Saturday Evening Post

as I intended this can be found HERE

"When the first Superman movie came out I was frequently
asked ‘What is a hero?’ I remember the glib response I repeated so many times.
My answer was that a hero is someone who commits a courageous action without
considering the consequences–a soldier who crawls out of a foxhole to drag an
injured buddy to safety. And I also meant individuals who are slightly larger
than life: Houdini and Lindbergh, John Wayne, JFK, and Joe DiMaggio. Now my
definition is completely different. I think a hero is an ordinary individual
who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles:
a fifteen-year-old boy who landed on his head while wrestling with his
brother, leaving him barely able to swallow or speak; Travis Roy, paralyzed in
the first thirty seconds of a hockey game in his freshman year at college.
These are real heroes, and so are the families and friends who have stood by
them."

 – Christopher Reeve, Still Me

"Let’s see some justice. Strong guys
like George Reeves don’t kill themselves." 

 – Actor Gig Young, commenting on the
"suicide death" of the original celluloid Superman

A horse is a horse

Of course, of course

Until you fall off the back of your horse

A self centered prick that had bad luck

Became an inspiration to a world full of
schmucks

 – overheard somewhere

Tom Billington (Dynamite Kid), 45, needed part of one of his legs
amputated because of an injury suffered when he fell out if his wheelchair.
Billington is in bad shape now. 

 – Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Newsletter

Some people get what they deserve, said John Lennon. He, of course, is much
more poetic than I, and phrased it as "Instant Karma’s gonna get you"…and
he was right. Dave Mustaine wrote the other one of my favorites – "Wake Up
Dead, Motherf*cker". Yes, we all get what we deserve. You should remember
that the next time you f*ck up a life altering decision.

Hello again, it’s Flea and I am seriously contemplating on posting the bond
for New Jack to get out of jail. Have you heard that story? No? I’ll go into
more detail in the formerly named "Roll the Dice" section…

Kids – this is how you act like an adult and do what is right for the site. I
have had a subsection of my news report called "Roll The Dice"
for…wow – since I started this crap in 2K1. Dan Hevia writes a column now
call "Rolling the Dice", which is very good, something I knew would come to
be when I offered FLEA ADVICE to BOSS and gave my blessing that he be a part of
Inside Pulse. Out of deference to Hevia, I will change my column, instead of
raising hell re: gimmick infringement. No skin off my back and glad he is here.
Actually, I think I will have a FLEA GIVEAWAY and allow you, the reader, to pick
the new name of a subsection…with the winner getting a FLEA autographed
version of Netcop’s book. Details on Page Six.

Note to the rest of the site – anyone steals Page Six or anything else I’m up
to will not get the benefit of the above mentioned concession. 

Speaking of being the Judge and Jury of IWC related items, Jeb Lund
wrote  a
really cool piece of work that can be found HERE.
Go check it out – if you are reading this at 1ryderfakin.com (as you should), it
will open in a new window, so the lack of navigational dexterity should not get
on your cloud. Send all feedback, good or bad, to Lund, not me. Grazi.

Music Lovers? I’m sure you are out there. I highly recommend Dolly Parton’s
version of "I Will Always Love You". I hadn’t heard it in…HeySous…about
15 years. Absolutely devastating in it’s delivery and emotion. Whitney Houston
can continue to get slapped around and keep sucking Bobby Brown’s black cock,
cause she sure can ruin a good song. I got trapped watching The Bodygawrd for
the umpteenth time the other night, coming to the conclusion that Costner would
have behooved himself to 1) shoot her, 2) shoot himself or 3) deliver Mail to a
vicious pack of Wolves.

I have never figured out the attraction to the chick singers who have to turn
everything they sing into a 3rd Rate Three Penny Opera, with false-ettos and key
changes that make any fan of music want to jab a sharp object in their ear. That
cunt Streisand is the most guilty- Celine and Whitney are neck and neck for
Second Place and to hell with the rest of them. The original VH1 Divas sawr
Aretha and Carole King blow a bunch of the amateurs away – and neither of them
were even trying that hard. Holy shit, I’m about to write 5,000 words on this
and that ain’t why you are here. Let me sum it up and move onto Meat and / or
Potatoes…

FLEA’S LITMUS TEST FOR ANY DUMB BROAD WHO WANTS TO SING

Here are the standards to which you will need to meet to be acceptable

  • Tina Turner singing "Proud Mary"
  • Chrissy Hynde singing "Back on the Chain Gang"
  • Janis Joplin singing "Ball and Chain"

Honorable mention goes to Mary of Peter and Paul Fame – "Leaving on a
Jet Plane" and Melissa Etheridge singing "Like the Way I Do".
Strong stuff…and it doesn’t matter if the girl you are with thinks it’s the
Cat’s Meow or Whale Shit…music is what separates Man from Beast. I could live
without a thumb, I have a driver. But thank God my Music is still alive…

C’mon…Let’s GO!

(SIDE NOTE) – C’mon Let’s Go is a brilliant Ritchie Valens (the dude who sang
"La Bamba", Ned Not Knowing)….and Etheridge stole his wife and
turned her full dyke. THAT’S talent.

