Welcome to the first installment of InsidePulse’s monthly music roundtable feature. Each month will feature our selected members of the Inside Pulse staff commenting on 6 music topics from the past month. This month’s panel is as follows…
Jonathan Widro -Owner/webmaster of Inside Pulse
Matthew Michael – Music co-editor, Daily Pulse columnist, contributor
Jeffrey R. Fernandez – Music columnist/contributor
Tom D’Errico – Music columnist/contributor
Beth Gottfried – Music contributor
Mathan Erhardt – Music/comics columnist/contributor
Alex Lucard – Daily Pulse columnist, games columnist/contributor
Misha – Games columnist/contributor
Jed Shaffer – Wrestling columnist
Brian J. Blottie – Music columnist/contributor
Also, starting next month, we will be welcoming one reader into the fold to comment on each month’s Rocktable topics. If you’re interesting in taking part in our roundtable, send your personal comments on this month’s topics to DeusXMachina@4sternstaging.com.
Wes Borland Re-Joins Limp Bizkit
(8/16/04)
Three years after he left the band, guitarist Wes Borland is back with Limp Bizkit and working on the group’s next album.
Beginning Monday morning (August 16), visitors to the homepage of Limp Bizkit’s official site were immediately confronted by a photo collage showing Borland in a studio with his former bandmates. Under the images, the caption reads: “August Thirteenth Two Thousand and Four.” Meanwhile, on Fred Durst’s blog the frontman himself authenticates what had been rumored for the past month in a post dated Saturday that read, “Well, now the Limp Bizkit fans know about Wes. Pretty dope.”
Limp Bizkit’s label, Interscope Records, however, has yet to make an announcement about the lineup change.
Borland’s return pushes his former replacement, Mike Smith, out of the lineup, a move about which Durst has no regrets. “We are very content with Mike being gone,” Durst told the Limp Bizkit fan site, www.thearmpit.net, in an interview posted Sunday. “We are the type of people that stay true to our family and our instincts and at any moment will act on intuition as a whole. Mike wasn’t the guy. We had fun playing with him but always knew, in the back of our minds, that he wasn’t where we needed him to be mentally. On that note, you can assume that the shit we are writing now is f*cking powerful and very emotionally laced with reality.”
When Smith joined Limp Bizkit in April 2003, Durst deemed their chemistry “dope.” So dope, in fact, that he shelved the songs written since Borland’s departure, some of which featured the guitar work of Ministry’s Al Jourgensen, Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo and Korn’s Head, and began anew.
Borland had left the band in October 2001, burdened by the fear that he was selling out.
(MTV.com)
Widro: As much flack as Fred Durst gets, he is still in the headlines nearly a decade after his rise. It’s tough to stay a star, and Wes Borland might have been offended by Fred three years ago, but Durst clearly knows the record industry. Even their last “flop” CD still sold over 1 million copies.
Matthew Michael: He left? Honestly, I could never take Limp Bizkit seriously because of Wes’ strange “look” even though one would think that Durst would be the force most likely to drive me away. Hey, at least Fred entertains me with his silly little blog and made-up affairs with pop hotties. What’s Wes done? Painted his face to look like a monkey on crack? Just doesn’t do it for me, sorry. So yeah… welcome back, Wes!
