IRRITATING INTRODUCTION:
Last week’s quote (“Water balloons? Weren’t you paying attention? I had these filled with beer!”) was from Exiles #10, in which Morph decided to fire them all at the rest of the team during a heart-to-heart with Mariko… Oh, you pesky kids. Good luck with this week’s quote – it’s from the 1970’s…
Now – newsflash!
This is the last MNV that I will be doing for the next three weeks, on account of how I am going to be going over to Toronto on holiday. This means YAY!
Fear not, however, we have a veritable plethora of Nexus superstars ready in waiting to do some stand-in columns while I’m gone. Next week you will have the delightful double-act of my DC News & Views counterpart Tim Stevens and the creator of the Watchtower and the Roundtable, Ben Morse. After that, you can look forward to hearing from my arch-nemesis, and scribe of the SD-6 Report and Diner Talk, Jamie Hatton… assuming he’s sober enough, that is. Last but not least, it’s Will Cooling, the latest Daily Pulse writer and resident Across the Pond correspondent. In other words – all people who are better at this than I am.
So, enjoy this final, unbelievably short column and I shall see you in a month!
NECESSARY NEWS & VIVID VIEWS:
Shuffling the Cards:
Newsarama has the necessary information about the departure of Gui Karyo from Marvel, after he voluntarily stepped down as President of Publishing this week. This comes hot on the heels of Andrew Lis, of PR and marketing, standing down earlier in the week to work outside of the comics industry. Karyo had been the President of DecorX.com – an internet speciality printing company – before joining Marvel in 2000 to work on their website, were he initiated the Dotcomics scheme alongside Bill Jemas. Eventually, he moved over to work on the financial side of the publishing sector and saw his responsibilities increase further once Jemas was replaced by Dan Buckley. It’s unknown what – if any – further behind-the-scenes promotions, demotions, hirings, firings, ins, outs, ups, downs and wheelings and dealings will follow in the coming weeks. Will Joe Quesada find himself left as the undisputed Marvel guru? Will Dan Buckley become more hands-on? Will a major corporation, i.e. Sony, buy up Marvel? Will Jemas start his own, oft-rumoured comics company, 360 Squared? Will Karyo join him if this is the case? So many questions, so few answers…
BMB on CBR:
CBR managed to get a few words with Brian Michael Bendis regarding the Avengers Disassembled storyline. In fact, they got a hell of a lot of words with him. It’s a fascinating read and shows once again that Bendis always manages to pick me up, dust me off and show me some platonic love with everything he writes – whether it is an interview or a particularly gruelling issue of Ultimate Spider-Man. No matter what your opinion of Disasuckled, er, Disassembled, might be, you cannot deny the clear affection that Bendis displays for the characters and just how grateful he is to have this opportunity. It also provides yet more evidence that he is a wordy bugger, even more than I am…
“[Disassembled] stems from a long standing nerdy idea, one of those ideas I’ve had since I was 8. Anyone who reads comics had these ideas like ‘wouldn’t it be cool if this’ or ‘wouldn’t it be cool if that’ and we were in our big editorial meeting last year and we got to the Avengers. I started saying my nerdy idea out loud and forgetting that I’m in a situation where I could make it happen- I wasn’t pitching the story, just saying things that I thought would be cool and Mark Millar joined in with similar thoughts. Before the end of the day, after a lot of riffing between Mark and I, it became clear that one of us was writing the Avengers with this idea locked in and I ended up the lucky one, because he’s already got his with The Ultimates. Basically it’s all about the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes tagline, what these characters can be and tapping into what the team has been about – change. Change in members, relationships – this isn’t too different from what Stan [Lee] did when he threw out all the popular characters and put in Hawkeye along with two members of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants – there is a legacy of this kind of thing.”
Oo, that darn pesky Millar corrupting my Brian once again. Bad Mark! Bad! Anyway, as we are all oh-so-aware of by now, the line-up for New Avengers this November will be Captain America, Iron Man, Wolverine, Spider-Man, Luke Cage, Spider-Woman and The Sentry. Here’s what he had to say about these characters…
On the “eternal Avengers”:
“Cap is like the ultimate leader of the team, and I know there’ve been other leaders of the team, but it always seems like Cap was letting them lead the team while he’s really in charge. He’s a super soldier! He’s the quintessential leader while Tony was the father or uncle, who paid the bills and brought the clout. He’s also the guy who believes in the Avengers the most- he put his money where his mouth is and needs to be a part of this group. When rich people pay for stuff, it means they really believe in it.”
What – like the XFL?
On Spider-Man:
“[People are] yelling, ‘He’s not a team guy!’ See that makes it most interesting for me as a writer because you have a guy who doesn’t think he belongs finding out that maybe he does. Cap will ask him, ‘How is this not being a team guy working for you?’ It’s not like Spidey’s life is all that great not on a team, so he’ll try being on a team. He’ll also be surprised at how much respect he gets from the team – Spidey is the hero who’s been through it all and managed to come out intact, something his team-mates recognize and admire – to Peter’s surprise.”
Well, they may admire him being the one with the hottest wife at any rate…
On The Sentry:
“The Sentry is one of the best new creations that Marvel’s had in the last ten years – I think one of the problems that Marvel’s had with their ‘auteur’ writers and artists is that they create characters, but no one else will use them after that. Paul Jenkins creates the Sentry and no one touches it. I just see a great character. So, I called Paul and asked if I could use him and Paul says, ‘Please! Use it! He’s just sitting there.’ That’s where we have to go back to old-school Marvel and not be so precious with our creations. Here’s a hero that no one remembers, but is on par with Thor and the other big hitters? That’s the stuff.”
Dude, The Sentry could take Thor with both arms tied up his arse.
On the others:
“There’ll be a major romance coming out of this. If you wanna know who… there’s only one female character on the team. Its not gonna be Peter Parker and Luke Cage… but you never know [laughs]… Spider-Man can talk to Luke Cage about stuff that he can’t talk to Mary Jane about, not that he doesn’t trust her, but because she can’t relate. Also, a Wolverine war story would be fascinating even to these guys.”
