Saturday Evening Post

Yeah that’s a bummer. But, I’m drunk anyways and I couldn’t imagine wasting bullet on that prick Piper…much less him having an "accident". Rationally, I have a hard time believing that after all this time, they are going to blow Big Money on The Clique and Piper…and others, I’m sure. Irrationally, I’m reading all the above are "a given" and….oh man…. wouldn’t it be a riot if….just saying. Just saying nothing, Catfish. It would be a trip, to say the least…possible. I suppose I’ll get the PPV, just for shits and giggles. I just hope they sell better for Styles than Luger did.

and Eric S. said this too…(re: Dawn Marie)

Damn Straight. Simon Diamond…whoa. Swapping in this instance is allowed. Did I ever tell you about the time I asked Hyatte to mail me his finger? We may be getting ahead of ourselves, hawr.

Come on!…let’s GO!

I was enlightened ( hey, I ain’t typing sold…or told ) that TABOO TUESDAY is about upon us, and we should BUY IT, lest we turn in our mark cards and drive down the price of my stock …

It’s OUR PAY PPV! We am Booking, y’all!

Yeah right. If I was booking, I would take the whole damn show on tour to the rest of the world while certain wrong parts of this get straightened out. Booking on the fly only works if your name is Paul E. and… wow – they are on an overseas tour, but I highly doubt any Propers are being Planned to Prevent Piss Poor Performance.

I was asked today where I stood on Taboo Tuesday….I’m thinking it may be better to let the participants speak for themselves:

All well and good, but guess who spoils my fun – I guess it’s a fair trade off for swiping the above…

Note from Joey Styles: Despite being only 5’8" and 215 pounds (not 6′ and 231 pounds as listed on WWE.com), Chris Jericho’s charisma should send a wake up call to WWE management that personality like his will always draw more money than yet another tall steriod-fueled, bodybuilder who "turns heads in airports" to quote Vince McMahon.

You have to stop and think – 90% of McMahon’s $700 million (as reported in Forbes) came from over-exaggeration and, when times got tough, blind luck. Charisma…okay. But it talks a certain relationship with the audience to evolve into "something special"…Austin had it – Rock learned it…did Y2J, during his first two years, have what it takes to make the jump to "that level"? Blame HHH, says the opinion of most people who keep track of these things – I used to type about this all the time.  A few years ago you had Austin, Rock, HHH, Angle and…who? Just Some Other Guy. I always liked Y2J about the same as I do RVD – good entertainment, but sloppy enough that the furthest they should ascend is " Upper Card" or "Co- Main Event" level for something like the IC Title.  Always be in the hunt for the Top Belt, but don’t go to the extent where my intelligence is insulted by either one walking around as Champeen. Legend has it that Vince does not care for guys that do not look like they could take * him * in a fight – i.e. wrestlers smaller than him. I don’t doubt for a second that Benoit would knock Old Man Freak’s dick in the dirt, but wrestling ain’t a real fight. Like it or not,  Vince has made a ton of money doing it his way and he is the one still standing…it’s tough to argue against success.  

Taboo Tuesday…sometimes modern technology kicks you right in the balls. Why get the unwashed masses involved? I’m all for progress, but sometime these things get out of hand. One thing I hate worse than anything, in any sport, is fan participation. For some reason popular sports – in this case WWE – think that getting "the fans" involved makes the event more interesting and allows "the audience" to become "one" with the show – so stupid. You see this all the time…some jerk at a basketball game heaving a prayer from mid-court for ONE MILLION DOLLARS…The Lambeau Leap…and the latest….Competitive Heckling and Let’s See if We Can Get Bill Ballplayer to Throw Something At Us at the Baseball Game. And Drawr a Lawsuit.  

Note to all fans – even those sweating  the Soap Box Derby – you already HAVE a job when you attend the events. Cheer and / or Boo. You are not the f*cking show and can easily be replaced by Blue Screen, if need be. But Flea? How would teams survive without Live Event Revenue? Hint – The IBM Blue Screen with Crowd Noise in THX Surround Sound sponsored by GE. Try to remember that the next time you get drunk and thrown out…you are expendable.

Which brings us back to Why? As in Why get these schmucks involved. Just book the damn show. WWE has obviously steered the "booking" in the general direction they want…what hasn’t been 100% confirmed is if the whole spec – tacular is rigged anyway. Most are keeping the faith that "fan voting" will have a determination on the final PPV Card, but are not holding their collective bad breath thinking we are going to see anything like The Brooklyn Brawler gracing us with his presence in the Main Event. Looks like the strangest thing that could happen is Jericho booked to fight Rosey…but all that means is it would likely end up being Y2J vs. Rhyno anyway, after Rosey does the j.o.b. in under Three Minutes. I guess a Flair vs. Orton Submission Match would piss on a bunch of people’s parade…seeing as Orton only knows Chin Lock – which is Rest Hold, not Sub Mission. But hell, you know Flair will sell his ass off…I’m guessing we get the Steel Cage.

