Wrestling News, Opinions, Etc., 10.05.04

In Memoriam: Marianna Komlos. Too bad we can’t say anything better about her than “she was Beaver Cleavage’s mom”.

In Memoriam II: Janet Leigh. In tribute to her, unlike every other story about her today, I won’t mention Psycho…shit.

Ah, it feels good to be back on day shift for a few weeks. Now maybe I can get some more of this column done in a timely fashion (and start doing Wednesdays on a regular basis again; I’ll plead exhaustion for last week). Unfortunately, this one’s gonna suck because I had insomnia on Sunday night and didn’t get one bit of sleep, then I had to go to work to do absolutely jack shit. So bear with me, and maybe Wednesday’s Daily Pulse might be better after I’ve had some sleep. Fat friggin’ chance, but you never know.

THE PIMP SECTION

I’ll pimp Campbell because he’s already developed the standard IP “I don’t give a f*ck about wrestling anymore” attitude that normally takes years of writing about this bullshit to develop (see Szulczewski, Eric or Hyatte, Chris for examples).

Or see West for another good example. Of course, he has the excuse of covering a B show to fall back on.

Morse contributes a special No Mercy Mean. Cool.

Ditch has your Jap shit on tap, while Stein is all over the indies.

Fernandez and Presiloski always gave a great weekend punch over at the other place; glad to see they’re reunited and it feels so good. Or maybe they should just shake their groove things if you want the less obvious Peaches and Herb reference.

Misha has the scoop on what’s coming out game-wise this week.

Gloomchen has a concert reminiscence.

THE ANTI-SPYWARE SECTION

Remember, this all started because the slugs at Enigma Software dared to advertise their piece of shit SpyHunter at 411 (one of the reasons why I decided to leave, honestly). So I’m responding every single column with proper anti-spyware information. And guess what? People are actually taking this to heart. They’re asking me for help if they’re infested, or they’re writing me telling me that their browsing experience is less annoying thanks to the stuff I’ve been putting up here three times a week for a few months now.

(And as I understand it, there are some unscrupulous browser toolbar people trying to advertise here at the Pulse. Well, don’t click on that ad, whatever you do. We’ll still get the money from the impressions, and your system will stay safe.)

Big, big Kudos to the guys at the Spyware Warrior Forum for pointing out to everyone the extent of criminal activity participated in by Enigma Software, makers of the bane of advertising on this site, SpyHunter. Slimeballs extraordinare, aren’t they? And in case you need more info about what flaming bags of shit they are, try here. Suzi’s Blog has a great list of other flaming bags of shit that promote anti-spyware programs that are spyware themselves. Consult it if you have questions.

(On a side note, those SpyHunter ads started over at Reality News Online, and BFM, a contributor there, spotted them. He told the webmaster, gave him those links that I cited above, the webmaster read them, the blood drained out of his face, and he contacted his ad provider. No more ads for Enigma products on RNO, thank you. So guess what? If you provide the info, there are sites who will listen.)

One of the leading vectors for spyware is so-called free programs that contain this shit in order to “pay the bills”. No one deserves that kind of treatment. If you’ve got a question about whether or not a certain program contains spyware, head over here. It’s a nice alphabetized list of programs that do contain spyware and should be avoided at all costs.

Here’s a list of the programs you really need to help you get rid of menaces, and, more importantly, prevent them from occurring in the first place:

Spybot and AdAware. The ONLY two spyware removal tools to trust. Do NOT buy any spyware removal tools, because none of them work better than these two, and all of them except these two are suspect.

SpywareBlaster. Will nuke thousands of different potentially malicious ActiveX controls, and now has the ability to prevent a number of non-ActiveX methods of installing spyware for people who use Mozilla/Firefox.

SpywareGuard. From Javacool, like SpywareBlaster. It’s a real-time scanner for spyware. A decent first line of defense.

IE-SpyAd. Throws numerous ad-related URLs into IE’s Restricted Zone, where they won’t display or affect your system. Bookmark this one, since it’s the only one that doesn’t have an in-program update.

A few people have recommended also installing the Sun Java Virtual Machine, since it’s Windows’ buggy, half-assed implementation of the JVM that allows a lot of spyware to install (less so within the past month and a half than before). I STRONGLY recommend that you visit here and update your version of Java.

So many people have asked about a free anti-virus program that I’m also going to recommend AVG. Totally free, and works really, really well, as well as commercial anti-virus programs. Frequent database updates, good heuristic detection, everything you want in an anti-virus package.