Not to me, it wouldn’t. Jessica Drew embarking on a romance sounds rather intriguing, though. The most interesting twist would of course to be her and Luke Cage start hitting it off and then see how Jessica Jones would react – especially as she is pregnant. Or is that just too, I dunno, what’s the word… oh, yes – good?
On the New Avengers future:
“I will tell old school fans this – we are reintroducing a total of no less than 85 classic villains that have been out of commission for years, no one has used them at all and it’s time to get them back out there! We’ve got the return of the Wrecking Crew, the U-Foes… everyone! We’ll have a handful of new villains and a new idea from where to get villains, just to give a clue, there’s something in Secret War called the Caterpillar File where SHIELD is keeping an eye on bastard children of supervillains just to see how they turn out. [It’s] an idea we’ll explore with the Avengers. You’ll see the return of the classic Inhumans and more new characters that speak to modern time. With the Avenger villains, there’s a true sense that if the team f*cks up, it’s all over. You look at the Korvac Saga or the Kree/Skrull War shit happens that can hurt a lot of people.”
The classic Inhumans, huh? Well, that would explain why Sean McKeever’s Tsunami series is not going to be released in trade or digest format anytime soon [see below]. Too bad, I was looking forward to it as well… It’s about time that the Avengers had some major adversaries though. The sort that really grip onto your balls and twist and squeeze with all their might as you are hurriedly trying to flick through each page whilst taking in every bit of blood, sweat and tears on each and every panel as though your life depended on it. Something that is going to really grab the attention of some 10 year-old kid out there and inspire him to greatness in twenty years time when he gets the chance to make his mark on this cyclical industry. Since practically every major Marvel event in recent years has taken place in the X-Men and Spider-Man books or in special mini-series crossovers, it’s good to see these guys finally getting coming back swinging.
Finally, I just want to point out this little bit of hilarity to you all…
“The titles will be connected tightly, especially since when Mark and I came to the classic Marvel Universe from the Ultimate Universe where we were doing well with keeping our continuity locked solid and all Mark had to do was send me an e-mail…”
Three words, dude:
ULTIMATE
FANTASTIC
FOUR
C’mon, between Ultimate Marvel Team-Up, The Ultimates and their own title, even Gregory the Blind Salamander could see that the ages didn’t balance out in the least…
Still, all in all it is a very interesting interview with the current MVP of Marvel and you should be sure to check out the full thing at some point.
Somewhere right now, Jesse Baker is plotting his revenge…
Homeless:
Over on the Joe Quesada message boards, Robert Morales has been busy talking about his stint on Captain America just as the fifth and final volume of his run – Homeland – is collected as a TPB.
“Thanks for the kind words, guys.
I have to confess great ambivalence toward asking people to buy a collection of a storyline Marvel didn’t think worth continuing. I’d urge people to check it out to see Chris Bachalo at the top of his game – and the great Eddie Campbell having a total lark (that Eddie, btw, goes unmentioned on the trade’s back cover copy is a terrible oversight I hope is corrected in future editions).
But the story – which is what matters most to me, when all is said and done – is not what it might’ve been had it not been waylaid by corporate chimps, esp. given the current turn of the presidential campaign. In fact, Alan Moore lamented to me the other day that it would’ve been great to see cretins question Cap’s war record, had he been running for prez about now. (A process I was starting to examine in the Bucky issue.) Oh, well…
Anyway, here’s to a terrific wind-up of Robert Kirkman’s run and to a great start for Ed Brubaker’s. Best to you all.”
There is something just utterly wonderful about a long-running writer on one of Marvel’s top icons going to the official website of the Marvel editor-in-chief and then bashing the company for lacking the courage of their convictions to follow through on a genuinely intriguing idea. Hell, can you imagine the press they could have made from having Captain F’N America run for president during an election year, in particular one dominated by the fragile state of the world at the moment with terrorism running rampant – even in the Marvel Universe?? Can you imagine the fun that could have been done with that storyline after the ballots were counted, regardless of whether he won or lost?? Christ, Brubaker had better come up with something damn good to make me forget about this ginormous waste of potential…
McKeevermania!
Again, on Joey Q’s message board, Sean McKeever has been talking with Marvel employees Jenny Grunwald (Special Projects Assistant Editor) and David Jay Gabriel (Sales Manager) about the possibilities of an Inhumans collection being released…
“Is there any chance of Marvel collecting the short-lived, acclaimed INHUMANS run from 2003 in digest form? As has been stated elsewhere on this forum (by me, sure, but still…!) this series is teenager GOLD and would sell to them like SUVs to soccer moms. I have personally spoken to at least 40,000 people who said they would buy it, so pretty please? Thank you for your time!”
To which Gabriel replied…
“No chance.”
Only for Grunwald to add…
“Not only do I love the series, but I would like nothing more than to make Sean happy! However, I am not in charge of what books get made; I’m just in charge of making them good! If I ever get an opportunity to push this book towards existence, don’t even think that I won’t try my hardest. Now I have a question of my own Mr. McKeever: Any chance I’ll get to read more Waiting Place in the near future??”
To which McKeever teased…
“Tell you what: if you can get all 12 issues of my Inhumans run reprinted in collected format, I’ll write a new TWP story just for you.”
Before adding…
“I totally consider David and Jen my pals, and we’re all just having a bit of fun. In other words: nothing to see here; move along. But if you do want to see my Inhumans run collected, feel free to write to Marvel Comics, 10 E 40th St, 10th Floor, New York, NY 10016. Attn: Jen Grunwald. (No relation to the late Mark Grunwald, BTW.)”