TOP STORY

I told CRZ that I thought Taboo Tuesday was
nothing more than an "I Told You So" from WWE, proving that when the
IWC books things, the show sucks a donkey’s dick. The only thing I liked about
it was HBK showing that he works better on one leg than 90% of the wrestlers in
the business work on two. Other than that….ugh. A quick review and then I will move
on – no
sense in living in the past…

WWE Intercontinental Championship match
Shelton Benjamin d. Chris Jericho

Benjamin wins WWE Intercontinental Championship

 – This won’t mean a f*cking thing in two
months. Good match, but who is heel / who is face? The respect thing can only go
so far, and Y2J should have kicked him in the balls to turn heel. Jericho as a
face sucks and they never give the mic to SB long enough anymore for him to show
any kind of personality, so all the above is for naught. In honor of Pat Patterson’s
last night with the company, you would think they could have made the IC Belt resemble
something that could be compared, if you were dead drunk, to something that
resembles relevant. Nope. 10 minutes as the opener and Thank You Kindly, Pal. 

Women’s Battle Royal – WWE Women’s
Championship match
Jazz vs. Stacy Kiebler vs. Molly Holly vs.
Victoria vs. Trish Stratus vs. Gail Kim vs. Nidia

Trish Stratus eliminated Molly Holly to retain

 – You know what half of $300 bucks buys? Hopefully
a foursome. NEXT

Steel Chain matchGene Snitsky d. Kane

Snitsky gets the win 

 – Ha ah aha ha hah aha – the IWC shows their true colors like clockwork. Ain’t
Snitksy GREAT! Oh wait – it’s the booking, not the wrestling that gets someone
over. And people wonder why ECW was the "success" it was. Of course,
Gordon / Heyman proved to everyone that workers like Benoit, Malenko and Eddy
could put on a better show than ignorant stiffs like Nash, Hogan and Sid…but
natch – ain’t a damn one of the midgets ever drawn money, so Vince continues to
get his rocks of on big ugly f*ckers like Snit and Heidenriech. And the IWC
anoints said stiffs as "cult favorites" and…"Ok, he can’t work
a lick but he is being booked well, so that’s good enough for me."

 – Three letters – JBL. Bradshawr has worked his ass off the last six months,
fresh character, took the ball and ran and isn’t doing any worse than the golden
children of the IWC as champeen. Of course, when Eddy and Benoit are champs,
it’s the cyclical nature if the business and "goddamn, things were going
downhill anyways, that f*cking HHH"…but…Snitsky wins, Kane goes and
makes a movie (more on that next week – I can’t believe alleged smart people
haven’t put two and two together re: Eye Scream Man) and we have a new cult
favorite – Gene Snitsky. Sleep with the Dogs, Wake up Eating Fish.

Head Gets Shaved MatchEugene d. Eric Bischoff

 – A certain member of the IWC had the audacity to claim "We Was
Robbed" for Bisch not being shaved completely bald. Yeah – that’s just how
I wanted to spend another 15 minutes of my PPV money – Dinsmore had enough
trouble with $2 clippers and a pair of scissors that made Daffy Duck hang his
bill in shame…let’s spend another 15 minutes with Soap, Lather and a Shave a
Haircut. Two Bits…I have a nice theory about Vince’s revenge motives that I
should probably give to Hi-Rate to do as AAT. But, WWE is making me money being
a stockholder, Shapiro, and I don’t feel the need to complain at the moment.

World Tag Team Championship match – La Resistance (Sylvain Grenier / Robert Conway)
vs. Chris Benoit / Edge

Benoit d. Conway

Benoit / Edge win World Tag Team Championship

 – Horrible. For whatever reason, they
can’t figure out
what to do with Edge…Benoit can’t carry three people standing on the apron all
night, Conway still hasn’t progressed past OVW and Grenier’s "biggest
supporter" has left the building. Tag Team Wrestling itself has become a
lost artform – most of the time teams are put together using the Russo Formula
or they are shoved down our throats, ala the Dudleyz to the point that the only
reason you care about the match is because of a pre-conditioned mindset
to accept the "turn or you partner" payoff, when there is no good
reason for it. Sorry that I’m old – but the Andersons, Midnight Express, RnR
Express…and for your WWF pleasure, the Rockers and Hart Foundation is how it
ought to be. Teamwork and How!!…so when one of the brother’s in arms turns, it
either breaks your heart or makes you drool with delight. America’s Most Wanted,
in TNA, is the best team is the business….I think. Fucking show is taped 20
minutes from my house and doesn’t show on TV. Anyway, this match sucked and I’m
not looking forward to the continuation of any of this. At all. 

