'Smallville' Spoilers

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Clark tries out for football again and learns that Jason is the new assistant coach—though he doesn’t know Jason is also Lana’s boyfriend. Also: a student gets a bizarre makeover with a dangerous side effect that gives her the power to alter the way others see themselves; Lois enrolls at Smallville High for a semester after she finds out she’s a few credits shy of graduating; and Martha takes a managing job at the Talon.

Clark faces a surprising new foe in the form of a shy high school girl (guest star Brianna Lynn Brown) who turns to plastic surgery to enhance her looks and boost her popularity. However, things go awry when she discovers that her kryptonite – enhanced beauty causes harm to anyone she kisses – and she decides her next victim will be Lana. Meanwhile, Jason and Lana continue to hide their relationship from Clark.

Trademark Chloe snark has returned. “So many cheerleaders, so little cyanide” is one of the quips we are likely to hear. Abby is now described as “a rather homely girl with acne scars and frizzy hair.” Lois makes a comment that, with all of the pressures of the new season on the football team, he will have “all the pressure of a team and a school and an entire town counting on you to be their hero.” Clark is going to be Lois’s hero. There is some background on Dr. Fine, and how she was overlooked when the pretty girls got their way. “With one surgery, that all changed,” she said. Lois might get into trouble for snooping a bit too closely. There’s a scene with Lana in bed at Smallville Medical Center, with Jason watching over her in vigil. Here’s the spy report we received from the Templeton High School filming locations of Smallville: “Chloe is definately back. She has befriended Lois. We worked on a scene that took place in the parking lot and in thee school. on Tuesday. Today we filmed a flashback scene to 2001 of a football prep rally. Lana is sitting on the dunk tank, and Whitney is leading the football team to the podium. He then proceeds to get Clark to try and throw a football at the dunk tank, which he proceeds to miss, due to his weakened power from Lana’s Kryptonite necklace. During this scene, the team mascot comes running up, and her hood is taken off by a member of the football scenee, and it turns out to be Abby, a pimple faced girl (skinny, not heavy) with glasses. The football player starts calling her Scabby Abby, which thee crowd starts chanting. Clark sticks up for her, but she runs away in tears. Th next scene takes place at the prep rally present day. Clark is now in the dunk tank, and Lois is throwing the football, cheered on by Chloe, which then drops Clark into the tank.” We still don’t know if Whitney’s presence means Eric Johnson is returning, or if he’s played by a new actor. We’re hoping EJ is involved, although, he might still be honeymooning at the time of filming.

Lois wants to meet with Dr. Fine for “a consultation,” and says she just can’t see anyone else. Lana meets with Dr. Fine to get her tattoo removed, and says she doesn’t know where it came from. “It looks as if the sample was branded onto your skin,” Dr. Fine says. Dr. Fine tells Abigail, “a boy who wants you because you’re pretty isn’t a boy you want.” There are naked football players in this one! It seems they end up naked after they’re attacked, or something. When Brett goes nuts and naked, he runs right into Lois’s windshield. Abigail says “I’m sorry, Lana” and gives her a kiss! Lana looks into the mirror and sees her pretty visage is now disfigured! Clark questions Abigail on what happened with Brett. Jonathan confronts Clark after Coach Quigley calls to tell him that Clark made the team. “I was going to tell you,” Clark says. “When?” Jonathan asks. Lois ends up in the locker room to investigate, which leads to some Clark/Lois banter. “Last I checked you were missing some prerequisites for being in here,” Clark says. “So you finally admit you’ve been checking me out,” Lois retorts. There’s a flashback scene to Abby in her freshman year, and a football player looks in her direction. “That boy’s looking at you. Say hello.”

In a flashback, we see the Talon where two teens tease a girl named Abigail. Clark stops them. Then, we move to the present where Abigail is lying on a table at sophisticated medical facility. The doctor says that they have completed the body and are now moving to the face… of course, that famous green stuff is used in the process. Lex is there to watch the procedure. Abigail is now more beautiful… a different person thanks to this makeover. But this makeover also gave a deadly kiss to this freak of the week.

There is a heavy-set girl named Abigail Murphy that two idiots named Brett and Randy feel the need to pick on. They call her “Scabby Abby,” among other things. Clark defends her, and tells them to “go find some puppies to kick.” There’s a scene in the hospital with Abby getting a procedure to fix her face. The IV bags have a familiar green glow. The procedure, which leaves Abby with a new beautiful look, is supervised by… Lex! After Lex leaves the room, Abby gives her doctor, Dr. Fine, a kiss. After the kiss, Dr. Fine is left disfigured and ugly! There’s a scene of Clark practicing with the football team, alongside Brett… and Jason. Apparently Abby’s appearance changes making her suddenly a whole lot more attractive. She ends up making out with Brett in the shower of the locker room. “I never thought you’d turn out this hot,” Brett says. “You have no idea how much that nickname hurt,” Abby says, kissing him. When she kisses him passionately, Kryptonite veins branch across his face. After all is said and done, Brett is left with a grossly disfigured reflection.

Credit: SpoilerFix, TitanTV, KryptonSite

Murtz Jaffer is the world's foremost reality television expert and was the host of Reality Obsessed which aired on the TVTropolis and Global Reality Channels in Canada. He has professional writing experience at the Toronto Sun, National Post, TV Guide Canada, TOROMagazine.com and was a former producer at Entertainment Tonight Canada. He was also the editor at Weekendtrips.com.