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Quickie Intro

Hi all. My name’s Shaun, and I’m the Inside Pulse Movie’s News Guy – I am your gatekeeper! Never forget it! Just like the real life mass media! Bawhawhaw…Yeah..that won’t happen again today. I’ll also be the guy providing you with your WEEKLY PULSE! Yeah baby. Anything and everything relevant you see in the movie zone will be posted here, every Friday (Hopefully). I plan on taking some of the relevant news and re-posting it here for YOUR convenience, along with some of my personal thoughts on said headlines, because I just don’t get my own little column to do that in. I’ll also be linking you to some of the best in our business (if online, non-paying, movie reviews and columns were a business, anyway), and briefly summarizing their stuff, whether it be columns, reviews, specials, etc. I mean, seriously guys, sI’m not just a writer – I’m also a fan.

So anyway, being as this is my first “featured column” here at the Pulse, I’m not exactly sure where I’m going with it, or how the layout will ultimately be, or any of that. I’m kind of winging it, actually, and hoping for the best. Of course, you guys, being the most important factor here, could help decide that. If there’s anything you like, let me know. Anything you hate, send it my way. Thoughts, ideas, hate mail, you name it, I’ll read it. And I’ll respond to it, right here. Feedback – It’s good for the soul.

Some Background

While I don’t think that many of you care much about my background or anything of it, I think it’s fitting for me to briefly say something about myself and our zone here at Inside Pulse. First, about me: I’ve always wanted to write for a major site such as this, and I actually applied for a position at 411mania way back in the day. True story, they had an opening for a writer for the games section and I, being a young, cocky video gamer and wanna-be writer, put together a quick *and horrible* review of a little game called Metal Gear Solid 2. Well, it was apparently SO bad that I never heard back from the site. Ever. So that was kind of humbling. (And, if my uber-boss Widro should read this, that review submission never, ever happened. Ever) Then the Pulse splits from 411, and launches on its own, complete with new sections and openings. Now, I had learned a thing or two since my ill-fated game submission, and I wanted to try again. I knew I didn’t know enough about wrestling (Despite a passion for it) or sports or figures or comics or…you get the picture. Then they announced they were hiring for the movie zone. I had developed quite an interest in movies, and I wanted this pretty bad. So I applied. They said they’d respond in 48-72 hours. So I waited.

….and waited….

….and waited. Two weeks, at least. They sure did make us sweat it out. By then I was feeling pretty crappy about myself and my abilities as a writer. It was 411 all over again. Then, one day, a glorious e-mail appears in my InBox – Inside Pulse movies. I had gotten the job. And now I had my chance to write for you, the people. It also turns out similar situations happened to some (most?) of the crew here, but, a short time later, here we are.

And now, obviously, the Movies Pulse is up and running, and running strong. We have a pretty amazing line up, if I may say so myself, and I’d like to take a minute to give my first personal shout out to all of the crew here (And yes, I do realize that Brendan Campbell did this gimmick too, but I maintain that I thought of it first!). The easiest way to do that is introduce you to the big multi-tasker himself, and our loveable, hugable (Just don’t call him Mr.) boss, Steve Coogan. Of course, if you read Steve’s State of the Pulse, you’ll see he has listed all of us there and even given a brief description underneath (Just what, exactly, is wrong with New Jersey? Don’t tempt me: I WILL go Tony Soprano on your….oh, I see it now). And now, to you, the readers. We’re going to work hard for you. We’re going to do reviews out the wazoo, including theatrical and DVD releases. We’re going to keep the news flowing. We’ve got some really neat features lined up not too far down the road, either (Though none I can talk about yet). So thank you, on behalf of Movies Pulse, for giving us a shot out of the gates. Stick with us, we’re here for the long haul, and we’d like you to be, too.

*Ahem* Enough with the mushy stuff, I’ll get the show on the road now, I promise.