Fernandez: Everyone is familiar with my feelings towards Everyone’s Favorite Guy and his shitty-ass band. Borland leaving could have been the best career move of his life. He got into production and starting getting involved in some really nice collaborations (see the soundtrack for Underworld). However, after apparently getting frustrated with the fact that he wasn’t receiving the same kind of mainstream success that he saw with Everyone’s Favorite Guy’s Band, he came crawling back. The only thing that I can really liken this to is that one friend that we all have that used to date that one girl1 that you and all your other friends knew that they were way to good for. You know the one… an absolute cunt. She didn’t get along with you or any of his friends, and may have even given him shit for hanging out with you guys on one of your birthdays instead of sitting at home and watching Autumn in New York with her on a Friday night. Extreme cases saw him being absolutely cut off from your group, and maybe even starting to listen to bands like Matchbox 20. The girl wasn’t even that good-looking, and in fact, she’d even tried to hit on you or some of your other friends on the rare occasion that you all hung-out together. She was just an absolute piece of shit. Well, one day, your poor friend finally gathered up the minerals to say something to her, and it ended in a brilliant barrage of insults and accusations that saw the two of them breaking up on what seemed to be the worst possible terms ever. Even though you were ecstatic about it, you didn’t let him know that, and instead said something like, “Fuck her, dude, let’s go out and get some drinks. It’s be just like old times.” Later that night, you all took your friend out to the local strip club, got him shitfaced, and even bought him a lap dance or seven. All was well, until she showed up again, and said, “We have to talk.” After a long talk, your friend told you that they had just had a misunderstanding and that he really loved her and that if you were really his friend you’d be cool with that. Well, f*ck your pussy-whipped friend and f*ck his bitch girlfriend.
1 This could, of course, have your friend as the girl, instead, and her boyfriend is some alpha male asshole, but you get the point.
D’Errico: Say what you will, Limp Bizkit was a good band. I’m not talking the “Rollin,” did it all for the “nookie” pandering to whatever it was they were pandering to band. I’m not even talking about the “faith” covering Bizkit. I’m talking about the angry, “Counterfeit” spewing, band of long ago. The first album and tours were sick, and it was clear that without Wes in the band Durst could find no direction. (I mean really, recording a whole album and scrapping the entire thing?) Borland too, lacked direction, so having the two together is at least a plus in that direction. We’ll just have to wait and see what they, in turn, throw out…
Beth: Borland should have listened to his fears. He was selling out. Also, anyone who rejoins a band whose lead singer uses the term “dope” needs a lobotomy. Or maybe just deserves to be in a group with Fred Durst. Wait a second, River Cuomo did guitar work for Limp Bizkit? When did Weezer sell out? And more importantly, in the spirit of the upcoming elections, and my own perverse curiosity is River related to the Kennedys?
He is a Cuomo.
Mathan: To say that I’m ambivalent is an understatement. I never, ever really cared for Limp. I hated their cover of “Faith” which seemed real “frat.” I did however find Wes Borland’s outlandish behavior and costumes to be very entertaining.
At least now I have a reason to watch (muted) Limp videos again. I mean other than hoping to catch a glimpse of Fred’s vanishing hairline.
Lucard: I don’t care. I mean, It’s Limp Bizkit. They do ‘Rollin’ And ‘My Way or the Highway.’ They are so far away from the spectrum of music I can stand that I have to admit I only know the name Fred Durst because he was a hidden character in a Smackdown game and Wes Borland because I probably watched MTV once or twice and he was mentioned. LB is a band that will be remembered ten years from now like Trixter or Warrant are remembered. This band that had a following somehow and now they’re rather considered jokes. Fred Durst has proven himself to be a massive idiot from trying to swerve listeners as to the name of his new album, to his inane comments made about their department musician who replaced Borland originally. Shade of Paul Stanley towards Ace Frehley?
Misha: Does anybody still care about Limp Bizkit any more? No, really, I’m intrigued to know… It’s all just joined the “Meh” pool, for me…
Jed: And this matters how? Bizkit is as relevant to the current music scene as Guns ‘N Roses…only GNR is in hibernation, while we still have to deal with the human dildo known as Fred Durst.
Blottie: I respected Wes Borland. He put out one of the most wildly innovative albums of recent memory with Big Dumb Face’s “Duke Lion…”. The tour for said album was one of the wildest, coolest concerts I’ve ever been to, and introduced me to El Greco and a female-fronted Detroit “metal” band that played a cassette of ’80s hair-metal and air guitared/drummed/bassed/sang their hearts out. It rocked in so many ways.
When he left Limp Bizkit, I celebrated. Limp Bizkit had potential, then squandered it on their knees sucking on the cock of big business. Wes, however, was never smeared in the same shit the band was, and usually was regarded as the “cool” member of the band. Hell, the first time I saw Limp Bizkit (opening for KoRn back in ’96), Borland was the member who sold me on the band, as a band named “Limp Bizkit” was at the time just twenty minutes between me and seeing KoRn tear the tiny State Theatre to the ground.
