InsidePulse RAW Report

Welcome to RAW coming to you live from… somewhere! Uhm, Tuscon, Arizona!

PK is taking a Scott Keith-like sabbatical from RAW, and Brad Jannetty is MIA (but hopefully okay post-Ivan), so filling in for now is me, Matthew Michael, with some quick & dirty LIVE running commentary from tonight’s RAW (mostly Sports Entertainment and angle focused — I’ll let Keith give you play-by-play and Eric hook you up with the Short Form tomorrow)… OH, and Eric, I’m still not convinced WWE’s giving up on their tag scene. With Rhyno/Tajiri, Hurricane/Rosey, Benoit/Regal, and Flair/Batista on RAW, the only problem is that three of those teams need NAMES. Otherwise, that’s not a bad few teams to build on…

RAW Preview from WWE.com:

Finally, what is the condition of the pregnant Lita after suffering a horrible injury last week? Tune in to RAW this Monday to find out more.

Well, let’s find out more!

The show opens, and Vince McMahon is out right off the bat to make his big announcement: on Tuesday, October 19th, “Taboo Tuesday” will be “the ultimate in fan participation” where fans decide what happens all night long. Additionally, Vince said that at the PPV, GM Eric Bischoff will be considered an active wrestler, and face his nephew Eugene! Dinsmore comes out, and Bischoff tries to convince him that he doesn’t really want to fight his uncle (Eric still has a cane due to the sledge Randy Orton dropped on his foot, and Dinsmore’s arm is in a sling due to the shoulder injury he suffered at the hands of HHH), but Eugene throws Eric to the floor, spins around like an airplane, hugs a disgusted Vince, and that’s that.

Some possible stipulations Vince threw out there for consideration included:

– Loser is the winner’s servant for a period of time
– Loser wears a dress
– Hair vs. Hair

J.R. and the King preview the six-man tag, Jericho vs. Michaels for the Intercontinental Championship, the announcement of the Diva Search winner, and show video from the closing angle from last week setting up the 6-man…

[commercial break]

Stacy and Victoria vs. Trish and Molly
– Nothing, back and forth match, including lots of commentary about everything NOT regarding the match.
Winners: Stacy and Victoria, after Stacy pins Molly with a backslide.

[commercial break, including a promo for the 5th Anniversary Show of Smackdown, pimping appearances by Hogan, Austin, Foley, etc.]

We’re back, and they show the diva search contestants preparing for their moment of truth by applying makeup…

Randy’s reading RAW Magazine with HHH shoving the Big Gold Belt in his face on the cover. Vince says that at Taboo Tuesday, Randy has an opportunity to show he deserves the World Title, since the fans determine who faces HHH for the World Title at the PPV, and not only does who wins the 6-man match tonight matter, but HOW they win. Randy says “R-K-O” are the most important three letters in wrestling. Vince wishes him luck.

Superstar Billy Graham’s in the audience!

They show Lita/Kane/Snitsky clips from last week’s RAW, and then follow up with an interview with the man… the myth… the legend! GENE SNITSKY HIMSELF!!! Snitsky says it wasn’t his fault what happened to Lita, he wasn’t nervous during the match, and then his eyes bulge out.

[commercial break, including a promo for the JBL vs. Foley debate on the U.S. presidential election]

Todd Grishman is in front of Lita’s hospital door, and will have an EXCLUSIVE interview with Kane about Lita’s condition after this match…

Hurricane w/Rosey vs. Tajiri w/Rhyno
– Hurricane gives a mask to a kid in the front row, as they show highlights of Rhyno pinning Rosey to give the former ECW stars a win on HEAT last night.
Winner: Tajiri, reversing Hurricane’s pinfall attempt when it looked like the superhero had it won.

After the match, Hurricane looks upset and TAKES THE MASK BACK FROM THE KID AT RINGSIDE!

Todd Grisham’s at the hospital, interviewing Kane, who’s donning a black polo shirt? Kane says – in an uncharacteristically subdued tone – that there’s only a 50/50 chance that they can save the baby, this isn’t one of Lita’s better days, and – finally getting angry and animated – that Snitsky hitting Kane in the back with a steel chair was “no accident” and he is, no matter what happens, a “dead man.” Hmm…

[commercial break, including a promo for SD PPV No Mercy, at Continental Airlines Arena in NJ, featuring Taker vs. JBL in a “Last Ride” match and Cena vs. Booker for the U.S. Title]

We’re back, and they show the “Highlight Reel” from last week, where Christian and Michaels had a confrontation, then a plug for this Wednesday’s Wrestlemania 21 press conference, scheduled for 12 Noon at the Staples Center in Los Angeles.