Lingerie pillow fight – Christy Hemme d. Carmella Decesare

Hemme wins

 – I find neither of these girls hot in any way shape or form. I wouldn’t f*ck
Carmella with your dick and Hemme is the type of chick that would get fat and
ugly on you, relegating you to the sidelines in abject  ignominy in front
of your friends after a year and a half of marriage. I like it when Carmella
tells me that "I ain’t good enough for her"…I sleep very well at
night knowing that, seeing as if she had my money she would throw hers away and
I wouldn’t waste the energy to kick her out of bed. You know how to handle a
chick with an attitude like that? Bend her over a 4 1/2 x 9 Pool Table and then
proceed to cum in her eggs the next morning. Then throw her out. Of course, she *may* be
into it, but don’t let that stop you….if need be, keep her around for the
weekend, do what you please and THEN call a cab – just be sure to tell the
driver to take the "scenic route". That way everyone but you and the
cab driver GETS THE FUCK LOST.

World Heavyweight Championship match
HHH d. Shawn Michaels

 – Classic HBK. Any aspiring wrestler should watch and learn. Even better than
his broke back performance at WM XIV vs. Austin…at least God has learnt HBK to
do the job like a man instead of chewing his gum while staring at the lights.
Wasn’t worth the price of Taboo Tuesday admission, but it sure as hell cheered
me up. And marked me out. 

Steel Cage matchRandy Orton d. Ric Flair 

 – Yep – just what I wanted – Flair in the Main Event doing the J.O.B. Blood?
Check. Flair’s ass? Check. I think I have seen this movie before, but Orton
doesn’t have Jimmy Garvin’s Hair and Precious is most likely a hag at this
point. Flair rules. Heh – no matter what, Flair will always be over, the Sun
will always Rise in the….East? Yep. And Keller will continue to try and talk
you into web subscription. 66 Reasons you should come off your dough? I only need
one reason why I shouldn’t – Cause I Don’t Give A Rat’s Ass.  

Taboo Tuesday – Great Concept, Poor Execution. And there is no one to blame
but the IWC.  

HEADLINES        

Just had a great conversation with Eric S. I consider him a friend – even
though we agree on absolutely nothing as it relates to politics (actually,
that’s not true – we both agreed on what Bush is going to do to this country if
he is elected for another 4 years…and that America would be better off with a
Dictator at this point. The 20th Century of American Rule can only go so far – we
have failed miserably as a free society and it might not be a bad idea to go
back to the way it used to be – hell Rome and Athens self destructed under the
same "democracy" premise, but the Native Americans, Africans, Incas and Mayans
(also the Far East Orientals) got along just
fine for thousands of years until Whitey showed up with syphilis in their Anglo Cocks and "Occupy This
Territory"
in their souls. Come to think of it – The Spics, Niggers and Chinks could have
done without the White Man doing wrong – but…but nothing. Go check history
and see how advanced each of these cultures are. And then read about how
twisted and degenerate the Romans and Greeks were…and then just look outside
your window at what we used to call America). Scary.

Ain’t told this one in awhile ( at least not to you)

Q. Know how to separate the Greek Men from the Greek Boys? 

A. With a crowbar

And f*ck you, Captain Comic. Maybe if you showed up I would not have to have to recycle
old alleged jokes.  Sono pulce voi bambino di ain’t…Catfish

I probably should have kept typing and not taken a break. Too late
now…let’s have some fun with Joey Styles

JOEY’S NUMBER

I’m almost positive that if I cut and paste this I won’t be hassled. If so,
HA! oh man, that would be fun…

COURT: Mr. F.LEA Bailey, you are accused of plagiarism and willfully extrapolating
various news and resources from the Defendant. Is there any truth to this?

FLEA: say what?

COURT: Mr. F.LEA Bailey, you are accused of plagiarism and willfully extrapolating
various news and resources from the Defendant. 

Now, you are in a court of Lawr, and may I remind you, you are under oath. Is there any truth to the above charges? 

FLEA: You mean to tell me that I’m here because I stole news from
1wreslting.com, a site that makes a living off of stealing from other sites?

COURT: Yes. Those are the charges.

FLEA: Good. Just wanted to make sure – I’m Guilty Like Sunday Morning. I just
wanted to confirm that I’m in the right courtroom. I still have a pending
charge of Impersonating A Human Being. 

COURT: No, we are only dealing with the case of F.LEA Bailey vs. Plagiarism. The Court
finds you NOT GUILTY

FLEA: Thank You, your Honor. By the way…do you know Hyatte?

COURT: No

FLEA: Probably best then that I didn’t Name Drop…LATER! 

JOEY STYLES’ THIS WEEK IN WRESTLING 10/22/04…IF I
WERE THE BOOKER 

(Flea comments in bold)

I was travelling on business most of this week so
this will be a couple of common sense things I would do if I were the booker
of WWE or TNA:

I traveled last week (and spelled it right too)….hence the
No-Show…tell me more…  

WWE:

Move Chuck Palumbo back to SmackDown, reunite him with the FBI and have
them fued with all 3 Dudley Boyz ending with Nunzio getting the WWE
Cruiserwight Championship and Chuck and Johnny getting the WWE Tag Team
Championship

For crying out loud – spell check. And Jobbers don’t Matter – we got
Tough Enough

Have both the RAW and SmackDown brands each have a World Heavyweight
Champion, World Tag Team Champions, a World Women’s Champion and a World
Crusierweight Champion. That would be a TRUE brand split.