But now he’s back with Bizkit, realizing that nothing he did outside of the band worked. It’s sad, painful, but most of all, disgusting. The mere idea that this man, who had so many horrible things to say about Limp Bizkit and where they were going, could rejoin the thing he hates reaffirms my belief that money means more than integrity to every single human being on the face of the Earth.
Fuck Wes Borland. He’s a pathetic waste who has earned his spot right next to Fred Durst as “dicks who need to get the f*ck out of the business and/or die”.
Dave Matthews Band Sued for Dumping Waste on a Tour Boat
(8/24/04)
The state of Illinois sued the Dave Matthews Band on Tuesday for allegedly dumping up to 800 pounds of liquid human waste from a bus into the Chicago River, dousing a tour boat filled with passengers.
The lawsuit accuses the band and one of its bus drivers of violating state water pollution and public nuisance laws. It seeks $70,000 in civil penalties.
“Our driver has stated that he was not involved in this incident,” band spokesman John Vlautin said in a statement.
He said the band “will continue to be cooperative in this investigation.”
According to the lawsuit, on Aug. 8 a bus leased by the band was heading to a downtown hotel where members were staying. As the bus crossed the Kinzie Street bridge, the driver allegedly emptied the contents of the septic tank through the bridge’s metal grating into the river below.
More than 100 people on an architecture tour were showered with foul-smelling waste. The attorney general’s office said no one was seriously injured.
“This incident may be unique, but that does not lessen the environmental or public health risks posed by the release of at least 800 pounds of liquid human waste into a busy waterway and onto a crowded tour boat,” Attorney General Lisa Madigan said in a statement.
(The Associated Press)
Widro: Does anyone really think Dave himself is making the outhouse emptying procedures for his tour?
Matthew Michael: I love how Dave is all like “we support our crew, but uh… yeah, if uh… it’s found out that it WAS our crap… we’ll apologize. yeah.” Did you hear they’re doing DNA testing on the poop now? WHAT THE?
Fernandez: Seeing as the Dave Matthews Band is probably one of the most environmentally conscious music groups out there, I find it difficult to believe that they could have sanctioned this, one of the most hilariously vile ways to defile the environment. Chances are that it was an independent decision of the bus driver, but there is a slim chance that the band thought that nobody would ever notice and that their whole crusade for the environment is just a sham to cozy up to those dirty f*cking hippies. Either way, 50 Cent looks like the black guy from Dave Matthews Band. No, not that one… yeah, that one.
D’Errico: I can’t figure out how big a story this really is. There’s a good possibility the band wasn’t even on the bus at the time. Even if they were, I highly doubt they initiated the dump. The band takes a pretty noticable stance when it comes to protecting the environment, so I’m seeing this as simply one of those “band-is-involved-tangentially-hence-it’s-news” stories.
Beth: I don’t know. Maybe it’s cause DMB takes me back to my high school days, but I still have a fondness for them. And while they may be hypocrites, aren’t we all? Upon hearing this news, I decided out of protest that I would however ban Ben & Jerry’s “One Sweet Whirled” for a while. I mean you never know where those crunchy granola types get their ingredients. This episode once again proves my point that while some may focus on terrorists as our #1 enemy, our heartland’s real villain is DMB.
Mathan: Why was there a tour boat in Illinois at all? Not to diss Jeff’s state, but is there really anything to tour around?
That said, they deserved it. I hate tourists. I used to work in Baltimore’s Inner Harbor and tourists, while a boon to the economy, were the bane of locals. They suck.
If you come from a place so boring that you go sightseeing on the Chicago River you deserve to be doused in turd.
Lucard: How many people are this band anyways? And 800 lbs of feces. How can a person even imagine a quantity of that magnitude. So much filth. Ew.
I hate Dave Matthews Band a lot, as it is all my roommate listens to besides Wreckx and Effex or however you spell the name of the rap band that does ‘rump shaker.’
