out at 5:54. Rougeau again is quick to point out that under Canadian rules in any a championship match you can’t win via submission. Storm hits a bridge suplex for 2, and follows with a rollup for 3. Awesome nails a release German suplex and flying clothesline for 4 — so Awesome calls for a finish and heads to the top rope. Frog splash appears to kill Storm, and gets the 5 count at 7:53. Rougeau’s excuse this time is that after a man is beaten by a 5 count, he has 10 seconds to answer before the bell. Storm’s up at 8, and gets clotheslined to the outside. Awesome throws the table inside the ring, but Storm goes low and smashes Awesome with a chair for 4. Storm sets Awesome on the table, heads up — but Awesome’s okay, and stops him. Awesome hits a belly to belly through the table while Rougeau tells us the first man to his feet is the champion. He enters the ring to help Johnson count — and while Johnson eyes Storm, Rougeau decks Awesome and Storm retains at 11:23. * What should have been a hard hitting EASY 3 star wrestling match turns into garbage. Post-match, BRET HART wanders out in street clothes and gives his boys a big hug. All 3 Canadians wander to the back to loud cheers, hopefully to clear their minds of the dreadful booking surrounding the whole mess.

GOLDBERG vs. RICK STEINER (in a non-title match)
August 14, 1999

WWE Preview: Goldberg vs. Rick Steiner from Road Wild 1999 is one of the rare pay-per-view matches that have taken place outside, rather than in the arena. Can the Dog Faced Gremlin upset Goldberg? Watch and find out.

You know, with all the Hogan love this Jukebox is getting, I’m more than a little surprised that this picked THIS of all matches from Road Wild 1999 when they had the “classic” (read: TERRIBLE) Hogan/Nash matchup on top. Tenay talks about Goldberg’s dedication to pro-wrestling (ummm, yeah”¦) while Steiner and Goldberg throw the fists! Goldberg wins that with a clothesline, and GLARES! Bret Hart concussion kick sends Rick sprawling to the outside. Rick opts to do the very exciting move of Walking Around For Awhile, before re-entering and SHOVING THE REF! HEEL!!!! With the distraction, he takes down Goldberg, rips off Goldberg’s knee brace and hammers him with it. Goldberg stands to fight back, but takes 2 shots to the face with it. Steiner puts the knee brace on like some sort of Evil Black Heel Claw and tears at the face of Goldberg. The fans respond by REVVING THEIR BIKES! So Steiner flips them off and rubs his penis. I SINCERELY wish I was making that up, because I think I’m gonna be sick. Rick punches Goldberg a couple more times with the Penis Handed Black Claw Of Death and delivers a belly to belly suplex. DDT is delivered, and Rick gets a 2. Goldberg finally does the superman comeback, getting Goldberg press slam, spear, Jackhammer, and the win at 3:59. *1/2 Honestly, not as bad as I remembered — but it’s going to take a long time to get the image of Steiner groping himself out of my head. Just”¦ugh!

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE and JAY LENO (with Kevin Eubanks) vs. HOLLYWOOD HOGAN and ERIC BISCHOFF (with the Disciple and Elizabeth)
August 8, 1998

WWE Preview: Jay Leno wrestling? That’s right, the new king of late night television teamed up with Diamond Dallas Page in August of 1998 to battle Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Can Leno actually wrestle? Find out for yourself.