I think everything is covered except for the Women’s Belt – we don’t need
that. I’m sure I’ll get around to the devaluation of the belts in a minute…

Have Stevie Richards compete as a cruiserweight. He may be 6’2" but he
only weighs a legit 200 lbs.

Fuck Stevie Richards. He has been useless his whole career and ain’t never going to be someone. All
improper grammar aside….no one cares about him
and no one ever will. Cept for 246 people in the ECW Arena – and they don’t even go to Ring Of
Honor these days.

Have Booker T beat JBL for the WWE Championship, then turn heel again,
rekindle his feud with RVD and have the two of them trade the WWE strap for
six months, with the belt changing every time they meet on pay-per-view. These
two are the only WWE wrestlers who deserve a World title but have not been
handed the ball yet.

Probably Cause they both suck. RVD was protected by Paul E. and Booker was
made famous by Benoit. IIRC (hawr), both men had a heavy push via commercials
and public appearances, back when wrestling was "in" (Slurpee and
Hungry Man, respectively). Of course, it’s someone else’s fault they didn’t not
get "over"….blame HHH. Who cares. The point is neither have had
a good match without a genius carrying them (Book = Benoit / RVD + Jerry
Lynn)…so – do the math. Give them the ball and both will drop it, with the
added Flea amusement of having people piss and moan when it happens.

Shuffle the Victory Road pay-per-view card ASAP!

I would pay $30 to see Jeff Hardy leap off of a ladder into an exploding
wrestling ring full of flaming broken glass but not to see him wrestle anybody
in a wrestling ring.

That’s mean. But I’m sure that one was thrown in there to make cut
and pasters like me seethe – ha ah ha ha hawr. Sue me, WOP ("I can
badmouth Italians, I AM ITALIAN"…Joey said that once upon a time)

As I suggested in an earlier column, TNA should book a one night tournament
to determine a number one contender who will get a shot at Jeff Jarrett and
the NWA World Title at the end of the pay-per-view. You must be a former WWE,
WCW or ECW World Heavyweight Champion to enter the tournament with the
exception of one wild card.

Participants:

Former WCW Champion, Diamond Dallas Page

Wildcard, Monte Brown

Former WCW and WWE Champion, Kevin Nash (Scott Hall in his corner)

Former ECW Champion, Raven

Round One: Monte Brown over DDP clean with the Pounce. DDP rasies Brown’s
hand

Round One: Kevin Nash over Raven when Scott Hall interferes. Shane Douglas
hits the ring, attacks Scott Hall and they brawl all over the building, into
the parking lot and all over the theme park for the remainder of the entire
pay-per-view culminating with both men collapsing exhausted and bloodied in
the ring before the main event right before the final video package.

Finals: Monte Brown over Kevin Nash clean with The Pounce. Nash raises
Brown’s hand.

Title Match: Monte Brown over Jeff Jarrett clean for the NWA World Title
with The Pounce while the entire NWA locker room watches. Post match, faces
carry Monte Brown on their shoulders as PPV fades to black.

Anybody want to hire a booker 🙂

Joey Styles

Same as above – he did that to get me (and people that get stuck for
news) to raise hell, but I would rather eat my shoe, medium rare, than hire
someone like Styles to book. Joey was great in ECW – but for

whatever reason….bullshit – we know why…he…yeah. I like this. I’ll point
/ counter point Joey’s weekend column until I get the subpoena and then I’ll call Scherer as a
witness. Trust me – he has more of a grudge than I do…I’m just typing and…
drunk

ROLL THE DICE (Up to you to rename this section –
details on Page Six)

Also in the news is Diamond Dallas Page, for whatever reason. He is another
one that got buried due to grudges held by Vince and the WWE wrestlers, same as
Steiner and Goldberg. And rightly so. I never cared much for DDP, as he wasn’t
really a "wrestler"  – same as Savage…yes they could have good
/ great matches, but having to plot out the match details to the move always
irked me. Ricky Steamboat said it best, when asked about his…that reminds me.
In lieu of recapping a recent DDP interview ( he didn’t say much; DDP is trying
to get his name back out there for a possible run in TNA, etc. Hyatte mentioned
a while back that the prima donna has a lot of goddamn gall to charge a fortune
to book him, including limos, picking up an outrageous room service tab and then
only working with Sting, Kanyon and Scott Hall….of course, no one in their
right mind is going to do that – he is DDP after all.) Looks like he is angling
to get into TNA. Fine by me – he says he won’t be at the Victory Road PPV, which
is also fine by me…the only reason I’m going is to viciously heckle that
ignorant cocksucker Piper. Just to let you know – I’ll be there with a couple of
friends…not sure about the seating, but the Universal Studios thee-8-ter
(Hyatte 1) only holds about 1,000. You are going to hear us, and it’s a very
strong possibility that we will be asked to leave. I don’t care – the whole
package with the meet and greet is $50 per person….well worth it to have Piper
at my beck and call when I get mean and cruel. And I can be – when I’m on a
mission.

