The Weekly Pulse: The Gatekeepers Guide to Movies
Phoning it in for you my second week on the job!
Quickie Intro
Hi everyone, and welcome to the second edition of the Weekly Pulse for all your movie needs here at Inside Pulse. As you can see, I managed to impress the brass here enough to keep this gig, and I’m thrilled to keep bringing you all your movie desires in one easy to spot location. Also, I finally decided on the title, but I’m still lacking in the witty teaser department. Any suggestions, feel free to send them my way.
I’m not going to spend much time on anything but the essentials this week. Why, you ask? Well, this little gem of a game called Halo 2 fell out of the sky and into my lap, and I’ve barely been able to concentrate on anything else since Tuesday. I know, I know, this is a movies column, but come on, $125 million in sales the first day, so SOMEONE reading this has the game too. Tell you what, I’ll even work it into the column somehow, okay? Fair compromise? Okay then, lets do this.
News You Can Use, and I Abuse
The Simpsons Movie Delayed Until 2008
The Simpsons Movie, which has been talked about for years, seemed to finally have legs when it was announced for a 2006 holiday release. Now, however, it has been pushed back to 2008 at the earliest. Producer Al Jean wants quality in the movie and in the current show, so he has opted to wait.
Well, what can you say here, really? It’s disappointing for fans, sure, but at least we can take comfort in knowing they don’t want to put crap on the screen and stiff us for it. I know a lot of people complain that The Simpsons suck now and are a shadow of what they used to be. Personally, I think that is half true. They aren’t as good as they were, but they are by no means bad. I still think it’s a solid, at times hilarious show, and it is still one of my favorite on tv. 2008 IS a long way off, though. That would also mark the 20th season of the show, should it run that long. I can see the marketing machine on that one already.
Even More James Bond News!
This week, it was revealed that Pierce Brosnan was a bit angry with the way he was shown to the door in regards to Bond 21. Also, Collin Farrell has told the world he has no interest in being Bond, and rumors surfaced that Ewan Mcgregor is also in talks to star in the next film.
Also, Martin Campbell is in negotiations to direct the film. He directed the smash hit Goldeneye which revived the franchise.
Yawn. Apparently, Pierce was ANGRY about getting shafted on Bond 21. Well, gee, I wonder if that was because he couldn’t decide if he wanted it or not, and then when he did, they said no thanks. Who knows how long their back and forth went on and when it actually ended. Brosnan had a good thing going and HE threw it away, period. Unless the Tarantino Bond flick sees the light of day (and who knows with Tarantino) it is over for Brosnan as Bond, and he needs to move on already.
It’s a good move to bring in Campbell, considering the success that was Goldeneye. It makes sense with the move in a new direction and all. And you have to love the sweet, sweet irony of the fact that the new script is said to be EXACTLY what Brosnan said the franchise needed: Story and characters over effects and visuals. If Campbell repeats his success here, expect Brosnan to kick himself in the tail for a little while.
And as for Colin Farell, well, good for him. He’s a solid actor with a lot going on in the ‘Wood, and he knows if Bond is good for him or not, and apparently its not. And Obi Wan? Eh, he might do the tux justice, but I still say give it to Wolverine.
Portman’s Nude Scenes Removed From Upcoming Film
Natalie Portman’s nude scenes from the upcoming Closer have been cut by the director. Apparently, he thought the footage was unnecessary for the film, and is also very protective of Portman.
If you listened closely, you could hear the cries of anguish of thousands of men when this was announced. Kinda sad, actually, and kind of odd. Portman agreed to do the scenes for the film because they were right for her character, and an over-protective director cuts them? I could see if the director was her father or something, but otherwise this is a headscratcher. I would understand if he wanted to make his film better and such, but then the whole protective thing was mentioned and everything was tossed up in the air. As it stands, no mention of whether or not her topless scenes will remain in, or if the deleted scenes will be on a version of a DVD in the future (Although you guys can hope, right?)
Star Wars and Chocolate Factory Pictures
Starwars.com updated their site this week with pictures and bios of most of the main crew of the upcoming Episode Three. Also, promotional images from Tim Burton’s Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory were also released to the internet.
Being the mild Star Wars fan I am, I must admit that the pictures really didn’t do anything for me. I loved the trailer, but the pics just seemed kind of….blah to me, following that kind of awesome-ness. Of course, I’m no authority on it, so I went and got you THE man for all things Star Wars, Brendan Campbell, and he was happy to share his thoughts.
“I don’t want to see the pictures, as I shy away from spoilers. Some guy named George Lucas already ruined the fact that Anakin becomes Darth Vader…if you’re reading this, thanks a lot George.”
Yeah…..that Brendan, what a fanboy. Thanks Brendan!
As for Wonka, I admit that I am interested yet hesitant to get very excited about this. Burton has some unique ways of doing things (Planet of the Apes comes to mind), and I loved the original. Of course, Depp is amazing in most of his work, and he is the one I’d want in the lead with Burton directing. The pictures look promising, but I’ll wait and see a little longer.
Baywatch to the Big Screen
DreamWorks will produce a Baywatch movie for the big screen. No word if original cast members from the show will be involved.
Yawn. Moving on…
More Reviews Than You Can….Err…Point a Thumb At?