Then Gail Simone joined in and it all got a bit silly, talking about triple flip books and such…
None of this really has anything to do with any ‘news’ as such, but it does add as a convenient way for me to plug my interview with Sean, which I am assured will be posted this week (presumably as an award for me actually getting this column completed on time for the first time in a month!). Plus, it lets me big up McKeever once again, just for old time’s sake.
Buy Mystique, she needs you!
Join the Inhumans crusade! Follow the fad train! Toot, toot!
Get The Waiting Place trades from SLG! NOW, MISTER!
Normal service shall now be resumed…
Gabbo is Coming!
Newsarama have been talking to Greg Pak, who will be writing the X-Men: Phoenix – Endsong mini-series with art from Greg Land in early 2005, and is currently spearheading the new Warlock series with Charlie Adlard that shall debut this week. Though he doesn’t have a lot of prior experience in writing comic books, he has written a number of screenplays for independent movies, the most famous of which is Robot Stories.
Obviously, since his two titles are going to be dealing with resurrecting dead characters and confound the “dead means dead” rule once more, Pak may be in for some flack about the editorial conceit behind these books. In fact, the series were originally conceived by Marvel editors themselves before he was approached to flesh them out. So where does Pak stand in the ceaselessly controversial subject of dead comic book characters?
“There was a little kid standing in line in front of me at a comic book store the other day. It was a long line, and he waited patiently for a long time before reaching the head. And when he got to the cashier, he didn’t have anything to buy. He just wanted to ask a question: ‘Do you have any Iron Man?’
I loved that kid, man. That’s me, when I was eight years old, waiting eagerly for the next adventures of my favorite comic book character. And what blows my mind is that that kid was all eager and excited about a character that’s several decades old. There’s some real power in these classic characters, something genuinely iconic and mythic which allows them to resonate for multiple generations of readers.
So yes, ideally, dead means dead. If everyone could pop back from the dead every day, short-term storylines would lose their power as the stakes get lowered and the notion of death becomes meaningless. But in the long term, I don’t necessarily have a problem with characters returning. Let’s face it; these classic characters are bigger than any of us; they’re members of a pantheon, part of a shared mythology, which can be explored anew for different generations.
All that being said, please don’t anyone bring back Uncle Ben!”
Pak goes on to describe the various methods of comic book creativity when it comes to dealing with such iconic characters. Some, as with the James Bond movies, really do not need to change all that much to remain popular. Others do need to adapt and this comes down to the creative teams emphasising different aspects of the characters (Pak cites Daredevil as an example of this, using the likes of Matt Murdock’s faith, conflict with organised crime, etc.) or even by playing with genres, as the Alien movies did.
It’s a really interesting interview – complete with preview art for Phoenix – Endsong – that lets you take a peek into the mindset of the man Marvel are proclaiming to be the “greatest writer you’ve never read.” The jury is still out on that one but Pak certainly does seem to be a very interesting man with a sound grasp on the industry and what will be required of him. I wish him all the best of luck and look forward to checking out Warlock as soon as it is financially possible!
Not too sure about Phoenix – Endsong though, but that’s more of a principle thing than anything personal…
CHAD CHANNING????
The Pulse have a special preview of Robert Kirkman’s upcoming Mutant 2099 title, in addition to some comments from the artist on the project, Khary Randolph, who has previously worked on the Spider-Man: Legend of the Spider-Clan Marvel Manga series.
The central character of Mutant 2099 is one Chad Channing. I don’t know about you, but I think this is the greatest name I have ever heard in my entire life. It is also, apparently, the name of the original drummer in Nirvana, so, there you are… Anyway, in this new 2099 universe, all mutants must be registered and Chad just so happens to be number 2099. He is a “mild-mannered” high school student, takes his mutant-suppression pills regularly, and goes about his life quite happily until he locates a secret basement in the Baxter Building that contains the living brain of Reed Richards, rebel leader…
If there is one thing that Kirkman does well, it’s light-hearted and fun teenage superheroics. For those used to the 2099 Universe of old, Randolph’s bright and breezy artwork may come as a shock but it certainly does match Kirkman’s style of writing. As Randolph puts it…
“When I first read the script, I was in love with the story and the potential it had for future stories. It has a light-hearted, traditional superhero type feel, the kind of thing that Kirkman’s really good at. I try to approach every project differently based on what it demands. I don’t like to force a particular style on a story; I’d rather the story dictate what the style of the book will be. First thing I knew was that the art needed to be very vibrant and colourful, so I kept it very open and clean, so that the colourist could go in and really make the art sing. I wanted color to be a prominent part of this project so I worked very closely with the colorist Kanila Tripp to make sure that the line art and the colours merged seamlessly. We went to great lengths to make sure that this wasn’t your average, everyday looking comic book. Every scene in this book has a different color scheme and a different mood to it. We both agreed that since the line art was pretty simple, the color style would be clean as well, not over-rendered or flashy, but simple with good color choices. As I was drawing it I had in mind the idea that this was a big budget animated movie, like Disney without the singing and animals and crap.”
You can check out preview art of the first few pages at the above link. I’d highly recommend that you keep an eye out for this book, due for release on the 29th September. It might be just the tonic for those of you who have been complaining about the serious tone of Marvel’s books in general over the past few years and would like something that is simply fun.
In which case I would need to ask why you haven’t been trying other companies, but still…
Expensive… No More!
ICv2 is reporting the upcoming release of the Amazing Spider-Man Fourtieth Anniversary Collection next month. The collection is in fact a ten CD-ROM set that contains Amazing Fantasy #15 and Amazing Spider-Man #1-500 in their completion – including covers, stories, letter pages, posters, Stan Lee’s Soapboxes, and more – all scanned from the private collection of Ralph Macchio, Marvel editor. All 501 issues can be yours for just $49.99. How cool is that??
