Aloha, and fear not: there will be many more Totally True Tune Tales to come. Simply, one must come to the realization that even being all grandma-aged at 27, I simply could never spew 52 Tune Tales a year without running out of steam. So now, I’m switchin’ it up. While I still have fifty buckets of material sitting on the wayside, the last thing anyone needs is for next year at this time to be reading about that one day when I was listening to Starship’s “We Built This City” while waiting in the car for my mom. Preventing this monstrosity of a future will be this lovely column, something with which folks may be more comfortable in op/ed format, alternated with the remaining Tune Tales. Don’t you cry tonight, Axl, for all will be fiiiiine.
For those who have merely stumbled across me via Joshua Grutman’s old Monday column at 411 or simply ran across me here at IP, I’ll provide a quick and dirty backstory. I first touched the Internet in 1993, I became a chat room regular in 1995 through college, I surfed via WebTV in 1997 and got a computer in 1998. I started writing for hOe e’zine later that year and later took over as editor for a good chunk of time; I later started Anada e’zine (currently on hiatus) in 2000. I wrote metal music reviews for WhiteTrashDevil.com and a few things here and there for the now-dead ReviewToAKill.com. Dearest Mr. Grutman found me after I plugged him on my LiveJournal, and the rest is devilish details.
As for music cred of sorts, in my time out and about, I have befriended a few musicians here and there, some DJs, and other rock writers over the years. Most frighteningly, I’m known for my CD/record collection, which as of today is somewhere in the 6800 range. I’m stuck in a rather awkward place in eastern Iowa which makes it difficult to see shows on a regular basis, but I do what I can. As for taste, everyone knows by now about Dream Theater (and my tattoo), but I listen to such a wide array of genres that it’s impossible to know what sort of oddities may be pouring out of my speakers. I’m a metal girl at heart, but I have just as much of a soft spot for Liz Phair, Fleetwood Mac, and Madonna.
Enough with the silly introductions. Here’s a column.
Alice In Musicland
…a.k.a., my little news analysis section. You’ll catch on to my formatting rather quickly.
Rod Stewart and Michael McDonald are both found extremely high on the Billboard Top 100 album chart (through October 31st, I believe), coming in at numbers 4 and 9 respectively (after Stewart topped the charts last week). Of course, the new offerings from Trick Daddy and R. Kelly & Jay-Z trumped them both, but honestly, doesn’t that make it all just a little more creepy? We’re talking about two artists who certainly aren’t getting mainstream airplay on Top 40 stations, never mind that it’s fair to say that I haven’t personally looked anytime recently to see what Michael McDonald has been doing with his life. Still, both of these artists’ albums — Stewart’s Stardust… The Great American Songbook Vol. III and McDonald’s Motown Two — are sequels to prior all-cover releases.
The target demographic for these albums must be somewhere up there with my mother (although she’s more of a Doors/Hendrix kind of chick). The question is, where and how are these albums being marketed? I don’t watch Lifetime and don’t read Good Housekeeping, so I have no idea if the aging housewife baby boomer set is being slammed with ads trying to reel them into fond remembrances of their youths. For all I know, Rod Stewart is personally going to sewing circles, oozing charm (is that what’s oozing?) and reminding those whose children are finishing college that, indeed, they once thought he was sexy. Are there life-size cardboard cutouts of Michael McDonald at mom-and-pop hardware stores to persuade the early retired that they can take a trip back in time? Honestly, it doesn’t matter — whatever they did, it obviously worked. Still, it’s a mystery to a youngish bystander to look at a chart overflowing with R&B and knowing exactly who is spinning those albums. It’s all a crazy mystery.
On the other hand, if we’re talking solely about the appeal of cover songs, what about A Perfect Circle’s Emotive (I don’t care about their silly capital letters, okay)? Released just last week, it’s impact has not been published as of this writing; will younger folks clamor to hear rehashed versions of songs that might very well pre-date them, or is it the allure of the performing artists themselves? It’s more than safely true that those buying the album will be APC fans vs. folks who absolutely must have every cover of “Gimme Gimme Gimme” ever recorded. Still, marketing for the album has been fairly widespread; early release of the “Imagine” video hit the waves a couple of weeks ago, and people in general seem to be aware of its existence via the regular outlets. So, will younger fans be as apt to snatch up an album of covers as their parents (or younger grandparents)?