Enough about DDP – I was reminded of something a few words ago – Ricky
Steamboat did a "Shoot Interview" about a year ago – a really good
interview, for the most part, showing me a side of one of my favorite performers
that I knew was there, but never expected to hear it.  

here is a recap…originally published at 1ryderfakin.com

FROM THE FLEA’S BAG

SHOOT INTERVIEW – RICKY STEAMBOAT

The First Question is always "How did you get started in the wrestling
business?"

Steamboat was a college student in Florida studying to be a phys ed teacher,
about to graduate / transfer to another school and found out the wait to become
a teacher was too long – due to the fact the Northern Coaches would retire to
Florida.    

His girlfriend was Verne Gagne’s daughter’s college roommate. Through girlie
conversation, Dragon’s old lady put him over as being a "good high school
wrestler", which made Verne cream his pants, especially when he found out
Steamboat’s name: RICHARD BLOOD. It seems that Dragon was in High School with
Mike Graham (Eddie Graham’s son) and both were involved in High School wrestling
together (natch, Steamobat did the j.o.b. even back then – to MIKE GRAHAM! ha ha
ha)…

So Verne knew of Steamboat through Eddie Graham, and when Dragon found out
about a tryout opportunity, he was all "hell with this teacher crap"
and went north to wrestling training school.

An early influence during his training camp days was, of all people, The Iron
Sheik! who allegedly said Steamboat was "his best pupil" – but
Dragons’s competition was…

  • Some Dude That I Never Heard Of Who Died of A Brain Tumor
  • Some Dude The I Never Heard Of  Who Died At A Rolling Stones Concert
    with "a needle is his arm"

  • Buck Zumhoff

From Training Camp, Dragon worked a little around the AWA territory and was
then sent to Florida. After only a week! there, Jim Barnett liked the fact that
he was "green and young" and offered him a position in Georgia
Championship Wrestling. Dragon declined. Barnett stalked the young Ricky and
eventually convinced him to come (to his promotion), where Dragon came (in) to
work with Dick (Slater). For some reason they are tip-toeing around a certain
rumor about Barnett and I’m not sure why…

Dragon put Slater over and didn’t mind…but only because Slater was a vet
and Dragon was still green. Seems the work days back then were Monday through
Saturdays with Sundays off, which allowed Dragon to develop rapidly,
incorporating his trademark "karate " into his in ring style.

After about six months, Ric Flair approached Crockett about working with
Steamboat, which begat probably the greatest feud in the business. Steamboat
thinks Flair is still brilliant but points out the Flair Flip just ain’t what it
used to be. He thinks Rick has mellowed with age and feels really proud about
their chemistry, which he attributes to them being like Apples and Oranges.
Quiet vs. Brash. Opposites Attract. Long story short, Dragon owes everything to
Flair. "The major influence of my wrestling career".

Dragon developed a reputation of being someone who liked to work "long
matches" (35-40 minutes) and would almost guarantee "his opponent
having a good match". 20 minutes, it seems was "just getting warmed
up"…which means whoever was "working a program" with the Dragon
"better be in shape".

The name Roddy Piper comes up, who Dragon calls "someone, who, 
(and if) he happens to be your friend, would do anything in the world for
you" and gives a few examples. He also says he (Piper) would go toe to toe
with ANYONE including Andre the Giant. "Being a lunatic will make you do
things like that" is the general consensus of everyone is the room.

Dragon moves along to Jim Crockett, with a in depth look at nepotism, which
of course, brings up Vince McMahon "Two sons in their father’s
business"…seems as though Crockett was a sucker who would fall for
anything and just "couldn’t keep up with the Jones".

Dragon started working with Harley Race during his trips to Japan. A
"Tough Guy" who was also "deceptively strong" despite no
real training regimen. Harley would pick Dragon up like a rag doll and put the
ole "fear of Harley" into him. But they got along great – Harley =
another major influence.

Dragon developed a friendship with Jay Youngblood and they went into business
as a tag team, but many people wanted to keep Steamboat a singles competitor. A
compromise was reached and Dragon / Youngblood got over HUGE due to great
matches. As a matter of fact, he puts his matches with Youngblood vs. The
Briscoes and Slaughter / Kernodle right up there with the WM III match and the
Flair series.

You know what I just realized? If I had this f*cking tape, RF would have
interspersed some of these matches into the video. That is going to bother me
the rest of this interview. Fucking Scherer.

"Ole was a real, real hard nose" His way or NO WAY!" But
Dragon got along with him.

Talking about Japan, Steamboat loved it and was proud that EVERYONE was happy
that they would get paired with Dragon, as opposed to some crazy, stiff Jap.
Dragon says the travel was brutal, but in the long run, very enjoyable.