Although to be honest, it doesn’t seem like the band even knew about it. It seems like the retarded bus driver just did this on his own volition. And how could he not know there was a tour boat? I mean, a boat with 100 people is f*cking hard to miss.
This just proves to me the majority of humans are idiots.
Misha: I could make a comment about “shitting on the fans”, but that’d be too easy. In all seriousness, dumping = BAD. If nothing else, the karma’s going to be hellish…
Jed: Never liked DMB, never will. Amusing, but not the kind of PR one wants.
Blottie: Does no one else see the irony of a band who creates shit and dumps it upon the masses actually creating shit and dumping it upon the masses? I mean… that’s just funny.
Hopefully there were no old men on the boat, as they tend to look up and open their mouths a lot.
Rick James Dead at 56
(8/6/04)
Flamboyant funk music pioneer Rick James, a dynamic performer famed for the sensuous 1981 dance hit “Super Freak (Part 1)” as well as a descent into drugs and crime, died in his sleep Friday morning of natural causes, officials said.
James, 56, the self-proclaimed “icon of drug use and eroticism,” battled a crack-cocaine habit for years. He had been in fragile health since suffering a stroke in 1998 after bursting a blood vessel at a concert in Denver.
He sometimes required help walking, but was in upbeat spirits as recently as late June when he received a lifetime achievement award at a music industry dinner in Beverly Hills.
“I’m Rick James, bitch,” he defiantly proclaimed at the event, echoing the catchphrase used in a skit by cable TV comedian Dave Chappelle.
A spokeswoman for the Los Angeles Police Department said officers responded to a radio call of a natural death at a house near Hollywood at 9:45 a.m., and found James’ body. There were no plans for an autopsy, said an official for the Los Angeles County Coroner.
James, who was born James Johnson, Jr. in Buffalo, New York, was infamous for his outrageous behavior. His stage image — outlandish hair braids, extravagant costumes and spiky guitars — prompted comparisons with colorful funk artists like Sly and the Family Stone and George Clinton’s Parliament-Funkadelic.
After an early stint as a sideman in various bands, including a 1960s combo that featured Neil Young, James enjoyed break-out success in 1978 with the solo debut album “Come Get It!,” which sold two million copies. A string of hit singles followed, including “You and I,” “Mary Jane” and “Give It To Me Baby.”
“It was the best time of my life,” James told Reuters last year. “We were doing groundbreaking tours, and a lot of drugs and drank a lot. We didn’t know anything about Betty Ford or addiction in those days. It’s hard to reflect and remember those times. They are very vague to me — a lot of it is a haze.”
(Reuters)
Widro: I wonder how many people know him more from Dave Chappelle than they do from his mid-80s hits. I still love “U Can’t Touch This”, and one might argue that there would have been no MC Hammer without Rick James.
Matthew Michael: Fuck Dave Chappelle, who here would know who Rick James was without MC Hammer?
Fernandez: Rick James really didn’t have any sort of personal impact on me or my musical tastes. I couldn’t name a single song he’s done save for “Super Freak,” and if you haven’t heard that one (or at least MC Hammer’s aping of the bass line), then chances are you’ve been in a cave, on Mars, for the past 30 years, with your eyes closed, and your fingers in your ears. “Super Freak” has given Rick James the same recognition as, say, Van McCoy. Who’s Van McCoy, you ask? He’s the guy that did “The Hustle.” What does he have in common with Rick James? Both will forever be remembered for their one song that will always be played at every wedding to ever happen until the apocalypse.
D’Errico: The super-freak is super-dead. James wasn’t an icon, or a legend. He’s probably best known in this day and age as laying the foundation for MC Hammer’s biggest hit. It sad he’s gone, but that’s what happens when you live such a wild life. And at least there’s one thing no one could ever take away from him: “I’m Rick James, bitch!”
Beth: Rick is one of those that you don’t actually realize he’s alive until you read his obituary. Case in point: Julia Child. Lesson here, don’t do drugs. Or at least don’t mix drugs and freaky music. The end result is that you may be forced to “give it to” [him] 6 ft under.
