Riding Coattails: People In Glass Shelters …

Straight up, this week presented one of the best episodes of Survivor I’ve ever watched (and baby, I’ve seen ’em all). It had all of the crucial elements necessary for truly excellent entertainment: a cool twist, some shrewd moves (nice work, John K.), plenty of rhyming and scheming footage, and one hell of a good cat fight. Although I wouldn’t want to be Mia’s roommate or coworker or anything, I am eternally grateful to her for dishing out a generous helping of drama. I bet Mark Burnett is, too.

Mia reminds me a lot of this really nasty bitch I had to wait tables with when I was in college. She’s sinewy, high-strung, and tactless. There’s nothing likeable about that girl, which is why is was so great to see her get what she deserved. Plus, she couldn’t keep her argument consistent when she was fighting with Twila. She said, “You play the martyr. I don’t care.” That’s a lie, Ms. Thang, because if you truly didn’t care, you wouldn’t have so ferociously confronted your tribemate for pointing out your slacker ways. Mia’s suffering from a terminal case of dish-it-out-but-can’t-take-it-itis.

Scout, who is still one of my favorites, shocked the hell out of me at tribal council when she wished Mia good luck in finding a husband who would put up with her B.S. Pretty harsh words from a woman who’s been in a lesbian relationship for 26 years. However, it appears that Scout is a bit more judgmental than I expected her to be (and she really sucked at the challenge, too), given how much she seems to look down on anyone who was in a sorority. Don’t underestimate the sisters, Scout. Take that bias too far and you’ll be voted out quicker than you can say “Jenna Morasca.”

I can’t wait to see what’s in store for Twila down the road. During the first episode, I was sure that her days were severely numbered, but since she’s part of the older (and bigger) alliance in Yasur, she may have a fighting chance. I like her rough edges, her wrinkles, her accent. And I was so impressed with the way Ami encouraged her to get a little more girly during the discussion at tribal council. Granted, it was easy for Ami to be a bit more open since she was wearing the immunity necklace, but I thought that she very diplomatically steered Twila into a more positive attitudinal zone. I foresee Ami doing very well in this game.

I’m very curious about what will happy to Rory. He made it through another tribal council and J.P. was sent packing. In great Survivor tradition, the strong boys are dismissed early on while the annoying, weaker members are retained and dealt with later. Historically, wimpy irritants such as Clay Jordan and Jon “Johnny Fairplay” Dalton have made an excellent showing in the game, although they never win. Will Rory fill that role this season? Will a more strategically-minded player, such as Chris, bring Vanuatu’s resident misogynist along for the ride?

That would certainly be a disappointment to Sarge. Echoing Brady’s sentiment at Lopevi’s tribal council, I would say that I’m liking old Sarge a lot more than I thought I would. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that he can’t stand Rory, but I also see Sarge as a genuinely nice person with a sense of humor. In fact, he kind of reminds me of Lill from Pearl Islands, except that he has testicles and leads a much bigger, more heavily armed troop of boys in real life.

And out of nowhere comes young John K., everybody’s favorite mechanical bull operator. Up until this week, we haven’t seen or heard much from this lovely little hottie, but his conduct with the Yasur tribe was very impressive. His division of the Dolly ditchers and Leann loathers was brilliant and gave him a firm finger on the pulse of the female tribe. Moreover, his decision to grant Ami immunity was surprising but made a lot of sense, especially since the result was that Mia was kicked out. Anyone who contributed to her ejection has my respect and appreciation.

Eliza would probably beg to differ, judging from her comment about “that bitch” Lisa in the previews for next week’s episode. What’s the matter, sweet cakes? Does it upset you when someone you thought you had an alliance with switches sides? Ooh, what kind of evil person would do such a thing? That hypocritical motor mouth needs to calm down. But of course, she won’t, and it will no doubt make for a great show next week.