News You Can Use, and I Abuse

As I stated above, I am technically the “movie news guru” for the time being. I scour the internet, I devour the dirt sheets, I call the hotlines, I tap into Wade Keller’s secret….oops, wait, wrong zone. Nevermind all that. Heh. In all seriousness, I have been charged with keeping the news flowing into the site, which I do gladly. However, since it’s all ‘official’ when posted there, opinions are a no-no. Thankfully, that doesn’t apply here, and what I plan to do with this section each week (Minus this long preamble starting next week) is take the top headlines, the news bytes that should, theoretically, get people talking, and recap them here. With commentary. Since that’s so self explanatory, lets jump right into it.

Brosnan Says Bye to Bond…..Sort of

Pierce Brosnan has finally, officially, 100%, he won’t go back on it this time, said goodbye to the James Bond franchise. According to him, he was gung-ho for a fifth movie and then the studio turned on him and said no thanks. No word, as of yet, as to why that happened. Of course, just a few days later, Pierce was back to confuse people yet again when he said he WOULD do another Bond, but only if Quentin Tarantino directed it. Headache. Turns out Tarantino might adapt the novel Casino Royale for the big screen treatment, but this would not be Bond 21, apparently taking place outside that current franchise.

To add to the fun, Hugh Jackman went on record (apparently) to say he wants to be Bond. This puts him on a list with other actors Jude Law, Colin Firth, Clive Owen, and Colin Farrell, with Farrell getting the personal backing of Brosnan, who has given up the tux but would don it once more if Tarantino directed a film, which would not be Bond 21, which Jackman and Farrell want. Yeah……advil anyone?

Personally, I’d like to see Wolverine in there over Bullseye myself, but they’re both excellent at what they do. Time will tell where this goes, and if Pierce can keep quiet, we might be able to follow it without the migraine.

Snow White and The Blob and The Fog – Holy Remake!

Remake news galore this week. First, in a, well, unique take on a child’s tale, Disney is set to remake the classic Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. They plan only minor changes though. Small, hard to notice details, like the backdrop of British colonial China, for example. Or, the subtle replacement of dwarves with ass-kicking Shaolin monks (I’d rather see Shaolin dwarves, myself). Nothing major. Actually, in all seriousness, if Disney does this right, it could kick a lot of ass. But then again it’s Disney, and their recent track record doesn’t give people much hope….

On a different end of remake town, major horror classics The Blob and The Fog are set to be remade. It’ll be interesting to see how they handle The Blob with todays special effects addicted crowd. And John Carpenter is hanging around to produce the remake of his original work. Can’t really think about much to say on that, actually. Moving on.

Star Wars and Batman Begins. Commence fanboy drooling…..now

This week, the official teaser poster of the third and final Star Wars prequel was released to the internet. As per the norm, Star Wars fans loved it, hated it, loved it again, and then argued about how it was awesome/sucked hard, for hours on end. Not being a Star Wars fanboy, I thought it was pretty cool looking, and they could have done worse.

Also, the teaser trailer for the film debuted online yesterday for anyone who had AOL or a membership to the Hyperspace section of Starwars.com. It was also on Access Hollywood and will be in front of The Incredibles this weekend. Again, I’m not a hardcore fan by any means, but MAN did this trailer rock. I watched it three times. It does everything a teaser trailer for this kind of movie needs to do, and it does it perfectly. It is also very, very dark, which is what this movie needs to be in order to succeed. Lucas has my attention now, and I’d be willing to forget I and II if he hit III out of the park. One more chance, George…..

Now, onto a similar topic where I am, indeed, a fanboy. Christian Bale is my hero. Literally. I love his work, and everything I see about Batman makes my anticipation rise higher, plus everything I hear sounds so good I can hardly believe it. I love Batman. I was huge into Batman as a kid, and turned off by the later movies. But, with Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale doing everything right, I’m ready to throw my money at Warner Bros. next summer. Over and over again.

