Mike’s Soapbox- I’d like to informally start the unofficial Insidepulse hurricane support group. If you read the site, and want to bitch about the various nefarious hurricanes, send all comments and complaints to me. Another weekend was put on hold hear in South Florida due to the oncoming Hurricane Jeanne. I evacuated yesterday afternoon to my friend Christine’s house, but not before going to work, which had to be the dumbest decision I’ve ever made. Besides deciding to get the job in the first place. It is with great shame that I announce that I am currently employed at McDonalds, and yes all the stories you’ve heard are true and worse. I don’t know if I out and out have the worst job here among my fellow Pulse staffers, but I’d venture to say I get paid the least. And I can never mention I work there without unleashing a flurry of excuses, the most oft repeated among them being that I don’t drive, and the place is close by to me. So anyway, I went in at six in the morning yesterday and worked drive-thru for a few hours, until the main manager decided to open up the front lobby. We got swamped, because as it turns out we were one of the only places open in the entire city. Everyone was evacuating in our immediate area, and my boss didn’t have the decency to let us do the same. This really pissed me off, as do all the bosses that make their employees work in times like this. The only people that should be working are firemen, doctors, meteorologists, and those reporters that have stand in the middle of a beach during a storm, because no matter how bad things get, that’s always good for a chuckle. Just as a little “screw you” (There’s my awareness to my potential younger viewers) to my job, I didn’t go in today, citing that I was recovering from the storm. We really didn’t get hit bad this time. This is the closest I’ve come to growing a spine, and will hopefully lead to me eventually quitting the job. I would similarly like to start a unofficial “I’m poor and have crappy job” support group, here at Insidepulse.
The Surreal Life Episode 4- “Highway To Hell
Well since it’s the Surreal Life season three, we can’t start out without having Flava and Brigitte snuggling up on the couch.
The Surreal Times is delivered on the doorstep. It’s for Charo, and states that she has to travel to San Diego with the housemates and put on a show. YAY!!! ROAD TRIP!! They even get to stay overnight. Flav wants to drive, which would be okay if he didn’t have 67 driving suspensions!! That’s not nearly as many as the average South Floridian.
Charo gets ready in the bathroom, and luckily its not for too long.
The housemates are ready to go, and the vehicle of choice is a Surreal Life Winnebago.
Dave is the driver but Flav keeps badgering him wanting to drive. He says he’s a great driver, and that he learned to drive by stealing cars. Dave gives him a really grimacing look, that completely goes over Flav’s head.
They make it to the hotel and casino that Charo will be performing at. You didn’t think it’d be at a stadium did you? Charo goes to prepare for the show while the rest of the housemates are given a challenge. The guys have to gamble against the other two girls in the casino. Who ever makes the least amount of money, gets stuck in the camper, while the winners get to spend the night in the luxurious playe’s suite.
Brigitte, wanders around the casino looking for a good game. She pays some guy fifty bucks to play, which turns out to be a really stupid idea, since he ends up losing some of her money.
The guys and the girls are playing each other head-on, and suspense is building. Dave just drove five and a half hours and doesn’t want to sleep in the camper. Neither does Ryan. Or Jordan. But someone has to. Who will it be? I must know!! Ah crap, it’s a commercial.
First Commercial Break.
The guys make $385.00 and the girls make only $52.00. Dave’s the gaming mastermind.
The guys are in the hotel. Dave wants to sleep in the closet room while Jordan and Flav squabble over who gets the big bed.
Dave ask if anyone wants anything from room service, and Flav asks for a bold woman with ketchup. I think I want one of those now too.
The girls are sore losers, and go around the casino until Brigitte uses her feminine wiles to get herself and Ryan a room by promising a performance at the casino from Ryan.
It’s show time at the ACHARO.
Dave, Flav, and Jordan shows up for Charo’s show, but Brigitte and Ryan don’t. Dave is really ticked by it. He’s right, you know. Ryan and Brigitte, don’t get there until forty five minutes afterwards.
Charo sings and dances, doing the Hoochie Coochie and other dances obscene enough to make Bill O’Reilly’s skin crawl. Charo then sits down and starts jamming out on the guitar, and the various housemates discuss how great it was in the confessional. Ryan: “It was so emotional I was going to cry”. It wasn’t that good.
At the end of the show, all the housemates join Charo on the stage and dance. If only Flav rapped with Charo. Flavmenco!!!
Brigitte wanders backstage, and inquires Charo about the mysterious Enrique who happens to be one Charo’s bandmates. Uh-oh. She likes Flav, and now Enrique. I think something’s going to ensue, and its not hilarity. We’ll see in a bit.
Second Commercial Break.
Jordan doesn’t want to share a bed with Flav. Flav doesn’t want to share a bed with Jordan. Something’s gotta give.
Turns out, Ryan promised the casino that she was going to sing in return for the room her and Brigitte got, but Ryan, being the unlikable “expletive” that she is, backs out. The casino does nothing about it.
Flav argues with Jordan about sleeping arrangements some more, and wins. Jordan angrily goes to the camper.
Brigitte is macking it with Enrique and brings him back to the hotel room but Ryan tells them to leave.
Brigitte sneaks out with Enrique, and gets caught on camera kissing him. What a whore!!
Flav feels depressed, but is happy because he’s going to drive on the way back. We’ll see about that.
Thoughts- An episode based around a Charo concert with little Charo in it outside of the performance. We did see some character changes, what with Ryan going from the innocent in the house, to a lying liar (Sorry, I’m reading Franken’s book now, which must be seeping into my brain) and Brigitte turning out to be a tramp. Wait, we knew about that before anyway. She with Stallone after all. Dave still remains extremely likable, Jordan’s still a prick, and Charo”¦Well if they actually showed her I could say something.
