Remote Destination

R.I.P. – Rodney Dangerfield. I always respected the guy.

Yup it’s time for another visit with TV Mathan, and his usual of kilter madness. InsidePulse TV is a bastion of quality. Unfortunately I don’t really add anything to the equation. But I’m still happy you clicked anyway.

Last Weeks Viewing

Saturday Night Live

One of the cool things about Las Vegas is that Saturday isn’t the only night to go out. Also clubs don’t get to popping until later. Therefore I can afford to watch Saturday Night Live. It was pretty funny for a season premiere. There was clearly rust present, but it showed promise. Ben Affleck actually convinced me he was talented. Go figure?

The Wire

Speaking of convincing, I’m convinced that The Wire is the best show on television. It’s compelling and captivating. The characters and stories have my complete attention. I seriously love the show. But when is HBO going to release some DVDs?

Boston Legal

I was only half watching this, but it looked like quality. It seemed like a typical “Kelley” show, well written and snappy. I don’t know if its going to be on my regular view though. But it was really good.

Desperate Housewives

Interesting. I can’t say I really care for any of the characters. But the while mystery has me intrigued. This show has made me really want to be a lawn boy though.

Kevin Hill

Again, this show was interesting. I caught the premiere and taped the second episode. Michael Michelle really is the selling point. Sadly I only have a one legal show quota, so it’s really a battle between this and Boston Legal. Taye Diggs is a midget.

Nip/Tuck

Ugh. This was a kind of disappointing finale. The whole transsexual storyline was a nice twist. But the cliffhanger was kind of anticlimactic because it relied on a huge suspension of disbelief. How did the carver get into Christian’s crib? Why didn’t Christian have extra security after Shawn was attacked? And it didn’t have the same affect, considering that Christian was just sliced by a psycho less than a month ago. For a show as hyped as it is, Nip/Tuck seems more like Gyp/Suck.

Lost

I like how their lives before the crash are shown in flashbacks. It’s a nice touch. But I didn’t like the sappy ending. I also didn’t like how the redneck didn’t have the common sense to go for a headshot. What sense does that make? Has the guy never played a video game? But besides that the show probably has me for the season.

Jack & Bobby

I’ve actually watched every episode and it’s an “ok” show. It’s interesting how the glimpses of the future tie into what’s happening in the present. But the show hasn’t really hooked me yet. I’m really hoping that race comes up eventually.

Smallville

I dig how the show has given up on using anything other than Krypton or Kryptonite as the catalyst for any happenings on the show. I mean, they didn’t even bother to explain that the mad doctor used “meteor rocks” as part of the technique. And does it bother anyone else that a place called Smallville has a pretty advanced scientific community? Hopefully Lex will begin to have some spotlights, because this show is really losing it’s luster.

Dream Job

I despise “reality tv.” But I’m diggin’ Dream Job. I watched last season. I’m watching this season. It’s a fun show and I’m actually invested in it. Steven A. Smith is a beast. I’m pulling for Winston or Grant to actually win.

A Quick Aside

I was partially watching Thirteen and I was kind of appalled at it. I mean here is a flick about how some kids are supposed to act, kind of like a (Prepubescent) Girls Gone Wild. Yeah, the do drugs. Yeah they steal. But the scene where they are in the park making out really offended me as did the scene in the house.

Here you have some girls doing outrageous things, which are meant to offend and shock. But who are they making out with? A couple of Black guys. It’s so stereotypically racist that I had to turn the channel. Some may think that I’m making a big deal, but look at the flick like this; everything the girls do is meant to be so outlandish that you think “I can’t believe a thirteen year old is doing that.” They steal and they do drugs. They lie. But every scene is designed for the maximum pushing of the envelope. And what is really more shocking than a white girl with a Black guy?

I highly doubt that when casting for the roles of those guys they were looking for guys who looked like Topher Grace or Josh Hartnett. They wanted Black guys, because Black guys are more of a threat. It’s the same thing that happened in Traffic (speaking of Topher Grace) when the daughter gives herself to the drug dealer. Sure it’s bad that she’s selling herself for drugs, but it’s even worse because he’s Black. She’s really debasing herself, by sinking to that level. But again that’s just an observation.

Our Feature Presentation

BET Uncut is an idea whose time arrived too late for me. I mean if I had access to BET Uncut when I was in 6th grade life would have been grand. I’d kill to be going through puberty right about now. Now only would I have plenty of white girls rebelling against conventions to tongue down, much to the shock of the viewing public, but I’d have BET Uncut.

For those of you who aren’t in the know, BET Uncut is where BET shows videos that are “too hot” for primetime. It airs from 3am to 4am. The videos are still censored, but there is plenty of jiggling going on.

When I was coming up I didn’t have BET Uncut. Sure there were Van Halen videos, but they weren’t nearly as questionable. For the really questionable material I’d have to watch scrambled cable and pray for a glimpse of something that could possibly resemble a bare breast. Well that and magazines (paper pornography, I bet kids nowadays wouldn’t know what to do with a porno mag.)

But now rappers can play their more sexually suggestive videos on BET in the wee hours of the morning. Nothing is scrambled! It’s all there in living color. Living, glistening, jiggling or firm, color.

Want to see that video that got Nelly into a minor brouhaha? Tune into BET Uncut. Want to see unrated versions of videos that you see in prime time? Tune into BET Uncut. Want to see crappy regional artists with their horribly recorded songs and even worse produced videos? Tune into BET Uncut.

The videos basically consist of women wearing very little. There is the occasional bump and/or grind. It’s not rare to see s shower scene. Bubble baths are a common occurrence. Frequent settings are strip clubs, spacious back yards and pools. Silicone is practically required as are slow-motion shots. Every part of the breast is ok so be shown except for the nipple (damn you Janet!”¦Aw, I could never stay mad at you, so long as you dump Jermaine Dupri.) It’s really a young man’s dream come true. Sure, in order to appreciate some videos you have to mute them, but their still visually “stimulating.”

There are also reasonable reasons to watch it. It was on Uncut that I first saw Jaylib’s “McNasty Filth” from the Champion Sound, one of last years best albums. I also recently saw “Find Us” by the Beatnuts, who don’t seem to get airplay outside of Uncut, which is a shame.

But man, if I had Uncut to “help” through the world would certainly be a better place. At the very least I would have been taught me that Black women are sexual objects at a much younger age. I didn’t learn that until college.

Right about now you should feel anger rising, here you clicked on a column expecting to read something well written or at least thought out. But instead you read this. Here, these will make you feel better;

Coogan gives you his thoughts on Boston Legal.

Carlos gives you a rundown on SNL.

Mike share some Simpsons memories.

3 Tha Friday

Aaron is the soul controller of Friday. He’s got them on lock. Read him and see how Fridays are meant to be.

Joe’s new column isn’t up (yet) but his new look is snazzy. He’s like the second in command of Fridays. Read him and chuckle or perhaps guffaw.

Dope Video of the Week

Ready For The World – Oh Shelia

I defy you to find a video with more Jheri© Curls in it. Seriously the Jheri© Curl to band member ratio is 1:1. I’m not joking. Plus the choreography is that typical 80’s dopeness. Videos gets no better than this one.

Laters.