Lindsay Lohan’s Picture Shows Up Online Too, Along With Some Fantastic Photos

Lindsay Lohan’s next film is another Disney one. She plays a ‘racing girl’ who enters Herbie the Love Bug into the FAST PACED world of NASCAR! YEAH!!!! Sorry, but I had to fake the excitement. I just don’t share the online obsession of Lohan with so many other…erm….guys. I think she’s a decent actress, and her future has potential. I was dragged to Mean Girls and actually enjoyed it, but I think it’s about time she got out of the Disney mold and moved up to serious acting, to see if she really has what it takes. Or some would say Playboy, if the acting thing doesn’t pan out.

Then there were the pics that surfaced of the Fantastic Four. There are some rumblings out of the set of The Fantastic Four now and then, but nothing major. I’m surprised the buzz around this isn’t louder, as they’re a fairly well known and loved group of super heros. I, personally, never got into the group or its story, and I only knew them through Spiderman cameos for a while. I assume more people will be really excited about this, so it’ll be interesting to see where it goes in the immediate future.

More Reviews Than You Can….Err…Point a Thumb At?
(Yeah, someone help me out here, I’m looking for a good title lead in)

Pulse Movies launched with a bang, not a whimper. We had no less than seven (one movie twice) major theatrical releases reviewed on launch day, with two more following shortly after. Here’s a quick hitlist of films currently in theaters.

Surviving Christmas – Brendan Campbell was courageous enough to volunteer for this (and all future?) Ben Affleck bomb, and you know what? He survived PLUS Affleck wasn’t THAT terrible in it. Check it out here.

I Heart Huckabees – Joe Bieda found it to be a mixed, quirky bag of philosophical rhetoric. I thought it was brilliant. Nonetheless, read his excellent review here.

Team America: World Police – Ryan Closs finds it has depth and a ton of humor. You just need an open mind. Read it here.

The Grudge – Robert Sutton is scared by little Japanese children, but he doesn’t hold it against them! Ha! Get it? Hold it….like a grud…..oh just click already.

Shaun of the Dead – The funniest movie of the year, and a top contender on my personal list of movie of the year. It’s so good, we have TWO reviews up, one by Gina Pantone and another by Ryan Closs. They both loved it too.

Saw – Rounding out the horror genre for the week is Saw by yours truly. Click here for my thoughts on it.

Friday Night Lights – One of the best sports movies ever? Michaelangelo thinks so. Read on for his thoughts.

Ladder 49 – Take advantage of a post-9/11 public? Never! Matthew Ravas does not like this film, and does not hesitate to tell you why here.

Donnie Darko: Directors Cut – Pretty sure this one is in limited release, but that didn’t stop Jon Bieda. He’s seen both versions of this film, and the new one blew him away. Read his review here.

On DVD

We’ve even got some DVD reviews for you to check out this week.

The Black Hole – First up we have the Scott Keith Smark rant. (Excuse me one moment: Holy crap! I’m plugging Scott Keith! I write on the same site as The Smark himself!! Wrestling fan total mark out moment!!!) Ahem. This one seems to be a disappointment on every front. I’ve never even heard of it, but you can check it out here.

Dark City – A unique sci-fi movie so cool that The Matrix borrowed from it, according to Shane Viars. He likes the movie a lot, so check it out.

Star Wars: A New Hope – Brendan Campbell loves his Star Wars. He has written an extensive review of the new DVD, covering everything, including the changes Lucas has made this time around. Check it out here.

Phew. That’s a lot to read and write in one week, and there probably won’t be that many on a weekly basis, but trust me when I saw reviews are a top priority here. We want you to come to the Pulse for all of your movie needs, and we want your trust. We are prepared to negotiate for it, or even……*Sigh* or even earn it if we have to. So don’t go anywhere (Do I hammer a point home or what?)

We Even Do Columns!
Oh, the great lengths we go to for you people. We’ve got some great original content in weekly columns, and some really talented writers. As time goes by and you get to know them, you’ll see what I mean. Here’s what they did this week.

