X-Force #3 Review

Reviewer: James Hatton
Story Title: The Big Picture

Everything: Rob Liefeld (it says that)
Script: Fabian Nicieza
Colorist: Matt Yackey
Letters: VC’s Rus Wooton
Editor: Mike Marts
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Let me explain one special thing about this review before we start. I requested this review.

Why Jamie? Why did you go out of your way to request to review a book that is the equivalent of somebody crapping on a piece of paper? Why did you in fact ask to torture yourself, and possibly cause a certain degree of blindness by staring at these pages? Jamie, we love you, and for as much as Morse cracks those drunk jokes – we never really believed them until now.

I’ll tell you why. It’s honestly very simple. I’ve come to realize that the best reviews I do come out of one of two kinds of books:
1 – Exceptional books like District X
2 – Horrendous books like Jubilee

So, I figured if I was to review an issue of X-Force, I might win a frigging Nobel Prize for excellence in writing – and trust me, it’s not because this is a piece of literature.

Story!

Cable, Domino, and Shatterstar have gathered some old friends together to try and stop the Skornn. There is some hoopla about Cable possibly being a traitor in the future, and Cannonball has just been given this story by Spectre. (No, not Hal Jordan)

In this issue filled with stodgy dialogue and characterization forgotten, Cable and Cannonball duke it out as the other X-Force folk pointlessly fight off some droids. Shatterstar and Spectre disappear and go have an impromptu swordfight that seemingly happens somewhere else. At the end of the issue, the Skornn (which looks remarkably like one of the Brood (who look remarkably like Queen Aliens)) rises to take down Cable personally.

Nicieza has done much better in his career. As I said earlier, the dialogue comes out VERY stilted and really sounds like this book happens in old continuity as it completely ignores any kind of growth that these characters had after Cable left the book, which was quite alot. That’s the main problem I’m having with this title – the other one comes up in the art section – but the problem is that everyone seems to be ignoring too much with this title. Ignoring that X-Force ended solemnly with a definite ‘non-fighting team’ feel. That there was a conspiratorial like end to the book involving Domino and Pete Wisdom.

Why does all that decent storytelling go down the crapper because they watned to resurrect a team to it’s former glory of bad comics?

Art!

Now here comes the Liefeld bashing, you might say – and you know what. Here it is!

I will say that some of Liefeld’s art has improved, he has gone to the Michael Turner University On Drawing Proper Eyes and they are looking quite nice. Hey, he still hasn’t gone to the Timm & Dini School of proper stances though. Every page has at least one mindless action pose. I do believe his mouths have gotten worse. On the first page, a dead ancient warrior’s mouth looks like it’s already frozen with rigamortis and later, an unconcious Cannonball looks like his tongue should be hanging out in a comical posture.

Why.. WHY.. I ASK THEE WHY!? Liefield’s art is used in figure drawing classes to show kids what not to do – no I’m not kidding – and he apparently has enough sway at Marvel again to get this, another Shatterstar Miniseries, and an X-Force Vol. 3!!! DOES HE HAVE PHOTOS OF QUESADA WITH BENDIS’ WIFE!?!? WHAT IS GOING ON!

Overall!

I will only continue reading this when I need to feel righteous indignation and rage. I suggest you do the same. Outside of the comic book spectrum, I’ve heard Liefeld is an ok guy to hang around and talk to. That doesn’t change the fact that someone should break all of his pencils – steal his pencil sharpner – and get him a nice cushy desk job selling insurance.