Weekend News



Weekend News, 10-10-04

Hello all! For those of you who may have missed my debut last weekend (shame
on you!), my name is Andy Campbell, and I’m the weekend news guy. I’d
like to thank those of you who wrote/IMed me with feedback; much appreciated,
mates. Keep it coming!

Moving on: this was a REALLY slow news week, but luckily, you get my No Mercy
opinions! On with the show…


News

Story
WrestlingObserver.com and PWTorch.com are both reporting that Booker T is not
on the European tour, getting his liver checked out, and pulled off the tour
at the last second after an MRI. InsidePulse reported today that according to
PWInsider.com, Booker IS in fact in Europe, working through a cracked rib. More
on this as we have it.
credit: pwtorch.com & wrestlingobserver.com

One Asshole’s Opinion
Man, you know it’s a slow news week when THIS is the best we’ve got. Does anyone
honestly give a shit if Booker T is in Europe or not? I don’t.

Story
According to PWTorch.com, the big reason Vince McMahon was upset with Ric Flair’s
ad libbed comment about "making virgins bleed" this Monday on RAW
is that several sponsors and affiliates were in attendance due to them being
located in New York. He kept Flair past midnight to scold him, but contrary
to prior reports, the comment was not edited off West Coast broadcasts.
credit: pwtorch.com

One Asshole’s Opinion
For the love of God, the man gives an awesome promo and gets scolded. Let’s
get over it, shall we?

Story
PWInsider.com is reporting that there has been a lot of talk that Pat Patterson
– who has been observing RAW and SD lately in order to make suggestions on possible
changes – has pointed out to Vince McMahon that Triple H being on top right
and dominating the shows at the expense of the other characters is a problem.
This goes along the line of thinking that the more characters and storylines
that are developed and able to get over, the stronger the product would be.
No word on how this will impact long-time RAW head Brian Gewirtz.

One Asshole’s Opinion
Hoo boy. How many people think that this actually doesn’t mean anything? Oh,
and just wondering: does anyone actually know the name of Raw’s head writer?
I’ve seen it spelled so many different ways, it’s not funny: Gewirtz, Gerwitz,
Gerschwitz, Galactus…COME ON MELTZER! COME ON KELLER! COME ON SCHERER! YOUR
"SOURCES" CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU HOW TO SPELL ONE ASSHOLE’S NAME????
*whew* I feel better now.


The Adventure of Links

No Hyatte or Flea this week, but Eric
came through, as he always does.

Go read Mathan
in the Nexus. Great column week after week. And hey, one of these days he may
even answer my question! 😉

Also, look for the return of Iain
Burnside
in the week upcoming!


No Mercy

I was pleasantly surprised, overall, with the quality of No Mercy; I can honestly
say I enjoyed the show. I still can’t justify paying $35 for a PPV, though…not
even for the big ones (which usually cost more anyway).

Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Eddie Guerrero (frog splash)
Well, I got the winner right, if not the method. I was really expecting more
interference from Jindrak to build up the heel stable, but all he did was deliver
two kicks. TWO! Anyway, I enjoyed this match for the most part, though I think
the huge segment with Luther on offence needed to be broken up a bit.

Spike Dudley (c) vs. Nunzio – WWE Cruiserweight Title
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Spike Dudley (interference from Dudleys)
I thought this was a fun match. I’ve always been a fan of Nunzio’s style in
the ring, but I thought that this match was high-paced enough for the cruiserweight
purists out there. Not as high-flying, but still. You had to save that for the
next match. Anyway, I was right-on with the result of this match.

Paul London vs. Billy Kidman
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Kidman (shooting star press)
I was right about this one too. This feud has barely started, so it would have
been silly to end it prematurely with a London win. Anyway, I thought this match
was great; it was very energetic, and I thought the participants did a good
job conveying the proper emotions. When London busted out his picture-perfect
shooting star press, the marks in the audience who’d never seen it before certainly
reacted. Actually, I was pleasantly surprised at the crowd reaction the match
received as a whole.

Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree (c) vs. Rey Mysterio & RVD – WWE Tag
Team Titles
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winners: Suzuki and Dupree (Suzuki uses ropes for leverage)
Another notch in my nonexistent belt. This match, in my opinion, was a lot of
fun. I think that the tag champs are really starting to come into their own.
Suzuki’s "Born in the USA" bit had my laughing my ass off. RVD and
Rey can always be counted on to get the audience into the match, and regardless
of the outcome, I think this would have been a way better opener.

I’d like to take a short intermission to mention that Cole and Tazz have more
than come into their own. They are by far the best announcing team in wrestling
today. During this match especially I noticed this; Cole and Tazz had a really
witty rapport going. That sort of thing really adds to the show. They truly
are a beacon of light in a dark, dismal world of wrestling announcers. I cannot
believe how incredibly awful some announcers are. For instance, our regional
sports network here in Buffalo gets IWA: Puerto Rico (an odd choice). Their
announce team is the most dreadful I have ever heard in my life. They even make
me long for JR’s senility and Lawler’s creepy horniness. The colour commentary
consists of: "He’s a really tough competitor…he knows a lot of moves!"
while the play-by-play consists of: "Wow! Did you see that? What a move!"
These guys make Don West look like Gordon Solie. Anyway, back to the show…

Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Big Show (chokeslam from top turnbuckle)
Hey, I got this one right too! This match was nothing stellar, but it wasn’t
heinous either. I’ve never been a fan of the Big Show, but Angle did a decent
job carrying him. I think the pacing was right on; nothing got too plodding
or boring, unlike Luther’s offence in the first match. Both men stuck to their
strengths and hid each other’s weaknesses, and that’s all you can ask from a
Big Show match.

Booker T (c) vs. John Cena – WWE US Title
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: John Cena (FU)
The final match of the Best of Five series was good enough, if not earth-shattering.
Cena didn’t look as "off" as he usually does, so that’s good. This
is the one match for which I guessed the wrong outcome. I was confused that
they would give him the title what with him leaving, until I saw the results
for Smackdown. Now I’m confused, but not about that.

The Dudleys and Dawn Marie vs. Rico, Charlie Haas, and Miss Jackie
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Rico, Charlie, and Jackie (Rico moonsault)
Good choice for the penultimate match of the night, as it provided a "cushion"
of sorts between the two big title matches. Fun little comedy match, with all
the appropriate Rico "gay" spots.

JBL (c) vs. The Undertaker – WWE Title – Last Ride Match
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: JBL (Heidenreich interference)
Alright, here’s my deal. I like JBL…until he gets in the ring. I mean, this
match accomplished what it set out to accomplish, and there were a few nice,
gory spots. Overall, though, I thought it was dull and plodding. Ah well. I
wasn’t expecting much, so I wasn’t let down.


Smackdown

Well, Smackdown hasn’t finished downloading yet, so once again, no report/comments
from me. If anyone can tell me a good place to get torrents, I would appreciate
it, because the current site I use doesn’t have Smackdown up until Saturday
morning. Anyway, I was hoping to be able to comment on Carlito Caribbean Cool,
but I guess that will have to wait.


Coming to a Cinema Near You

Due to some not-so-savvy business deals, mob boss Vito Corleone is gunned down,
along with his consigliere, and his sons Fredo, Sonny, and Michael. Distant
cousin Kama Mustafa Corleone is called in to take control of the family as the
new Godfather. The Ho Train arrives and immediately starts cleaning up the town,
forgoing the bent-nose "Luca Brazi" types for a bevy of hos instead.
The rival families all take the option of accepting the hos rather than face
the wrath of the new…colourful (in more ways than one!)…Corleone
Godfather.


Well, that’ll do it for this week. Keep the e-mails and IMs coming, and let
me know what you thought, along with any suggestions of things you’d like to
see here.

AIM = GoldenAce 007