JBL w/Orlando Jordan vs. Charlie Haas w/Miss Jackie
Haas got a nice pop. Back and forth match for a bit. Interesting moonsault by Haas for 2. JBL wins clean.
After the match JBL gets on the mic and says he is unbeatable. He gets the city they are in mixed up. He has some advice for everyone – invest in JBL. Crowd chants for Eddie and JBL says they can chant “JBL” instead because he loves to hear his name. Good heel micwork. Says he isn’t giving Undertaker another chance because he failed. Now he wants a funeral at his expense, and brings out “His Last Ride”. It’s a caddy. And from it emerges… Theodore Long!
He says JBL cant make these decisions and instead it will be JBL vs. Undertaker at No Mercy. In a Hearst match. Which is just like an ambulance match. Where is Mike Awesome in his 70s gear when you need him?
Tag team titles are on the line… NEXT!
Tough Enough Promo (due to overwhelming response, deadline extended to September 22nd. Hmm)
Cool Carlito is here!!! He punks some jabroni and steals his phone. Sorry his name is Carlito Carribean Cool.
Former 411 Raw Reporter Stu Stauber joins us today for some comments.
Stubacca: i love wrestling as much as the next guy, but carribbean cool carlitos is an insult to my intelligence
Widro: does he or does he not remind you of a young, hungry razor ramon
WWE Tag Team Titles
Paul London and Kidman (c) vs. Kenzo and Rene Dupree
Recap of the Kidman hesitation and Heidenreich beatdown from last week. Kidman and London doing well for a while, then Kidman goes up top for the Shooting Star but he hesitates and walks out. He hesitates, then again walks to the back. Cool flipping dropkick by London. Kidman goes to the back. And we’re going to break.
We’re back and it’s Paul London trying his darnest, but he can’t fight alone here. Awesome Russian LegSweep by Kenzo and the heels get the pin and the titles.
Winners and NEW champs: Kenzo and Rene
After the match Dupree does the FRENCH DANCE with the belt at HAROKO’s suggestion! Asks Kenzo to do it too, and they do the dance together! They celebrate.
Stubacca: do we, the wrestling viewer, know ANYTHING about the mysterious and alluring haroko?
London finds Kidman in the back and he’s all pissed. You cost us the match, etc. What do you have to say to me? Kidman: nothing. London didn’t like it.
Booker T finds Long in the back and they have a pow wow.
We’re about halfway, let’s get some guest commentaries from the IWC’s best and brightest minds:
Widro: are you watching smackdown? any funny comments for me?
Grutman: No. I’m not.
Widro: how are you enjoying smackdown?
Flea: i ain’t
Widro: how are you enjoying smackdown?
Hyatte: Donald Trump
Looks like i’m all alone here folks.
All Three Dudleyz vs. Rey Mysterio, RVD and Hardcore Holly
Soon after the Rey gets down to the ring for a 1 on 1 match against Spike, The Dudleyz come in and beat down Rey three on one until Hardcore Holly and RVD make the save. Ref turns the match into a 6 man tag. Match settles down after the crazy opening and Dudleyz have control for a bit. RVDÃƒÆ’Ã†â€™Ãƒâ€šÃ†â€™ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ†â€™ÃƒÆ’Ã†â€™Ãƒâ€š¡ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¢??s nose is bloody! RVD with a 5star on Bubba but he rolls to the floor, and RVD goes back up top to attack Dvon on the floor. Rey Holly and Spike come into the ring, and Rey hits the West Coast Pop for the pin.
Winners: Rey, RVD and Holly
Stubacca: oh sweet the dudleyz
Stubacca: if we could somehow throw haroko into the mix here, it might be watchable
Angle talks to Josh Matthews about how unfair the match is tonight.
John Cena promo. Basically called Booker T gay.
Nice, Carlito is on the beach. He walks along the beach with Palm Trees in the background. You know what he doesnÃƒÆ’Ã†â€™Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¢ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â€šÂ¬ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â€žÂ¢t like on the beach? Kids. They shouldnÃƒÆ’Ã†â€™Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¢ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â€šÂ¬ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â€žÂ¢t be allowed on the beach. They shouldnÃƒÆ’Ã†â€™Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¢ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â€šÂ¬ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â€žÂ¢t be allowed anywhere! He doesnÃƒÆ’Ã†â€™Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â¢ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â€šÂ¬ÃƒÆ’¡Ãƒâ€šÃ¢â€žÂ¢t want the kids of WWE Fans near him or he might beat them down. He has a lesson in cool for everyone.
Paul Heyman watches in the back and loves what he sees from Carlito. Long comes over and after some Heidenreich discussions, Long tells Heyman he has a match with an announcer. TAZZ!@? Nope, Cole? Nope, out comes Smackdown #1 Announcer Funaki! Hilarity ensues for about 10 seconds until Heidenreich comes down and beats him down. Extensively.
Smackdown rewind: Rock gets Rikishi to do the Stinkface on Vince in December 2001.
Raw Rewind: HHH beats down Eugene. Orton beats down Kane.
Michael Cole emerges from the crowd, hiding from Heidenreich.
Lumberjacks: Booker T, The Dudleyz, Dupree, Suzuki, Luther Reigns, THE BASHAM BROTHERS!, RVD, Haas, Rey.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle
Angle continues to control with a rear chin lock. Angle beats down Eddie and finally Eddie makes a comeback. Goes for 2 vertical suplexes but doesn’t hit the third. Eddie contrinues. Now another suplex string and this time he hits all “Three Amigos”. Eddie goes for a superplex but Luther pulls his legs and they both land badly. Angle covers but Eddie kicks out! Angle slam rolled through by Eddie into a pin but the match breaks down very very quickly after Luther and Cena came in. After the whole match breaks down, the Big Show music plays and he comes down and beats up everyone. Announcers are shocked because he wasn’t due back for a couple weeks. Chokeslams for a lot of guys. Tosses Spike into the other Dudleyz on the floor. Chokeslam on Cena. Heabutts. Finally grabs Eddie. Chokeslam. Turns to Angle. He looks angry still. Angle begs off but he gets a chokeslam and The Big Show is Back.
Luther Reigns from behind and starts to take it to the Big Show, and gets some offense in before he eats a chokeslam of his own and we are out of time here on Smackdown.