Re-Writing The Book: In The Mouth Of Madness, Part 2

Part 1 is here. Again, this story is from Joe Violet, submitter extraordinaire, and loyal friend to RTB. So, here we go … part 2 of …

What if Randy Savage beat The Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania VII?

Our story resumes shortly after SummerSlam, where Randy Savage retained his WWF World Title against Roddy Piper, thanks to some surprising assistance from the special referee, Sid Justice. But Elizabeth’s shocking post-match announcement of the coming of Ric Flair has set the entire federation, and the increasingly unstable Savage, on it’s collective ear …

September-November

There is no afterglow for Randy Savage in the wake of his defeat of Roddy Piper; there is only a hastening of his descent into paranoia and psychosis. Even the news that Piper would be laid up again, courtesy of the beating put on him by Savage’s bodyguard, Sid Justice, does nothing to alter Savage’s mood. In his first post-SummerSlam match, a non-title encounter with Marty Jannetty on Superstars, his fear becomes pervasive, and Jannetty has more then one near-fall against the World Champion. It takes Sid interfering on his behalf for Savage to escape with his dignity, and winning record, intact. But for Savage, the possibility of the loss is nothing compared with the specter he feels looming overhead, cast by his former manager, Elizabeth, and her proclamation of bringing Ric Flair to the WWF. Thoughts of such a ludicrous idea (never mind the fact that she shoved Flair’s belt in his face at SummerSlam) distract Savage; he constantly checks over his shoulder, looking for any sign of Elizabeth or Flair.

And with good reason; as soon as his match is finished, he spies Elizabeth standing by the entranceway, holding that belt over her shoulder, smiling.

Sean Mooney is dispatched to get the Macho Man’s thoughts on Elizabeth’s incredible statement shortly thereafter her appearance on Superstars, and gets much more then an earful. It is Sid, however, who does most of the talking, as Savage is too busy pacing and scanning the arena for signs of Flair. Sid cackles madly before issuing a statement, then seizes Mooney’s hands, and the microphone, in his. “Yo wanna know what we think of Elizabeth and what she says she’s gonna do? We don’t give it the time of day! She thinks she can rattle the Macho Man and Sid Justice with promises of bringing some hero … some no-name wannabe to the WWF?”

“But Sid, with all due respect,” Mooney says, “Ric Flair is no wannabe-“

Sid grabs Mooney by the lapels and picks him up off his feet. His spits his words out through clinched teeth, eyes as bright and big as spotlights. “Are you calling me a liar, little boy? Do you doubt the word of Sid Justice?” Mooney shakes his head so empathically, it looks like it might fly off his neck. Sid sets Mooney back down on his feet and smiles as if nothing happened. “As I was saying,” Sid continues, “all Elizabeth has is empty promises and some worthless piece of tin she picked up at a garage sale! She can talk all she wants about a real champion … Randy Macho Man Savage is the champion around here, Sean Mooney! Every challenger he’s had, he’s put down! What makes anyone think that Ric Flair can do what everyone else hasn’t been able to do?” Sid laughs again; he locks his eyes on Mooney’s, who looks like he’d much rather be on a crashing plane then stuck in the same breathing space as Sid. “What makes you think she’s anything more than a liar?”

“B-b-but she said-“

“She can say anything she wants, Sean Mooney! Didn’t you know, she’s the ‘First Lady Of Wrestling’? The WWF won’t stop her, cause they don’t wanna stop her! But she don’t have the power, or the money …” Sid looks out amongst the hostile crowd, a gleeful maliciousness in his eyes. “… and she certainly don’t have the brains to pull off the promises she’s throwing around!” Sid turns to the camera. “Little girl! You’re in way over your head! Get out-“

Savage cuts off Sid, redirecting Mooney’s microphone. His voice is a low growl, cold and predatory. “Elizabeth …” he spits, “you’d do yourself a favor to remember what I did to Sherri. She ain’t been seen since! You want that to happen to you?”

Were it not for Savage’s hand clamped around his, Mooney would recoil in horror. “Are you threatening Miss Elizabeth?”

Savage doesn’t spare Mooney even a sideways glance. “I’m warning the little slut: stay out of my business. Stay home, make cookies, clean the house, and stay out of my way!

The response from the WWF is immediate: a two-week suspension for Savage’s use of vulgar language. But the message is clear, and everyone from the announcers to Mean Gene Okerlund, and even a taped message from Roddy Piper in his hospital room, all tell Elizabeth the same thing: quit now, before you get hurt.

