Rolling The Dice


I know all of you…ok like the 5 of you were wondering where this column was last week. Good question. The answer is I stupidly forgot to post it last week. Shame on me, because if you had followed my picks last week you would have gotten 249 points, one of the highest scores of the week. Blatt got 209. I trail him by like 20 points as we get down to the nitty gritty. Odds are this competition will be settled with Survivor Series. Anyways, a new game starts November 29th and I’ve already sent an email to the “commissioner” of the fantasy board asking them to take out the $2,750,000 price range because it just messes up the math and makes me do more work. Now here, for the five of you, are the week 6 picks.

Carlito Caribbean Cool $1,000,000
Chris Benoit $5,500,000
Gene Snitsky $1,000,000
Kenzo Suzuki $2,500,000
Rob Conway $2,750,000
Shelton Benjamin $2,750,000
Spike Dudley $3,500,000
Tyson Tomko $1,000,000

I think picked and unpicked Booker T three times, three times, three times this week. Would they give him another win following his pinning of JBL in the main event on Smackdown? My money’s on yes, because I think he’s heading towards a J.O.B. to J.B.L. at Survivor Series. However, I thought that spike Dudley was a better bet for a title defense based on the fact that he hasn’t been on Smackdown! for some time now. That’s just me though.

After last week, this week is kind of a lame week because of the lack of real previews on both shows AND the muddy title pictures in both shows. You’ll also notice that almost half of the $275,000 range people are out with “injuries”, except Matt Hardy, who has a real injury.

Hopes: NOT a Taboo Tuesday rematch in the case of Conway/Benoit, Spike retains his title, Snitsky goes buck wild with a weapon again, and that whatever match Carlito has this week is a title defense instead of a non-title match.

Can I also say that the interface in which to use the Fantasy game is very clunky and generally slow? Improving the interface and how this is done would be a lot easier to make my roster on a weekly basis.

Straight From The HevNation Headquarters:

Carlito Caribbean Cool $1,000,000
Chris Benoit $5,500,000
Edge $4,500,000
Gene Snitsky $1,000,000
Heidenreich $2,500,000
Shelton Benjamin $2,750,000
Sylvain Grenier $2,750,000

Honestly, I think this week will officially take away any dreams I had of winning this thing. Because I can’t even fathom what in the hell they will do this week. MY MONEY:

-Benoit/Edge being wacky “I hate you” “No, I hate you more” tag partners, but who knows. They may defend and if they do, it’ll have to be against La Resistance because the tag scene is a joke.

-Hence my choice of Sylvain Grenier. If the titles go up for grabs he’ll be in the ring. Whether he wins or not I’ll have to take my chances. I say Edge spears Benoit for the La Rez title win.

-Carlito is just the forgone conclusion choice for everyone. He has the U.S. Title and is getting pushed. And for $1,000,000, he cheaper and even more of a sure thing than Blatt’s girlfriend on a Sunday afternoon. (Hevia’s note: I have never met Blatt’s girlfriend. I am sure she is a nice person. However, since I am trailing in the game and have no other angles to use, I will liberally use her to gain a mental advantage over Blatt. The fact that she calls me Pookie also allows me room to work with.) (Hevia’s second note: I don’t know if she calls me pookie. I really don’t.)

-Snitsky is a choice of concern. What now? Kane is gone? Should he just run through people, killing them dead with chairs, or should he get involved with Lita, making her more of a whore than she has been the past few months? Could a return of Vee-Oneuhh! be in the cards? I honestly don’t care as long as the big idiot does something.

-Now for the “Ummmm…uh….” pick of the week: Heidenreich. Ummmm…uh…I don’t know but my gut tells me he’ll use a weapon on ‘Taker to start building for Survivor Series. But…ummm…uh…I have no friggin clue.

-Shelton Benjamin is a good pick because he’s Mr. IC Title holder now. We could be getting back to the days where the IC Title provided better matches than the World Title matches with Shelt as the champ.

What’s that? No HOT PICKS this week? Yea, that’s right bitches, no hot picks. Curious as to why? Because as Blatt and I chatted we realized something. At the beginning of this competition the staffers here at the pulse said to each other: “This should be interesting because we’ll get to see just how hard it will be to keep up with their crazy booking.” Well, we were right. You can’t have a hot pick when the only thing that is hot is your mouse because you keep clicking to buy and sell people. When a fantasy game gives you a headache it means two things: 1.Jenna Jameson is not involved and 2. You are trying to predict Brian Gerwitz and Stephanie McMahon Levesque Hemsley Ryzing. Which leads to this point: IT’S NOT POSSIBLE! So take our picks and use ’em, but don’t blame us when you cry and go to the bathroom on mommy’s dishes.

Also, to all you loyal readers, please be carefull due to the drought. Inside Pulse’s offices are right near the woods, we put up a sign:

Later bitches!