Well, this blows. Not only am I trying to get used to new medicines (well, one new medicine and one old one), but I contracted the Mother of All Upper Respiratory Infections on Friday, bad enough to keep me out of work on Monday. That’s fortunate for you, since I was able to do Raw live instead of taped, and wait for Victory Road to download so that I can watch it and give an opinion rather than just look at the booking and say “this sucks”. Plus, the Mailbag! returns thanks to a vociferous response to my micro-column last Wednesday. So let’s get on with it…
THE PIMP SECTION
Lucard gets all gay on us.
Morse applies his Mean to Victory Road. Meanwhile, I’ll do the same, except in a different definition of the word.
Laflin comes to the conclusion that being old sucks. Hit 40 and you realize what that really means. And I have less than three weeks until that happens.
Ditch is back with the Jap shit after missing a week. I won’t say anything due to hypocrisy.
McLoone has the dope on what’s going on inside your coax.
Coogs chimes in, and he is not big, fat, or obnoxious by any sense of the imagination. I presume.
Gloomchen does not need to introduce herself, yet she does so anyway.
Urciuolo was only a day late. Again, hypocrisy prevents me from saying anything.
Goldberg talks college football and movies. Cool.
Norton has the movie news, which this week breaks down to one movie. I watched it while suffering at home on Monday, and it was great. Definitely an improvement over the mawkish and overrated Finding Nemo.
THE ANTI-SPYWARE SECTION
Remember, this all started because the slugs at Enigma Software dared to advertise their piece of shit SpyHunter at 411 (one of the reasons why I decided to leave, honestly). So I’m responding every single column with proper anti-spyware information. And guess what? People are actually taking this to heart. They’re asking me for help if they’re infested, or they’re writing me telling me that their browsing experience is less annoying thanks to the stuff I’ve been putting up here three times a week for a few months now.
(And as I understand it, there are some unscrupulous browser toolbar people trying to advertise here at the Pulse. Well, don’t click on that ad, whatever you do. We’ll still get the money from the impressions, and your system will stay safe.)
Big, big Kudos to the guys at the Spyware Warrior Forum for pointing out to everyone the extent of criminal activity participated in by Enigma Software, makers of the bane of advertising on that site, SpyHunter. Slimeballs extraordinare, aren’t they? And in case you need more info about what flaming bags of shit they are, try here. Suzi’s Blog has a great list of other flaming bags of shit that promote anti-spyware programs that are spyware themselves. Consult it if you have questions.
(On a side note, those SpyHunter ads started over at Reality News Online, and BFM, a contributor there, spotted them. He told the webmaster, gave him those links that I cited above, the webmaster read them, the blood drained out of his face, and he contacted his ad provider. No more ads for Enigma products on RNO, thank you. So guess what? If you provide the info, there are sites who will listen.)
One of the leading vectors for spyware is so-called free programs that contain this shit in order to “pay the bills”. No one deserves that kind of treatment. If you’ve got a question about whether or not a certain program contains spyware, head over here. It’s a nice alphabetized list of programs that do contain spyware and should be avoided at all costs.
Here’s a list of the programs you really need to help you get rid of menaces, and, more importantly, prevent them from occurring in the first place:
Spybot and AdAware. The ONLY two spyware removal tools to trust. Do NOT buy any spyware removal tools, because none of them work better than these two, and all of them except these two are suspect.
SpywareBlaster. Will nuke thousands of different potentially malicious ActiveX controls, and now has the ability to prevent a number of non-ActiveX methods of installing spyware for people who use Mozilla/Firefox.
SpywareGuard. From Javacool, like SpywareBlaster. It’s a real-time scanner for spyware. A decent first line of defense.
IE-SpyAd. Throws numerous ad-related URLs into IE’s Restricted Zone, where they won’t display or affect your system. Bookmark this one, since it’s the only one that doesn’t have an in-program update.