The Little Crossover That Could:
Comics Continuum has all the details on one of the most peculiar crossover events you are ever likely to see for Sport’s Illustrated Golf Plus Ryder Cup Preview magazine. It’s written by Paul Jenkins and features art by Paco Medina, and the basic plot is Team USA’s captain, Hal Sutton, bringing in Captain America and the Avengers to try and teach the golfers how to co-operate and work better as a team. The comic will also see appearances from other golfers, including Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, as well as heroes like Spider-Man, Thor, Hulk, Wasp, Dr. Strange and Iron Man. The Ryder Cup itself is on from the 17th – 19th September, but this will be on sale on the 14th and limited to 750,000 copies exclusively distributed to Sport’s Illustrated Golf Plus readers. Check out the above link for a preview of the comic… Hulk playing golf is too cute for words!
Beta Ray Bill:
The Pulse is reporting that Beta Ray Bill shall soon be starring in his own mini-series, written by Mike Avon Oeming of Thor and Powers and his co-writer on Thor, Dan Berman. I can’t really say that this news means a great deal to me but I am sure some of you good, good people out there are quite literally masturbating with glee at this titbit. You can also go to the Fanboy Radio homepage to listen to the announcement directly. There are no further details to report at this time but keep your eyes peeled. And by peeled, I mean ‘opened’ and not literally peeled.
I am the undisputed king of unimportant safety tips!
British Marvel Comics Update Thingy:
Okay, so back in the ’80s there was a hugely successful overseas line called Marvel UK. I can’t remember what country they worked in. Anyway, after the great market crash of the ’90s and Marvel falling into bankruptcy, they split themselves off from the parent company to form a very lucrative company named Panini that offered reprints of the USA comics and some brand new material revolving around the choicest children’s TV and toyline properties of the moment. This spread throughout a lot of different areas and Panini now operates very successfully in the UK, Brazil, Germany, Italy and France.
Well, let me give you in the UK a heads up to what Amazon UK are currently offering – Neil Gaiman’s 1602 TPB! The “proper” 1602 HC hasn’t even been released yet, and the “proper” TPB won’t be out until some point in 2005, so you might want to head on over there and pick it up for just £12.99.
Similarly, Panini have started their own line of digest-sized Marvel books. These ones reprint classic stories in full colour and offer up to eight issues per book for just £3.99! Currently the following books are on offer at Amazon UK…
Amazing Spider-Man – The Wings of the Vulture
Amazing Spider-Man – Enter the Goblin
Incredible Hulk – The Coming of the Hulk!
Uncanny X-Men – Second Genesis!
These have also been spotted at various UK book stores up and down the country, including Waterstone’s and Ottakar’s, so keep an eye out for them in your graphic novel section. Circumvent the Masterworks and Essentials, people!!
Ahem. Also, it has been rumoured that Panini shall soon be adding Spain to their market area. Strangely enough, Spain is the second biggest country for Marvel comics in the world behind the USA and is in fact more lucrative than Canada or the UK. The current license has been held by Planeta-DeAgostini since 1982, yet rumours persist that Panini shall soon be sweeping into the fray to collect all the goodies themselves. Head here for bilingual fun and more information!
MARVELLOUS MOVIES:
Blade Trinity:
Comics Continuum has thumbnail images of the new trailer available. The trailer will soon be appearing in a theatre near you and was recently debuted on E! News Live, whatever the hell that is. Anyway, some highlights include the orange-skinned shininess of Jessica Biel. A definite lowlight is this> which just doesn’t look the same with a hooped polo shirt and no water bottle… I couldn’t find the new trailer online, but the teaser can still be found at the official site. It lacks Triple H but makes up for it in, um, Stephen Dorff flashbacks?
Fantastic Four:
Coming Soon has been talking to Chris “Human Storm… Johnny Torch… Aw, crap…” Evans about his crap new movie, Cellular, but also managed to get a few comments about the FF movie from him too. My comments are in bold…
“It’s tough to say no to superhero. I think it’s every little kid’s dream is to be a superhero. What guy here didn’t wrap a towel around their shirt and run around the living room… [me] I had Dr. Doom growing up; I had the action figure of Dr. Doom. And he kicked a lot of ass as I remember. [the Beyonder disagrees] I didn’t know much about this one in particular. As soon as I read the script, I went out and bought some of the comic books just before the audition to brush up a little bit. And it was cool cause I had some buddies who were like “Dude, Fantastic Four!” [dude, where’s my Fantasticar?] I think within the Marvel family, it’s up there… [Meh…] I was reading some article on the internet that said that Fantastic Four is first royal family of comic books. [technically, that would be the El family] Up until Fantastic Four, it was just sole, Batman, Spider-Man, just these individual superheroes. It was the first grouping of superheroes [nope]; it’s a family unit essentially. We really have a good dynamic. You obviously mix in the special effects; we’re going to have great effects with the fire and the stretching arms. And Michael Chiklis plays the Thing who is a pretty well known. [what? Cauliflower?] I didn’t know the comic book, but I knew that guy…Everyone is great. Everyone is so excited and dedicated. It’s a little different than the other stuff. I see the trailer in my head. [I see Jennifer Garner in my head] If I wasn’t doing it, I know I’d want to see it. [I’d want to do… nah, best not go there…]“
Hulk 2:
Superhero Hype is reporting that Avi Arad shall shortly be making an announcement about this oft-discussed sequel, namely regarding who the director will be. Also, Michael France – who co-wrote the first film with John Turman and James Schamus – has been recruited to write a first draft of the screenplay and try to showcase the Hulk in a more superhero role than he was in the original. Unsurprisingly, France’s other credits include the Fantastic Four and The Punisher. It’s hard to say what directors they should be trying to recruit when they seem to be going the complete opposite from the original film, trying to make some simplistic fluff that appeals directly to the lowest common denominator. The last man that tried to do that was one Mr. J. Schumacher, and look how well that turned out. Face it, there was nothing actually wrong with the first movie itself, only the manner in which it was marketed. I mean, really, Burger King Kids Club Meals? Have you no shame?