Mathan: I was pretty shocked when I heard about it. My roommate and I were talking about his death, and I remarked that I hoped he was in a better place.
But then I got to thinking; can one get into heaven if you’ve burned another person with a crackpipe?
Now I’m no theology scholar but I’m pretty sure that no god smiles upon actions like that. Again I’m not a really religious guy but isn’t the 13th Commandment “Thou Shalt Not Burneth Other’s With Crack Pipes”?
I am missing the guy though. “Super Freak”, “Give It To Me”, “Fire And Desire” and Eddie Murphy’s “Party All The Time” are classics.
At least he experienced a comeback of sorts before he passed.
Lucard: Who cares? Before Chappelle’s amazingly overplayed schtick about “I’m Rick James, bitch” gave him a slight rehit of fame, he was best known for being a crack addict and psychopath instead of the guy who did Superfreak and let MC Hammer sample one of his tunes for “U can’t touch this.”
He’s not a legend, he’s not innovative, he’s barely even talented. He’s Ike Turner, but you know…dead. A year from now people won’t f*cking care. Remember Sonny Bono dying? No. All you remember is Marie Bono sucking republican cock to get where she is in the party today and Cher getting a new #1 song after crying at his funeral.
Jed: Never was a fan, but I’ll tip a hat to him.
Blottie: A guy who smoked crack near constantly for twenty years dies at fifty-six? Shit, that’s the story right there. Mother f*cker lived until he was FIFTY-SIX. I don’t care what music he made, what girls he beat, what skits he inspired. Rick James smoked enough crack to make up the mass of New Jersey, and lived until he was fifty-six. “Super Freak”? More like “SuperMan”.
Phish Has Final Show, Many Hippies Turned Away
(8/18/04)
Phish may have swum off into jam-band history with this past weekend’s Coventry festival in Vermont, but thousands of fans turned away from the event – many with tickets in hand – are plenty mad, and they’re angling for much more than just an apology.
A week of torrential downpours left parking areas at the Newport State Airport, the site of the festival, badly flooded. According to the band and festival organizers Great Northeast Productions, efforts were made to secure additional parking nearby, but nothing turned up. Citing safety concerns, Phish, Great Northeast and the Vermont state police announced that no more vehicles would be allowed into the festival, leaving many concertgoers stuck in traffic on Interstate 91 with no choice but to head home.
“We probably moved a total of 1,000 feet in the 10 hours we were in traffic. Everyone had to walk into the most tick-infested woods I have ever seen to use the bathroom,” said Eric, a Phish fan from Long Island who declined to give his last name. “[Phish] had set up a radio station, and the DJs kept telling everyone, ‘Remain calm, stay in your cars. We’re letting in 150-250 cars an hour.’ But on Saturday morning, Mike [Gordon, Phish’s bass player,] came on and he said no more cars would be let in.”
But Gordon failed to clarify whether or not any more tickets would be honored, and the confusion sparked an unintended reaction: If no more vehicles were being allowed into Coventry, some fans reasoned, they could still enter the festival on foot.
“My own brother made it in,” Eric said. “Everyone who didn’t leave got in.”
Despite repeated warnings from the state police that abandoned vehicles would be towed, many concertgoers parked their cars on the side of I-91 and walked to the concert site, which for some was more than 20 miles away.
“They told us our cars would be towed. They absolutely said not to park our vehicles on the side of 91,” said Phish fan Jeff Tundis. “So we went home, and that’s when the real frustration set in. We saw news photos and there was a sea of people there. They obviously were still letting people in. We basically lost out on our last chance to see
Phish.”
Neither Gordon nor any other member of Phish could be reached for comment about the confusion, since according to a spokesperson, “Phish is done and no one will be doing any more interviews about Phish.” In an effort to appease fans who were turned away from Coventry, both the band and Great Northern Productions are offering refunds through their Web sites, but that isn’t enough for some fans.
(MTV.com)
Widro: As a brother of a Phish fanatic, I can attest to the impact this is having on the jam fans. They are not happy. They all pretend they care about the well being of the band and their happiness and all that jazz, but down deep they are mad to see them retire.