But Elizabeth doesn’t heed that message, and on Septembr 9th, appears on Prime Time Wrestling, with Ric Flair’s World Title belt in hand. Sean Mooney is alongside, but it is Elizabeth who does the announcing. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she says, beaming with pride, “at SummerSlam, I told the world, and promised to one man in particular, that I would bring a real champion to the World Wrestling Federation. Today, I am proud to show the world I was not boasting without cause. It is my pleasure to introduce to you”-the familiar music cues up under her words-“the Nature Boy, Ric Flair!”

For a few, heart-stopping moments, everyone holds their breath, waiting … and then, the curtains part, and through them walk a man dressed in a garish robe trimmed with fur. Flair gives the studio audience, who are all too stunned to do anything but clap politely, a “Whoo!” as he approaches center stage. He kisses Elizabeth on the cheek as Mooney starts talking. “Ladies and gentlemen, Ric Flair is in the building … and Mr. Flair, I gotta ask … what brought you to the World Wrestling Federation?”

“Ya know something, kid,” Flair says, “a couple months ago, I was sittin’ around the house, and I got a phone call. And this phone call was from a pretty little lady.” Flair chuckles and gives Mooney a nudge. “But then again, The Nature Boy is always getting’ calls from the ladies. But this lady wasn’t just any lady, no, no, no. This lady was the lady … The First Lady … whoo! … Of Professional Wrestling! And she says to me, ‘Ric, I need you to come to the WWF. I got me a problem, and it’s a problem only The Nature Boy can handle!’ And we talked about it, and I told her if the money was right, she could get herself a real Worlds Champion. And, brother, lemme tell ya, the offer was sweet, but when she told me about her problems, I told this one is on the house, sister.”

“Are you talking about Macho Man Randy Savage?” Mooney asks.

Flair chuckles again. “Well, now it seems there’s two problems, and I’ll get to Savage in a minute. First … Sid Justice! Big man … you’re running around, calling yourself a man of justice, a guy who calls it right down the middle. Big man! You’re just a little bug, a smear on the windshield of my limousine, a chump living in the shadow of the champ! Big Sid … don’t think for a second that I’m afraid of you, cause I’ve been taking down big guys like you for longer then you’ve been out of diapers! Now! … Randy Savage. The Macho Man. Gets his kicks scaring women and putting guys out of commission. I want you to listen up real good, Savage, cause I got two things to say to you; you lay so much as a hair, you even breathe in Miss Elizabeth’s direction …” Flair swipes at the wind with one hand, hitting his other hand. “Whack! Smack the taste outta your mouth! Now, the other thing, Randy Savage, it’s real simple; you like to go around injuring guys, running them out of the company. Well, buddy, for every guy you fought, I beat another two or three! For every guy you had to cheat to beat, I made beat every single one of mine straight up! You walk around, calling yourself Worlds Champion? Well … whoo! … I been winnin’ Worlds Titles since before you were good enough to even get on TV! So now, Randy Savage, you gotta ask yourself … are you prepared to deal with the real Worlds Champion? Do you got the guts to walk that aisle and face off against Ric Flair? I ain’t no figment of the imagination anymore, Savage; I ain’t a promise, or a rumor. I’m here, I’m live, and I’m calling you out, Savage! You got a loud mouth, champ, and you can’t duck me forever … and one of these days, I’m gonna catch up and slap it shut! Whoo!”

The appearance of Ric Flair on WWF television, the turning of a rumor into reality, is the equivalent of dropping a boulder in a swimming pool. Wrestlers line up to take their shots, and their chances, against a man whose name had long been anathema in the federation. The bleach-blonde playboy welcomes all comers, from Davey Boy Smith to The Warlord, and schools each and every one of them like the champion he is. And after every match, he reiterates his challenge to Randy Savage, a challenge that goes unanswered for weeks. In fact, once a dominant, almost pervasive force on WWF programming, Randy Savage all but disappears with the arrival of Ric Flair. Only Sid remains, terrorizing everyone he comes in contact with, leaving a trail of broken bodies behind him. Yet, for some reason, Sid never approaches Flair, neither during a match nor during interviews; he keeps his distance, and continues on his path of destruction.

Roddy Piper is released from the hospital as October begins, and takes a seat in the announce booth while his injuries heal. The animosity between the Hot Rod and the champion is as fiery as ever, as Piper uses his position in the announce booth as a bully pulpit to goad the missing WWF Champion. Repeated attempts to silence Piper, both by his fellow announcers, and the WWF front office, come and go, and Piper continues his campaign against Savage. But not once does Piper publicly endorse Ric Flair and his challenge to Savage. Piper’s thoughts and actions are geared towards one goal, and one alone: revenge.