Iron Man:
Rumours continue to spread that Tom Cruise may not be so interested in playing Tony Stark on the big screen after all. Lying in the Gutters is, frankly, a delightfully unintentional pun for a piece on Iron Man. It also says that the declining box office returns and cooling critical receptions of most of the recent slew of comic book movies may have left the studios unwilling to cough up the required paycheck someone of Cruise’s status would demand. Since he is now practically guaranteed to make anywhere up to a billion dollars for War of the Worlds and doesn’t need to bother taking any risks on something like this, not to mention Mission Impossible 3 still on the horizon, I wouldn’t expect Cruise to be donning the armour anytime soon.
Do you want to know who should?
Are you ready to find out?
It is… or at least should be…
Billy Crudup.
Hell yeah.
The Punisher:
Comics Continuum has a couple of interviews posted to coincide with the release of The Punisher on DVD. The first one is with director Jonathan Hensleigh. It was actually Hensleigh’s first directing job, although he had worked on many action flicks before, including Die Hard and Con Air among others, as a writer and producer. Here are a few snippets regarding his interest in the comics and plans for the sequel, which looks set to be going forward (albeit slowly):
“I read every single Punisher comic I could get. There might have been a couple that slipped through, but I went all the way back. I had to cull certain aspects from some of the comics, but then had to whole scale all the rest of it with the plot. I took the character Frank Castle, the Punisher, and all that from the comic series, but I invented a great deal.
This is the origin story, and I didn’t want the origin story to be the first act. I wanted the origin story to take the entire film. So I was interested mostly in the underlying event, which is the murder of Frank Castle’s family. And then, secondarily, that moment or series of visuals where Frank Castle, really like the metamorphosis of an insect from a cocoon, springs forth as The Punisher.
And I started to build the movie backwards from that. The underlying event and where he really becomes the guy, with the wardrobe and the hair and the guns and the whole bit.
I’d like to stick with the general tone of Garth Ennis from the Welcome Back, Frank series. I really love that. But there’s been some pieces that I’m going too cull from the entire series of comics. And probably some original bits as well. This one’s going to be a little bit more of a soup. Bits and pieces taken from all the comics, but still that same tone.“
They also speak to none other than Big Sexy himself, Kevin Nash. He’s a Marvel boy (YAY!), whose favourite character is Captain America (BOO!) and mentions his immortal role as the Super Shredder (YAY!). Plus, the article has a picture of him in that stupid Tugboat T-shirt from the movie! YAY!
Man, I never thought I would get to talk about Kevin Nash since leaving the wrestling section… Happy days…
Incidentally, the DVD sold 1.2 million copies on its first day in stores (7th Sept), with about half of those going to rental stores. I have no idea what that means but apparently it’s good news, so the sequel would definitely appear to be a go. Let’s just hope that Thomas Jane’s fine performance is showcased in a far better script this time around…
X-Men 3:
Production Weekly, which I am assured is practically always right in its reports, Joss Whedon HAS been signed as director of X3 and production will begin in Vancouver in June 2005. As I have been saying from day one of doing this report, there quite simply is NO BETTER CHOICE for this project. Hell, I would even deliberately have picked Whedon over Singer had I been given the chance and I am still not entirely convinced that wasn’t what happened since Singer is still rumoured to be involved as a producer and/or co-writer. Ah, I love a good conspiracy theory… Still, this is remarkably similar to how Whedon was hired for Astonishing X-Men. The rumours circulated for months before anything was officially announced and had become so widespread and in-depth that by the time the announcement was made, it was something of an anti-climax. You want to know what won’t be an anti-climax? A Joss Whedon directed X-Men 3!!! So hurry up!!!
Anyway, in related news, X-Men: Evolution – Mystique’s Revenge will be released on the 23rd November. It collects five episodes from the second season, including the finale, and will cost $14.97. You can check out the box-art here and see Cyclops and Nightcrawler checking out Wolverine’s ripe, firm buttocks.
PULSATING PREVIEWS:
Once again, I have the pleasant privilege of being joined by my chucklesome chum, the doctor of dysfunction, the mayor of mirth, and the man with the funniest middle name I have heard in all of today – NICK PIERS – to take a peek at these special online previews available all over the web. His AIM handle is RedWave247, mine is… well, I’ll leave that for you to figure out. Anyway, on with the righteous ranting!
RedWave247 – You know when Cable was the best? When he was doing the whole international military fighter, ala Soldier X and such. I have the first two trades before it was switched to Soldier X (don’t think that was released in trade) and it’s nothing short of awesome.
KingKongBurnside – I so don’t care about either of them.
RedWave247 – Deadpool was one hilarious comic before it was cancelled or threatened to be cancelled numerous times. People were placing bets between it and Spidergirl.
KingKongBurnside – Really, they are right down there with caffeine-free cola and Luxembourg on things I couldn’t give a hoot about. And I like my hoot! Oh, and HYPHENATE! DAMMIT, PIERS!
RedWave247 – What?! I said Spider-Girl!!
KingKongBurnside – Alright then… I need to house-train you…
RedWave247 – I love the artwork, though. I always thought Zircher was a great artist when I first saw his work in Nightwing issues.
KingKongBurnside – Anyway that fight scene in this preview reminds me of the one between Neo and Not Jet Li in Matrix Reloaded… utterly pointless and nothing but fanboy showcasing…
RedWave247 – But the art’s pretty!
KingKongBurnside I can’t even make half the stuff out! My eyes hurt!
RedWave247 – You suck. I can make it out just fine.
KingKongBurnside – I only suck quality and this isn’t it. BURN!
RedWave247 – Feh. I can’t care about this mini-series or regular series, whatever it is. But I like Zircher’s art. Next?
KingKongBurnside – Look at the cover!!!
RedWave247 – “Who is behind the assassination attempts against the Widow? It’s a voice from the past you gotta see to believe.” I know who it is! I KNOW! It’s Slapstick! The living cartoon in the Marvel Universe! He’s gone bad and is taking out the Widow! It’s Toonsday for Daredevil!