Chris Jericho [c] vs. Shawn Michaels – Intercontinental Championship
– J.R. mentions that Shawn, the 3x champion, hasn’t been IC Champ since 1995, and he and Jericho, the 7x champion, have had a long rivalry.
– “Captain Charisma” Christian joins us at the announce booth! He claims, among other things, that he wants to see if Shawn Michaels’ face to see if it’s still suffering the effects of the Unprettier he gave him on the mat last week… that Shawn may be the “showstopper” but he’s the “showstealer”… and that Christian’s done something Shawn hasn’t done which is win three consecutive championships at Wrestlemania. He then runs in to “steal the show” and distracts Michaels, who then walks into an enziguiri from Jericho, leading to Hebner ejecting Christian from ringside.

[commercial break]

– The announce team mentions that often, Jericho and Michaels’ styles mirror each other. Then Jericho misses a Lionsault as I wonder when the last time was that Michaels missed the flying elbow…
– Tomko and Christian run in to end the match in a DQ, and focus their beat-down on Michaels, although don’t show favorites, and get INSANE heel heat from the crowd. Michaels had just hit a superkick on Jericho, who had just dropkicked Tomko off the apron, but Christian ran in as the ref was starting the pincount (with Jericho’s legs within reach of the ropes, so this wasn’t a “gimme” win for HBK in the least).
Winner: No Decision.

Smackdown Rebound starts, but gets broken into with a NEWS update from Todd Grisham, in front of Lita’s hospital door, where doctors and nurses are rushing to the patient, and Kane’s voice is heard screaming “NOOOO!” over and over again from behind the door.

[commercial break]

Moments ago: Grisham totally got manhandled by that nurse!

Back live, and Evolution is backstage. Flair wants to “WOO!” but HHH is upset that the fans can decide who will face him for the World Championship at Taboo Tuesday. HHH: Vince thinks this will light a fire under “Orton and everyone else,” who will go out there doing their best to impress the fans. Batista: “Screw the fans!” Flair: “Orton may not even make it to Taboo Tuesday. You’re the greatest World Heavyweight Champion of all time! Evolution, as a wise man once said, is that damn good. WOO!”

J.R. and King introduce a video package of RAW Diva Search “highlights.” The one who looked kinda like Ingrid from “Joe Schmo 2” should have won – she totally kicked ass at the (yes, I’m about to type this) pay-per-view volleyball game.

HEY LOOK! It’s PK!

baddasspk: dont you mean dodgeball game?
PulseMM: oops
PulseMM: Either/or.
baddasspk: and I liked her too, she looked hot in a cowboy hat
baddasspk: Michelle I think her name was
PulseMM: Well, seriously PK, who doesn’t look hot in a cowboy hat?
baddasspk: um, your mom?
PulseMM: You’ve seen my mom in a cowboy hat??
PulseMM: YOU RAT FINK!
baddasspk: I’ve seen you mom in just about everything…and nothing.

Ladies and gentlemen… PK! He may be boycotting RAW, but he sure ain’t boycotting the PULSE! Or your mom!

[commercial break]

Sylvain Grenier w/Robert Conway vs. Maven
– This match is happening why?
– Oh, I know! The crowd finally has an American opponent for La Res that they can logically chant “U!S!A!” to!
– Maven runs in before Grenier has much time to speak on the mic.
– J.R. mentions that they are hoping to go back to Todd Grisham at the hospital after this match to get a Lita/Kane update.
– Maven wins with an inside cradle following Grenier taunting the crowd, then attempting to finish the match with a CLAW TO THE FACE.
Winner: Maven.

UPDATE ON LITA: The doctors are with Todd and state that they “did everything they could… but unfortunately we lost the baby.” The crowd does everything it can not to cheer. Kane goes NUTS. Lita looks drugged.

This opens things up to so many unanswered questions! Will Kane and Lita stay married? How badly will Gene Snitsky pay? And will the doctors find Shawn Michaels in time for his feud with Christian to come to a head?

[commercial break]

We’re back, and we have yet ANOTHER Simon Dean “Simon System” infomercial! Don’t delay, call today! 203-352-1587!

J.R. and King come back, and Ross sends his thoughts and condolences to Kane and Lita.