So when WWF President Jack Tunney makes an unscheduled appearance on WWF programming, Mean Gene is sent to interview him, and sort out the mess left behind by Savage.

“First of all,” Tunney says, “let me address Mr. Roddy Piper. Mr. Piper has been warned on numerous occasions to keep his opinions and volatile temper under lock and key, and thus far, he has failed to do so.”

“But, President Tunney, how fair is it to punish a man who wants justice?”

“I understand the feelings of the fans, and those of Mr. Piper,” Tunney explains, “but we cannot afford to have a loose cannon like Roddy Piper stirring up trouble when the World Champion is already unstable. But that-“

Tunney’s sentence cuts off as Piper steps up onto the dais. Mean Gene welcomes Piper to the platform, but Piper pays no attention to Gene’s welcoming gestures. “Mr. Piper,” Tunner says. “I’m glad you could join us. I have a special message for you.”

“You got a special message for me, eh, Jackson? You stand out here saying Savage is unstable, he’s put a bunch of people in the hospital, and he managed to warp the two brain cells still firing in your special referee’s head, which was a great pick there, boss … he does all this, and you call me a loose cannon? I’m the one stirring up trouble?”

“Mr. Piper, if you’ll-“

“I think you’re the problem around here, buddy boy. I think you’re the one who needs a gag order-“

“Mr. Piper!” Piper’s eyes go wide when Tunney bellows his name; it is the first time Tunney’s faÃ?á§ade of all-business has managed to crack. “If you’d let me finish, I believe you’ll find what I have to say pertinent, and maybe even acceptable?”

Piper looks to the crowd, then looks to Gene and says; “Fine, let the old dude have his piece.”

“As I was saying, Mr. Savage is a very unstable man. But that does not give him the right to disappear at will, and take this company’s most valued possession with him. Therefore, I am demanding that Randy Savage appear on WWF Superstars next week, where we will discuss his opponent for our upcoming event, Survivor Series, or he will be fined, suspended and stripped of the World Wrestling Federation Championship.” Tunney turns to Piper. “Now, Mr. Piper; the executive committee and myself have discussed at great length your situation, and we have come up with a resolution we feel is both fair and just. We would like you to take part in our Thanksgiving tradition and participate in a Survivor Series match on November 27th, pitting Ted DiBiase, The Mountie, The Undertaker and Sid Justice against yourself, the WWF Intercontinental Champion Bret Hart, Virgil and a partner as yet undetermined. Is this acceptable?”

Piper looks to the crowd for reassurance, and they give it to him in spades; it may not be a piece of Savage, but he, and everyone else (including Savage and Sid) know that, had Sid not turned on him, he would have beaten Savage. It is all the reassurance Piper needs. “Big guy,” Piper says, thrusting out a hand, “you got yourself a deal!”

Piper’s deal for revenge calms him down (as much as Piper can be calmed down), but when Savage’s deadline for appearance comes due, Piper listens with perked ears, waiting to see if the champion will show up. When Okerlund and Tunney gather on the dais for their meeting, it is not Savage who shows up, but Sid, spastic with anger. “Who do you think you are, Tunney?” he demands from behind a wall of officials and security. “You can’t stick me in a match with Piper!” But Tunney and Okerlund remain calm, patiently waiting for Savage to show up.

But instead of the WWF Champion, they get the “real” Worlds Champion. Flair casually strolls up the steps, with Elizabeth right behind, carrying the Flair’s title belt. Flair offers a hand to Tunney, who regards it with confusion. “You’re not scheduled to be here, Mr. Flair-“

“Listen up, big man,” Flair says with his unique casual flippancy, “do you know who I am? I’m Ric Flair. Do you know what that is?” he asks, pointing to his title belt. “That’s the real Worlds Championship. Champions defend their belts, and I defend my every minute of every hour of every day. Can you say the same for your champion?” Tunney shakes his head and starts to speak, but Flair turns his back on him and faces the camera. “It goes like this, Savage! I gave you the chance to get in my face and prove me wrong about who’s a real champion and who isn’t! But ya didn’t do it! You took your belt and stuck it between your legs with your tail, and you went home, cause you know, heh heh heh … you know you can’t style and profile and walk that aisle like the Nature Boy! I made the offer, Savage … I said-“

Flair’s rant is cut off by a surprise ambush from Randy Savage. Tunney calls over security, but security is already spread thin keeping Sid at bay. Nobody, save the announcers, notices Piper take off his headphones and make tracks for the platform, where Savage is kicking at Flair. Flair crawls, and almost falls, down the steps to the arena floor; Savage tears the belt out of Elizabeth’s hands, mutters a warning about coming back for her, then follows Flair down to the floor.