KingKongBurnside – Look at the cover!!!!
RedWave247 – Yes, yes. It’s a woman in tight black leather. Calm down, Burnside.
KingKongBurnside – A HOT woman in tight black leather…
RedWave247 – That looks a little like Chloe?
KingKongBurnside – Mmmmmm…. Chloe…..
RedWave247 – Still, it looks like the Bendis/Maleev train of Daredevil awesomeness continues. Can’t wait for the next HC.
KingKongBurnside – Isn’t it Jae Lee now?
RedWave247 – Oop. You’re right. Wow, it looks a lot of like Maleev’s work.
KingKongBurnside – Yeah, very familiar. A lot better than Lee’s stuff on Transformers/G.I. Joe and Hulk/Thing anyway. But… shouldn’t Fury have known about the DD/Murdock thing by now?
RedWave247 – I thought he did?
KingKongBurnside – Maybe I’m misreading this thing. I might be suffering from Xornitis. Look at the cover!
RedWave247 – Enough of that! Next?
RedWave247 – First thought: As big a fan of Kirkman I am, I just don’t understand where this man finds the time to write this much. I swear the man can clone himself or something.
KingKongBurnside – I think he’s even out-writing Bendis at the moment.
RedWave247 – He’s out-writing Bendis AND (the guy writing Action Comics that everyone hates, what’s his name?)
KingKongBurnside – Jesse Baker?
RedWave247 – Um, no. That’s our resident reviewer.
KingKongBurnside – ZING!
RedWave247 – Chuck Austen.
KingKongBurnside – Ahem.
RedWave247 – That’s it.
KingKongBurnside – Anyway, this actually looked like a decent little issue.
RedWave247 – First thoughts on DD 2099: What the heck is Lex Luthor doing in this comic?
KingKongBurnside – No, it’s Lexavier…
RedWave247 – Ahhhh, Jean Luc Lexavier?
KingKongBurnside – GET OFF MY BRIDGE, CRUSHER!! I’LL SET WORF ON YOUR SMOOTH, FINE ASS, YOU LITTLE $h!t! Ahem…
RedWave247 – Well, neat concept but I’m not sold on the idea of bringing back the 2099 universe. Sure, it’s nice to look back with fond memories, but when it started to get over exposed with too many books (Ravage, Ghost Rider, Punisher, Fantastic Four 2099), it lost its flavour.
KingKongBurnside – Only Mutant 2099 will be ongoing; all the others are one-shots. Although presumably they will guest star in that book at some point. Kinda like Spider-Girl and the MC2 Universe, I guess.
RedWave247 – Sure, just what we need. Another mutant book… Blasted muties… Great artwork by Epting and Kirkman still rules, but I can’t say I’m all that interested in a 2099 revival.
KingKongBurnside – Not even a Kirkman sponsored 2099?
RedWave247 – As long as it doesn’t interfere with Invincible, I’m happy.
RedWave247 – Oh joy! A Dissuckled tie-in!!!
KingKongBurnside – Okay, before we read it look at the solicitation text. It makes no sense.
RedWave247 – Part 2 of 3 AND part 1 of 1?
KingKongBurnside – We’re arcing the arcs!!!
RedWave247 – Hey, remember that time when they had the Fall of Metropolis crossed over with the Milestone Comics crossover? It was part one in both cases!
KingKongBurnside – No, but that sounds like a hoot!
RedWave247 – Well, it all seems neat but I have no idea what’s going on since it’s the middle of the arc. But it looks like its business as usual at Casa Waid/Wieringo. I’m sure it’s awesome. Even with the crappy solicitation. And the Dissuckled tie-in.
KingKongBurnside – Poor old Manhattan just got torn apart by Xorn’s impersonated brother of Magneto (I think…) and now it’s being lifted into space? Kay… Funny stuff from the Thing at least. “So he can be a moron in TWO languages…”
RedWave247 – Don’t make me hurt you. I’m still recovering from that headache about Xorn earlier. The Thing always rules. No writer can write him wrong.
KingKongBurnside – “Accessorisin’?”
RedWave247 – Though I bet Austen could destroy that idea.
KingKongBurnside – Austen or Bruce Jones… apparently…
RedWave247 – I’m scared to see what Jones’ conclusion to Hulk is like. Maybe it’ll read better in HC format…if Marvel even bothers to finish it.
KingKongBurnside – Next up is The Book That Nobody Wanted. With the world’s funniest cover. Captain Fat and the Light Sabre of Penis Envy.
RedWave247 – This is Marvel’s attempt at a modern JSA. But without James Robinson, Geoff Johns and/or David Goyer, it’s gonna suck.
KingKongBurnside – Plus, people cared about JSA to begin with.
RedWave247 – Exactly. The Invaders haven’t been used in decades. They made a brief appearance in Marvels, but that’s about it.
KingKongBurnside – They were all too busy trying on their Xorn outfits.
RedWave247 – And is that supposed to be Namor? That looks terrible!
KingKongBurnside – It’s The Rock!
RedWave247 – Can you smell what the Sea King is cookin’?!
KingKongBurnside – Susie Q Pie!
RedWave247 – Next thing you know, Marvel will do a one-shot called Namor: This is Your Life with Deadpool playing Foley’s part… Come to think of it, I’d pay to see that.
KingKongBurnside – Me too. I wouldn’t pay to read this though.
RedWave247 – I’m surprised anyone is… And what’s Ghost Rider doing on the team?!
KingKongBurnside – He’s taking the piss, that’s what he’s doing.
RedWave247 – Wow. The solicitation has two things going against it: Dissuckled AND an evil doppelganger from pre-Heroes Reborn. Remember when we had a time travelling teenage Tony Stark as Iron Man? Yeah, I wish I could forget it, too.
KingKongBurnside – Was he Xorn’s cousin?
RedWave247 – No, I think it was Joseph.