This should have been the biggest disaster in wrestling history with Jay Leno in a main event, WCW did fairly well all things considered. We start with everyone already in or around the ring — and Leno dumps his water on Bischoff. Leno tells Hogan to paste him right in his massive jaw, but DDP tells him to shut up and wait on the apron. Hogan and Page start. Hogan shoves Page to the corner while the fans and Leno chant for DDP. Hogan again shoves Page, and throws his bandana at him. Page starts with the armdrags and slaps Hogan around. Leno also gets in a shot — and Page finishes with a swinging neckbreaker. Hogan rolls out — and Eubanks gets in a cheap shot, launching Hogan into the ringpost! Hogan is rolled back in to the ring, and DDP gets a small package for 2. Eubanks challenges Disciple to come over and get him some — but Ed stays put. Hogan boots Page in the midsection and RAKES THE BACK! Hogan chokes Page out — and tags in Bischoff. They double team Page, and Leno hits the ring! The referee holds him back though, Page takes out Bischoff with a big boot — and Leno is tagged in! Bischoff runs to the corner and tags back in Hogan. So, yes, we now have Leno against Hogan. Leno ducks out of a lockup, swats Bischoff, and taunts Hogan’s lack of hair. Leno ducks out of the way again and tags in Page! Page chokes out Hogan, but Hogan comes back with a thumb to the eye and a clothesline. DDP starts pulling at the arm of Hogan, applies an armbar, and tags in Jay! Leno takes over and starts with the armdrags, but Hogan pulls the hair and drives Leno to the corner. One knee to the midsection winds Jay, but Leno sidesteps an avalanche and tags back in Page. Page hits an armdrag, tags in Leno after hitting Hogan with a clothesline, and Leno gets 2! Leno tags back out — and Page chases Hogan out of the ring. Eubanks nails Hogan with a chair, and everyone gets back in. Bischoff kicks Page in the back of the head, so Page knocks him right off the apron. The distraction allows Hogan a chance to paste Page, and he falls. Hogan tears at Page’s face and hits a corner clothesline. Bischoff kicks at Page’s midsection and works him over with karate moves. That just serves to fire Page up, and he comes back with a series of blows that knock Eric out cold. Hogan gets some brass knucks, decks Page, places Bischoff on top — but it only gets 2! Hogan spits at Leno while delivering punches to Page — all while Leno keeps pointing to his massive chin. Hogan hits the big boot — but can’t follow up before Page gets to his feet and hits the spinning clothesline! Bischoff and Leno tag in. Bischoff pokes Leno in the eyes and declares that Leno will be the queen of comedy. Leno opts to hit the low blow and punches out Bischoff. He follows with a clothesline and throws Eric face first from turnbuckle to turnbuckle! We get 11 face shots to the corner, and Hogan enters the ring. Bischoff holds Leno hostage, but Leno ducks and Hogan clotheslines Eric! DDP dumps Hogan and follows, while Eubanks enters the ring! Eubanks nails the Diamond Cutter, Leno covers and scores the pinfall at 14:25. 3/4* God awful match, but the fans seemed to like it.

CHRIS JERICHO vs. STEVIE RAY (for the WCW world television title)
August 10, 1998

WWE Preview: This match was scheduled to be Stevie Ray defending the Television Championship against Chavo Guerrero. However, immediately after being announced, Guerrero appeared visibly upset at the loss of Pepe. Enter Chris Jericho.

Bit of backstory here”¦ Booker T had been the TV champion, but an injury sustained at Bash At The Beach thanks to Bret Hart had left him unable to defend the belt. His brother Stevie Ray was MORE than happy to step in as the champion, but wasn’t exactly defending it with the same integrity his brother had. CHAVO GUERRERO JR. comes out for a title shot here, but can’t find Pepe, his wooden horse. Chris Jericho finds the horse backstage and invites Chavo to come get him. When Chavo does, Jericho beats the piss out of him and heads to the ring. “Listen here Stevie Ray, since Chavo is busy in the back with Pepe, you seem to be looking for someone to challenge you for this belt. Well let me tell you this, you’re not the only guy from the streets, brotha! I grew up on the mean streets of Calgary”¦Alberta, Canada. I am one bad mama jama, so if you wanna try me for this one I’ll take you on in front of all of these wonderful Jerichoholics tonight.” Stevie stupidly agrees. Stevie shoves Jericho so hard he falls to the floor. Jericho throws a fit, and gets back in. He gets press slammed. Stevie pounds away, but Jericho quickly dropkicks the knees of Stevie and chops away. A rollup gets 2. Stevie’s had enough and kicks Jericho in the face. Dangerous looking hotshot hangs Jericho over the top, but Stevie charges and Jericho dumps him. Jericho off the top rope with a flying crossbody! They head back in, and Jericho tries another crossbody, getting power slammed this time! Jericho recovers, and hits a dropkick. This time he hits a corner dropkick, and “accidently” gives the referee a lowblow. That’s enough to knock him out cold — and here comes THE GIANT! Giant gives Stevie a headbutt, and a big Chokeslam!!!! Jericho DESPERATELY tries to wake up the referee as he puts Stevie in the Liontamer. That’s enough at 4:55, since Stevie’s out cold, and we have a new TV champion!!! *1/4 Tenay says he’s afraid to ask why the nWo might back Jericho, but as it would turn out he’d have nothing to fear.

August 7, 2000

WWE Preview: With just days before the New Blood Rising pay-per-view, Goldberg couldn’t keep his nose out of this Monday Nitro main event that saw the Steiner brothers unite to take on former WCW Champions Sting and Kevin Nash.