Jack and Gerry Brisco – a couple of beer drunks. One time, Gerry drove the
car out of gas on the Interstate. Jack, at the time, was sleeping and was none
to happy about being disturbed, so Gerry hoofed it up to the next exit and
picked up some gas. When he returned, the car was locked and Jack was in
Dreamland. Gerry tried his best to wake him up banging on the car and this story
has no ending…

Tully Blanchard! (I remember him! Do YOU?) – "chip on his
shoulder". Dragon attributes this to Tully’s daddy owning a promotion,
which was good as a gimmick, but it was not all that nice when you had to deal
with him in real life. "Slap the shit out of him" was what Dragon
wanted to do, but didn’t. I guess.

Back to Flair and boy howdy did they do it right. When they traveled into the
Northeast for shows they knew they would have to compete with some very good
"Northern Wrestlers" (Bruno, Pedro, Kowalski, etc) and he and Flair
decided to blow the roof of the joint with some ***** action. And they did, just
to prove a point.

Dragon didn’t care for Dusty getting the book, as Dusty booked himself as the
"Number One Babyface" which didn’t sit well, seeing as Dragon thought
his work (especially with Tully) earned him that spot, but Dusty would never
book him to win clean. Specifically, Steamboat is working a program for the TV
title with Tully, culminating in a classic match in Greensboro, which Dragon
won, but Tully kept the belt, due to the Dusty stips (revolving around the time
limit)…then low and behold Dusty comes in and beats Tully ONE TWO THREE in
about 12 minutes. "Writing on the wall" says Dragon and time to move
along…

Steamboat entered the WWF and the difference was like night and day. Instead
of driving, it was flying, which was not all it was cracked up to be – it seems
Ricky likes to stop at "Gas Stations and Truck Stops" opposed to being
"cooped up" not to mention the "time zones, jet lag", when
traveling by air. It was all "pretty much the shits".

Vince McMahon – "very likeable guy". Innovator. Dragon wasn’t crazy
about Vince’s vision of wrestling domination, due to being from "the old
school", but learned to live with it.

Many guys were not happy with his desire to go 40-50 minutes, specifically
when they would have to follow him, waiting around, etc. This was never
"said", just implied. Steamboat didn’t care, he’s an artist.

Don Muraco – Dragon couldn’t believe Muraco could keep up with him for 30-35
minutes, seeing as Muraco and Mr. Fuji were a couple of drunks who would party
all night. But Muraco was "always there for him" in the ring, and
Steamboat was proud of the program / angle.

Now we’re cooking with gas – "How would you compare Flair and
Savage?"

Steamboat goes into a very long discussion recapping the work with the both
of them – full shoot mode…

Savage – "very detailed", "like everything lined up",
especially if he considered you "on his level" (i.e. he would not put
in the same effort with a jobber). Both Savage and Dragon decided to "steal
the show" and WM III, and knowing they couldn’t top the epic Andre / Hogan
for the "angle" but damned if they weren’t going to show that the Top
of the Card was "two boring stiffs" and damned if they didn’t.

However, Steamboat was bummed about Savage’s detailed oriented approach to
the match, which consisted of "every step of the match being listed into a
big spiral notebook – Step One = Lockup, Step Two=Headlock". This drove
Dragon apeshit nuts, especially when they played QUIZ TIME, where they would
start at "Step 198?! What’s next Randy?" "Step 264?!? What’s Next
Dragon"…which, of course did lead to a classic match, false finishes and
all.

Flair – in their 1989 classic 2 out of 3 falls match, the only details he and
Flair knew was the finish to the three falls – that was it. In an hour match.

The Dragon says this:

"16 minute match – 287 steps" vs. an Hour Match – 3 steps"

"Which do you think is the more professional?"

And that right there is the greatest segment of any interview I have ever
listened to or read. It totally blew me away, as I have never heard (or heard
of) Steamboat badmouthing anyone and in reality, he didn’t get vicious – he
simply made a point.

Steamboat moves along to the brutal travel schedule of WWF and admits
"dabbling" with speed, but never had a drug problem, unlike some
people in the business. "Sign of the Times".

Honky Tonk Man – nice guy, but Dragon was shocked (along with everyone else)
when he dropped the IC Belt to HTM. Seems Steamboat wanted a couple of weeks off
for his son being born (two weeks – which didn’t seem like a long time) but
Vince had his own plan in mind. HTM = "Hokey" ….Dragon
"understands gimmicks", but he doesn’t understand "why HTM got
the belt above many other workers", who were none too happy about being
passed over by a lousy Elvis Impersonator. More than anything, Steamboat was
disappointed, especially after coming off of the brilliant WM III match then WAM!
Two months later, he’s doing the j.o.b. to the H.T.M.

Vince McMahon is very persuasive, it seems. Guys would go in to Vince’s
office all pissed about an assigned gimmick, an angle or a j.o.b. – and like
what happens with all semi-competent cult leaders, after talking with Vince for
a few minutes, said wrestler would come out "Smiling and doing whatever
Vince said". Dragon never named names, but think back to late 80’s WWF and
I’m sure you can come up with more than a few suspects.

Jake Roberts – like everyone else, Dragon describes the worthless piece of
shit as having "Brilliant psychology in the ring  but demons outside,
etc". Always the same with that guy.