A few people have recommended also installing the Sun Java Virtual Machine, since it’s Windows’ buggy, half-assed implementation of the JVM that allows a lot of spyware to install (less so within the past month and a half than before). I STRONGLY recommend that you visit here and update your version of Java.
So many people have asked about a free anti-virus program that I’m also going to recommend AVG. Totally free, and works really, really well, as well as commercial anti-virus programs. Frequent database updates, good heuristic detection, everything you want in an anti-virus package.
Another program that I’d like to add here is a little tough to work with for noobs if it goes buggy (you need to know a little something about your Networking settings in order to debug if something should go wrong). Protowall is a supplement to your firewall or NAT system. It hooks directly into XP’s networking system to block any and all traffic that comes from URLs on a list maintained by the program (all protocols, not just TCP/UDP). It’s mainly designed for anti-P2P purposes (which will appeal to a great many of my readers), but it contains lists to block spyware and ads. Its blocklist can easily be updated using its supplementary program, Blocklist Manager. I have Protowall running and a Blocklist Manager icon on my desktop, and I use Blocklist Manager to update the blocklist every couple of days. You will have problems getting to some sites unless you shut down Protowall temporarily, like ESPN or Sports Illustrated, but it does have a tray icon you can right-click and shut down in a few seconds. It’s the third layer of anti-ad material for me, with IE-SpyAd and AdSubtract running alongside it. Warning, though: it only works with XP. I’d recommend its predecessor, Peer Guardian, for other MS OSes, but it isn’t being developed anymore, and there were still bugs in it when development stopped. You can get Protowall and the Blocklist Manager (which will also work with Peer Guardian) at Bluetack’s site.
Of course, only download them from the links provided above. And only download those programs; don’t fall for the ads that are shown at various websites.
With AdAware and Spybot, check for updates using their internal update function at least once a week. Run them at least once a week or whenever you think you might have problems. Remember, the new version of Spybot has browser protection capabilities, so have that run at startup and leave it running. Check for updates to SpywareBlaster once a week. It only needs to be run once initially in order to establish protection. Then, after it downloads updates, just click on the line that says “Enable Protection For All Unprotected Items” and kill it. It doesn’t need to be active. For IE-SpyAd, bookmark the site and check for updates twice a week, since it has no kind of internal updater. Since all it does is add Registry entries, it doesn’t eat up anything. Run the Blocklist Manager every couple of days to make sure that you keep up on the latest banned URLs.
If you’re having trouble with spyware or a browser hijacker, or think that you do, head over to the SpywareInfo Forums, where the pros there can help you diagnose and get rid of stuff. I was promoted to Full Helper status there and ended up joining ASAP, the Alliance of Security Analysis Professionals. Look for their symbol.
The Ravin’ Cajun asks me to recommend a good client-side spam filter for MS mail programs running under Windows. Now, this is something I don’t have experience with because my ISPs have always had good spam filtering, plus, I use Thunderbird, which handles the remainder quite nicely, thank you. Some readers wrote in and recommended SpamBayes, which is totally free and supposedly works very well, so I’ll add it on to the anti-annoyance list that we’re building up here.
Now that it’s moved to a release candidate status, I feel good in recommending Firefox as an alternative to IE. Go grab a copy and see what you’re missing.
THOUGHTS (AND SCREEN CAPS) ON VICTORY ROAD
I’ll join in with the kudos for the Royal Rumb…opening X Division Battle Royal. Dumb ending, but the right guy won and the dead spots were kept to a minimum. After this one, I’m not sure if there’s any way to avoid me and Fleabag meeting in a cage for an “I Want Hector Garza’s Children” match. That should prove to Hector that he has more than Hispanic fans out there. Or, just in case Hector’s reading this, “Usted tener partidario hacia fuera allàcon excepción uno quien ser hispanico”
La Parka! La Parka! La Parka!
Hell, why not some more La Parka?
Six men in and no one out. Take that, Royal Rumble!
