The SmarK RAW Rant – November 8 2004

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The SmarK RAW Rant – November 8, 2004

– Live from Austin, TX.

– Your hosts are JR & King.

– We start right away with HHH and Big Dave in the ring. It’s one of those oddball shows with the hard camera on the other side this week. These crowds are getting scary small. HHH points out that Flair is injured and not here and Batista is VERY angry. Bischoff comes out to respond, but HHH gets roid rage and gets in his face. Bischoff threatens to strip him of the title (Ah, we can dream”¦) and we get the PPV hype. Sidenote: HHH earns a few brownie points with me, because according to the new Observer, he was pushing for WarGames at the PPV, but Vince overruled him because he hates any idea that’s not his, and thought the current stips would be a better idea. Anyway, Bischoff then starts things right away with our first match”¦

– Batista v. Randy Orton. We take a break before we start, and join things with Orton working a wristlock to start. A quick RKO tease puts Batista on the floor, and he heads back in again. Batista wins a lockup battle in the corner, but Orton fires back to kick off a slugfest. Batista wins that battle and chokes him down in the corner. Batista throws a back elbow, but Orton slugs back and Batista bails again. They brawl on the floor, which goes nowhere, and back in Batista gets more forearms in the corner. Yet another slugfest is won by Orton, and a shoulderblock puts Batista on the floor AGAIN. This is getting really tired. Back in, Batista works him over in the corner yet again and now hits the chinlock, and that goes on for a while. Orton finally fights out and it’s more punching and another shoulderblock from Orton. HHH trips him up to prevent the RKO, and Batista uses the LARIAT OF DEATH, but the ref tosses HHH and Batista goes back to choking and stomping. And we take a break. Back with Batista getting a neckbreaker for two. More choking follows, and Batista whips Orton around the ring and gets a delayed suplex for two. Back to the chinlock. Batista tosses him into the post with MUSTARD, and Orton takes a nice bump to the floor to sell it. Back in, that gets two. And back to the chinlock we go. Orton fights out again and sends Batista into the corner, and makes the comeback. Batista blocks and tries a shoulderbreak, but Orton hits him with a dropkick and takes him to the floor with a Cactus clothesline. Orton DDTs him on the floor and throws him back in, then comes back in via the top, only to get foiled by Batista’s fist. They fight on the top and Dave goes down first, as Orton follows with the high cross for two. Orton pounds away in the corner and Batista starts bleeding a little, one of those Lex Luger jobs, and Orton hits him with the backbreaker. RKO is blocked with the MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER, however. Demon bomb is reversed to a sunset flip for two. RKO is blocked again and they collide in the corner, but Orton rolls him up for the pin at 20:00. Hey, a long wrestling match to open the show, what a wacky concept. *** This was good old-fashioned stuff with Orton selling a beating and showing good timing on the comebacks.

– Meanwhile, an irate Batista launches a one-man attack on Team Orton, with rather good results, all things considered.

– Meanwhile, Benoit lets us know that he’s gonna do things to Edge that he doesn’t want his wife and children to see. What, tie him down and make him watch the WB?

– Tyson Tomko v. Shelton Benjamin. God, poor Shelton, having this run of stiffs. Shelton gets a backbreaker for two, but distraction from Christian allows Tomko to get a blockbuster slam and toss Benjamin. To no one’s shock, Christian attacks him on the floor and Tomko gets two. He tosses Benjamin down, who then kips up and takes him down with a clothesline. Russian legsweep gets two. Tomko chokeslams him for two in a move that looked like it was supposed to be Shelton’s Dragon whip kick. He goes up with a flying clothesline, which Tomko basically no-sells, and Shelton misses the Blinger splash. Tomko walks into the Exploder and gets pinned at 3:20, however. Hopefully Shelton can be allowed to have a good match with Christian. 1/2*

– Highlight Reel time, with Trish and Lita. Trish does her usual great heel promo, and Lita does her usual brutal babyface promo. At least she’s perceived at the same level as Trish, unlike joke contenders like Stacy. Snitsky interrupts, with a “baby”, prompting Trish to take her leave. Snitsky, ever the gentleman, punts the baby into the front row (Was it Ike?) and then punks out Jericho, who is dumb enough to get in the way of the PATH OF BABY-KILLING RAGE. I bet if Jericho had a baby, Snitsky would kill it, too. In fact, I bet he’d kill ALL OF YOUR BABIES. That’s just the kind of guy he is. I have no idea if kicking a doll into the crowd is supposed to be heinous, but apparently JR thinks it is.

– Simon Dean comes out for more cheap heat. Same stuff as last week, except even longer and more dull. Very low-rent 80s Dibiase. He’ll get a decent opening match push for a few weeks and then hopefully disappear.

– HHH v. Tajiri. I’m sensing this won’t be a 20:00 match like their Japan tour matches were. In fact, Gene Snitsky lays out Tajiri before we even get started, destroying him on the floor with a press slam onto the railing and a big boot. Having dispensed with the silly notion of having a match, HHH congratulates Snitsky for a job well done, but Gene’s not a team player and in fact warns HHH that he’s coming for the World title once they win. Sadly, HHH has no baby for Snitsky to threaten. Well, I guess the title is kind of his baby. So it’s more of a metaphoric baby-killing that Gene is threatening.

– Chris Benoit v. Edge. Diva Search “winner” Christy does the ring announcing, and is even worse than Lillian in her early days. And that’s saying something. Benoit attacks to start and drops elbows, then chops Edge down and fires off a suplex. Early Sharpshooter attempt, but Edge bails and Benoit chases for more chops. Back in, he tries a crossface and Edge bails again, this time gaining the advantage when they brawl on the floor. Back in, Benoit hammers him and gets a backdrop suplex, but Edge dumps him. A baseball slide puts Benoit on the floor again and Edge stomps him out there, and Edge gets two back in the ring. They slug it out in the corner and Edge bails. Benoit follows and Edge sucker-punches him, then rams him into the apron to take over. Back in, we take a break. Edge works a bodyscissors as we return, and does some pounding on the mat. Edge hits him with a knee to the gut to cut off a comeback, but Evolution interrupts the proceedings. Randy Orton’s team then comes down as Edge gets a spinebuster and drops an elbow to the back. Edge goes up and gets hammered down by Benoit, who brings him back in with a superplex. He makes the comeback and hammers Edge around the ring, then tosses him and catapults him into the stairs as the opposing teams eye each other. Back in, Edge starts bleeding and Benoit takes him down with a Sharpshooter. Edge makes the ropes, so Benoit drops the flying headbutt and gets two. Crossface, but that prompts the cliche Survivor Series brawl at 17:24. Weak ending to a decent match. **1/2

The Inside Pulse:

I am so not hyped at all for Survivor Series, as the matches themselves look particularly weak and the lame “winners run RAW” stipulation doesn’t add much to it for me. Only two weeks of build doesn’t help matters much, either. I’m we’ll get a shocking swerve like Maven joining Evolution or something, but he certainly doesn’t belong with the main eventers, nor does Snitsky yet, which just shows the kind of depth problems they’re having, I guess.

Anyway, two good matches bookended a whole lotta filler this week, but as a hype show for the PPV I think it failed.