Now what the hell is this crap? Someone watching the old footage decided THIS was what people wanted?!? Everything from 2000 WCW should be immediately exempt from ever seeing the light of day”¦seriously. This match starts in typical Kevin Nash style”¦with him standing around flipping his hair while the Steiners stand outside the ring looking nervous. Rick starts against Nash. The high knee is driven into Rick repeatedly in the corner, followed by the elbows (with photo finish)! Steiner comes back with a Steinerline getting 2. Nash retaliates with a running corner clothesline while Tony starts verbally blowing “big sexy”. Sting comes in while Nash slams Rick, allowing him to hit a top rope splash only getting 2. Sting knocks Scott off the apron and hammers away at Rick. Rick does the only thing he can do by raking Sting’s eyes and tags in Scott. Scott gets a quick 2 count off an elbow drop. Sting gets tied to the tree of woe — and Rick chokes him out while Sting distracts the ref. Nash runs(!) around the ring to break it up. Back in the ring, Rick hits a belly to belly for 2. Scott enters and applies a bearhug — but Sting fights out of it and dives for a tag to Nash. Nash hits clotheslines on everyone, and finishes with a side slam on Rick. Scott ruins a Jackknife attempt — prompting Sting to tag himself in and nail Scott with a Stinger Splash. A second one misses while Nash powerbombs Rick ON TO the announce table, and it doesn’t break!!! In the ring, Scott locks Sting in the Steiner Recliner, but GOLDBERG races down to break that up with a punch to the back of Scott’s head. Sting covers”¦and gets the 3 at 6:37?!?!? 1/4* From a punch to the back of the head??? Goldberg then gives Sting the Bret Hart Concussion Kick — and squares off with Nash. But before anything else can happen WE’RE OUT OF TIME ON THIS EDITION OF NITRO! They never changed”¦

August 9, 2000

WWE Preview: While The Cat had a short WWE career, he was a very powerful man in WCW. Serving as Commissioner, Cat and Sting teamed up to take on the legendary Great Muta and his tag team partner Vampiro. Watch at the end of this match, as the Demon appears to take apart the Stinger.

I’m starting to think whomever picked the last match and this one has a really sick sense of humor. This starts with all four guys beating the hell out of each other right off the bat. Sting’s taking a chair to Vampiro while Cat works over Muta with his karate. Sting sends Vamp into the table face first, but misses a Stinger splash and hits the guardrail hard. Muta starts attacking Miller with a chair. Everyone gets back to the ring, and Vamp works over Sting. Muta is tagged in, and hits an elbowdrop. Muta chokes Sting, and threatens the ref with a misting if he makes him break it. Vampiro is back in, and yanks on Sting’s arm. Sting tries to make a tag — and does, but the referee misses it and orders Cat back to the corner. Vampiro hits a spin kick. Sting tries a come back with a Stinger splash, but takes a big foot to the face! Sting manages to hit a neckbreaker, and tags in Miller. Karate for everyone! Lots of kicks and chops. Miller takes a chop to the throat, and goes down. However, he comes back with a DDT on Muta for 2. At this point, lurking around the stage is FORMER FLORIDA MARLINS TRAINING COACH DALE TORBORG. So many great wrestling memories come flooding back! Like the time he jobbed to The Maestro. Or the time he made Antonio Alfonseca go running back to the training room in fear of an asskicking. Sting takes the mist from Muta, but somehow Miller in the confusion hits the Feliner on Vampiro for the win at 3:57. 1/4* This whole match was a mess, much like WCW at the time. Cat takes the Red Mist, and Demon locks Sting in a Scorpion Deathlock while Thunder goes off the air. Urgh, NEXT please!

HULK HOGAN vs. STING (for the WCW world heavyweight title)
August 23, 1999

WWE Preview: Two fan favorites, Hulk Hogan and Sting, compete for the WCW Championship in a match that saw Goldberg, Sid Vicious, Lex Luger and Rick Steiner all make run ins.