You think I’m not going to post a cap of Hector Garza and La Parka teaming up, even if it is against Sonjay Dutt?
Well, La Parka got eliminated, so no more caps of him
Sonny Siaki prepares to eliminate both D-Ray and Shark Boy. Boo!
When Shawn Michaels Proteges Collide: Michael Shane and Spanky go at it
Prepping for the Tower Suplex. I love this spot.
The old Chicago story of Puerto Ricans versus Mexicans: Amazing Red and Psychosis
The final three: Hector Garza, Frankie Kazarian, and Chris Sabin
I feel sorry for Killings and Saint Irish Pat Simon Kenney Diamond. I care about these guys, but the other six in the match, especially Mero, made me set phasers on “Ignore”, so much so that I didn’t even bother to do a cap of the match, just an entrance. Honestly, if they don’t have any plans for Killings right now with the rest of 3LK holding the tag straps, turn him heel, replace him with Billy Bitchcakes, send him to the X Division, and have him feud with Styles. That’d at least get him to avoid eight-man tags.
Mero needs to grow the porn mustache back
Sorry, people, I don’t do midget matches. It’s like recapping gay porn.
Mascarita Sagrada breaks one out on Piratita Morgan
If anything, recapping a 3 Live Kru match, especially one where they win the tag titles, is worse than recapping gay porn. See above for what I think should be done about them. Then add “defenestration” to the list.
Eric Young tries to get one over on Road Dogg, to no avail
Skipped the Piper segment, because Fleabag would never forgive me if I didn’t. Who cares about passing of to
rches or healing old wounds? One thing%2
C though: Piper proved he’s at the summit of Mount Perpetually Over, and working face mode verified it.
Skipped the segment, but got the screen cap
If Trinity wasn’t happy with her opponent, we sure as hell weren’t either. So join the club, Trin. And Tenay had to bring up the whole Cruiserweight Title thing. You think he’d have a little bit of mercy on WWE watchers.
Jackie the way we like to see her: her face covered
Monster’s Ball: hated the movie, hated the match. But I still love Monty Brown. Glad he was booked for the win.
Abyss realigns Raven’s chakras
A. J. versus Petey for the X Division strap…now I’m there. Fast-paced, few blown spots, very little D’Amoron, and the best set-up for the Canadian Destroyer that I’ve seen. Great, great match. A little short, but a great match nonetheless.
Petey Williams should know that you can’t suplex A. J. Styles
A. J. doing what he does best: flying out of the ring
I’ll chime in with the rest of the IWC and proclaim the AMW/XXX match a disappointment. Of course, we’ve seen these guys pull out so many classics that a dud match had to be expected. Even Flair/Steamboat had its off nights, and they’ve got such a track record that I’ll forgive them this. But the timing was bad. An episode of Impact, fine, but not the first major PPV that the company has. Try to improve the timing and try again on December 6th inside the cage.
Skipper tries to get the pin after a double-team piledriver
Skipped the main event, not only because of time considerations, but mostly out of total disgust that Jeffykins is in another world title match. Dear God, what do people see in this guy? I don’t mean fifteen-year-old creeps from Connecticut, I mean wrestling marks all over the world. The best reaction to him would be to ignore his existence, which is what I’m doing.
Jeffykins prepares to drop-kick Jarrett from the ladder
Nash needs to grow the facial hair back too
ENOUGH ABOUT FIRINGS, HOW ABOUT A WWE HIRING?
From Big Johnson over at 1bullshit Junior:
WWE has hired a new Managing Editor for the WWE creative team in Tom Chehak. He’s a writer/director/producer who has worked mostly on television projects including Pamela Anderson’s VIP, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., Alien Nation and WKRP in Cincinnati…Stephanie McMahon is said to consider Chehak her new “right hand man” in the company.