Rush released Feedback earlier this year — another all-covers album — with fairly positive reaction. It certainly wasn’t a blockbuster release, but Rush is quite a niche band to begin with. Rewinding over a decade, Natalie Cole’s Unforgettable brought a little more to the table as being digitally mangled re-recorded versions of her father’s songs with her vocals tossed in for good measure. That album was sold disgusting well. Michael Bolton made an entire career off of singing covers; while I sincerely hope nobody reading this column ever spoiled their fragile hearing with any of his abominations, that doesn’t mean that middle aged women everywhere didn’t flail about aimlessly for his tripe.
Yet look at Korn, who covered a couple of songs on their Greatest Hits collection recently released. Hell, look at the vast majority of modern bands who have covered songs, and look at the very few that were ever greeted with a warm reception. Reaching as far as possible, only The Atari’s cover of Don Henley’s “Boys of Summer” and Alien Ant Farm’s fun reproduction of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal” really threw some creativity into their covers and succeeded somewhat well accordingly in airplay and sales.
There seem to be several fundamental differences between the “older set” and its idea of a great album of covers as compared to those less seasoned. Maybe it’s just as simple as the concept altogether: a respected singer whose voice is recognizable and well-liked, singing pretty much anything vs. newer/younger artists who seek to tackle well-crafted tunes without disrespect to the original. I’m still completely dumbfounded as to how the Stewart and McDonald discs were marketed to the point where they rocketed up the charts as high as they did (although one might mention that those in that age bracket would be less adept at pirating, therefore more albums were sold).
Regardless, I can only opine two things: one, Michael McDonald ruined the Doobie Brothers, and whoever let Korn anywhere near a Cameo tune should be shot.
Band Vs. Band: Creed vs. Warrant
Simple concept here, folks: two bands. Lots in common or nothing in common, they’re going to do battle.
Let’s start with Creed, now defunct (in only the strictest of senses, really). The premise? They’re a Christian band. Okay, they’re not a Christian band. They never really said officially that they were a Christian band, although they were on what was once a purely Christian imprint, Wind-Up Records. They sang (sometimes blatantly, sometimes quite veiled) about God. Sometimes, they didn’t sing about God. In the end, what was Creed? Creed was Scott Stapp pretending he wasn’t egotistical enough to have a band called Scott Stapp and The Guys Who Stand Behind Him Somewhere In The Videos. Their first album wasn’t too shabby, but they quickly degenerated into formulaic music forms and radio-friendly everything. Finally, Scott Stapp wigged out and decided he didn’t want his backing band anymore and went solo; his faceless bandmates found a Scott Stapp soundalike and became Alter Bridge, oddly enough, sounding exactly like Creed.
In the other corner, we have Warrant. Fronted by Jani Lane, these guys busted on to the hair metal scene in complete kitschy swing. We’re talking matching jumpsuits, synchronized guitar-slinging and headbanging, lots of stylized pouts and bare-chested pinups. And actually, to call the band “fronted” by Jani Lane is quite the understatement: chief songwriter and big-mouth extraordinare, Jani only managed to keep his band complete for the first few albums before all hell broke loose and band members began scattering like cockroaches in the light. But before their downfall from top-40 grace, Warrant’s songs focused primarily on one subject: women. While some were fooled by the ballad “Heaven,” most of the band’s output was all about sex with women. One look at the video for “Cherry Pie” and one need not spend a whole ounce of brainpower as to what Warrant’s objective was. While Motley Crue may have been more blatant in their day, Warrant seemed to attempt (poorly) to be more slick about their womanizing intentions.
So, we’ve got Jani and Scott: the jerky vocalists who managed to screw up the ongoing successes of their respective bands.
We’ve got Creed using God as their road to record sales, while Warrant was exploiting women for their share of the dough.
Creed isn’t carrying on any longer as Creed, but Scott Stapp is attempting the solo world while his backing band continues as Alter Bridge. Warrant has since reunited after ousting Jani Lane, who will be carrying on… solo.
Different decade, same debaucle.
File Under…
After such positive and resounding feedback from my Totally True Tune Tale about genre, this little educational blurb space will help you get hip to the hip lingo of the complete music nerd universe.
This week: Twee Pop
After mentioning this sub-sub genre in my original article and getting quizzed about its meaning, what better place could there be to begin?
Twee pop is best defined as “bubblegum indie rock,” as my good pals at All Music Guide will concur. I tend to think of Belle & Sebastian first when this category gets brought up, as they might very well be the best-known. Beat Happening and older stuff from The Cardigans also make the cut, along with Shonen Knife and Talulah Gosh (who admittedly I don’t listen to at all). If you’re a super-nerd here: Britain’s Sarah label, or the US K Records label.
