Howdy and welcome back to the odd column out here at InsidePulse TV. This is where you find your weekly fill of randonymity® and hodgepodgery®.
So I was watching 13 Going On 30. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. Before you chastise me (Joe Reid, I’m looking at you!) let me preface it with this story.
A Completely Rational Explanation For Why I Was Watching A Bad Movie
Y’see this summer I went to Iowa for a family reunion. It was pretty cool. I got to see my mom and other family members, as I guess should be expected. Well on the flights in and out the airline showed movies. On the way in I saw Garfield, which made turbulence (the phenomenon, not the flick) seem enjoyable.
On the flight back to Las Vegas they showed Shrek 2 and 13 Going On 30. Now the problem was that 13 Going On 30 was showed second. There is a scene toward the end of the third act where Matt (Mark Ruffalo, who must have taken this role to pay off student loans) gives Jenna (Jennifer Affleck Garner) a dollhouse. It’s right at the climax of the movie. It’s a powerful scene, relatively, within the movie.
Now at that scene, when I’d invested quite a bit emotionally into the movie at that point, the movie stops. The stewardess tries to start it up again, but it stops at the exact same spot. She tries nearly half a dozen times, each time my need for closure growing stronger and stronger.
Finally she informs the passengers, that they don’t have the end of the movie!. That was the end of the tape! Now I’m a sucker for romances and happy endings. But I had no clue how this movie was going to end. Was Jenna going to get Matt? Was Jenna going to go back to being 13 again? How does the movie end?!
Thankfully my roommate was at a friend’s house, saw the DVD and asked to borrow it. I finally got my closure.
But the point of the story was that one of the previews on the DVD was for Seinfeld. I’m so amped right now. I can’t wait for that DVD.
What Caught My Attention Last Week
Real Time With Bill Maher – Entertaining as usual. There wasn’t really a right-wing voice, but I didn’t mind that much. I really can’t wait to see what’s said on the next episode.
Saturday Night Live – Wow, this episode was bad. I had zero desire to watch. Weekend Update was cool, but the rest of the episode was kind of flat. And Em didn’t win any points with is lethargic performances either.
Desperate Housewives – This is a very entertaining show. I’m surprised how much I care about the characters. It’s funny, with a real mystery. Quite the anomaly.
The Wire – While I understand Avon’s feelings, I feel for Stringer. He’s between a rock and a hard place. He’s trying to get legit, but his relationship with D’angelo’s girl is bad business and kind of out of character. I’m glad that Daniels recognized the racial implications of his affair. And watching Cutty’s humanity reveal itself was a touching moment.
The Greatest Show Ever”¦this week– Lost – I’m really pissed that I missed that episode a few weeks back. I’m really more interested in what led the characters to being on the plane than I am in anything else. I don’t care about the creatures on the island. I don’t care about the signal or the mysterious other people. I care about the characters.
Of course that’s not all I watched on TV.
ELECTIONS!
So they happened on Tuesday and for the first time ever I voted. I’m sure you’re wondering “Mathan, why haven’t you voted.” Well it’s for two reasons. 1) I’ve never done anything that requires you to be a certain age to take part in. That includes drinking alcohol, smoking, and driving. 2) Generally speaking two white guys from the “right side of the tracks” don’t represent a Black Gen Xer (At least I think I’m a Gen Xer, I never really found out where the cut off line was) from right on the tracks.
However I felt compelled to vote this election. It was mostly because I’m vehemently anti-Bush (unless we’re talking the vernacular, in which case I’m way pro-Bush). Sure we both have a habit of making up words, but I do it with clever wit in an attempt to expand the language, whereas he, as with every other situation, just tries to butcher it.
So I did watch election coverage this year. Unfortunately I had to work. Fortunately there were two TV’s at work. Unfortunately the one I had the best view of was the one on Fox News. Needless to say, when I left work at 10pm PST, it was quite a long walk home.
When I got home my roommate was watching CNN, which gave her the incredibly optimistic and conservative Electoral Vote count of Bush – 249, Kerry – 242. As much as I didn’t wan to burst her bubble, I also didn’t want to be depressed alone. I suggested that she bounce around the other news channels to get a better gauge of how the election was going.
It was shortly after that that we tried to decide where we would rather live. She suggested Canada, because they have that free healthcare thing up there. But I reminded her that we had just moved from Baltimore to escape the cold, and suggested Mexico. She’s from Cali, and I’m from Tucson, so the climate would be closer to what we grew up in. We’re both huge fans of Mexican food (it’s like my personal “soul food”) and she really digs Latino guys. Then we both decided that this was just our immediate reaction to the election, and that we probably shouldn’t get our passports in order yet.
She went to bed, and I stayed up writing. I kept the TV on CNN, because it allowed me to cling to the little shred of optimism that I had left. What really sucked was that even though I had the next two days off, they were ruined because I knew what I had to look forward to for the next four years.
I know, I’m kind of a downer. But read these, they’ll cheer you up;
Mike’s column on Halloween and voting may seem dated, but it’s still a quality read.
Carlos breaks down SNL much better than I do.
Brian makes a great debut this week. Read him and you’ll know the joys of cable.
Bob describes what I wish I had been watching on Tuesday night. He also gives an amazing rundown on Fox’s Lineup.
Didey really digs Denny Crane, and who can blame her?
Steve dissects the differences between Law & Orders. Later Mr. Coogan has info on lots of TV related stories, including new series on ESPN and HBO and some midseason casualties.
Three Tha Friday
If we were Lil’ Jon catchphrases Aaron would be “Yeeeeah!”, Joe would be “Okay!” and I would be “What!”
Aaron isn’t up yet, but the first chapter in his latest multipart epic is. He dressed up as Optimus Prime for Halloween.
Joe gave props to Thriller last week. But he took it too far when he dressed up as Vincent Price. And I’m not talking about prime Vincent Price. I’m talking current, decayed Vincent Price.
You’re probably wondering what I was dressed up as. Well I dressed up as a guy who couldn’t vote in Florida for the 2000 election. So, y’know I just dressed like a regular Black guy.
Greatest Video Ever”¦this week
Cameo – Word Up
This video is great on so many levels. But primarily it’s great to see Larry Blackmon sporting a protective cup. A protective cup and tights. As if that weren’t enough, you also get to witness perhaps the pinnacle of Levar Burton’s acting ability, as the cop. I tell you, videos get no better than this.
Laters.