Oh, good luck, buddy. You’re going to need it. Apparently, he’s unaware of the true situation going on here, which any wrestling smark could have clued him in on. The moment he dares suggest something that Trip doesn’t agree with, his ass is out. However, he might have a chance. If he worked successfully with the Ultimate Diva, Pamela Anderson, handling Trip might be a walk in the park. I give him six months.
AS IF HOGAN, SAVAGE, MERO, HALL, AND NASH WEREN’T ENOUGH…
Da Meltz is reporting that Diamond Dallas Page will be making his TNA debut at the tapings tonight. Jarrett really is trying to turn TNA into WCW circa 1997, isn’t he? We already went through this shit once. Why do we have to go through this again?
Because it’s there, just like when there’s a Raw, there’s a Short Form…
THE SHORT FORM
Match Results:
Randy Orton over Dave Batista (Pinfall, rollup): This match was a testimony to the maturity of Orton and Batista. A couple of months ago, they couldn’t have pulled off a twenty-five minute opener (and very few on the roster can). The fact that they could, and it was a decent match to boot, is a sign for kudos for both. This wasn’t really their coming-out party, but in a smark sense, it was close to being so. Congrats to both for a great match.
Shelton Benjamin over The Corporate Name I Can’t Type Due To Conflict-Of-Interest Laws Tomko, Non-Title Match (Pinfall, T-bone suplex): Oh, yippie, an angle enhancement match. Fortunately, Christian’s interference was kept to a relatively low level, and the match itself was inoffensive.
Chris Benoit over Edge (DQ, Trip-ference): Until the SurSer-promotion schmozz at the end, this was a great match. Oh, well, too bad for all of us, I guess.
Angle Developments:
Face Turn?: Snitsky’s “kick the baby” routine was hilarious. That’s what Raw needs right now, lots and lots of child abuse.
Or Just Abuse In General…: As someone who’s the same weight now as when he got out of the Army almost thirteen years ago, I detest people who can’t maintain their weight. Thus, I’m getting off on the Simon Dean promos. The fat chick in Austin was a great example of it, and it had a good ending payoff to boot. Congrats to Bucci for finally being able to break away from Nova once and for all.
I’m not the only one who feels this way. Check out what The Joe In Me said:
The other angle/character I am immensely enjoying is the Simon Dean character, but, I imagine, probably not for the reasons WWE would
think. I love it because I’m so sick and tired of seeing all these morbidly obese people waddling around the country, and because of this
political correctness craze over the past decade or so, the morbidly obese are really the only people we have to make fun of anymore, and
they’re the ones who really deserve it. “I don’t like being outdoors. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.” – C. Montgomery Burns.
All these people just sit around and do nothing all the time, and put on pounds and pounds of girth, if they’d just go out and do something
with themselves, they wouldn’t be so fat and we wouldn’t have anyone else to laugh at. But seriously, when weight-loss programs become
tax-deductible (as it was announced earlier this year), you know the obesity in this country is getting totally out of hand. Maybe some
low-brow public humiliation by the WWE will be what it takes for this problem to be solved.
MAILBAG!
All about my little missive last Wednesday, which prompted more response per capita than any column I’ve ever done (you can’t beat over a mail a word, and this approached three or four mails a word).
First of all, thanks to Doctor Kevin McHugh, who provided some commentary regarding toxicology as per the TBS/Angle dart gun situation. He provided a job notice in Manitoba which was already filled. However, the same search agency (one that I’ve never used before, surprisingly) had a similar notice for New Brunswick that I just put in for, and I sent them my resume. I hope to hear back from them soon, even if it’s to head to the Maritimes.
Moving to Canada actually was a recurring theme in the bunch of mails:
i like your entry…but i hate it at the same time. I wish you didnt have to write such a thing. 4 more years of this…I am so upset. I am thinking of moving to Canada, you think Scott Keith wants a roommate? – Bob Reynolds
Lots and lots of people that I work with are extreme bush supporters, and they seem to see nothing wrong with him. One in particular has 3 daughters, all teenagers and I asked about how he feels about abortion, He said he is against it except in the case of rape. I laughed and said have fun with your girls when they get knocked up and cant abort. He wasn’t happy, but he knew it was the truth.
