Well, I still don’t know what went wrong last weekend. My column was posted
last Saturday night, was up for about 2 hours, and then vanished completely.
So, I resubmitted it, where it was quickly knocked off the main page by all
the new columns. As a result, I’m not entirely sure more than 5 people read
it. Here’s the link,
as I would appreciate any readers I could get. Drop me an e-mail or IM and let
me know what you thought. Now then, on with this week’s column, wherein I will
discuss Taboo Tuesday, Smackdown, and whatever else comes to mind. Enjoy!
News
It was an incredibly slow news week, so this won’t be a long section.
Story
The Minnesota Star-Tribune reports that Mean Gene Okerlund, 61, underwent a
second kidney transplant three weeks ago, getting the kidney from a distant
relative. His son Todd was quoted as saying "So far, so good." We
at InsidePulse.com wish Okerlund a speedy recovery, and have him in our thoughts
and prayers.
credit: startribune.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
Yes we do.
Story
The paper also has an article up on former wrestler and MN Governor Jesse "The
Body" Ventura, who has changed his mind from saying he had "no one"
to vote for, to an endorsement of John Kerry for president.
credit: startribune.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
Another one for the good guys!
Story
Ric Flair’s direction is being debated by WWE, with both babyface and heel ideas
being thrown around.
credit: wrestlingobserver.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
Well, they had better hurry up! Personally, I hope they make him a babyface,
because the fans have been DYING to cheer for him for a looooooooooooong time.
Story
Dr. Death Steve Williams is back in the hospital for further surgery to treat
throat cancer. Williams underwent a laryngectomy (removal of the voice box)
earlier this month.
This time the doctors will be taking a piece of skin from Williams’s leg and
use it to patch a hole in his throat. The procedure takes approximately 10 hours,
and Williams will be out for approximately 24 hours.
The surgery is being done in hopes that Williams will eventually be able to
speak again.
Williams appreciates all of the support he has received from the WWE fans and
asks for their continued support and prayers in this time of need.
credit: wwe.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
Best wishes to Dr. Death.
Story
New VP of Talent Relations John Laurenaitis (Johnny Ace) has made it policy
that anyone who enters the ring for a match must wear wrestling boots. There
are some backstage that feel he has been making mistakes that Jim Ross didn’t
make when in that role, including calling out one wrestler publicly for being
fined.
credit: pwtorch.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
On the one hand, this should cut down on ankle injuries and the like. On the
other hand, it’s not going to fit with certain people’s characters, like John
Cena.
The Adventure of Links
Read Eric once
then twice;
it’s required.
Check out The
Mean. I’ve been enjoying it, and you should be too.
Flea.
Over in the Nexus, read Mathan
and Jim.
Great stuff, every week…just like I said LAST week.
A "rant" of my own
Okay, I used to be a big fan of Scott Keith’s, but for the past
year or so, he’s just pissed me off. When he decided to boycott Smackdown, it
struck me as a bunch of jackassery, pure and simple. Sure, the product wasn’t
great, but it wasn’t as terrible as he made it seem either. However, I was glad
he wasn’t going to write about it anymore, because his negativity was a real
drag, and there were (and are) people who actually enjoyed the show who were
willing to review it.
All was well and and good, until Keith decided to submit his
review of No Mercy. I decided to give it a read, to see how somebody who doesn’t
even watch Smackdown judges their PPV. It was just as I expected: Keith ripped
everything to shreds because the angles didn’t make sense to him. Well, newsflash:
IF YOU WATCH THE FUCKING SHOW, IT REALLY HELPS!! If I watched an episode of
Friends that Scott Keith said was excellent, I wouldn’t say it didn’t make any
sense and that it sucked…because I actually understand that because I don’t
watch Friends, I don’t know what’s been happening. The sad thing is, there are
still scores of people that take Keith’s word as the Word of God. "Oh,
I liked the PPV, until I read Keith’s rant. Now I can see that it actually sucked."
Just sad.
Another sad aspect of this is that Keith actually liked the
matches, with the exception of the main event, and that’s just his hatred of
the Undertaker and Bradshaw coming out. Is he going to actually start watching
Smackdown, since he was *gasp* entertained by the matches? Signs point to "no,"
because then he would look stupid for boycotting it in the first place. What
a douchebag.
Of course, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Taboo Tuesday
Taboo Tuesday was a fun, if unspectacular event. I enjoyed it for what it was
worth, but as I said with No Mercy, I can’t justify the cost of the PPV. Also,
we’re just going to ignore my predictions from the Roundtable, as I got just
about everything wrong, though I guess that’s expected with a PPV of this nature.
That said, on to the matches.
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Shelton Benjamin – WWE Intercontinental Title – fans
choose the challenger
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Shelton Benjamin
This was a decent little match, but it took awhile to really get going. The
fans were really into Shelton, though, so that’s a good sign. Now we’ll find
out if Shelton gets to run with it, or if he is just transitioning it to Batista.
