Live from Peoria, Ill
Announcers are JR & The King
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for InsidePULSE by PK
In Memorandum: I’ll miss you Billy…I will be purchasing TNA this weekend just for the chance he will show up.
Snitsky’s music starts, and he comes down toting a stroller full of road signs, apparently there will be a Hardcore Match.
Backstage Eugene is getting ready to come down to the ring, and Regal begs to go with him, but Eugene wants to do this on his own.
Gene Snitsky vs. Eugene – Hardcore Rules Match
Snitsky meets Eugene on the floor, and clubs him down, and sends him in the ring. Eugene gets up, and beats down Snitsky with a broom stick. Snitsky fights back with a chain, and starts choking Eugene out. Snitsky then holds up a sign that has a baby crossed out on it, and cracks it over Eugene’s back. Snitsky then body slams Eugene on a ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‹Å“Slow Children’ sign. HAHA. Snitsky gets a chair, and it looks as he is going to pulverize Eugene’s throat, but Eugene starts to tard up, and fights back. Eugene charges with the chair, but Snitsky gets his boot up. Snitsky then hits the Mourning After Slam on the ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‹Å“Slow Children’ sign.
Winner – Snitsky
Snitsky then goes to pulverize his throat again, but Regal makes the save, punching Snitsky in the gut with brass knucks.
HHH says that last week he was attacked by a large number of people, which he can only blame their envy. HHH says that those guys that jumped him last week have to think if they did the right thing in attacking the biggest name in the business. HHH will not be there, and he wants to see how the show goes without him. And, when he comes back, he demands the respect he deserves, or else Evolution will make it happen. According to him, with out HHH, RAW is Nothing.
King plugs the new Diva magazine, and they introduce New Girl Maria, who is the new interviewer…I guess Old New Guy Todd is too busy taking Snow’s place.
Maria is with Tajiri, and Tajiri says that the lockerroom doesn’t care that HHH isn’t there, and they hope he never comes back. He then tells Maria that it’s nice to meet her, and Flair walks up. Flair wants to let bygones be bygones. Batista then comes from behind and tosses Tajiri head first into a dumpster, and they then walk towards the ring.
Flair & Batista come out to the ring. Flair demands that Bischoff makes the faces pay for what happened. Bischoff comes out, and says that he is out there for business and personal reasons. Business, he makes 3 matches for Survivor Series. Benjamin vs. Christian for the IC, Lita vs. Trish for the Woman’s, and Jericho, Benoit, Maven & Orton will face HHH, Batista, Snitsky & Edge. Flair is upset that he isn’t on the card. Bischoff says that he enjoyed what happened next week, so after Survivor Series, he will be taking a month long vacation, and the winning team will be in charge of Raw while he is gone.
WWE Rewind – Christian jumping Shelton last week.
Christian vs. The Hurricane
They go back and forth with tie ups, and Edge comes out, with new, cool music. He plugs his autobiography that is in stores tomorrow. He did want to make the last chapter about how the fans voted him in at Taboo Tuesday, but the fans screwed him out of that. Edge then gives JR a signed copy. Christian hits the Unprettier.
Winner – Christian
Shelton comes out at Christian bails out. Christian says that Tyson is out with an injury, so he has a one night only Problem Solver, and Viscera comes out! Viscera hits a powerslam, and Shelton is hurting.
Old New Guy Todd with Edge. Edge says that he will be with Benoit while they defend the Tag Team Titles against La Resistance. Benoit comes in, and they go back and forth. Edge takes one of the Tag Titles.
Maven runs into the Evolution locker room. Evo tries to scare Maven, but Jericho and Orton come in. They then punk out Evo.
Simon Dean is in the ring, and he has chosen Peoria for his first live infomercial. He pokes fun at a couple of fat people in the front row, then finds someone in then 2nd row, and has him come in the ring. Dean wants to prove that this kid, named Matt, should start using the Simon System. He has Matt take his shirt off, and he then makes fun of his man boobs. Matt shoves Dean, and then flips over the table with the Simon products on it. Dean comes from behind, and takes down Matt, then locks on a submission, that resembles the Regal Stretch without crossing the legs.
Chris Benoit & Edge (c) vs. La Resistance – World Tag Team Titles
Benoit gets jumped by La Rez right away, and Edge still hasn’t come down. After a few minutes, Edge finally comes out, and plays to the crowd, while Benoit gets beat down. Edge gets on the apron, and Benoit goes to tag, but Edge backs off, and goes up the ramp…and tells Benoit that he can do it! HAHA.