Can we all move to Canada, I think Netcop has a spare room for us…. – Drew Schwartz
I couldn’t agree more… How easy is it to expatriate? Canada’s looking better and better, even if it does mean I’m that much closer to Scooter… – Michael Stump
I have it on good authority that Scooter does not need a roommate or wants one at this moment and has no spare room, so that idea’s out. However, I’m using his ass as a reference for the Canadian equivalent of a green card.
Even people not from America are considering moving to Canada:
Australia died 2 months earlier when Georgie’s bum-buddy Johnny won the re-election here.
Sigh.
What’s the chance of moving to Canada? – Steven Gepp
Thanks to Serge Levesque (no relation, I presume…sorry, KC…), here is the site where you can get more information about emigrating to Canada and obtaining a green card.
(And Memo to Serge: I’ve always believed that the Borg Queen is created by the Collective as need be as a sort of operating system for the Collective. Maybe members of Species 125 are the most efficient at being Queens, since both of the Borg Queens we’ve seen have been members of that species. As for the whole Enterprise before TOS thing, Braga deserves death. And as all Voyager fans know, NX-01 should be called “Dauntless”. So f*ck Braga, his ass is out anyway.)
In general, the comments were generally positive and understanding. Here’s some of the best:
We are so f*cking screwed. – Mumbles895
I agree completely. – Charles Mayo
Can you believe that there are that many stupid Americans? – Cathy71253
If we get the government we deserve what the hell did we do to deserve this mess? – John Hinsz
The central irony to me is this. I live in a heavily populated area, one that has been attacked by terrorists and one that, if terrorists were to attack again, would be a more than likely target. This election was widely perceived to be about who would fight a more effective war on terror. We here in New York thought Kerry would do a better job. So did most, if not all, centers of heavy population in the country. My god, you can just look at any county by county electoral map and figure out where the cities are in any state. Anyone who’s likely to get hit asked for Kerry to be the guy in charge. And we got over-ruled by…well….YOUR county, and others like it. Counties that have much less risk of ever bearing the weight of a terrorist attack.
I go to Jersey City quite often to work in a cabinet maker’s shop (we actors have to eat even when we’re not working) and the train to New Jersey has one of it’s terminals at the World Trade Center site. The passage from subway to the commuter train is open and doubles as a observation point for the hole in the ground. Tourists are there almost every day, asking me directions to what can only be described as the most obvious landmark in the city. “Which two acre hole in the ground were you looking for again?” I smile and give them directions, let them know when to get off the subway, sometimes walk them over to the site. I spare them my customary chilly sarcasm, because the response to hate is kindness, in most cases, and that was an act of great hate, so I try to be kind. Now I wonder. Have these people traveled from miles around to morbidly pick at the bones of my city’s greatest tragedy, have their pictures taken, buy the bloody f*cking souvenir program, only to return to their relatively secure exurban gated community more fervently devoted to supporting the one man I DON’T want responsible for my city in a crisis? Have I opened my heart to these people, showed them the site of the great disaster, only to stoke the fires of blind faith conservatives?
I look at the electoral maps and wonder. It’s not just that I can’t fathom way the people from rural areas – many poor, many working poor – would vote for the party that harms them the most economically. Or in the case of the rural West, the party that harms them most environmentally. What I can’t fathom is why Jethro and Missy and the Toby Keith fans of the world get to decide who’s going to protect those most in danger when they are, by comparison, completely safe? Yeah, one of them might be on a plane, but what the f*ck – people who live in cities fly more frequently as well, so the point still holds. I look at the electoral map and I get depressed about the growing gulf in this country over not just Democrats and Republicans, but about the gulf people who come together in concentrated areas to question, study, achieve and think and people who remain apart and are content to believe. There may be three percent more of them, but it doesn’t make them right.