Matthew Michael: No one ever retires anymore. Not in sports (Deion Sanders), professional wrestling (Hulk Hogan), or anywhere else… the only question is, who will be back on the road first, Jay Z or Trey & Co.?
Fernandez: Oh, boo hoo. While I have been known to enjoy a Phish chOOn here and there (liked the instrumental Siket Disc, and I LOVE Oysterhead, but that’s more of a Claypool thing), I seriously don’t see what makes them so awesome that droves of filthy disgusting hippies would find it pertinent to follow them around the entire country as they perform virtually identical shows in every single city. Wait a minute, yes, I guess I do… DRUGS.
D’Errico: Phish was never anything I was remotely interested in. But they were a cornerstone for a specific music fan. With the passing of the Grateful Dead after Garcia’s death, I think many Deadheads latched onto Phish. With Phish gone, someone else will have to take its place… who’s left now? Max Creek? Strangefolk? moe.? Who knows….?
Beth: Since when does a little rain deter a Phish fan? I thought they were all about the ooey gooey outdoor goodness. And explain to me since when do hippies drive? What happened to carpooling and VW wagons?
Mathan: I wish I could be more sympathetic with the neo hippie plight, but I have to believe that Phish, like Jesus before them, will rise again. Didn’t Michael Jordan comeback? It’s only a matter of time before Phish reunites.
Really, can anyone expect them to just cut off from the “earthy” groupies and patchouli? That is a strong combination, and hard to resist. As a matter of fact it’s the leading cause of neo hippie jam band reunions.
Lucard: Another band I don’t listen too. Hooray! I don’t like their music. But I do feel bad for the fans who missed it. However there was FLASH FLOODING! How can they not understand that the natural disaster is a little more pressing then letting them go to a f*cking concert.
I blame the fans for being psychotic fan boys, Phish for being stupid enough to hold a concert in VERMONT, and them as well for not bothering to reschedule it for a time when a large portion of the paying audience could you know, SEE THEM?
And walking twenty miles to a concert? Hi. Welcome to “I’m a f*cking obsessed nutjob.” Population: Oh god how can there be so many?
Jed: Fuck, they retired? Shit, I didn’t know Phish was still around. Who the hell listens to Phish anyway?
Blottie: Anything I could say has already been said better by Alex Lucard. Phish’s fans are total f*cking whackos, and need to be committed post-haste. Just don’t make me work where they get committed… I hate the smell of patchouli and unwashed underarm.
Pink Floyd’s The Wall to Hit Broadway
(8/5/04)
Its storyline, portraying the fictional life of anti-hero Pink who withdraws into a fantasy world, will be staged on Broadway in New York. The band’s live performances of the album were among the most ambitious spectacles attempted in rock music.
Since its 1979 release, the album, which features hit track “Another Brick in the Wall,” has sold 23m copies.
A film company and former Sony Music boss Thomas Mottle have bought the rights to develop the musical from Roger Waters, who co-founded the band. Waters, the band’s bassist, will write and compose the orchestral arrangements for the New York stage production.
The Wall was turned into a semi-animated 1982 film, starring Bob Geldof as a pop star who descends into madness. It was described as “a vacuous, bombastic and humourless piece of self-indulgence” at the time.
Waters retained the rights to The Wall after an acrimonious departure from the band in the 1980s. He said: “Now I can write in some laughs, notable by their absence in the movie.”
Marimba Films co-chairman Harvey Weinstein said: “I am thrilled to be involved with bringing The Wall to Broadway and to give new generations the opportunity to see this legendary show.”
(BBC)
Fernandez: Being an illustrator, most of what I liked most in The Wall was the animation. I think it would be absolutely obligatory to figure that into the Broadway musical somehow. I’m thinking something along the lines of the elaborate costumes ˆla The Lion King, with large standup hammers marching across the stage. Come to think of it, this might actually be something worth checking out if I’m in New York at the time. Of course, you’d have to be high on some sort of hallucinogen in order to enjoy it to the fullest. Prove me wrong.