Another program that I’d like to add here is a little tough to work with for noobs if it goes buggy (you need to know a little something about your Networking settings in order to debug if something should go wrong). Protowall is a supplement to your firewall or NAT system. It hooks directly into XP’s networking system to block any and all traffic that comes from URLs on a list maintained by the program (all protocols, not just TCP/UDP). It’s mainly designed for anti-P2P purposes (which will appeal to a great many of my readers), but it contains lists to block spyware and ads. Its blocklist can easily be updated using its supplementary program, Blocklist Manager. I have Protowall running and a Blocklist Manager icon on my desktop, and I use Blocklist Manager to update the blocklist every couple of days. You will have problems getting to some sites unless you shut down Protowall temporarily, like ESPN or Sports Illustrated, but it does have a tray icon you can right-click and shut down in a few seconds. It’s the third layer of anti-ad material for me, with IE-SpyAd and AdSubtract running alongside it. Warning, though: it only works with XP. I’d recommend its predecessor, Peer Guardian, for other MS OSes, but it isn’t being developed anymore, and there were still bugs in it when development stopped. You can get Protowall and the Blocklist Manager (which will also work with Peer Guardian) at Bluetack’s site.

Of course, only download them from the links provided above. And only download those programs; don’t fall for the ads that are shown at various websites.

With AdAware and Spybot, check for updates using their internal update function at least once a week. Run them at least once a week or whenever you think you might have problems. Remember, the new version of Spybot has browser protection capabilities, so have that run at startup and leave it running. Check for updates to SpywareBlaster once a week. It only needs to be run once initially in order to establish protection. Then, after it downloads updates, just click on the line that says “Enable Protection For All Unprotected Items” and kill it. It doesn’t need to be active. For IE-SpyAd, bookmark the site and check for updates twice a week, since it has no kind of internal updater. Run the Blocklist Manager every couple of days to make sure that you keep up on the latest banned URLs. Since all it does is add Registry entries, it doesn’t eat up anything.

If you’re having trouble with spyware or a browser hijacker, or think that you do, head over to the SpywareInfo Forums, where the pros there can help you diagnose and get rid of stuff. I was promoted to Full Helper status there and ended up joining ASAP, the Alliance of Security Analysis Professionals. Look for their symbol, which I’m not going to try to link to anymore because someone at the other end keeps munging it.

The Ravin’ Cajun asks me to recommend a good client-side spam filter for MS mail programs running under Windows. Now, this is something I don’t have experience with because my ISPs have always had good spam filtering, plus, I use Thunderbird, which handles the remainder quite nicely, thank you. Some readers wrote in and recommended SpamBayes, which is totally free and supposedly works very well, so I’ll add it on to the anti-annoyance list that we’re building up here.

Now that it’s moved to a release candidate status, I feel good in recommending Firefox as an alternative to IE. Go grab a copy and see what you’re missing.

MERCY, PLEASE

Well, the good news is that it was uploaded in MPEG format, so I can do screen caps. Therefore I’ll try to make up for the lack of them in the Short Form last week. Chicks dig screen caps. And guys dig chicks in screen caps, especially ones with their tops off.

If there was ever an excuse for a Caption Contest, this is it

Guerrero/Reigns was…well, slow. You’d half-expect that considering Luther’s lumbering in the ring and Eddy having to play to it, but it was still a bit painful to watch. They could have had a better match, period. However, Eddy did do his best to make Reigns look good, and succeeded in the eyes of the marks, so it wasn’t a total waste of time for either guy. I’m just hoping for better in the future from Luther; he’s shown flashes of brilliance now and then.

Jindrak putting the boots to Eddy

Eddy nails the Greco-Roman Baton Shot on Reigns

Spike/Nunzio was actually a halfway-decent match in the standard WWE Cruiserweight mold. Nothing special about it, just an excuse for the strap to be defended (let’s face it, it was a last-minute addition). But it didn’t stink the joint out (although since they were in Noo Joisey, who the hell could tell if it did?), and that’s a credit to it.

Even cruiserweight matches need a resthold now and then

In losing, Paul London made himself look great. Of course, you expected a quality match between him and Kidman, but now let’s move on from this and see what these two guys can do on their own, away from each other. Let’s hope that we see them given another fifteen against each other, but not until, say, Wrestlemania, and make it for the Cruiserweight title. Fortunately, it was this inconsequential little tidbit that was the only match I missed in the Round Table.