For the Main Event, the choices are Benoit, HBK and Edge. I have hard time believing they would blow Edge’s title shot at a throw-off PPV experiment, but no one’s head appears to be to clear at the moment when it comes to long term planning. Edge has a cool vibe going on right now, where he is explaining to everybody (killer promo last week, reiterated in his quote above) that he has done everything BUT fight for the Big Belt, which could go either way; if the fans do not get behind him ala Benoit and Eddy…just make him a desperate, out for himself prick, who is going to do what it takes to get the glory. I would prefer the latter, and hopefully they allow the angle to develop instead of him getting ANY shot, or do any high profile j.o.b.’s at least until after Wrestlemaina. In other words, have a plan longer than next month. I’m thinking they may go with yet another "Three Way" match with H, Benoit and HBK – Benoit is the Net’s runaway favorite – but no way in the world is HBK going to sit out a PPV like this.            

Other matches feature Eugene and Bischoff up to something, with the end result most likely being a head shaving – couldn’t care less….or about the Catfight or the Women’s Battle Royal…The REAL MAIN EVENT is:

Kane vs. Snitsky

Kane blames Gene Snitsky for the tragic loss of his unborn son. And now the Big Red Monster plans on making the WWE rookie pay dearly. 

Snitsky hit Kane in the back with a steel chair during a match earlier this month, pushing Kane into his pregnant wife Lita, who eventually fell hard to the mat. One week later, Kane and Lita lost their unborn child. Snitsky has barely shown any remorse for the incident, further infuriating Kane.

 

And recently on RAW, it was Snitsky who gave a beating to Kane with a lead pipe.

 

Now, the two will meet at Taboo Tuesday in a "Weapons of Choice" Match. WWE fans will decide whether a lead pipe, steel chair or steel chain will be totally legal.

 

If either Kane or Snitsky can get to the weapon, they are free to use it.

 – preview at WWE.com

Fucking A. Let me read that one part again…

Snitsky hit Kane in the back with a steel chair during a match earlier this month, pushing Kane into his pregnant wife Lita, who eventually fell hard to the mat. One week later, Kane and Lita lost their unborn child. Snitsky has barely shown any remorse for the incident, further infuriating Kane.

WOW! Check this out…

Nurse Harris dies before she can exonerate Emily in front of Ric, who later learns the nurse was murdered. Tracy, meanwhile, is unsettled when Helena shows the the book of Cassidine curses. Helena claims to Emily and Nikolas that the hex killed Nurse Harris

 – General Hospital Review, Soap Opera Digest 10.12.04

The only consistency in the booking over the last few years is, yes, indeed, wrestling is a Soap Opera for Men, just like Vince told you during the Attitude period. And if Vince tells you that Taboo Tuesday is for YOU, the FAN, you better damn well believe it. Never forget how easily you can be replaced.

I think [the idea] bleeping sucks. The fans shouldn’t decide anything.

 – HHH

I don’t think that the fans are really deciding my fate, because I decide my own fate, by being prepared for anything and everything once I step through the ropes.

   – Benoit

It doesn’t matter if it’s man, woman, or beast — bring ’em.

– Trish Stratus

Beast…hyuck! 

HEADLINES 

Speaking of HHH, it appears that he has a new foe to deal with politically. And this one may be his toughest yet – its the One and Only Pat Patterson, Vince’s Right Hand Man and Close Advisor / Confidant for the last 25 years. The story, as reported, goes like this:

Patterson has recently explained to Vince, after performing a top to bottom, very thorough evaluation of the entire WWE roster, he came…to the conclusion that the biggest problem at the moment is HHH, and his overexposure. Patterson doesn’t like that HHH is always on top and very dominant…all the boys underneath are having a tough time getting over the hump. Patterson (and remember, he has ton of knowledge and experience – one of the best, which is why Vince keeps him around) believes that more of the boys need to be included, as the more "over" bodies you have on the roster, the better it would be for everyone involved. 

A recent update to this – it appears sides have clearly been drawn, as Patterson’s vociferous objections to HHH’s position may fall upon deaf ears, as H is now a McMahon, like it or else. There is even talk about Patterson "leaving the WWE" over this – I’m keeping an eye on this one, that’s for sure. This is the REAL political stuff – not amateur horseshit like not doing a job or changing a finish or even booking an angle where your opponent picks up the shit of your Wife’s dog. Nope – this is for real (if it’s true, that is)…HHH worming his way into the family, forcing out all of the old guard, while convincing his naked Emperor that his robe is waaayyy more stylin and profilin that anything Flair ever wore…more on this story next week. I hope.       

A few weeks ago I told you about John "Earthquake" Tenta’s battle with cancer…here is an update:

Good news/Bad news. Good news is the tumor has shrunk at least half, bad news the lymph nodes are the same but only have to shrink 2mm to be normal size again. I go back in tomorrow for the third round of chemo.They are thinking of 4 more chemo treatments so that’s three more months. Lots of time to try get my book written.

All the best.

‘Quake

– Wrestlecrap Message Board

Tke Honky Tonk Man is up to no good again, as he "broke" a story about Kane…saying:

Rumors have surfaced that Kane has given his notice to WWe. It is not known at this point if the rumors are for real. It seems there may have been a substantial cut in dollar amount on the renewal of the contract. Kane was said not to be happy with the numbers. The story is developing and we will have more on this huge turn of events.

