Terminal Velocity- The WWE Velocity Report 10.23.04

Right off the bat, I have to apologize for the lack of a report last week, as my cable went out and I missed the show. Screw Comcast, alright? The dirty bastards. That’s about the 6th time this year my cable has gone out without ANY REASON.

In other rant-worthy news, the Boston Red Sox are the AL Champs and are in the World Series. Oh yeah. And as I begin to type out this report, they just one Game 1. Go Red Sox!

WWE Velocity- October 23rd, 2004

-We start out with the obligatory opening vid and pyro. Josh notes that Kurt Angle and Hardcore Holly will lock up tonight, and Big Show’ll be in da house. All 3 Dudleyz make their entrance, ready for action, with Spike wearing shit-colored pants. Nice. They’re followed by the FBI and their partner for the night, Funaki.

-The Dudley Boyz vs. the FBI and Funaki. Nunzio and Spike to start things off, but it turns out to be the ol’ Dudley fakeout as as D-Von runs in and cheap shots Nunzio to take an early control of the match. Shots by D-Von, but Nunzio gets a small package for 2, stomps on D-Von’s face, and gets a dropkick for 2. Arm wrench, tag to Johnny the Bull, but D-Von takes control. Bull with a flying shoulderblock, but D-Von pokes the eye and tags in Bubba. Brief exchanges in momentum here; Bull takes control, and arm wrenches and tags in Funaki, who attempts a sunset flip but Bubba doesn’t go down. Bubba tries an ass-splash but gets nothing but canvas and Funaki dropkicks him in the face. Funaki gets sent into the Dudley corner, bur fights out and gets a schoolboy on Bubba for 2. Naki kicks D-Von, who’s on the outside of the ring, but turns around and walks into a hard clothesline by Bubba. D-Von gets some offense in on Funaki on the outside of the ring. Back in, Spike is tagged in. Spike gets in his trademark Multiple Corner Stomps, followed by a choke by Bubba and a jumping knee to the face by Spike. Tag to D-Von, who locks on a neck vice. Foo tries to fight out, but runs into a powerslam for a 2 count. Tag to Spike, who puts a sleeper on Funaki. Funaki tries to fight out, but Spike halts it. Funaki whips Spike hard into the corner, both men down. Back up, Spike gets knocked back down with an Enziguri, and Funaki tags in Bull, who proceeds to absolutely clean house, in which a repeated spot from 2 weeks ago is used. Spinebuster on Spike gets 2 as all 6 men proceed to go at it. The FBI get the Wazzzup on Spike, with Funaki playing the part of D-Von. Dudleyz gets sandwiched into the corner, and Bubba and D-Von gent sent to the outside, where Funaki comes down on them with a huge cross body. Spike goes for the Dudley Dog on Johnny, but Spike reverses it into a backbreaker, the set-up position for the Kiss of Death. Nunzio goes up top and comes down with the big leg, and Bull goes for the pin. Ref’s distracted though, and Bubba sneaks in and drops an elbow on Bull’s head. Spike rolls over and gets the three count for his team to win the match. Decent little contest, **1/2 on the Velocity Scale.

-We are reminded that later tonight, Kurt Angle and Hardcore Holly will go a it.

-Also tonight, Big Show will be in action against an as-of-yet-to-be-named opponent.

-Back here on Velocity, we get a recap of this past week’s Tough Enough. God, that long-haired blonde guy annoys me. Gotta appreciate the dude that worked through that obstacle course even with his injury. Who do I pick to win this? The Miz, of course.

-Josh reminds us again that Hardcore Holly and Angle will go one-on-one.

-But up next, we have Big Show in action.

-Survivor Series promo.

-DOR ad.

-And now, the WWE Rewind: Chavo’s return to SmackDown.

-Big Show makes his entrance, leading us to:

-Big Show vs. Akio. Dropkick attempts by Akio get swatted away, and a right hand has no effect. Nasty chop by Big Show and a hiptoss. A clothesline sends Akio to the outside, but Show tosses him back in. Body press slam by Show, who signals for the end. Huge chokeslam finishes this match in, like, under a minute and a half. *3/4 on the Velocity scale, it’s be a DUD on any other scale. Big Show Steve Austin then leaves. OK then. No real point to this match.

-Once again, Holly then reminds us about the Holly/Angle match.

-Eddie DVD ad.

-Recap of the SmackDown Down n’ Dirty tour. Nothing of note here, except for the comments of people you can barely understand.

-Back on Velocity, we get a recap of the Booker situation from SmackDown; of course, Booker turns face by turning on and pinning JBL.

-Bill tells us that Holly and Angle are up next.

-And now, the WWE Slam of the Week: Carlito spitting in Torrie’s face. That’s no really a slam, guys.

-Here we go now, finally, as Angle makes his entrance.

-Hardcore Holly vs. Kurt Angle. Lockup, little exchange here as the men reverse some amateur holds. Break, and a standoff. Lockup, headlock takedown by Kurt. Side headlock by Kurt, Holly whips Angle into the ropes, gets shoulderblocked, but comes back with an armdrag on Angle. Standoff, lockup, side headlock by Holly. Holly whipped to the ropes, big shoulderblock. Holly reverses a hiptoss, and gets 2 armdrags. Angle comes back, but gets whipped over the top rope to the outside as we take an abrupt commercial break.

-Back here on Velocity, Holly’s still in control, hitting chest shops onto Angle. Angle reverses a whip to the corner, and is able to get a German suplex. He tries for another, but Holly reverses the go-behind, but Angle runs into the ref, distracting him, enabling Kurt to land a low blow. Angle now in control, and he gets a ribbreaker for 2. Angle hangs Holly up on the ropes for 2, and then locks on a behind-the-back bearhug. Holly fights out with some back elbows but runs into an overhead belly-to-belly. Angle administers a camel clutch varient. Nice to see Josh and Bill actually acknowledge Angle and Hardcore’s history. Holly starts to get back to his feet and he manages to fight out. Both men trade some shots here; Holly starts to take the upper hand, but both men are shoulderblocked to the ground. Both men down now. Back up, Holly takes control and hits his big dropkick for a 2. Holly whipped to the corner, Angle runs into a boot. Holly with a rollup for 2, but Angle reverses out. Holly goes for the Alabamaslam, but Kurt holds onto the top rope, leaving him in prime position for Holly’s little midsection kick thingy. Holly connects with a seated reverse DDT for 2, followed by a top rope flying clothesline for another close 2. Holly walks rights into another belly-to-belly, and gets hit with the Angle Slam. Angle goes for the pin but only gets 2! Angle pulls down the straps now, as he’s had enough, dammit. He locks on the Ankle Lock. Holly finally manages to break out of it, and Angle walks into an Alabama Slam, but reverses THAT into his Leg-Grapevine version of the Ankle Lock. This is finally enough to make Holly tap, giving Angle the hard-fought win. Great match for Velocity, **** of the Velocity scale.

-Josh tells us that this week’s SmackDown is going to be off the chain. Oh, it better be.

My Thoughts: Good show this week. Good opener, great main event. The Angle match alone made this worth viewing. If Velocity keeps on getting better and better like this, then damn, count me in.