D’Errico: Something tells me the majority of fans for this (stoners) aren’t the type to hit Broadway. Still, it’s an interesting piece that will either be a hit or a complete flop. I don’t see any middle ground here.
Beth: Never got why this show was so big. Maybe I should secure some mind-altering drugs from the crew at Phish and then make my way over to Broadway.
Mathan: See, I’ve never done acid, as a result I never “got” Floyd. I remember “The Wall” was a cool song. I hope this does really well. And I’m sure it will, if the tickets are laced with acid.
Lucard: Hey! A band I like. Hey, another crappy Broadway play based on a band. Remember Queen’s play? Man, was that asstastic or what? Or “Our House” based around the tunes of Madness? Who has these ideas? What makes people think this would be profitable. What the hell has happened to the Theatre industry???
I remember I used to pick on this one kid terribly who performed the wall to the 1982 animated version and heckled him with a friend like we were Statler and Waldorf and he was Fozzie Bear.
This is going to suck hard and last less than 6 months on Broadway.
Misha: Hmm, this could either go very right, or very wrong. We’ve had The Who, Queen, Madness and ABBA go down the musical route, and now The Floyd are following along. However, the latter three were “musicals featuring the song of” rather than “Musicals written by”, as The Who’s “Tommy” was.
Jed: As a loyal Floyd fan, I’m torn…the idea of a Broadway version of this could really take the song cycle to new heights. Or, it could blow. Since Rog is involved, I’m leaning towards it being, at the very least, faithful to the original cycle…but whether it’s entertaining (or relevant) is left to the viewing.
Blottie: I think Bloodhound Gang said it best… “All in all, you’re just a…nother dick with no balls.” Mind you, I like Pink Floyd. But the only bands that should have their material turned into Broadway plays are gay, gay, gay. Rufus Wainwright would make a f*cking killer Broadway play. You could make endless Elton John Broadway plays.
Ah, but what of the crap-tastic “Queen” play? Well, there wasn’t enough gay. One gay doesn’t a gay Broadway play make. You need total gayity.
Screw Pink Floyd. We need a Village People Broadway play, stat. Because nothing says “Broadway” like an Indian f*cking a Construction Worker in the ass.
Beatles Trove Found to Be a Fraud
(8/18/04)
It sounded too good to be true. Turns out it probably was. A long-sought trove of rare Beatles material that reportedly was found last month by a lucky British tourist remains lost, a leading Beatles expert says.
Last month, The Times newspaper reported that a suitcase bought by Fraser Claughton, 41, at an Australian flea market for about $35 was packed with Beatles memorabilia, including photos, concert programs and unreleased recordings.
But Pete Nash, a memorabilia expert from the British Beatles Fan Club who examined the contents of the suitcase on behalf of a British television channel, said he saw photocopied ticket stubs, laser-scanned pictures from the 1990s – and no rare reel-to-reel recordings.
“It’s farcical, really,” Nash told The Associated Press.
The Times reported that among the contents of the suitcase was a reel-to-reel tape that included John Lennon and Paul McCartney experimenting with alternative versions of previously unrecorded tracks.
The newspaper quoted an expert with Christie’s auction house as saying the find “sounds very exciting indeed,” but a spokeswoman stressed to the AP that the auction house had not been contacted about evaluating the find and none of its experts had seen it.
The Times had said some experts believed the collection was the lost “Mal Evans archive,” originally belonging to the Beatles’ roadie and sound recordist.
Evans was killed by police in Los Angeles in 1976 after brandishing a fake gun. His belongings were lost during the police investigation and have never been recovered.
Nash said many of the items in the suitcase appeared to be copies, including laser-scanned photos dating from the mid-1990s and ticket stubs for The Beatles’ appearance on “The Ed Sullivan Show” and the premiere of “A Hard Day’s Night” that were reproductions of images from “Lennon Legend,” a book published last year.
“There was nothing to tie it to Mal Evans whatsoever,” Nash said.
He said he asked to see the reel-to-reel tapes but was told “they were locked away in a bank vault.”
“They said the tapes were still housed in their metal canisters,” Nash said. “Audio tape is magnetic. One thing you do not do is store it in metal canisters.”