I hope f*cking W listens very closely to the oath of office when he’s being sworn in. He doesn’t take an oath to protect the country. He takes an oath to protect the Constitution. I hope even he is bright enough to know the difference. – Regular Sean Fri, doing the great job as usual on commentary. Well said.
Mainly, I just sent the email to make sure you’re still alive. Mainly because I have a mental image of you slumped over a desk, a frothy
stream of vomit seeping out the corner of your mouth, an empty bottle of pills by your hands, and the phone cradled between your shoulder
and ear, with Flea on the other end frantically yelling, “Eric?! ERIC?!”.
Hmm…compared to four mour years, that doesn’t sound so bad. – Michael Murtha, who started the suicide thread over at Wienerboard
No, despite having the pills to do so, especially one incredible supply of Klonopin, I didn’t kill myself. Dubbaya isn’t worth it.
The two things that saddened me the most was first that this country is seemingly going in the same direction we’re supposed to be fighting against, a religious fundamentalist country. The second thing was that the youth didn’t seem to vote. Now I’m not a fan of P. Diddy, but considering the stakes, especially the ones facing them(abortion rights and the draft) and the fact that my young brethren didn’t vote I will definitely help him out in killing the bastards. Like you said may God have mercy on our souls, because the beliefs that the middle of the country think represent God certainly won’t. – Semi-Regular Chris Arrington
New idea for the plaque on the Statue of Liberty: “Give us your stupid, your rednecks, your easily manipulated sheep. We can’t seem to get enough of them.” – Semi-Regular Jason MIS. And I am proud of Illinois and Chicago for the Obama selection. Of course, that one was handed to them on a silver platter after Jack Ryan imploded.
I’ve felt sick since Florida went to Bush. God save America. – Enrique Petralis
I cannot believe we lost Colorado. I took so much time out of my busy college and work schedule to campaign for Kerry, waited in line for 3 and a half hours to vote for Kerry and it was all for nothing. Why are people so stupid? Don’t they realize that destroying the budget and getting bogged down in this awful war is more important than men who hump each other getting married. I regret immigrating to America, maybe I should have stayed in Ukraine after all. Plato was right in “The Republic,” democracy is the fourth worst system of governemnt, only better than despotism (which is where we are moving with the Republican domination). Until philosphers can be rulers, there shall be no justice in America. – Alexey Bogatiryov
as a person from the netherlands i must say that i really feel your pain man,itá´s unf*ckingreal that your country contains such a high rate of morons. i am so pissed off about this and i wish u good luck with another 4 years of the á¨Juntaᨠbah,f*cking morons…good luck and eh..f*ck bush – Sebastiaan van Lieshout
I never visited Rotterdam when I was over there, Sebastiaan, but Amsterdam was terrific. I love your country. God save the Queen. And speaking of Amsterdam…
As a European that loves the United States, but HATES George W. Bitch I can only agree with your words – Thijs Schrik, from Amsterdam
Eh, it may not mean much to you now that the antichrist got elected to a SECOND term, but I just wanted to let you know that I earned a whole new level of respect for ya after today. I was expecting one of two things: you to completely destroy Bush as only you can in a Stephanie McMahon-inspired rant, or to fly up to the White House and beat on all involved. Instead, you showed remarkable poise in your post there (funny as Hell), so I commend you. May not mean much, but hey, I was a registered Republican, and you convinced me to vote Kerry and for a lot of democrats in my state (sorry, no way I was voting for Erskine Bowles in NC though), so you can take some solace in the fact that you managed to convince quite a few redneck hicks and rubes that Bush is Evil and Kerry was on the good side of the force.