It’s not a resthold! It’s an abdominal stretch!

The tag title match, as I feared, turned into a spotfest. That’s the risk that you run with Van Dam involved. I don’t mind Rey-Rey because he mixes it up, but Van Dam has long since fallen into the Five Moves of Doom trap. I’m not going to talk about this, just be happy that it’s over.

The power of Karaoke should only be used for good

The nicest thing I can say about Angle/TBS is that it was booked properly for the participants. TBS moves like a slug, Angle can do anything, including taking an ass-whipping of epic proportions. So I’ll leave it be at that.

Well, it’s the bald show…

Well, this is one way to end a match…

Booker/Cena was Match of the Night, but that’s really not saying much, is it? It wins by default because it didn’t suck and it involved two guys that people actually care about. I can’t believe how many of the Round Table ate up the “Cena’s filming a movie, so he’ll lose” line. Didn’t we get enough of that with Trip in the past to fall for it again?

Your new US Champion in profile

Did Jim Korderis lose a bet or something?
Apparently he has to ref all of the shit matches and comedy matches like Team ECW/Team Ambiguously Gay. I actually feel sorry for him.

Everybody loves Dawn Marie, and “everybody” includes Charlie, I guess

I ended up FFing through the whole UT/High-Quality Speaker Boy match. It just wasn’t something I was interested in. And I think that most of the audience joined me in doing so.

Chimel deserves a screen cap once in a while, doesn’t he?

High-Quality Speaker Boy goes aerial

That’s enough for this PPV. Any other news? No, not really, so direct to the Short Form, I guess.

THE SHORT FORM

Match Results:

Shawn Michaels over Christian (Pinfall, Sweet Chimp Music): I’m split on my opinion of this match. It was a good, sound match, agreed, but it seemed to be more of a Michaels Showcase than anything else, designed to set up some doubt just in case the match at Taboo Tuesday is Michaels/Trip. Like that match needs anything additional to sell it other than past history. Screw it, give me Benoit.

Dave Batista over Our Lord and Savior (DQ, Orton-ference): Well, it was going decently until it became an angle enhancement match courtesy of the interference on behalf of Orton/Flair. And you know how I feel about angle enhancement matches, even if they involve Our Lord and Savior.

Rob Conway and Sylvain Grenier over Novocaine Helms and His Pet Fat Fuck, Tag Title Match (Pinfall, Conway pins Helms, Au Revoir): Yeah, like I cared about this one. Next.

My Beautiful and Beloved over Molly Holly (Pinfall, reversed rollup): Well, nothing much there to see, even by the standards of a women’s match. So skip this sucker too and just move on to the main.

Trip over Chirs Jericho, Lumberjack Match, Neither Title Defended, Thank God (Pinfall, Rhyno Goar Goar Goar): How in the name of heaven do you make a Trip/Jericho match inconsequential and irrelevant? Somehow they pulled that off in this one. Oh, wait, I remember how they did it. Bisch made it an angle enhancement match when he put everyone on the ballot to face Jericho at Taboo Tuesday. That explains that. As for Orton at the end, all that was missing was throwing the beers into the ring. We’ve seen this shit before.

Angle Developments:

Deflowering: Terrific opening promo. Trip was on, Jericho was on, Flair was REALLY on…I don’t know why this was particularly true. Maybe it was MSG, maybe it’s because everything was clicking logically, maybe it’s because there was a grain of truth in what Trip was saying about Taboo Tuesday’s ridiculous factor. I don’t know. I just sat back and enjoyed it. Raw Regular Derrek Croney, however, didn’t (and according to Milord, Vince agreed with Derrek; he went off on Flair backstage afterward):

As much as it sickens me to see Ric Flair put (well attempt to put) HHH over like he did, I understand it’s for the good of the business, as HHH needs to be the monster heel, while they attempt to build up Randy Orton. Still sickens me, however.

A Lead-Pipe Cinch: Did you think that when this pregnancy angle began, that Kane would be turned face by it and that some guy named Gene Snitsky would get over courtesy of the obvious ending to the angle? I could have never imagined that in a million years, but it’s happening. And congrats to WWE for actually getting something out of it, which is more credit than I thought I could give them.

And that’s it for today. Honestly, I’ll have something to contribute to the Daily Pulse tomorrow even if I have to pull it out of my ass. Until then, enjoy the rest of the site.