 – Honky Tonk Man, 10.3.04 

 Of course, no one bought into it. Hey, when you have a track record like HTM’s it’s not like you are going to taken all that seriously – that’s just the way it is. But then, Keller and his Gang had to get involved…

PWTorch.com has been told by mulitple sources that there is truth to HTM’s report about Kane having contract renegotiation issues with WWE. Two different wrestler says that Kane is definitely having problems with his renegotiations with WWE. Also, separate sources say that front office staffers were talking about it all day yesterday, and not due to HTM’s report but rather internal knowledge of the situation. Apparently the blow-up occurred on Sunday and Kane’s future with WWE is in doubt at this point, although there remains a solid chance the situation will be worked out. However, his tenuous status may explain why he was beaten down by Gene Snitsky on Raw. Confusing the situation is that Kane is scheduled to take part in a WWE-produced movie. There is no word on whether that is a separate deal or whether that will be affected by the contract situation.

 – Torch, 10.5.04

OH MY GOD LET THE CROWING BEGIN!…here is the follow up post on HTM’s website, saying you better recognize, sucka

Despite Meltzer, Scherer, and various other internet reporter’s claims that the story the Honky Tonk Man posted about Kane’s contract issues being false, The Pro Wrestling Torch confirmed the story to be accurate moments ago. For more information, visit http://www.pwtorch.com/artman/publish/article_10281.shtml

As a personal message to the "journalists" that disputed these claims and called the Honky Tonk Man a liar, we expect your apologizes shortly.

 – Ryan Smith, HTM’s site, 10.5.04

Ha ha ha. For some reason, I don’t see an apology coming anytime soon. And some Flea Advice: just because Keller said it…well, let’s just say he is the least accurate of the three on most things. Just saying. 

While we are on the topic of HTM, here is his latest….

HTM has first hand knowledge of the WWE Slash and Burn policy when times get tuff. The four blind boys from Alabama can see and smell when the WWE feces is flushed as it swirls downward in the toilet of stale talent and out of the universe storylines. The policy is simple. When the houses and the ratings hit the crapper, the pay goes down the same toilet.

We have reported a rumor circulating about the renewal of Kane’s contract and him not liking the figures WWE came up with. We understand from some sources the numbers were horribly lower than his present deal. HTM knows WWe history from a past incident very similar to this one. HTM reported a couple of years ago on the D’Lo Brown money problem with Vinnie Mack. We reported D’Lo was taking a hike, and he did. Will Kane take the same hike? At this point we are not sure. Keep in mind, there is not a short list of recent Slash And Burn former employees. There are several names no longer with the company. Tom Prichard is one.

I saw where Tom did and interview about his departure. He still takes the high road and comes off too politically correct for us to ask for a real Shoot. I can offer him some advice which seemed to have worked for the old Kink. Make a net post of all e-mail and phone numbers of the WWE staff. Go on radio and net talk shows to say what Kink said, If Vince McMahon was killed in a car wreck, I would not care. Better yet, just do what Kink did, not what he said. He posted a fax on the net literally begging for Vince to please make things like it was before I walked out on you. Please Vince, just give me my job back! What a man you are Kink. Tom you could be just like the Kink!

Back to the Slash and Burn. I have not heard any reports of the Boy Toy Shawn Michaels of the Oh Brothers getting the old Steely Dan up the backside on his contract. What I do know from a former inside source from Talent Relations is when the last Slash and Burn came around a couple of years ago, Michaels was on the list at 750 grand a year but was not working for the company. He had a very bad back, remember? When the discussion came to Slashing his deal word was, "that one stays where it is." Also I have not heard of the Macks and the lieutenants standing in line at Southwest Airlines. Seems there is dough for the private jet. Maybe some slashed contract dough.

Till we meet again,

Adios

 – HTM, 10.4.04

I *think* I know what he is talking about, but I’m not really sure. I mean, what the f*ck. For the uninitiated, my columns are a little tough to follow sometimes, but once you get it, it works. But goddamn, I would never use a line like:

I have not heard any reports of the Boy Toy Shawn Michaels of the Oh Brothers getting the old Steely Dan up the backside on his contract.

If only because most of my readers would not even BEGIN to know from Steely Dan. 

ROLL THE DICE

The best site on the IWC right now is www.vincerussoforgiven.com. I’m hooked. He’s writing a book and has excerpts available for your perusal…an "Open Letter" detailing why you should not besmirch the good name of Russo and…effective 10.5.04, Terry Taylor is part of the Ministry. Yessiree, column and all…

Not to be mean, but I should point out that Taylor…hawr! he should be at Inside Pulse. That guy will write for anyone. Ask Al Isaacs.  

 Vince Russo is forgiven. Terry Taylor is forgiven. It says in John 6:37 –

“¦ him that cometh to me I will no wise cast out

God turns no one away. Believe on the Lord Jesus and you too will be FORGIVEN!

God bless you.

Terry Taylor