Look on the bright side: Illinois has a pretty popular senator, or so I hear, and he’s with the Demos. Do you really think Dick Cheney has a chance in 2008 against Obama (sp?) or even Edwards? Guess we start watching the calendars again, huh? – Chris Smith
Chris, thanks for the support. Actually, Illinois has two popular Demo senators, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Dick Durbin on the ticket in 2008 (Obama needs some seasoning first). Mad Dog’s too old to run for the big one then, and it’ll be a dogfight on the GOP side with a lot of religious freaks gaining a great deal of primary support. It’s going to be wide open unless it’s McCain. Actually, I’m anticipating McCain/Hitlary, which is probably the only combination that will make me vote GOP, unless I’m living in Canada.
The most disgusting thing to me, at least, about this election is not a suspicion that Bush/Rove could have gotten together and cheated. You can’t cheat your way into a four million popular vote lead and not get caught. No, the thing that most disturbs me is the apparent inherent stupidity of the American voter. For four years we’ve had to put up with a man who thinks roads, schools, and even the military can be paid for out of nothing, and so cuts the taxes on the rich to such an absurd degree that even some rich people are saying maybe they’ve had enough “relief.” It’s a president who believes that the best way to help the “moral fabric” of this country is to systematically erase fifty years of social progress in eight. And finally, a man so obssessed with eradicating what he believes is evil that he will pin down our military in places that pose absolutely no threat to us with no evidence of said threat. And, of course, when publically proven wrong, a man without the humility and/or courage to just come out and admit that he was wrong.
And the scariest thing of all, is that now Bush has no reason to act in such a “moderate” way. This man has absolutely no checks and balances, with an impeachment by a Republican congress unthinkable, and he has no incentive to worry about what he does because he won’t be running for reelection. And the American people ignored all of this. They heard the word “terrorism” and immediately ran to Mother Bush like he DIDN’T ignore all the terrorist warnings, like he WASN’T actively ignoring terrorism-fighting reform before the attacks. They’re worse then sheep, because it’s a sheep’s instinct to follow blindly. Human beings, those that live in the best and most free country in the world, are supposed to be better. They’re supposed to be able to think. And when they vote for a moron like the President, I wholeheartedly hope they get what they deserve. I hope they get the real President Bush, because I’ve got two things going for me over them other then a brain; a “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Kerry” t-shirt, and a British passport. I have a way out, do you, you stupid motherf*ckers? – David Quagliano
I truly believe that Bush won the election because of the gay marriage thing. All these yokels said they voted for him because of moral values. They consider gay marriage to be a moral issue. It’s ridiculous, because he never will get a constitutional amendment for this. But just his mentioning it stuck in these people’s minds and they forgot what a disaster the last 4 years have been. It’s really scary how closed minded and stupid these people are. Two women I work with think that Kerry wants to CLONE people. That’s what they think stem cell research is. Meanwhile, my mom with MS will just have to wait.
Jon Stewart made a good point last night. All these people in America’s heartland want Bush to protect them from terrorists and gay married people, yet New York City, which has plenty of gay people and a reason to fear terrorism, voted for Kerry. He said the red states are able to ‘step back’ and view the situation from afar.
I really am frightened for us all. Bush says he now has ‘capital’ and will now aggressively pursue his agenda. How much more aggressive could he be? – Frank Baldwin
A lot of people have been saying that it’s the social issues, especially gay marriage and abortion, that brought the right-wing yahoos to the polls in the first place (my fascist bud John King said the same, and I trust him on the issue of right-wing yahoos). I talked about this with Fleabag, and he and I agree that this probably wasn’t the case. I think we can firmly chalk this one up to the stupidity of the American public.
I could have lived with George W. if the Democrats had regained control of the Senate to keep some kind of check and balance on the Prez. But losing FIVE DAMN SEATS! I’m especially embarrassed that the Bible Belt lemmings (feel free to use that when discussing Southern politics and attitudes) in my home state and its two immediate neighbors are three of the five red marks that fell into the trap. And what the hell did Tom Daschle do to alienate South Friggin’ Dakotans?