First, Jon Bieda offers up an interesting concept in Movie vs Film. He explains the differences between a ‘movie’ and a ‘film’ and then puts Last Action Hero vs Memento! Memento is one of my favorite movies ever and LAH is fun. Very well done piece with lots of potential for the future.

J. Kern is here to let you know what movies are and aren’t worth your hard earned dollar. This week, he dissects the disappointing Alien vs. Predator and hilarity ensues. Take a look and laugh for yourself. Makes me feel good I skipped AvP in theatrical release.

Who knew cult cinema could be so thrilling? Apparently, Brad Torreano did, and he debuts with a ton of information on all those movies you never heard of but should see anyway. Get your cultness on here.

Robert Sutton debuts with R0btain’s Badass Cinema. While I ponder the use of a zero in his name, he provides an excellent look at the movie that is, in his opinion, the best ever made, Seven Samurai. I must admit, after reading him, I added the film to my personal Netflix Que. Great column, but R0b loses points, for ass kissing in his opening, which is disappointing. (Everyone KNOWS Widro/Coogan are the perfect combo, stop reminding them. Jeez)

Want to know what makes a perfect flick? Or what films qualify as perfect flicks? Why, click on over to Michaelangelo McCullar’s column, The Perfect Flick! He writes about The Warriors to kick things off, and is the first in the section to hand out some pimpin action (And, subsequently, puts me out of a job). Another fine column with a unique take on things.

Finally, in the near future some may consider our resident Star Wars fanboy Brendan Campbell the hardest worker at pulse movies. Not only does he do reviews, but he also offers up The Top Ten Star Wars Moments, his own Ridiculously Good Looking Movie Column, AND he put together a Weekend Box Office Preview. All for you, people. All for you. Check out all his work, though, because it is all excellent (and Zoolander was awesome).

Again, a lot of content, I know, but it is ALL worth your time. Some real high quality work in there, and it’s only the beginning! (I won’t say that again, I promise).

Norty’s Rant: Saw 2

The weekly inclusion of a mini rant and/or some commentary is up in the air and will depend on the news and movies out at the time. I’ll keep it short this week because the column is long enough already.

I went into seeing Saw with a lot of anticipation. The word of mouth and early reviews were good, and I was desperate for a new, good horror/thriller film. I walked out of Saw slightly disappointed overall. I wrote about most of it in my review, but basically the bad didn’t outweigh the good. Arguably the best part about the movie was the way it ended – it was damn near perfect. I was very happy with the ending of the movie. And then they announce a sequel.

**Possible Spoiler Warning Below for anyone who hasn’t seen it??**

Anyone who has seen the film knows there should be no sequel. Why, why, WHY would Lions Gate do this? (Yes, I’m aware of the reason being money, bear with the rant here folks) They can’t continue the story of the first, technically, or use the same cast with the level of originality the first has. They can’t use the same villain, and the copy-cat-killer story is tired. They are going to take a good movie with an excellent concept and totally trash it. As a viewer, everything on the screen was new to me. I didn’t know what to expect or how bad it would get. I don’t see how they can replicate that feeling with a sequel. You’ll know exactly what you’re in for and what to expect. To me, that ruins the entire concept. Not to mention sequels are almost never as good as the first, and given what they can and cannot (Logically) do here, I am pissed that this was greenlit, let alone fast tracked for next Halloween. Unless they do something really surprising, imaginative, LOGICAL (I just can’t stress it enough) and unique with this, this will probably end up being a lackluster waste of time. And that’s a shame, because Saw deserves better.

Of course, that’s just my opinion, and I could be wrong.

That is going to wrap things up for the first edition of The Weekly Pulse. I’ll be refining this as the weeks go by, so bear with me as it’s still rough around the edges. Once again, thanks for being here and hopefully you’ll stick around. Feedback is appreciated and encouraged, and be sure to buy some Tang, for that long drive home!