Edge is now at the announce table, and he and King are talking about his book. Edge says that he will go down there when is good and ready. Benoit fires up, and hits the Trifecta of Germans on Greiner. Edge makes his way down, as Benoit hits a Swandive. Edge wants the tag in, but Benoit won’t let him in. Benoit locks the Crossface on Greiner, and Edge distracts the ref, and Conway comes in, breaking up the Crossface. They then hit the Au Revoir on Benoit for the pin.
Winners and NEW Champions – La Rez
Edge jumps La Rez, and takes one of the belts. He then drills Benoit, and beats him down. Edge makes Benoit tap in the Crossface.
Coach and Bischoff talking about Survivor Series. Flair and Batista come in, and screams at Bischoff. He demands Bischoff review his stipulations for Survivor Series. Bischoff says NO! Bischoff says that tonight, we will have a Six Man Tag, with Maven, Orton and Jericho facing Evolution. Batista reminds us that HHH isn’t there. Bischoff says that if HHH doesn’t show up, then it will be a handicap match.
Muhammad Hassan doesn’t want to be steriotyped as being linked with 9/11 and terrorism. He just wants an equal opportunity here in the WWE. He translater, Khosrow Daivari, translates for the Arabic fans.
Survivor Series Card:
Recap of the One Night Only Problem Solver taking out Shelton Benjamin. Benjamin has challenged Viscera to a match tonight, and it will happen next.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera
Shelton comes down with his ribs taped up. Shelton tries to take the fight right to Viscera, but Big Vis starts to maul him. Viscera nails a huge belly to belly suplex. Shelton is struggling with his ribs as Viscera exposes them. Shelton goes for the pop T-Bone, but Viscera smashes him. Viscera goes for the Baldo Bomb, but Shelton rakes his eyes. Shelton then goes for a Superkick, but Viscera catches it, only for Shelton to hit the swinging enzaguri for the pin.
Winner – Shelton Benjamin
Christian runs down, and goes for an Unprettier, but Shelton shoves out of it, and nails the T-Bone.
Slam of the Week (Brought to you by the SIMON SYSTEM!!! HAHA): Trish and Lita cat fighting.
Trish comes down, and says that her family members and fans are concerned, because Lita is a walking kiss of death. She then shows a recap of Lita’s career, in a video montage. Lita came in with Essa Rios, but soon after their debut, Essa was gone. Lita, unfazed by Essa’s absence, joins up with the Hardy Boyz, and forms Team Xtreme. Lita digs her claws in the Hardy’s and they never teamed together again. She then did a guest spot on the TV Show, Dark Angel, and after he spot in the season finale, they cancelled the show. (Weird, I thought that FOX moving it to Fridays put it in the shitter). She then finally returned to RAW, reuniting with her love, Matt Hardy, and V1 needed an IV after KANE was through with him. She then married KANE, the one person she hated most in the world, but now he is in a hospital bed. So, Trish can understand why everyone is afraid of her getting hurt at the hands of Lita, but not to worry, because above all, Lita is a loser. Lita comes out, and beats up on Trish, but Gail comes out and helps Trish.
Chris Jericho, Maven, & Randy Orton vs. Evolution
Evo starts strong, with Batista manhandling Orton. Flair in, tries to chop away, but Orton corners him, and hits rights and lefts. Orton with a back body drop, and Jericho is in. Jericho hits a sloppy Bulldog (due to Flair being old). Jericho locks on the Walls, and Batista comes in, but Jericho drops the Walls, and Maven and Orton back up Jericho. Jericho then corners Flair, and taunts Batista, while Maven uses the tag rope to choke Flair!! Flair finally gets to Batista, and Batista muscles Jericho. Flair back in, and Jericho nails the running enzaguri. Batista and Orton in, Orton cleans house. Maven and Jericho come in with a double drop kick on Batista. Batista & Flair are trying to regroup, and HHH’s music hits. HHH comes out on the ramp…its not him, its someone in a HHH shirt and a wig…IT’S TAJIRI!!!! Tajiri does the spitting of the of the water thing, only it’s his green myst!!! HAHA. The faces gets Evo back in the ring, and Orton nails the RKO on Batista for the pin.
Winners – Maven, Jericho, & Orton
The faces, along with Tajiri, celebrate on the ramp. Batista is really pissed, and he shoves Flair down.