KingKongBurnside – Joseph?? Oh man, that’s below the belt…
RedWave247 – Or maybe Ben Reilly.
KingKongBurnside – Hey! Reilly was the f@#£!&g Dude!
RedWave247 – Yeah, I can agree with that. But the clone saga was an earth-shattering, event changing storyline that was over-hyped, over-exaggerated and everything eventually went back to normal.
KingKongBurnside – Substitute “the clone saga” for “any comics event ever written” and you’d be onto something.
RedWave247 – Including Dissuckled?
KingKongBurnside – Oh yes.
RedWave247 – “Everything will change forever!! Well, until we feel like changing it back”
KingKongBurnside – At which point the dreaded “because YOU, THE FANS, demanded it” spiel will begin.
RedWave247 – “Despite you demanding us not to do these changes in the first place!”
KingKongBurnside – I demand them to let me have Kitty’s number but they never listen…
RedWave247 – Huh. Going through these preview pages, I can’t help but wonder if this is the Iron Man armour that came to life a few years ago. That was a wicked, self-contained story.
KingKongBurnside – It could very well be. I quite liked the art in this.
RedWave247 – Yeah, it’s like a mix of Mignola and Allred. Hippy but dark. Oh, it’s Tony Harris! Wow…I had no idea. His style is so different from his work in Ex Machina.
KingKongBurnside – The book is just killing time till Ellis comes on it though, so none of this matters… Ellis and ADI GRANOV! Now there’s some nice art!
KingKongBurnside – Hey, it’s Dust! I wondered where she was.
RedWave247 – Okay, first off about (not the) New X-Men? I absolutely love the art. And since when could Dust speak English?
KingKongBurnside – I didn’t think Dust could even speak…
RedWave247 – Couldn’t she just say one word, which was “Dust” in Arabic or something?
KingKongBurnside – I just automatically think of Dunst when I see her name, as in Kirsten, as in Bring It On, as in her and Eliza Dushku in bikinis and cheerleader outfits…
RedWave247 – Surprised you never did a “VAAAAUGHAN” thing for Eliza.
KingKongBurnside – Oh, I do, but it can never be typed…
RedWave247 – Ewww.
KingKongBurnside – Dir-tee
RedWave247 – That’s dirty with a capital DUR!
KingKongBurnside – What do we make of this issue anyway? Do we even care?
RedWave247 – Honestly? I think I might. It’s smartly written, but I’m confused about Dust being able to speak English so fluently suddenly.
KingKongBurnside – I heard good things about the New Mutants run but I never made it past #1 myself. Maybe it is worthwhile for X-philes, I dunno…
RedWave247 – I’m actually a little intrigued by this. It’s within the confines of Reboot or whatever they called it. But this caught my eye. I may have to get the trade.
KingKongBurnside – Shame about the title.
RedWave247 – That’s Marvel’s fault, not Morrison’s or Weir’s.
RedWave247 – MORE 2099?
KingKongBurnside – Oh yes. One-shots for the MK anniversary, remember?
RedWave247 – Yeah, yeah, I know. So wait…is this 2099 completely separate from the old one?
KingKongBurnside – Totally… My first thoughts were that Punisher has boobies growing through her skull…
RedWave247 – Ooh. Man, Kirkman must’ve been accessing Garth Ennis’ mind for this one. I gotta say, I’m intrigued.
KingKongBurnside – It reminded me of the Connors from T2.
RedWave247 – Neat mother/son relationship going, too. And yeah, definite reminding of T2.
KingKongBurnside – Although she’s not as buff as Linda Hamilton…
RedWave247 – I’ll be curious to see what the relation to Castle is.
KingKongBurnside – She’s meant to be his daughter.
RedWave247 – I figured as much.
KingKongBurnside – The whole line is about descendants, it seems.
RedWave247 – That would make sense, but Castle’s not the type to get involved with someone. Which makes me even more interested.
KingKongBurnside – I wouldn’t going expecting any revelations in what is basically a one-shot… Me no do grammar bad…
RedWave247 – No, but they’d have to do SOME kind of quick back story. “Your grandfather…” or something.
KingKongBurnside – Who would you want the grandmother to be?
RedWave247 – CHLOE!!!
KingKongBurnside – That’s just twisted, brother…
RedWave247 – Ain’t it, though?
KingKongBurnside – So are you tempted enough to pick it up?
RedWave247 – Nah, since I’m on a budget. But I’ll flip through it at the store. And maybe get the trade if they do a collection of all the one-shots.
KingKongBurnside – Oh you just know that they will…
RedWave247 – Then I’ll more than likely pick it up!
KingKongBurnside – A success! Whodathunkit?
RedWave247 – It’s Kirkman. I’d give anything for his table scraps…
RedWave247 – I’ve gotta say, I picked up the first two Rucka trades that are out so far. He’s written the best damn Wolverine ever, in my opinion. Not costumes, no big time superheroics, etc. That’s not what Wolverine really is.
KingKongBurnside – Maybe but Nightcrawler still looks like a gimp on the cover. And page one is SO a Jesse Custer rip off, but I can forgive that…
RedWave247 – Yeah, the tail is ridiculously long, but you can’t blame Robertson for that. He’s been used to drawing Kurt in regular clothes and looking non-superheroy. How is it a Custer rip-off?
KingKongBurnside – Preacher entering a bar with an off-the-cuff, slightly smug remark to an unsuspecting worker/patron?
RedWave247 – Eh, I suppose. I just look at it as the beginning of the story.
KingKongBurnside – If you have read the other arcs do you have any idea what this one is about?
RedWave247 – None. Each arc has been self contained. I seem to recall hearing that the girl that Wolverine is with was a result of the Weapon X project.
KingKongBurnside – GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Where’s that chairshot smiley…
RedWave247 – There is NONE! Not for here!
KingKongBurnside – DAMMIT, PIERS! How much longer do we have to put up with this Weapon X shite for????