Oooh, is it asking too much to hope they include the KISS segment that aired immediately following this match? They shake hands to start, because if there’s ANYONE Sting loves and respects, it’s Hogan. This was during that really weird era where Hogan changed the color of his underwear, and suddenly EVERYONE forgot that he’d ever been Hollywood Hogan, and were all prepared to love him again. Except the skeptical fans, who weren’t quite as behind him as one might expect considering how big the return to the Red and Yellow should have been. But at least Hogan had the Stupid Babyface Wrestlers on his side. They lockup and walk all around the ring in that position. They break it up and get into a shoving match. Schiavone is more than happy to announce just how big this shoving match is! Hammerlocks are traded, before moving over to the dreaded armwringers. Tony announces that this is a had one to call. Yes, all those unknown high flying lucha libre moves are really going to be a distraction here. They bump chests, and then Hogan goes into a rollup for 2. Hogan goes for another armwringer, but this time Sting packages him for 2. Tony announces this is a great wrestling match! I miss Nitro. Weak ass corner clothesline from Hogan gets a 2. Hogan hits a running clothesline this time, and follows with a belly to back suplex scoring another 2 count. Tony announces Hogan is attempting to win the World Title, despite of course being the CHAMPION. 10 punch count-a-long in the corner with Sting is followed by the BACK RAKE!!! Man, it’s over. Sting hits a scoop slam, but misses an elbowdrop because Hogan’s HULKING UP! Punch, punch, punch, whip to the corner, and Hogan dumps him outside. They “brawl” outside the ring, and Sting throws Hogan on the announce table. It does not break, because when I say throw, I mean “gingerly places”. Hogan then gets up and does the same to Sting. Back in, Hogan hits a scoop slam and elbow drop for 2. Sting comes back, hits his own scoop slam and follows with a Vader bomb(!) getting 2. Into a rear chinlock we go. Hogan falls, and we check the arm. After it falls twice, Hogan waves the finger and Hulks his way out. Hogan gives Sting a faceplant to the mat, and delivers the big boot. Legdrop misses, and Sting hits the Stinger splash!!! A second one results in Sting taking a boot to the face, but Sting tries a third time anyway, and this time hits the turnbuckle. Because it suddenly got good — here’s SID VICIOUS and RICK STEINER to cause a stupid DQ at 11:32. *3/4 They attack both guys, so GOLDBERG joins the party and the heels run away. LEX LUGER joins them in the ring as well while Hogan shakes Goldberg’s hand. Hogan gets in Luger’s face while Sting keeps the peace, recreating 1995 all over again. Hogan: “I want everyone to know with Goldberg and Lex Luger as my witnesses, Stinger is going to get another shot at this.” The faces all celebrate. Of course, the next title shot Sting got he smacked Hogan with a baseball bat a few times and won the title, which is really what he should have done about 3 years earlier, but what can ya do? Damn it, no KISS concert.

LEX LUGER vs. LORD STEVEN REGAL (with Geeves) (for the WCW world television title)
August 31, 1996

WWE Preview: Lex Luger defends the WCW Television Championship against Lord Steven Regal (known to WWE fans as William Regal). Marred by controversy, this match features an epic ending that includes interference by Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, the Outsiders.

This match alone is what sold me on the Jukebox. I mean, the whole premise is cool — but getting to see a WCWSN match involving Regal in his prime?!? Worth the price of admission right there. Of course, I may be eating my words since he’s going to have to carry the uncarriable Lex Luger, but for now I’m pumped. The fans chant “USA” and Regal makes a hilarious combination “disgusted” and “confused” face. Luger slaps on a headlock and squeezes. Off the ropes, forearm to Regal levels him, and Regal begs off, but not before making a “bewildered” face. Regal tries to put on a full nelson, but with no success — leading to Luger armbarring him and going back to the headlock. Regal tries a hiptoss, but it’s blocked and turned into a backslide for 2. Of course, it wouldn’t have been a real backslide unless it had Regal making the “oh my god I’m falling over the side of a cliff” face, which he did. Luger hits a couple of hiptosses, and the Lord bails. After telling the cameraman to go away, he gets back in the ring and takes Luger down! He makes the mistake of going to the knucklelock though, and Luger powers him up, and stomps on Regal’s hands. Regal begs off, and Luger complies. They lockup, and Luger powers him back to the corner. NICK PATRICK orders a break, and as soon as Luger does he gets a thumb in the eye. Regal plays innocent, but Patrick’s not so sure. He lets it go, and Regal starts in with the European uppercuts. Now the forearms start, and Regal shows some serious fire stiffing the shit out of Luger. Regal poses, showing off his giant muscles. *cough* Regal chokes out Luger in the ropes before giving him the double kneelift to the face — getting a couple of 2 counts. Regal gets Luger into the corner, but a blind charge allows Luger the chance to kick Regal in the face. Flying clothesline, and Luger starts his hulking up. Regal takes a backdrop, and 2 running clotheslines. Vertical suplex connects, and gets 2 with Regal smartly putting his foot on the rope. Regal does the only thing he can”¦. He jabs a thumb into the eye of Luger! Luger isn’t taking that this time though and sends Regal outside. He follows, and rolls Regal back in. Patrick gets distracted with Regal, missing THE OUTSIDERS jump the guardrail!!! Both guys attack Luger with the referee distracted and whip him into the guardrail. They take off before being noticed — and Luger slowly crawls in. Regal goes for the pin, and gets the MASSIVE upset at 7:41!!!! *** Dusty accuses Regal of being in with the New World Order.