Back to HTM, after learning he was dropping the strap, Steamboat took 6
months off. Next thing you know, it’s WM IV and wouldn’t you know it? HA HA HA
HA! It’s funny hearing Steamboat describe looking at the chart (WM IV World
Title Tournament), thinking he has a plan and then finding out the he’s doing
the job to Greg Valentine in the first round! Also, looking around the arena, he
saw no, none, NADA "Rick Steamboat merchandise" so he knew, once
again, the writing was on the wall. Next thing you know he’s turfed from WWF and
heads south. It’s 1989, Dragon has something to prove and the three classics
with Ric Flair ensue. See, the thing is Dragon always "knew his role"
and did not have a huge problem with being the "3rd or 4th
"babyface" in a promotion, he just wanted to be able to do his thing –
which was have the best match on the card, every night.

This segues into a great story about how Savage and Steamboat are having a
house show match, minding their own business, when they find out that they have
to keep the match going until Orndorff and Hogan show up (by private jet)… a
20 minute match turns into a 52 minute classic, culminating in both wrestlers
collapsing on the locker room floor, gasping for air and son of a bitch another
story that has no ending.

Terry Funk – stiff, stiff and STIFF! But would take it as hard as he dished
it out. Dragon makes fun of his goofy selling style (think Fred Sanford throwing
punches in the air) but said it was always a joy to work with him

Luger – "like working with a steel pole" Steamboat basically had to
walk him though the matches, including telling him, point blank, "go be a
heel to the crowd". Luger loves him for all his help.

Sting – "cordial". Doesn’t really know him.

Around 1991, Dragon returns to the WWF and is saddled with the "fire
breathing dragon" gimmick, which Steamboat attributes to Vince’s sick
fascination with "costumes". It was only supposed to be for "big
shows" (PPV) but, as mentioned earlier, Vince has a way of
"convincing" people and next thing you know, he’s doing the gimmick at
every house show.

The guy that taught Steamboat to blow fire was some Carny freak, which, the
first time demonstrating, lit his OWN FACE on fire. Steamboat had reservations,
but was convinced that it was literally a freak accident and he’ll have no
trouble. Meanwhile, the Carny freak is running around the parking lot ON FIRE,
but also manages to pull himself together enough to tell Dragon how safe it is.
So that’s how you create a cartoon gimmick.

He thought that he and Vince were cool when he initially came back as Vince
promised him the "main event" in about 3 months. TEN months later,
Dragon is still jerking the curtain and Steamboat decides to turn in his notice.
It seems that Vince sold him a lousy bill of goods, saying "how much things
have changed" since the 80’s, but Steamboat considered it "the
same".

HBK – "didn’t know him well"…was surprised that HBK could be at
the top of the promotion, but Shawn proved himself due to the quality of his
matches.

Rick Rude – "looked out for Numero Uno, which was himself." (Do me
a favor and read that quote again….that looks f*cked up in print, doesn’t it?)
Steamboat didn’t really have a problem with it as he understood the score.

Rumor has it that Steamboat left the WWF because he "didn’t want to do
the job to the Undertaker". It seems that the plan was for Steamboat to do
a "stretcher job" for both I.R.S. (Mike Rotundo) and the
Undertaker…the problem? – it was two different TV Tapings but ON THE SAME
ARENA SHOW! Steamboat saw doing two stretcher jobs, within an hour,  IN
FRONT OF THE SAME CROWD just might "expose the business". Well, no
shit. He attempted to convey this to Vince, but McMahon pretty much said
"do it or hit the road". So Steamboat is gone.

Barry Windham and Arn Anderson – Dragon LOVES Arn. Loves him. Great. Fun.
Great. Great Mind. Dragon says nothing about Barry.

Cactus Jack – another great guy.

The main theme with Steamboat is everyone loves to work with him, so he never
really had a problem with anyone.

Shane Douglas – he can’t remember how they got together, but once they did,
the chemistry worked. Shane was in awe of Dragon and would study his matches
while standing on the apron waiting for the tag. Still remains friends with him
to this day, and is on Steamboat’s short list of real friends (Arn, Nikita
Koloff, Flair).

Hollywood Blondes (Austin and Pillman) – great workers, which made their tag
series (vs. Steamboat / Douglas) a pleasure. Tells a story of a blizzard
clearing out a packed arena and working a 40 minute tag match in front of
(literally) 12 people! Seems as though they lived across the street from the
arena. "We had the time of our lives out there"

Vader – "you thought Funk was stiff?"…But Vader had a heart of
gold. His problem was he was so intense, he would beat he shit out of you.
"CALM DOWN PLEASE!!!" the Dragon would say, but it was like "Jekyll
and Hyde"  

Steamboat (and pretty much everyone else) was surprised when he was
"terminated", due to the fact there were people who were half as nice
(as half as good a worker) had guaranteed contracts and he got the shaft. Such
is life…."nature of the business"

Not missing a beat, he relays the story
of how may of these other "high paid jobbers" would thank him for
making them look so good…but they weren’t offering to pay his rent, wink wink.

One more Match? – He could but not up
to the standards of the old Dragon. But if he had to, he would and would do it
with Flair…and everyone would be "amazed that they would work an
hour".

