Weekend News, 10-3-04



Weekend News, 10-3-04

Hello, my name is Andy Campbell, and I’ll be doing weekend news. You
may know me as The Guy Who Did the Movie Posters for Ross Williams. You may
not. In fact, let’s just assume you don’t and move on. Just to get
the quick background crap out of the way, I live in Buffalo, NY (the asscrack
of the country), and I work as a graphic designer. I’m a life-long wrestling
fan, and I really try to enjoy every show. However, though I know that wrestling
isn’t meant to be for deep thinkers, I know when my intelligence is being
insulted. Anyway, I’m a cynical bastard, but I’ll do my best to
not shit all over everything. Too much negativity gives me diarrhea.

Now that you know THAT juicy tidbit, I’ll just explain the format I’m
going to use and start right into it. Pretty standard formula: newsbit, followed
by my opinion. I’ll also continue the movie poster tradition, and maybe
add some other fun features when I think of them. Enough yammering…on
with the news!


News

Story

Vince McMahon himself had to have both Big Show and Undertaker pre-tape their
promos on SmackDown. This upset many fans because Big Show is somewhat of a
local celebrity, going to college there.

One Asshole’s Opinion

Um, okay. Moving on…

 

Story

Chris Candido has cleaned himself up, and is reporting to OVW next week. His
has been extremely focused at getting back in with good terms with WWE.

One Asshole’s Opinion

Works for me. If he can make it happen, good for him. I saw Candido at an indy
show here in Buffalo a couple of months ago, where he main evented against Al
Snow. I know, I know. Anyway, while it was nothing stellar or earth-shattering,
he worked his ass off to entertain the fans, which he did. Best of luck to Chris.

Oh, and Tammy’s still fat.

 

Story

TNA, in an attempt to get huge buyrates for their first monthly PPV, Victory
Road, has sent out feelers to Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, X-Pac, Sting & DDP
to appear/wrestle on the show.

One Asshole’s Opinion

Hey, if it can generate interest in their PPV, I say go for it. I, personally,
don’t want to see any of them wrestle again, but if their collective name
value can get the marks into the show, and maybe garner some mainstream attention
too, then that’s a good thing for TNA. All I have to say, though, is that
Jarrett needs to lose that damn belt.

 

Story

Byte This will not be shown this week, and will return at its normal time next
week.

One Asshole’s Opinion

…and no one will be the wiser.

 

Story

World Wrestling Entertainment(R) announced today that the first-ever WWE Smackdown
Your Vote! Youth Debate can be seen in its entirety on wwe.com.

One Asshole’s Opinion

I didn’t watch this, and I don’t plan on watching this. Mick Foley
was a guest on a Buffalo radio morning show where he discussed the SmackDown
Your Vote campaign, as well as his own personal political views. In fact, there
was nothing fair and balanced about Foley’s commentary. Didn’t bother
me, though, because I happen to be on his side. And now you all know!

 

Story

About 700 people were turned away from the Impact tapings. The big turn out
is due to the heavy promotion of a tag match with Orlando Radio Personality
DJ Russ Rollins teaming with Marc Mero to face The Steele Brothers.

One Asshole’s Opinion

If THAT was the big draw…yikes.

 

Story

Jeff Hardy didn’t show up to the Impact taping. He was scheduled to face David
Young, and his no-show forced much of the script to be re-written.

One Asshole’s Opinion

Raise your hand if you didn’t see this coming. No one? Didn’t think
so.

 

Story

Also at the Impact tapings, Kid Kash and Chase Stevens of the Naturals had an
argument backstage, where Monty Brown had to step in to break them up.

One Asshole’s Opinion

Oh, those rascals!

 

Story

According to the TSN website, Bret Hart will play Aladdin in an annual Toronto
play.

One Asshole’s Opinion

That picture is absolutely PRICELESS. Now, if we can just get Shawn Michaels
to play Jafar, Marty Jannetty as Iago, and Jim Neidhart as Abu, we’ve got a
sure-fire CLASSIC.

 

Story

Rene Dupree’s brother, Jeffery, has reported to OVW for training.

Credit: pwtorch.com

One Asshole’s Opinion

Okay.

 

Story

Ric Flair actually came up with, and scripted his promo on Raw this past Monday
by himself, not with the help of Heyman, as originally thought. Flair shot the
idea at Vince McMahon, and they went with it.

Credit: pwtorch.com

One Asshole’s Opinion

You can tell.