Think The Smiths if they made happy, jangly, bouncy songs. Think the ickiest, syrupiest pop from the late ’60s (The Archies, maybe?) and cross-breed them into modern indie culture. It’s super-catchy, full of traditional harmonies and unassuming simplicity. Contrast this with Dream Pop, which tends to be more atmospheric than happy, and your generic Britpop, which isn’t quite as indie-sounding.
Feel free to let your brain hurt for a while after reading that.
My Opinion Matters
Shoot me an email (found easily at the end of this column) and let me know who I should tirade on next. I only promise to be 100% subjective.
Today’s victim: mc chris
I sound like a ten year old, or so I’ve been told
But you don’t need a voice that’s low to make the microphone gold
Others claim that they be Midas but they got laryngitis
So won’t you kick it with the MC with the voice that’s the highest
For those fans of Adult Swim, you might very well have seen the mc chris name pop up extremely often in credits, particularly Sealab 2021 (as mc does the voice of Hesh) and Aqua Teen Hunger Force (as MC Pee Pants, Sir Loin, and others). He’s done numerous things behind the scenes and commercials-wise as well.
Most others who have come across mc chris would be through the song “Fett’s Vette,” widely circulated online and available for free from his website. It’s fair to say that Star Wars fans would never let such a ditty fall between the cracks, and such, it’s almost equally as difficult to find a Star Wars fan who hasn’t enjoyed the song at least once, even if they aren’t aware of who in the hell mc chris is.
Okay. What’s the first thing you hear when you hear mc chris? Why, it’s the obscenely high-pitched voice, that’s what you hear. Behind that, it’s a barrage of “nerdcore” lyrics — if it’s geeky, you’ll find it. LiveJournal, Mario Kart, Fraggle Rock… it’s all there. It’s a combination that one might say only the Internet could love, although mc is setting to record his fourth album and tour next spring, possibly shopping for an actual label. Judging by his accounts of the occasional in-store appearances, it’s possible the guy could actually pull it off.
I’ll admit straight-up that when my boyfriend and his pals started the barrage of mc chris, nonstop, I wanted to rip off my ears. As internet-savvy as I might be, I’m not entirely geeky with my interests, and in fact only saw the original Star Wars trilogy last year. The voice? I prefer my rap to be a little more Nate Dogg, really; still, after repeated listenings, the casio-core beats coupled with the silly vocals and lyrics started to grab my attention. And when I acquired Eating’s Not Cheating, I was notably impressed.
Yes, I get really annoyed when we bust out the karaoke machine and my friends ignore whatever is on the screen and rap mc’s rhymes overtop of everything. And while I do like a lot of his stuff and give him respect as such, I don’t care to hear the same album/songs eight times in a row. That’s not mc’s fault, it’s the fault that he attracts such a nerd audience that they don’t know that normal people aren’t completely fixated like that. Ahhh, but what’s good for mc is good for us all, as the more geeks begin to take over the universe, the closer we all get to fame.
It’s a shame he’s left Cartoon Network, but we’ll live; as long as he keeps dropping records, mc chris ownz.
The Rad Ones
See, I write on this silly website called Inside Pulse, and I’m not the only cool cat here. I got a lot of pluggage out of my system last week, breaking from the TTTT mold, but now I have a solid home for my happy smilingness.
Someone slacked on the Jukebox!. Punk.
I don’t watch the West Wing (or much TV at all), but I’ve had to hear friends whine about its current crapfest that I’m happy to see Mark Polishuk get it all out on the table.
The Star Wars Nerd Express never fails to boggle my mind.
Alex Williams goes on a DDR rant that will interest many of my happy girly friends. Score one for making IP less of a sausagefest.
And finally, if you get bored, come play on the Creative Impulse board over on our forums. It’s absurdist fun.
Outro
Albums spun while writing this:
Oomph! Ego
Scorpions’ Bad For Good: The Very Best Of
Goth Club Classics Vol. 2
Albums acquired today:
Destiny’s Child Destiny Fulfilled
Within Temptation The Silent Force
Madonna Who’s That Girl
Madonna I’m Breathless
Buckethead Funnel Weaver (I love the bucket.)
Derek Sherinian Mythology (I hate the Derek.)
U2 How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb
Dream Theater Infinite Dream: Waldrock 1998
Dream Theater World Turbulence In Seoul 2002
And if someone could please stop by and fix the electrical garbage going on in the dashboard of my car which prevents the stereo from coming on unless the headlights are on, and is making my speakers crackle uncontrollably and rendering my driving experience to be most unpleasant, that would rock.
–gloomchen