RedWave247 – It’s Wolverine, its part of the territory, bub. I hate that Rucka’s final arc revolved around Weapon X and Sabretooth. Why it couldn’t be like his first two wicked arcs is beyond me.
KingKongBurnside – Why he felt the need to make it seven issues long is beyond me…
RedWave247 – Why Marvel wants to return to costumes for the X-Men is beyond me… Why we haven’t moved to the next preview is beyond me.
KingKongBurnside – Because I am making a cup of coffee, so hold tight…
RedWave247 – Oh sure. Marvel goes and teases us that this is the end of Wolverine. Why do they toy with our emotions? The last Wolverine story ever would seem to say that we’ll never see Wolverine again…except in Avengers, X-Men, Alpha Flight, Runaways, Powers, Justice League….
KingKongBurnside – Calvin & Hobbs, Peanuts, the New York Times, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, Star Wars Episode 3, Legoland Official Brochure, Thomson Summer Sun holiday planner, www.google.com, WWE Unforgiven 2004, Sims 2…
RedWave247 – Why do they tease me, Burnside? Why?
KingKongBurnside – Because you’re such an easy target… You need to get a good poker face, like me.
RedWave247 – Why, is it the same face you make when you look at dirty websites?
KingKongBurnside – Yes.
RedWave247 – Moving on, for the love of God.
KingKongBurnside – This is also gonna be Austen’s LAST X-MEN STORY! Before he is replaced by PETER MILLIGAN!
RedWave247 – And there was much rejoicing. And a shrug from me since I didn’t read it either way.
KingKongBurnside – DC can deal with him now. Even this preview just looks like dreck…
RedWave247 – Whoa! Check out the elephant man! That rules!
KingKongBurnside – We are evil men! We are good men! I choose you! FIGHT! Wahhh! Oh, piss off; I’m trying to sleep…
RedWave247 – Huh. No segues at all. “Here’s the bad guys! Here’s the good guys!” Not bad artwork by Larroca but man, what exactly is the plot supposed to be again?
KingKongBurnside – Apparently the “Xorn” on this team is now the brother of the other Xorn. What that means I have absolutely no idea. There was a Magneto impersonator dressed as the brother of some dude called Xorn in China? WTF? Can we just throw in an alternate future self there and be done with it?
RedWave247 – You just hurt my head.
KingKongBurnside – I am ashamed.
RedWave247 – Yeah really. Just have the Xorn join the Exiles or something.
KingKongBurnside – Just have Xorn open a tea shop in Camden.
RedWave247 – Or teach basking weaving to clams.
KingKongBurnside – Or make an album of Joni Mitchell covers.
RedWave247 – Can we go away now?
KingKongBurnside – Please…
LOVELY LINKS:
There’s a brief interview with Astonishing X-Men editor Mike Marts available here. Nothing much is said but you can see some lovely Cassaday artwork in a preview of issue #5
Do you want to get some Spider-Man reduced sugar milk in your school cafeteria? ComiX-Fan has the details. I don’t really care, but Super Size Me was a fantastic documentary… A shame it will be overshadowed by Fahrenheit 9/11 at the Oscars…
Kim Howard Johnson talks about his short story in Spider-Man Unlimited #5, which was previewed here last week…
Tim reviews Hulk/Thing: Hard Knocks #1 and waxes nostalgic for 1987. Hey, that’s the year I started watching wrestling! These are the days of our lives… Oh, and he also reviews Bullseye: Greatest Hits #1 because he loves you all that much! Finally, he also takes time out from dissing Jesse to review Avengers #501. Maybe we should review Jesse and diss Avengers? Finally, in his quest to become the Wolverine of the Nexus, he review Spider-Man #6 and Captain America #31. Holy crap, dude! Get some sleep or something…
Jamie reviews Exiles #52 and yells DOOOOOM!!! quite a bit. He also reviews Jubilee #1, which is actually the best review I’ve read in a long time, so go and check that out. You should also go and check out the first of his many Alias reviews over in the new TV section. That’s Alias with my future wife Jennifer Garner, not Alias with Luke Cage’s girl Jessica Jones… Also, in a last minute addition to the column, he has only gone and reviewed The Pulse #5 and District X #5, hasn’t he? What a little trooper!
Mike reviews Spider-Girl #78 and demands digests, baby!!! C’mon, Joe, get ’em on the racks already!!
Paul reviews Ultimate Spider-Man #65 and good lord, Marvel had better rush-release this in HC so I can read the story.
Nick, the Blue Beetle to my Booster Gold, reviews Secret Wars. No, not that one… Yeah, that one… I know, isn’t he? Don’t be too hard on him though, he also reviews the ludicrously expensive JLA/Avengers HC for your viewing pleasure.
Finally, to balance out all that Piers with something digestible, go and read my review of Street Angel #3… ZING!
As always, check out the official Street Angel site for more information, as well as Jim Rugg’s recent interview with CBR for a preview of issue #4 and Project: Superior, featuring… AFRODISIAC!!!
Oh, and go check out Jeffrey Fernandez’s Saturday Swindle Sheet #60 over in the music zone, for none other than yours truly is on the Jukebox, baby! Fernandez will also take good care of you, providing you all with the juicy music news that you could possibly crave in his usual wonderful manner. Yes, even you over there, swigging that ashtray can of beer… you’re welcome too…
Who wants to read IGN’s review of the Watchmen movie script? Apparently they have changed the ending…
Last but most definitely not least – hang on, must change Winamp from “Madonna” to “something not shite”… ah, Strokes, better – those pesky young scamps Giffen and DeMatteis are back with their new, creator-owned title, Hero Squared and you have just got to check out the special adverts they have put up online. Friggin’ hilarious.
CRAZY CREDITS:
This column has been brought to you in conjunction with…
The Clash’s The Singles
Led Zeppelin’s BBC Sessions
AOL IM: KingKongBurnside
Iain Burnside is currently heavily medicated, puking his guts up and crapping his bowels out…
