Riding Coattails: In Hog Heaven

Ami, Ami, Ami. I’m concerned for your safety. It seems that the minute Johnny put that immunity necklace on you a few weeks back, you boarded a ship, took a power trip, and have yet to disembark. This is the second week in a row that the irritable barista has dictated the vote for Yasur, and it appears that both ejections were based chiefly on comments from Bubba and Lisa that pissed her off. Bubba shot himself in the ass by trying to conspire with Chris before the immunity challenge and Lisa put her ass in the grass by insisting on joining (i.e. babysitting) Scout and Ami on a manioc hunt.

Speaking of asses, I found Ami’s comment to Rory very interesting: “No way my ass was voting for you.” If Ami continues to allow her ass to cast votes, she’s going to be in trouble. She needs to stop hogging the spotlight as well, since we never got to see any conversations with Leann and Eliza about their decision to vote for Lisa. One thing is quite clear, however. In Yasur, it’s possible to totally suck at the challenges and stay in the game. Just stay on Ami’s good side.

Rory has figured that out. I was so impressed with the way he handled himself this episode. At the beginning of the season, I didn’t like the guy at all, mainly because I thought he was a chauvinist piglet. He may very well be that, but he’s playing his cards beautifully with the women. First, he made them feel guilty for even considering voting him out, then he pledged to work hard for the team if he knew he had a chance of staying. And he found a “little tiny crack” in the female alliance. Normally, I would advise Rory and everyone else to just say no to crack, but in this case, it’s a wise choice. And there’s clearly more to Rory than I thought.

Over at Lopevi, things have definitely been more peaceful. I guess when the players get to eat Pringles and steak and skip tribal council, it’s easy to be happy. Of course, Julie and Twila are both worried about their position among the men, which is understandable. However, they’re both using their best assets quite effectively. I would even go as far as saying that Julie bought herself a ticket to the final four by nude sunbathing. Twila did her best to cuddle up to Sarge, but I think she should stick to bonding over beers as her main staying strategy.

The friendship that is emerging between Twila and Sarge is intriguing. It definitely works to Twila’s advantage to cozy up to the power center at Lopevi. Plus, they genuinely like each other. One thing about Sarge confuses me, however. Why does he talk like a surfer? He’s a drill sergeant from South Carolina for crying out loud, yet he uses the word “dude” about seventeen times an episode. And what gives with Rory’s phraseology? He’s from Iowa and yet he keeps saying “y’all” and using expressions like “a pig in a poke.”

I was also confused as to why the reward for the muddy pig-rasslin’ challenge was beef. Wouldn’t it be more logical to give the survivors pork after they chased after a bunch of hogs? Is someone in the game Jewish or Muslim or something?

No matter what denomination they subscribe to, it’s certain that some of the players need to do some serious praying to stay in the game. Eliza has always been on shaky ground with Yasur, mainly due to her flimsy biceps and big mouth, but so far, she has managed to align herself with the right people. Leann’s name has come up a few times, especially with regard to her lack of personality and now her sucky swimming ability, but she’s still alive. Scout is well-liked and respected as the tribe’s elder, but resentment is starting to grow with regard to her contributions, or lack thereof, to the more physical challenges.

Over at Lopevi, I’d say that young John’s days are numbered. With his pretty boy compatriots (Brook, Brady, J.P.) voted out early on, John K. finds himself swimming in a pond filled with older nice guys and two very shrewd females. He’s out of his element and although he handled his individual immunity and visit to Yasur very intelligently, I’m not sure that he can break into Chris, Sarge, and Chad’s core alliance. Not without growing a pair of breasts. Oh wait, he has those, they’re just the wrong kind. Maybe he needs to kill a pig a la Mike Skupin or pork Julie or something.

At the end of the day, it’s all about swine.