Piper makes it to the wall of security but is stopped; Sid backs away enough to sneak behind Piper and attack him, pounding away at Piper’s back. While Sid works on Hot Rod, Savage puts Flair’s lights out with a shot to the head with Flair’s own belt. Flair hits the ground out cold; Savage tosses the belt onto Flair and spits on it, then climbs back up the stairs. Okerlund reluctantly leans forward with the microphone; Savage grabs it and pulls him closer, so he can not only address the crowd, but do so in Tunney’s face. “Let’s get one thing perfectly straight, Jack Tunney,” Savage growls. “You don’t call the shots around here; I do. You don’t go making the matches; I do. And you don’t threaten the Macho Man ever!” Savage points to Flair. “You see that? Each and every person you put up against me, I’m gonna do that to. I don’t care if it’s Ric Flair, or Hulk Hogan, or her”-Savage gestures to Elizabeth without even looking at her-“or even you … Nobody stops the madness, you got that? You don’t threaten me …” Savage suddenly switches his attention over to Elizabeth, backing her up to the edge of the dais. “And, ooh yeah, you don’t threaten me either, you got that, princess? Do you understand me? Nobody threatens the Macho Man.”

Savage walks down the steps, pausing to stomp Flair one more time, then continues on his way until the voice of Tunney stops him in his tracks. “Mr. Savage … by showing up today, you have fulfilled the deadline, and will remain WWF Champion without sanction. However, you will defend that title at Survivor Series, and as you have defeated virtually all other available competitors, you have left me, the executive committee, and yourself with no alternative but to order you to defend the World Wrestling Federation Title against Ric Flair!” Both the crowd and Savage explode at the announcement (albeit in different ways); security has to detain Savage and escort he and Sid from the building before they can cause any further disturbance, though they are both nearly frothing at the mouth.

The remaining weeks leading up to Survivor Series sees Flair ratcheting up his taunting of Savage, both verbally and through appearances during Savage’s matches; Flair never forgets to bring his belt, making sure Savage gets a good look at it to remind him of what’s in Savage’s future. Piper joins in on the harassment, accompanying Flair to needle the psychotic duo of Savage and Sid, going so far as to causing them to lose an opportunity to capture the WWF Tag Titles from the Legion Of Doom on Superstars. The mind games push Savage and Sid over the edge, driving the two to ambush their foes on repeated occasions. During one such fight, an ambush on Flair in the entranceway turns into a melee with all four combatants and a horde of security trying to keep the fighters apart. But Savage manages to grab a chair from the broadcast booth and inadvertently breaks it over the back of Vince McMahon, who had stepped away from the broadcast booth to try and help reign in the chaos. McMahon is taken away on a stretcher while the officials fight tooth and nail to pry the four men away from each other.

The hatred forces Tunney to give the crowd a preview of Survivor Series on the last Superstars before the big event, with Piper and Flair teaming up against Savage and Sid. Unfortunately, the match ends up disintegrating into a brawl and is thrown out; worse yet, Sid’s size and Savage’s insanity overwhelm Flair and Piper, and the champion and his bodyguard beat the two into unconsciousness with chairs, repeated powerbombs and elbow drops. And, to heap insult on injury, Savage spits on Flair’s title belt, beaming with pride as he and Sid leave his handiwork.

November 27th: Survivor Series

The Survivor Series match-up pitting Piper’s team (“The Pit”) and Sid’s (“The Madness”) are saved for late in the evening, right before the big World Title match. With all the attention given to the Savage/Flair match, the big 8-man tag match, with Piper’s mystery opponent, is almost forgotten until the event itself. Naturally, the mystery opponent is introduced last, but the surprise of seeing Hulk Hogan, after nearly 8 months, fails to disappoint. Even Piper and his teammates are surprised; the only person who doesn’t register any emotion, save a red, raging bloodlust, is The Undertaker, who drops down to the arena floor and goes after Hogan as he makes his way down the ring.

