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Live Recap of Smackdown’s Season Premiere/5th Anniversary Special

Taped from Tuscon, AZ
Your announcers are Michael Cole and Tazz

Vince welcomes everyone to the show…

Match 1: Paul London beats Billy Kidman by countout
– Kidman refuses to fight

Match 2: Booker T beats Paul London by pinfall
– US Champ Booker T comes out for an impromptu match
– Booker gives London a bloody nose with an elbow
– Booker cuts a promo on Cena, gets hit from behind from London

Smackdown Throwback: Mick Foley talks about one time Rock’s sunglasses fell off during a post-show Rock N Sock promo, as well as the return of Cactus Jack that shocked HHH in the midst of their big feud.

Promo for CW Title match: Spike vs. Rey and Undertaker vs. Gangrel & Viscera

[commercial break]

Theodore Long (in a tux!) tells Kidman that he will have a match at No Mercy vs. London…

Josh Matthews interviews Spike and Rey about the CW Title match, Rey starts talking in Spanish, then Kenzo steps in and tells Rey to speak English right now, so Rey smacks him with the microphone…

[commercial break]

Smackdown Throwback: Rock cutting a promo on Coach, making him dance the Charleston.

Tazz & Cole announce that WWE.com will have the top 25 moments in SD history online…

Match 3: Rey Mysterio vs. Spike Dudley – Cruiserweight Championship
– Great fast-paced beginning, including a spot where Rey flips over the ref and out of the ring onto Spike (my roommate who hates wrestling was even impressed), then an abrupt commercial break, which Cole later apologizes for
– Ref bump leads to Kenzo and Dupree running in and beating Rey down out of the ring, and the ref wakes up in time to count the 1-2-3

They show highlights of the Wrestlemania 21 press conference…

Smackdown Throwback: Stephanie McMahon, Smackdown’s first GM, reflects about her favorite moments – slapping her mother and the Kurt-Steph-HHH love triangle that led to Kurt and Steph kissing (and me becoming a hardcore WWF fan again), and Steph saying Kurt’s the worst kisser ever.

[commercial break]

Moments ago Spike retained the CW Title vs. Rey…

During the break, Theodore Long tells Kenzo and Rene that they will be defending their Tag Titles at No Mercy vs. Rey and RVD…

Last Thursday, Cole was kidnapped by Heidenreich who read him poetry, which Tazz admits liking (the poetry, not the kidnapping)…

Heidenreich is shown backstage going into Mr. McMahon’s office…

Promo is shown for Taker vs. the Ministry in a handicapped match, next…

[commercial break]

Smackdown Throwback: Brock/Big Show superplex/ring collapse spot from 2003!

Match 4: Undertaker beats Gangrel and Viscera, pinning Gangrel after a tombstone piledriver in a handicapped match
– The Ministry comes out to their old music, and Gangrel drinks the blood from the chalice and does the spit-take!
– The Ministry gets some offense in, but Taker kicks out of Viscera’s first splash, then counters a second attempt and it’s all Taker from there
– Taker kicks everyone’s ass after the match, then points at Bradshaw saying he’s next

Heidenreich is in McMahon’s office, and expresses his anger… in a poem…

Torrie Wilson is shown coming out of her lockerroom, ready for her Schoolgirl Match…

[commercial break]

They show Stone Cold Steve Austin on video taking a drink of water, getting ready for his “appearance” and then go to the match…

Match 5: Fabulous Moolah & Mae Young beat Torrie Wilson & Dawn Marie when Moolah pinned Dawn Marie in a Schoolgirl Match
– Torrie vs. Dawn Marie is about to start, but Theodore Long comes out and makes it a tag team match
– Wow this was so horrible and embarrassing… good thing Dawn’s shirt came off…

Smackdown Throwback: Steve Austin talks about when SD went to Baghdad to entertain the troops last Christmas, and Austin dressed up as Santa Claus… As well as when he sang for McMahon backstage…

[commercial break]

WWE Hall of Famer Superstar Billy Graham is in the audience and gets a nice round of applause…

John Cena raps from on top of a WWE truck, throwing out lines about all of SD’s past superstars, including The Rock, Stone Cold and Vince, and talks about how he’ll beat Booker T for the US Title at No Mercy…

Cole & Tazz run down the No Mercy card (wow, six matches set a good 10 days before the show!):

Booker T [c] vs. John Cena – US Title, Final of 5 Matches
Paul London vs. Billy Kidman
Kenzo & Rene [c] vs. Rey Mysterio & RVD – Tag Titles
Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns
Big Show vs. Kurt Angle
JBL [c] vs. The Undertaker – WWE Title, “Last Ride Match”

Kurt Angle interrupts Cole & Tazz to cut a promo about how he has been the number 1 star on SD since the beginning, and how he’s beaten all the greats (Rock, Stone Cold, HHH, Benoit, Guerrero, Taker). “I’ve provided more classic moments for this show than anyone,” he says, mentioning kissing Stephanie, the Iron Man Match, winning the WCW Title, and it’s a disgrace that he wasn’t asked to give his thoughts on the special show. Big Show is also a disgrace. And he’ll provide a new Smackdown moment tonight…

They show Hollywood Hogan who’ll be giving his thoughts on Smackdown next…

[commercial break]

Smackdown Throwback: Hollywood Hogan talks about July 4 Tag Title win over Chuck & Billy, when Hogan came out to “Real American” and teamed with Edge, passing the torch to the future of the business.

Match 6: Eddie Guerrero & Big Show beat Kurt Angle & Luther Reigns by DQ
– Introductions are made, with Big Show coming out last to a big pop, for his first match in five months
– Kurt avoids Show to start, and Luther goes head to head with Show to finally get the match going
– Cole says Luther’s “been in and out of trouble, in and out of jail” all his life; he’s been shot at, and had his throat slit as well, according to Cole
– Cool spot as Eddie tries to do a frogsplash off of Show’s shoulders, only to be knocked off and out onto the floor by Angle, as they go to commercial
– They come back from commercial with Kurt putting Eddie in a half boston crab and working the ankle, then Eddie works the neck
– This sesame chicken isn’t very good
– Eddie finally hits the frogsplash off of Big Show onto Angle, but before the pin, Jindrak comes out and gets Kurt’s team DQ’d by breaking up the pin

After the match, Kurt loads a gun at ringside, then shoots Big Show in the back with a tranquilizer! Dart sticking out of his back, Big Show finally fades and passes out after a quick comeback and chokeslam attempt. Mark Jindrak runs to the back, and gets scissors and hair clippers, which Kurt, Luther and Mark then use on Show, starting at his bald spot and going on for a while (Kurt: “Here you go, Show. Something to remind you of me…” — Cole: “Kurt Angle is raping Big Show of his dignity!”), and the show ends with Kurt lifting Big Show’s head up to pose for the cameraman.

Thanks for joining us… Stay tuned to Pulse Wrestling for Eric’s Smackdown Short Form and some FLEA!

Matthew Michaels is editor emeritus of Pulse Wrestling, and has been since the site launched.