Remote Destination

Hey, welcome back to the “Sam McKinney” of my column-writing career. If you’re reading this it must be the weekend. Hooray. Aren’t you excited, don’t you have plans?

(net audience responds)
“What do you have planned Mathan?”

Wow, thanks for asking. Well I’ve got a lot of TV to watch. Y’see I’ve spend the last two weeks procrastinating and cramming to write a screenplay. I did finally finish it last week. However, all that work left me taping lots of TV shows. I had to tape both episodes of ESPN’s Dream Job. I’ve also taped the last three weeks of Nip/Tuck. Of course I had to tape Smallville. What else got taped? Um; Lost and The Wire. I think that’s about it.

What I Watched This Week

Fortunately I did manage to get some TV watching done. I watched the first two, of three episodes of Nip/Tuck. They were good but I’ve got to say I’m disappointed. The episode where Julia enters into the alternate reality was really lacking and extra. It was cool to see all the faces from the past, but the storyline was pretty hokey.

The episode where Christian tries to help his disgraced colleague was much better, but even that felt a bit forced. Maybe I’m used to the long drawn out plots of The Shield but it really seemed like they jammed the disgraced fall from grace into the show. I think that story would have been better had it played out over a few episodes.

Watching his fall within the span of 20 minutes felt way too fast, and everything felt contrived. The fellow addict who was attracted to Christian, the botched liposuction. And what was up with the perfectly timed coincidence of the victim being the girl that Christian and Shawn turned down. I’m supposed to believe that she went to Christian and Shawn, who we are to believe are the best in town, to some backroom lipo clinic that quick? The suspension of disbelief was just too much for me to bear.

I also caught the premiere of The Wire. Now having spent a few years in Baltimore, (remind me to tell you why Method Man complaining about the writing on his sitcom is really his own damn fault), The Wire does my heart good. On one hand, it’s a way for me to see a place that I miss and truly hold dear to my heart. On the other, it shows me just what I was escaping from. I can say will 100% honestly that The Wire like Homicide before it, is such an accurate depiction of Charm City that it’s scary. They capture all the local flair and the grime too. My only question is when is HBO going to start putting out some damn DVD’s of the series?

The last of the shows that I’ve watched was Smallville. What can I say; I’m a fanboy when it comes to things like this. I dig the concept of superheroes. Smallville is like a guilty pleasure. It’s a fun show, that’s way addicting. And like I said, I’m a fanboy. But I’m kind of sad that Pete’s gone. How are you going to get rid of the only Black guy?

By now you should be wondering;”Uh, I thought this column was about Dave Chappelle?” True indeed.

The Column Proper

I dig Chappelle’s Show. I like Dave Chappelle. I think that he’s a funny and insightful cat. I’m not going to lie and say that I always catch his show, or that I set my VCR to record it. I’m not even going to pretend that I went out and bought the first season on DVD. But when I do catch the show, it makes me laugh.

But I also think that the dude has got to be stopped. He’s going way too far, and need to chill out before it’s too late.

Let’s face it; Dave uses the “N Word” too much. Now that word means different things to different people. Clearly Dave is cool enough with the word to use is frequently. And I’ll be honest, I don’t really mind when Dave uses it; a lot of Black guys use it as casually as he does.

I guess my problem with it is that not too many other people have a problem with it. It’s not “bleeped” out. To me that’s kind of offensive. It’s a bad word, one of the worst words out. Sure its’ Comedy Central and they have looser standards than other networks, but it’s still kind of jarring to hear coming out of my television, between commercials.

Plus with his audience, being largely white, it is kind of sending the message that the word is “ok” to say, when it’s never ok for a white person to say it. I’ve had co workers try to reenact skits with the word and I’m looking at them like “Please say it. I’ve had a bad day and am dying to unleash.” But that’s really a column for another time and place. Fortunately I’ve got a link to that time and place.

Dave is also guilty of spilling way too many Black secrets. It’s like Blacks have their own little community, full of inside jokes. It’s stuff what we can laugh at, and other folks would scratch their head at. Well Dave is ruining that for us.

Like Itis. Nobody was up on that before Dave talked about it. I went to a Black College and the Itis was in full effect. But now white people have an inkling about it. They might not fully grasp it, but they are aware of its existence. So now when two Black guys crack a joke about it, a white guy can say “oh, I get it.” That takes the fun out of it. Why do you think we change up our slang so often? To keep whites out of the loop.

He didn’t need to delve into the art of throwing dice either. Whites were never going to know about that. Whites generally stay away from cats rollin’ dice. And while we’re on that Ashy Larry was funny. But again, white folks don’t need to know about ash. It was cool when these things were in direct to video Roc-A-Fella flicks or Black films that whites didn’t see, but Dave it putting it on national TV! It’s like if everyone at your high school got the inside jokes your click had, that would have completely ruined the fun, right?

He’s also guilty of making a Lil Jon a huge celebrity. Sure Lil’ Jon was making moves on the music scene, but he’s a full-fledged celebrity now. I never liked Lil Jon. I didn’t dig his music, I don’t dig crunk. My best friend and I used to make fun of the guy. But when Dave mocks him, America gloms onto him. Now he’s the biggest thing ever. It’s really, really sad.

Thankfully Dave has used his power for good. He’s trying to use in influence to put some actually artists in the limelight. Talib Kweli, Common and dead prez, are all getting publicity behind Dave’s stamp of approval. So I suppose there is a silver lining.

However since Dave reupped his contract with Comedy Central, he’s rich and he’s all over the place. He’s white America’s favorite Black man. He’s the new Chris Rock. And you know means; it’s only a matter of time before he takes a tumble.

Now I’m not saying that there’s a conspiracy against Blacks in this country, but O.J. and M.J. were once adored in white household too. I’m just hoping that Dave doesn’t believe the hype. I’m not casting judgment against either of the two Black males that I pointed out, but I will say that power tends to go to ones head. If you think that you are untouchable and believe all your hype you might do something stupid. Hell, even Eddie Murphy got caught up in something. All I’m saying is that if things get thick a large part of his fan base will disappear.

I hope that Dave doesn’t get to the point where people are no longer laughing with him, but rather at him. History doesn’t foresee Dave having a happy life. Controversial Black comedians don’t have happy endings. Redd Foxx got hit by the IRS. Richard Pryor is messed up in the game. Eddie Murphy is stuck in PG hell. Chris Rock made Pootie Tang. Chappelles 15 minutes are counting; please let him do something with them.

Well that’s going to do it for this column. As you can see this column is taking shape. I’ve got the beginning and middle down. Now all I need is an ending.

I’ve got it. You should have read Joe Reid or Aaron Cameron (who can be found a few sections over on Music.) Together we are kind of like Three The Friday, unless one of them can come up with a better name.

Join our newsletter

never miss the latest news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary for Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games!