And that serious moment is followed by… the Diva Search finals!

Coach is in the ring, and he announces Carmella from Cleveland, OH, and Christie from California.

And the winner is…

…BUT FIRST! The Coach has something to get off his chest. He doesn’t appreciate being made a human punching bag, so regardless of who wins the $250,000 contest tonight, she has a lifetime enemy in The Coach! And, Carmella, you can go tell your boyfriend quarterback Jeff Garcia, and Christie, you EVER bite me in the ass again, and you’ll pay!

And the winner is…

…BUT SECOND! Trish comes out, Women’s Championship in hand! She wants to take a moment to congratulate those two. She knows it’s been tough, with the ice cream eating and the pie eating — she’s getting full just thinking about it. Oh, and CHA-CHING! Maybe Christie can buy herself some decaf with the prize money; and maybe Carmella can buy herself a personality! Trish will be throwing the winner, whoever it is, an initiation party next week, and “attendence is mandatory, not optional!”

And the winner is…

…BUT THIRD! Let’s see what PK thinks about the Kane/Lita situation:

baddasspk: Will Kane and Lita stay married? No
baddasspk: How badly will Gene Snitsky pay? He already lives in the Lehigh Valley, how much worse can it get for him?
baddasspk: And will the doctors find Shawn Michaels in time for his feud with Christian to come to a head? HAHA, you said head.

That’s right, PK! He may be boycotting RAW, but he still cares enough to turn the tragedy of miscarriage into a bad pun about oral sex!

Okay, where were we? Oh yes!

And the winner is…

CHRISTIE!!!! There is justice!

Coach interviews Christie, who is “very proud and ready to take on a great year with the WWE.” It’s all about the energy, and “I don’t need no decaf, ’cause it’s all natural. Whewwwwwwww!”

Coach then interviews Carmella, who is “dissappointed, but it was a great experience… another chapter in my life, but hopefully it will work out down the road.” Does she think the booing caused the fans to vote for other divas? “They like to hate.” She calls Christie “the chosen one” and wishes her congratulations, and the crowd is relentless! She shakes some hands, and heads to the back. As she should.

Up next: the main event – Evolution vs. Benoit, Benjamin, and Orton!

[commercial break, including a promo for the Smackdown season premiere/5th anniversary special, Thursday on UPN!]

Evolution (HHH, Ric Flair and Batista) vs. Chris Benoit, Shelton Benjamin and Randy Orton
– J.R. analyzes that Evolution will want to isolate one of their opponents as part of their strategy, and wonders who they’ll isolate, as they put over Benjamin’s victories over HHH while the two match up to open up the main event.
– Next up: Benoit and Flair tag in. Woo! Cool spot: Benoit enziguiri into Flair Flop, followed by flying headbutt and some BONZO GONZOsity!
– Batista knocks Orton out at ringside with his Knockout Clothesline – the same that knocked Jericho out COLD not too long ago – as his teammates tend to him, but he’s not the legal man, so Flair and Benoit get back to it in the ring.

[commercial break]

– Back from commercial and Orton’s been helped to the back during the break, but Benoit and Benjamin are holding their own in the 2 on 3 match-up. Until a HHH knee stops Shelton in his tracks. Mr. Batista beats on Mr. Benjamin, and now it’s Flair’s turn, and now HHH’s. Perhaps this is the “isolation” J.R. spoke of!
– It comes down to Flair and Benoit, and Benoit has it won, but HHH breaks it up! Benoit suplexes Batista and HHH, then goes for the sharpshooter on Flair, but again it’s broken up, and we’re left with Benoit and Flair in their respective corners, as RANDY runs out, tags himself in, clears the ring, and R.K.O. to Flair — another legend KILLED.
Winners: Randy Orton, Chris Benoit and Shelton Benjamin.

And that’s the show! Good “season premiere,” if heavy on the sports entertainment, but the main event delivered, the pregnancy angle and Diva Search have both moved on, and Vince’s announcement should make the next PPV pretty interesting, especially if they actually DO listen to the fans. I’m sure the gimmick choices will be limited (for example, unless there’s a steel cage on premises, I can’t see them taking a half hour to erect one), as will opponents (I doubt they’ll want to have HHH, for example, in seven matches), but Taboo Tuesday has good potential, and should be a fun experiment either way.

Thanks for joining us, and don’t miss Eric’s Short Form and Scott’s Rant ONLY on InsidePULSE Wrestling…