The brawl starts the match, and as The Undertaker had been picked as the leadoff man, his brawl with Hogan ends up removing him from the match by way of count-out. The brawl spills into the back, and Hogan is unofficially eliminated, since he never makes it to ringside. With both sides even at three, the match continues. Virgil is the first to be eliminated, submitting to the Million Dollar Dream from his former employer Ted DiBiase; Bret Hart rallies and manages to eliminate DiBiase (also by submission), but falls victim to a Sid powerbomb, thus leaving Piper alone against Sid and The Mountie. Piper fights valiantly, managing to fend off constant double-teaming and cheating, but the numbers game catches up; Piper faces pinning combinations one after another, having to expend precious energy to kick out.

But when the end seems certain, Hogan re-emerges, ever the conquering hero, and races to the ring in time to prevent a pinfall by The Mountie. Sid tries to argue with the referee about Hogan re-entering the match, but the referee’s ruling (which is announced over the PA) says that, since Hogan never officially took part in the match, he could not be eliminated, and therefore is still a viable competitor. With the reinforcements, Piper is able to tag out and the fresh Hogan easily eliminates The Mountie, and then weakens Sid up enough for Piper to exact his revenge and put Sid down with a sleeper. Piper and Hogan, once the most bitter of rivals, celebrate together, hands raised, basking in the cheers of the crowd.

But it is only a preamble to the main event. Elizabeth accompanies Flair to the ring, ever the playboy in his sequined robe. He struts and talks to the camera, reminding everyone who the real champion is, while Savage is introduced, sans the protection of his monster, Sid. The ring announcer barely has enough time to leave the ring before Savage stampedes towards Flair, running him down with a clothesline, sending Flair to the outside. Savage follows Flair out and begins to brawl, throwing so many punches, his arms are a blur. A clothesline leads to Flair eating the guardrail, and Savage tosses him back in, but the pin attempt only gets two. Savage knees him into the corner, then follows it up with a clothesline and a suplex; Savage rushes to the turnbuckle, but by the time he’s in position, Flair has rolled out of range, and Savage comes back down. Savage goes to the eyes and follows it up with a charge, but Flair backdrops Savage to the floor; Flair, however, is weakened, and by the time he makes it outside, Savage has recovered enough to brawl. When Savage wins the war of fists vs. chops, he throws Flair into the guardrail again. Savage tosses Flair back in, hitting a delayed suplex, but it only gets two. A backdrop suplex gets two, as does a double axe handle; Flair bails to catch his breath, so Savage follows and rams him chest-first into the apron. After a bodyslam on the arena floor, Savage tosses Flair in the ring again, but only gets two. Savage and Flair start slug it out; Flair ducks a haymaker and hits a neckbreaker, but is too drained to capitalize, and the referee stars the 10-count. Savage beats Flair to his feet and goes for a wild punch, but Flair ducks and unleashes with chop after chop after chop. Flair backs Savage into the corner with the chops, unleashing a few more before slinging him across the ring; Savage hits chest first, and Flair clips him from behind. Savage crumples, and Flair goes to work; first, he drives the knee into the mat repeatedly. When that gets old, Flair switches to knee drops on it, and even blatant kicks to the hamstring. A shinbreaker is followed up by an overhead suplex which gets two, so Flair goes right back to the knee, using the ropes as leverage to drop his weight on it. Flair signals for the figure-four and starts the twist, but Savage puts a boot on Flair’s backside and pushes, sending Flair through the ropes to the floor. Savage tries to walk off the knot in his leg, but gets too close to the ropes and Flair drags him out. They trade punches for chops, but Savage ducks a punch, kicks Flair in the gut, and suplexes him on the floor. Savage tosses Flair back in the ring, then scales the turnbuckles, wobbling just a bit on his troubled knee, but manages to hit double axe handle, drawing two. Savage goes up top for the flying elbow, but Elizabeth distracts the referee, drawing Savage’s attention. She argues with the ref for a few seconds, giving Flair time to catch his breath, before dropping back down when Savage threatens to come down and give chase. When Elizabeth drops back down to the arena floor, Savage resumes with his plan, leaping into the air, elbow poised for impact … but eats mat when Flair rolls out of the way. Flair doesn’t have enough to get to his feet and wisely rolls out of the ring … unaware that Sid has come down to ringside and takes advantage of a distracted referee (again by Elizabeth, this time trying to point out Sid) to clobber Flair into a fine paste. Sid tosses Flair back into the ring, but suddenly goes down, thanks to the timely interference of Hulk Hogan and a steel chair. Hogan slides in, playing to the crowd and pointing at Savage. The energy of the crowd is positively manic, screaming when Hogan points at Savage; Hogan checks all four sides and, when all four give him a confirming vote, he bounces off the ropes and drives the wind out of Savage’s chest with his massive leg. Hogan drops another leg for good measure, then bails out. Flair revives enough to drape an arm over Savage; Elizabeth sees it and drops away. The ref turns, dives and gets to two before Savage’s arm goes up. Flair and Savage both struggle to their feet; Savage tries a weak punch, which is blocked and returned as a chop. Another punch is stopped and returned; a third is stopped, and Flair kicks Savage in the knee. Savage’s leg disintegrates, and he drops to the floor. Flair goes after it with more kicks, stomping as if he were trying to crush an elusive spider. Savage tries to scurry away to the safety of the ropes, but Flair grabs his legs and holds on. After few more kicks to the hamstring, and Flair steps through as quick as he can, dropping down and cinching on the hold like a vice. Savage’s screams are audible, even over the crowd; he drops back a couple times, only for the referee to start the count. Savage is up before the palm can hit the mat, but Flair slaps him back down. Savage tries to reverse the hold, but Flair thrusts his weight in the other direction, countering Savage’s attempts to roll over. When Savage tries to pull away to the ropes, Flair pulls back and wrenches down on the knee even harder. Savage screams, trying to block the pain, the referee continually asking if he wants to quit. Every time Savage says no, Flair torques the grip of the hold a little more, until finally, Savage can take no more. The referee springs up and orders the bell to be rung, and the arena explodes. Flair releases the hold, and the referee helps him up, presenting him with the title belt. Through eyes clouded by sweat and tears, Savage rolls over and sees Hogan in the aisle; he is grinning, arms on his hips. Hogan mouths three simple, easy-to-read words: He’s coming back. Savage’s eyes go wide; he needs no explanation for that threat. There could only be one “he” Hogan could be referring to, and for Randy Savage, it is a nightmare come true; 8 months of hard work, of warring and injuring, and sending people into retirement … all coming to a crashing end, all in one night. And, Savage realized, those men he had driven away, or injured, or hurt, would now come looking for him, wanting blood and payback. What kind of payback would satisfy a man who had been pushed to the edge of his physical limits, all for naught, to be driven away from his career? What kind of revenge would satiate that maniac, that warrior?