(Yeah, someone help me out here, I’m looking for a good title lead in)
We review films, and give you the Pulse so you can choose wisely which moive will get your hard earned eight (ten in some places) dollars. Here’s a rundown of the reviews posted this week.
The Incredibles – It’s the biggest movie in America. It raked in an amazing $70 million on its first weekend (at least). I found it downright awesome and I think Pixar has a run-away hit on its hands (again). But what is the official Pulse take on it? Well, Jon Bieda was all over it, and his review is up here.
Sideways – Realistic characters, believeable plot, and overall thought provoking? You better believe it, and check out Ryan Closs’ review here.
Alfie – I saw this flick, and so did Matt Ravas. Turns out he shares most of my thoughts on it too. Check his carefree review out here.
Shark Tale – Sure it’s been out for a while now, but what is the Pulse on it? I debated seeing it but ultimately skipped it for some other films. Good idea on my part? You’d have to ask Arturo R. Garcia, as he checks in with his review here
On DVD
Oh yeah, we do DVDs too!
The Clearing – I was wondering why I never heard of this thriller, and it turns out it was released in the summer, with ogres and superheros. Is it any good? Well, depends on how fast you like your psychological-ness, and Brendan Campbell has covered what you need to know here.
Baadasssss! – Michaelangelo McCullar reviews the movie about the making of the movie that ushered in the Blaxplotation era. It’s pretty good, too. Check it out review Nothing more, nothing less.
We Even Do Columns!
Oh, the great lengths we go to for you people. We’ve got some great original content in weekly columns, and some really talented writers. As time goes by and you get to know them, you’ll see what I mean. Here’s what they did this week.
Jon Bieda returns for the second round of Movie vs. Film, and this week he pits….Kill Bill vs. Kill Bill? How about that. Volume 1 versus Volume 2 here, and which one earns the classification of “film” and which is just another “movie”? Well, you’ll just have to read his work to find out!
J. Kern is back! He is here to let you know what movies are and aren’t worth your hard earned dollar. This week, he sits through Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid to measure its worth. Click here to check it out.
More thrilling cult cinema this week with the big guy himself, Godzilla! Oh, and some other stuff too. Brad Torreano has all the cult info you could want a click away.
Robert Sutton returns with R0btain’s Badass Cinema, and I am still pondering what is up with that zero, Rob. This week, he delves into the vigilante cop justice goodness with his in-depth look at Hard Boiled Check it out here.
Want to read about a perfect flick? Check out week two of Michaelangelo McCullar’s The Perfect Flick. (I agree about gloomchen, but where the hell is the WP in the pimp section McCullar?? Even Eric S pimped me!(Another IWC fan markout moment, too) Anyway, this week, he explains why The Way of the Gun deserves so much more than bombing at the box office. Check him out.
Star Wars fanboy and all around hard worker Brendan Campbell is all over the joint again this week. First, we have his Ricidulously Good Looking Movie Column where he throws his hat in the James Bond mix, discusses movie sequels (Inspired by yours truly) and more. Also, he has a special edition of RGLMC up, where he discusses the Star Wars Holiday Special. Yes, even to a fanboy, it still sucks. Finally, he reviews the weekend box office and it was, of course, nothing short of incredible.
Norty’s Brief Rant: Halo 2
Originally, this rant space was going to be dedicated to Jude Law, but I’m pushing that back for now (And there’s still plenty of movies left to come out where it would be relevant). No, today I want to talk about something only hinted at in movie world. Something that has downright destroyed every record held in sales in the entertainment industry. I want to briefly discuss Halo 2.
Halo 2 made $125 million dollars in one day. ONE DAY. No film, including Spiderman, Shrek, Lord of the Rings, NOTHING has come close to that kind of gross in one day. Ever. And I don’t know if it ever will. I’m sure you’re saying to yourself right now, “Keep it in the video game section.” Or you may be asking, “What’s this got to do with film?” Well, it’s simple. Given the money this game made, major media outlets have covered the story, and rumors are starting to appear (and not just in message boards) that Halo 2 movie rights could be snatched up some time very, very soon.
This should never happen. Ever.
One of the great things about Halo is the universe that has been created around the game. There are even three novels about it. It is a game that prides itself on telling its story almost as much as its gameplay elements. I see no reason at all why this should be made into a film. What could be done with it? Unless the creators do to it what they did with the novels, the venture would be pointless. Not to mention the fact that I cannot think of a single great movie based on a video game, and barely any good ones (the closest exception being the first Mortal Kombat.) The potential for the bad here is just too much to think about. And it would take far too many things to make it a good film.
I’m not saying they will make a Halo movie. All I’m saying is that, given the crazy cash made from the game, the option is definitely out there for film makers. I am a Halo fan, but I am also a movie fan. Coming from both perspectives, all I can do is hope that this game stays in the realm that it belongs in.
Of course, that’s just my opinion, and I could be wrong.
That wraps up week two of the Weekly Pulse. As usual, feedback is welcome and encouraged (Something besides viruses would be nice) and I’ll be back next week to satisfy that movie sweet tooth all you crazy kids have. Until then, go out, enjoy some of the great movies playing, and then come back home to the greatest game to come out this year ^_^