Teddy Long’s name comes up for some
reason. HA! It’s because Teddy’s the only one in the business that calls him on
Christmas Day! I’m not
sure if that is beautifully touching or pitifully
sad. It’s because Steamboat was instrumental in him moving from Manager to ref,
therefore staying gainfully employed.

Today’s Business – "they will not be able to experience they beauty of
the art" when they have to work "seven minute tv matches".
P.S.Y.C.H.O.L.O.G.Y!. I really enjoy hearing someone like Steamboat describe his
craft as it seems to make 100% total sense. "You work 10 minutes on the
arm, you don’t go to the leg". It seems so easy when he describes it – but
Jesus are there some clusterf*ck matches out there. Mainly Cruiserweights.
Steamboat on Crusiers – "All their matches look the same".

David Flair – "Surprised to see him" especially as "Flair is
his father". "Can’t believe Flair would let his son be so green and
appear on tv".

The Rock – doesn’t know him, except for what he sees on TV

Austin – "glad he found success".

Who had potential but never made it (I love this question) – The Guerreros….say
what? Mumbles about Chavo and then confuses Hector and Eddie…they should have
ended this interview 20 minutes ago, Dragon is all over the place…

Back to talking about himself – he always wanted to be a heel. But Pat
Patterson explained to him that Steamboat could "cut Bret Hart’s head off
with a chainsaw" and people would still love him! Patterson has a point.
Steamboat points out no one else has gone an entire career without turning at
least once.

How does he rate himself on a scale of 1-10? "somewhere between an 8 and
9"

Bret Hart – "man of excellence" when it comes to working in the
ring.

Dragon was always proud that every time a promotion gave him the ball, he
took it and ran with it, in lieu of dropping it, continuing the perfect streak
of people in the wrestling business using that as an analogy.

Eric Bishcoff – doesn’t know him

In closing, Steamboat puts himself over as a man of the people who would
NEVER turn down an autograph or picture request – unlike some other people (no
names mentioned). He enjoys passing along his years and years of knowledge to
fans and workers alike. He makes sure to include a story about how he stayed an
extra hour for an autograph session and once again thanks the fans.

* * * *

What shocked me about this interview is that Steamboat knows exactly
how good he is (was) and is not afraid to say so
. Some could call that
ego (which I will – this was one of the most egotistical interviews I have ever
heard) or others could call it "self- confidence", which I will do as
well. I have no problem with ego, as long as it "gets backed up" as
they old saying goes. I just never expected to hear it from Steamboat.
Refreshing actually – especially after hearing RVD cry the blues.

Real quick – New Jack got busted in Jacksonville after an independent show
for "assault". Long story short, he was working a hardcore match with
a local wrestler and got carried away – stabbed the poor bastard with a sharp
object FOURTEEN TIMES, which was determined to go above and beyond "a
wrestling match." Hence – he is locked up. As I said above, I wouldn’t mind
going and bailing him out to the tune of FIVE GRAND, but I have serious doubts
that I would ever recover the bond money – to say he is a "flight
risk" is putting it mildly and another concern (my main one) is the lack of
gratitude that would be shown and my reaction to it. The only thing that pisses
me off anymore is someone not grateful for the help that I provide, to the point
where it affects me financially, which is no big deal…but I have busted my
balls to get in a position in life where…no sense in getting worked up about
this. I know the reasons why I won’t, and unfortunately for New Jack the bad, in
this situation, is outweighing the good. The funniest part of all of this is, in
a effort to raise the five g’s, New Jack and his people are AUCTIONING OFF a
Collect Phone Call, straight from jail, from New Jack – have you ever had to
accept one of those "Hey I’m in jail, accept the phone charges!"
calls? They run about $5 a minute and…well it would be cheaper just to bond
the guy out. Good luck to him – he has (at least) four justifiable homicides to
his credit, so beating this one should not be a big deal. I would have him on
the payroll in a second, but I have a feeling in my gut that it wouldn’t work
out – probably best not to get involved. I have about 3 weeks to decide. If
anyone involved wants to work some kind of deal, I can be reached at ryderfakin@yahoo.com.
But the terms will be mine. 

PAGE SIX

Okay Ladies and Germs – as mentioned above, I would like anyone who is
interested to provide a title to the section formerly known as "ROLL THE
DICE". Be creative, send whatever you come up with to ryderfakin@yahoo.com.
Whoever comes up with the one I use will get a copy of Netcop’s latest book
"WRESTLING’S ONE RING CIRCUS – the Death of the World Wrestling
Federation". Autographed by me, of course. Good book, and…how do you turn
down something free? All you have to do is play, I’ll make the final decision
two weeks from now. Good luck. 

Also, don’t forget the WRESTLING
DEAD POOL
. Dynamite is on my list, and based on the recent news about
his failing health, the betting on him is now officially closed. But you have
many, many more to choose from – tis the season for the "hard living
wrestlers" to start dropping like flies. 

Thanks for reading!

FLEA – ryderfakin@yahoo.com / 1ryderfakin.com