Trish Stratus (c) vs. Molly Holly vs. Gail Kim vs. Stacy Keibler vs. Nidia
vs. Victoria vs. Jazz – WWE Women’s Title – fans choose the outfits
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Trish; schoolgirl outfits
Dammit! I really wanted the French maid outfits! Hehe…anyway, this match accomplished
what it set out to, and that is provide some T&A. Nothing notable about
the match itself. However, I thought it was a nice touch that each of the ladies
got to wear a "personalized" version of the schoolgirl outfit. Molly’s
"principal/librarian" outfit was classic. :-)
Kane vs. Gene Snitsky – fans choose the weapon
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Gene Snitsky; chain
This was actually a pretty good brawl, in my opinion. The ending, however, really
pissed me off. What is the point of having the fans choose the chain, and then
having the finish involve the steel chair, which LOST THE VOTE?? At the onset
of the match, it was stressed that only one of these weapons would be legal,
but then Snitsky repeatedly used the steel chair IN FRONT OF THE REF and didn’t
get disqualified. That’s just stupid, lazy booking, in my view. Couldn’t they
have come up with a different finish involving the chain? Anyway, all that aside,
Snitsky came out of this looking like an unstoppable monster, which is good.
For once, I agreed with Lawler, too, when he said, "I don’t know what I
hate more: his name…Snitsky, or his face." Right on. Now, I think it
would be great if Snitsky started coming out in Kane’s old mask. That would
accomplish two things: first, it would keep the feud fresh in everyone’s mind
for when Kane returns in a few months. Second, it would make it so we don’t
have to look at Snitsky’s weird-ass face anymore. Yikes.
Eugene vs. Eric Bischoff – fans choose the stipulation for the loser
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Eugene; loser gets head shaved
Another quick little match that was fine for what it was. Everybody was brilliant
in their roles, and the interaction between Vince and Coach was fabulous. "Quit
being a slut and button up that dress!"
Chris Benoit and Edge vs. La Resistance (c) – WWE Tag Team Titles
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winners: Chris Benoit and (maybe) Edge
It should be cleared up on Raw whether or not Edge is part of the new Tag Team
Champions, and I don’t think he will be. I think it’ll be one of two scenarios:
either Benoit will get to choose a partner (probably Eugene), or Benoit will
defend the titles by himself. I hope it’s the latter, as I think that would
be awesome. Benoit will keep looking like a bad-ass, while they keep him out
of the World Title scene, in which they seem adamant about force-feeding us
Randy Orton.
Carmella vs. Christy – fans choose the type of match
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Christy; lingerie pillowfight
I’m torn on this match. Part of me thinks that it accomplished what it was supposed
to, which was provide more T&A. The other part of me thinks that the women’s
battle royal already accomplished that, and that two matches of that type are
not needed on an 8-match card. In fact, 3 of the 8 matches were "angle-enhancement"
matches, and I think that’s overkill for a PPV, where people pay their hard-earned
money to see THINGS HAPPEN.
Triple H (c) vs. Shawn Michaels – WWE World Heavyweight Title – fans choose
the challenger
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Triple H
Man, what terrible timing for an injury to HBK. This match probably would have
been excellent, like all their other encounters. Unfortunately, it was just
okay. Don’t get me wrong, it told an EXCELLENT story, and the two participants
did their damnedest to put on a good match, but all the hobbling around just
really ruined it for me. *shrug* Maybe it’s just me. Oh well.
Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton – fans choose the type of match
One Asshole’s Opinion
Winner: Randy Orton; steel cage
I thought this was a great match; it told a great story, had a solid pace, had
some good bumps and lots of blood, and had an important ending. That said, I
still hate Randy Orton. Still, this PPV is worth a look if only for this match.
Thumbs up.
Smackdown
Man, I just cannot catch a break. Yesterday (Saturday), my computer stopped
working, so I wasn’t able to finish downloading Smackdown (and writing my column)
until today (Sunday). When Smackdown finally finished, it only had audio, no
video, so no review. Jeez. One of these days, the planets will align again,
and I will actually have a Smackdown report.
Coming to a Cinema Near You
The revolt was falling apart, until one man arose to lead the people to victory.
That man was Bret Hart. He was so adept with his sharpshooting that his enemies
whispered of him as the "Excellence of Execution." The enemies plotted
revenge, which they took soon enough. The battle came to the fields of Montreal,
where Bret’s enemies were finally able to "ring the damn bell" on
their greatest foe, and the revolution.
Well, that’ll do it for this week. Keep the e-mails and IMs coming, and let
me know what you thought, along with any suggestions of things you’d like to
see here.
AIM = GoldenAce 007