TONY SCHIAVONE grabs Regal backstage. Regal makes sure Tony’s aware he’s now a 3-time TV champ. “I told you a few weeks ago I was going to make a change here. I told Luger, I gave him fair warning that if you flaunt those pecs around, I’d rip both his bloody shoulders out their socket sockets. And that’s exactly what I’ve just done. Now, as far as outside interference goes, I have no idea what you’re talking about you ridiculous little man. I’d also like to thank the officiating here in WCW. Superb. Mr. Patrick is one wonderful referee. Now, I am going to do something that no other man in WCW history has ever done. This belt belongs to me. I am going to take it all over the world. Not just here in WCW. Not like Hogan, not like Flair waiting for people to come to them. I am going to travel the world and defend WCW, which I am very loyal to by the way, with honor and with pride. You people should be honored to have a real champion for a change. If it means me going to somebody’s backyard with a (not sure what he said), if I think they’re capable of wrestling me, I will wrestle them. If it means me going back to India to wrestle in the sand pits, I’ll do it. If it means me going back to Japan to beat up any one of their champions, I will do it. This belt will stay with me as long as I bloody well want it to.”

ANDRE THE GIANT vs. HULK HOGAN (with Freddie Blassie)
August 9, 1980

WWE Preview: Many people don’t realize that Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant actually squared off before their WrestleMania III classic. This match, which took place outdoors at Shea Stadium, sees a young Hogan (managed by Freddie Blassie) bloody Andre the Giant.

This is actually a pretty famous match, but not a very good one. Part of the Shea Stadium card that had Larry Zbyzsko vs. Bruno Sammartino on top, Hogan was an up and coming heel that was doing a run with Andre The Giant, and thus got pretty good billing. You can see this on the Hogan DVD as well. After some lengthy intros, they lock up and Andre shoves Hogan back to the corner. Hogan comes forward and decides to put on a headlock, which Andre just plays with — showing the crowd he can escape anytime he wants to by picking up Hogan, before just shoving him off. Andre puts on the headlock with a big smile on his face before letting go and giving him a shoulder tackle. From there, he grabs Hogan’s arms behind his back and starts in with the headbutts to the back. They stall, with Andre hitting Hogan every little while just to remind us there is a match taking place. Hogan finally goes on the attack, putting a bearhug on Andre. Yeah, THAT’LL work. Andre headbutts Hogan to make him let go, and Hogan heads to the floor. He’s not there long, just getting in a quick word with Blassie, before getting back to the apron. Andre suplexes Hogan back in, but misses a big splash!!! Hogan starts firing off some punches, and goes to bodyslam Andre”¦which of course, he can’t. Andre however has mo problem slamming Hogan — but inadvertently hits the referee with Hogan as he’s doing it, knocking him cold. As Andre checks on the referee, Hogan decks him from behind and stomps the giant on the ground before giving him a body slam!!! Andre no sells, slams Hogan, delivers a splash, and another referee comes in to count at 7:33! *1/2 After the match, just to show what a good sport he is, Hogan clotheslines Andre, bloodying him! The sight of Andre covered in blood is kinda cool. Hogan leaves to a chorus of boos.

August 14, 1995

WWE Preview: At the time of this match, Jeff Hardy was not even 20 years old. The young Hardy, complete with short hair and crazy tights, battled Hunter Hearst Helmsley in this early Monday Night RAW match.

This is surreal”¦ I knew Hardy was around for a long time, but I had no idea even in 1995. Hardy gives Hunter a hiptoss, while Dok Hendrix wonders if Hardy is a throwback to the Partridge Family. Triple H comes back with a lowblow and European uppercut. Hunter’s apparently still undefeated at this point, though he wouldn’t have been around more than a couple of months. Hardy with a dropkick, but misses a flying body attack from the top. Hunter drops a knee over and over on Jeff before elbowing him in the face. Vince pimps the AOL number, while a graphic tells us DO NOT CALL. A Pedigree gives Hunter the 3 at 2:07. 1/2* Just a squash involving a couple future big names — and that’ll wrap things up.

Ye gods, this is fun. With Video On Demand literally a month or two away from my local cable service (which will bring me TONS of old footage), coupled with ESPN Classics Canada airing TNA from start to finish — and now this Jukebox??? Someone out there is LOVING the wrestling fans these days, and the more pandering they do to me means more cash out of my pockets.

Before I sign off, I just wanted to mention that I was at SummerSlam and took pictures. Those curious can check ’em out here. Those on dial MAY want to reconsider clicking though, because they’re fairly big.

See you in September!