For the first time in months, maybe years, Randy Savage felt a pang of fear.

The End

Yeah, so it’s short. At least I didn’t drag it out needlessly.

Again, top pimps go to Kurtis for his amazing amount of help that went into the formation of this column.

Goforth says it’s perverted he’s never plugged me, since we’re bothe only grads of the Summer At 411 promotion to be on IP (I think). I’d say that’s a poor choice of words. But I forgive. His column has developed into something pretty damned unique and cool, and his POV on tweeners … dead to nuts.

Eric S managed to do a column almost entirely free of American election content. For him, that’s comparable to most IWC people going a column without bashing Triple H. Or Ted Kennedy not taking a drink. Good job, Eric!

Gordi is trying to spark debate by declaring certain sacred cows overrated. And (aside from AJ Styles), he’s spot-on correct on all of them. But if you really wanted to piss people off, you should’ve gone after Benoit or Guerrero. If you click on his link to the forum thread he made for discussing it, you’ll see I did. I ain’t afraid of backlash.

Over in Games, Laflin still doesn’t like being an old man in a young man’s world. But I’m with ya.

And since I don’t have anything specific to pimp Music, TV, Sports, Comics, or Figures, I’m pimping the entire zone. All are zones are filled with kick-ass writers. But you knew that.

Polls are still open regarding the direction of my InVasion story! Plot outlines are available in my blog, which is where you do the voting. You gotta be registered with IP, but that’s free, yo … and it gets you access to our absolutely amazing Forums, which are really amazing, absolutely. But, just to recap a few things …

Some people have tried to combine some of the ideas into a new idea. Nuh-uh. I set out three ideas for a reason: to keep this focused. If I looked at every idea possible for the InVasion, I’d be up to my ass in mutations. One of the three only.

No creating your own fourth idea either. Stick with my three.

And voting is only to be done through the comments section of the blog entry. Polls close at the stroke of midnight, Dec. 1. You got time, but why dawdle? (And, in case any of my fellow IP staffers are reading, yes, you are eligable to vote too. Cast your nets, wanderers!)

That’s enough for this time around. But in two weeks, saddle up the ponies, cause we’ll have a new tale of the unknown to deal with …

“What if what HHH says never took place did and stayed that way?”