A request…please stop using the term GOP. There is nothing Grand about the Republican Party, and hasn’t been since at least before Nixon. Well, I’m only 32, so I’m probably not qualified to talk about anything before Ronnie. – Jim Carson
I don’t think I’ll use the term “Bible Belt lemmings”. It’s an insult to the lemmings out there who might be reading.
This is the first time I’ve sent feedback to an internet column (I’ve always resisted since I already have a pretty good ability to time waste as it is), despite the fact that I’ve been reading your columns here and back at 411 for a couple of years now. I don’t always agree with everything but most of the time I do, and I always find them entertaining. Plus you’re an American who knows about the existence of the rest of the world, including premiership football, which is always a pleasant surprise.
Anyway, I guess you’re not in the best of moods right now, so I just wanted to say that the rest of the world is with you on this one. We just look at the election and think WTF, there’s really 50million people in america who don’t know their arse from their mouth? (is that why some are so scared of gay marriage?)
But perhaps there’s a tiny bit of a silver lining here. They have the senate, they have the house of representatives, they have the whitehouse, they have the popular vote, they have their war(s) and they have their warnings that 9/11 would have happened again under Kerry. Who the hell have they got left to blame when it all goes tit over arse? The democrats have had little power for the last 4 years (I think) so they can’t blame them or their legacy, so maybe, just maybe some of those 50m will finally wake up. – Phil Spracklan
Of course, there were some people who decided to troll…
Are you honestly f*cking kidding me with that shit? What the f*ck of a stupid ass bleading heart liberal asshole statement is that? And your a f*cking serviceman of all things, you should seriously be ashamed of yourself. Your country choose this president, you dont like get your f*cking piece of shit car packed and take your communist ass up to canada. – M. Franciosi
And as you can tell, I’m planning on doing so if the money’s right. Also, please spell “overdramatic” correctly if you want to make a point with me in the future.
Take a valium. – Alain Virgin
When I have Valium’s bigger, badder cousin Klonopin? Why downgrade?
Drama Queen? – Craig Reade
You know it, sweetie darling.
I’ve been waiting for this presidential election for so long now, just to rub it your face, dickwad.
Fuck you. Wallow in shit.
Your own candidate came on TV today and sobbed and begged you to try and work with ‘the other side’. Maybe you should give that a shot
instead of being a bitter, spoiled cumrag.
Have a great day. Maybe you could talk about wrestling for once, you know, being on a wrestling site and everything. If not, go have a
good cry in Michael Moore’s bosom. – M. D. Vega
I already bought Fahrenheit 911. Does that count?
Please shut up. America isn’t dead. Some thought Watergate would kill it. Some thought FDR’s New Deal. Some thought the Depression.
Lincoln’s election almost did the job.
Just because the Democrats lost doesn’t mean anything in the long run. And contrary to what you think, this isn’t any more special just
because you’re alive for it. There have been more dangerous moments in the past and there will be more dangerous moments in the future.
Don’t be dramatic.
Remember: In four years there will be a Republican saying the exact same thing. Or at least a younger Democrat thinking he’s being
original.
Now get off your high horse, take a breather, then get back in the saddle and keep writing. – Ben Musto
Okay, this wasn’t a troll, but it’s the type of good negative comment that I enjoy printing.
And to close, 411’s own Canadian Destroyer, Dave Gagnon…
AMEN. What a great way to react towards this….I can’t even find the words. I cannot understand how so many people voted for that buffoon who attacked Iraq because of these elusive WMDs, managed to lose hundreds of tons of explosives, lied his way to a war that wasn’t necessary.
It’s in times like these that I am proud to be Canadian. Recently, they polled canadian citizens about the upcoming election. 81% of them would have voted for Kerry. The voice of reason.
I’m pissed off, frustrated and I don’t even live in the US so I can’t even imagine how angry you must be. I’ll say a prayer for each and every one of you tonight, I swear.
And that closes this column. Tomorrow, I’ll discuss more shit. Maybe the cold will be better by then.