Nash said he was played some tracks on CD that were “very common (bootleg) tracks that most Beatles collectors would own.”
Geoff Baker, spokesman for The Beatles’ label, Apple Corps, also said he believed the find was a fake.
(The Associated Press)
Widro: Is it really possible to have any lost recordings of the Beatles left? If someone had them, they would have come out by now because they are worth millions.
Matthew Michael: This is a really sad one. Yes, it would have been cool if *I* was the one who found the briefcase full of Beatlebooty, and it was genuine. But seriously, as a fan, I was really hoping for hours and hours of “lost tapes” to be available for Capitol Records to capitalize on, and for me to relish ingesting. Oh, well.
Fernandez: Fuck The Beatles. Fuck their memorabilia, and f*ck anybody who would go out of their way to try and pull a lame-brained hoax like this. Also, f*ck anybody who got really excited over the news that the memorabilia had been found in a briefcase in rural Australia. Hey, guess what, I’ve got the Mal Evans archives right here. That’s right, they’re right where I left them… right inside your mom. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
D’Errico: This was the first I was hearing of this, so to now know it’s a fraud doesn’t illicit any reaction. Whenever a find like this happens it’s taken with a grain of salt so I’m not sure where this leaves said story. The only real thing of interest here anyway would be the demos, and no fans would really care about that until they were available. I’m a fan of the new GnR tracks I’ve heard off Chinese Democracy, but until I can actually have them and listen to them, I’m not too concerned they exist…
Beth: Um, DUH!!
Mathan: This is just sad. Taking advantage of those Boomers, who are close to suffering from mind debilitating diseases that ravage in old age, by playing on love of a bygone era. That man should be ashamed of himself.
But Beatles fans should be ashamed too. Get over it! The Beatles are done! They are 50% deceased! You are never going to hear a Beatles song that you haven’t already heard.
You don’t hear Mel Torme fans being fooled like this. You know why, because Mel Torme fans are grounded in reality.
Beatles fans; is there anything worse in the world?
Lucard: I have never heard of Mal Evans. Nor do I care about him. I guess I don’t get the level of obsession people have with them. They were a good band, but Jesus Christ, this is as bad as Elvis sightings or some other Nation Enquirer story. If there was a hidden treasure trove of Beatles stuff, who would be insane enough to think it would be at a flea market????
And more importantly, what made this Brit think he could pull off a fraud like this? And not get caught? Jesus. The running theme in all these stories are “We’re f*cking idiots. Let’s go stick our tongue in a fan.”
Misha: Oh, look, another fake cache of Beatles stuff. Yes, I know they were an amazing band, and yes, I know they revolutionised the music industry, but PLEASE, people, can we quit the wish-fulfillment speculation? It’s just excessive and silly.
Jed: The minute I heard about this I thought, “Yeah, sure, whatever.” Good thing I didn’t go off half-cocked like some people…oh wait, the entire MEDIA went off? Shit. Sucks to be you. Since nothing existed in the first place, though, is this really a loss?
Blottie: Kinda figured it would be, but I had high hopes, so reported the initial story over at 411. It’s too bad nobody actually READ my news reports over at 411, or else they would be like “When Blottie reported this…”
What’s the problem with taking a little time out and checking out my columns and news bites for once? They’re all short, all can be taken in in just a few seconds, and all entertaining. My upcoming interview with Lovedrug is kickin’, my upcoming reviews are going to make your cocks and/or pussies stand straight up, and my ongoing column with Tom “The Destroyer” D’Errico should be getting both of us limitless pussy from all corners of the globe. But no, you’re too busy reading Alex or Eric or Scott. I USED THEIR FIRST NAMES AND YOU STILL KNEW WHO I WAS TALKING ABOUT! YOU FUCKERS! YOU MOTHER FUCKERS! READ MY COLUMN, YOU PIECES OF SHIT!
Where was I? Oh, yeah, Beatles trove. Yeah, it would have been cool if it were real, but it’s not. Like my fanbase.
Better end it here before I completely kill any chance of getting people to read my material, eh?