 

Story

2 new characters debuted at Raw house shows over the weekend. Muhammed Hussan
(Mark Magnus) and Shawn Daivari are portrayed as Muslims. The plan seems to
have them be extremely controversial.

Credit: pwtorch.com

One Asshole’s Opinion

No way. The Muslim characters are meant to be CONTROVERSIAL? In America? Where
we prey on stereotypes? Perish the thought.

 

Story

Bubba Ray Dudley missed house shows over the weekend due to Hurricane Jeanne.

credit: pwinsider.com

One Asshole’s Opinion

I’m sure the fans rioted and demanded their money back.

 

Story

WWE let go the trademarks of Zach Gowen, HLA, and WWE Retribution. They then
filed a trademark for New Year’s Revolution.

credit: pwinsider.com

One Asshole’s Opinion

Works for me.


Before moving on to the next section here, I’d just like to point out
that I was an English major, and so when I cut and paste the news items, I try
to correct spelling and grammar errors. It’s just the way I am. That said,
is there some reason why every news item on Inside Pulse has the word “their”
spelled incorrectly as “thier”? What’s so hard about this?
Anyway, you’ll not find many spelling or grammatical errors in my news
reports (a rarity in the IWC…just kidding guys…guys? Put down that
bat…) and that’s why. Any reader feedback e-mail that I may receive,
however, will be posted as-written.


Links to People Far Better Than I Am

Not like you need me to tell you, but go read Eric
and Hyatte.
Great stuff every week…even though Hyatte is “a parody of himself.”
Flea is
also always worth a look. Or two.

Read everything in the Nexus. Top
notch stuff. Oh, I’m a comic book fan, if you didn’t gather that.


No Mercy

Well, this show honestly doesn’t look too great on paper, but has the potential
to surprise. Some of these matches have the ability to be sleeper hits, but
time will tell. Time will tell ME round about Tueday, when I finish downloading
it.

Spike Dudley (c) vs. Nunzio – WWE Cruiserweight Title

One Asshole’s Opinion

Just added, apparently. Well, I’d love to see Nunzio take this one, but I just
don’t see any reason for them to do that.

Winner: Spike Dudley, with help from his brothers

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns

One Asshole’s Opinion

Not the best build-up in the world, but now we should be able to see just how
well Luther can hang with the big boys. So far, I’ve been impressed with him.
This match should see Mark Jindrak interfere, so as to build up Team Angle Mark
II, but Guerrero still win to 1) keep him strong, and 2) have a babyface win
a match.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero by DQ: interference from Jindrak

Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

One Asshole’s Opinion

I’d imagine this will be the show stealer. This feud has really just started,
so look for Kidman to win in nefarious manner in order to further flesh out
his heel turn.

Winner: Kidman

Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree (c) vs. Rey Mysterio & RVD – WWE Tag
Team Titles

One Asshole’s Opinion

Suzuki and Dupree need more time with the belts to show their characters. Look
for interference from Hiroko or Fifi. 🙂

Winners: Suzuki and Dupree

Booker T (c) vs. John Cena – WWE US Title

One Asshole’s Opinion

Alright, I think Booker is going to win this one, what with Cena going off
to shoot that movie. However, upon completion of the movie, I’m sure Cena will
return and promptly take back the title.

Winner: Booker T

Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show

One Asshole’s Opinion

Well, with any luck, the Big Show might be in shape. Here’s hoping. In any event,
I would imagine the Big Show will win this to take some measure of revenge on
Angle for humiliating him.

Winner: Big Show

JBL (c) vs. The Undertaker – WWE Title – Last Ride Match

One Asshole’s Opinion

This is a tough one to call, but I’m going with JBL retaining…for now. Taker
will get that belt sooner than later, though.

Winner: JBL


Coming to a Cinema Near You

Steve Borden is a simple man, who has lost his heart for the business he used
to love. Two things help him regain that fire. The first is french-fried potaters
with mustard, mmm hmm. The second is a young boy…named Jesus of Nazareth.
Jesus proclaims his hatred for country music, so Borden dons his warpaint and
kills Dwight Yoakam for his Lord and Savior. Everyone lives happily ever after.


Well, that wraps things up for this week. Future installments will be a bit
longer, and I plan to have a review of SmackDown as well. I haven’t had a chance
to watch it yet this week, thus no review. Also, in the future, I may be posting
on Saturday; it all depends on if I can figure out this whole posting system.
Hope to “see” you here next week. In the meantime, send me some
e-mail and let me know what you thought.

AIM = GoldenAce 007