Yea…I think Chyna had balls…at least one.
For those of you who read My Blog you would know that I am leaving for South Carolina to go see some good ol’ NASCAR this weekend. You’d also know that I wrote something really mean earlier this week in regards to Randy Savage. Here is the reprint:
ADVISORY: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS ROUGH LANGUAGE THAT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR YOUNG EYES.
Wednesday 11.10.04 – 11.10.04 13:19 pm
Deep in the heart of hell. So f*cking bored today I honestly don’t know what to write/talk about. 2 things jump at me that I can think of.
1. Morris released by WWE. My actual first thoughts were “Who?” Double M of Inside Pulse was kind enough to cue me in on him and give me a picture of him. He looked like Virgil and Orlando Jordan had a baby and pissed on it. Good thing he’s gone.
2.Randy Savage quit TNA because it’s “an unsafe environment”
You know what? Here’s a message from Dan Hevia to Randy Savage:
“Macho Man”? GO FUCK YOURSELF. For years you’ve been a big tough guy calling out Hogan. You made a rap CD that goes down as one of the worst things ever to be done to music and you even found a way to challenge Hogan on it. “Be A Man”? You be a f*cking man. Hogan tried (reportedly) to smooth things over when he saw you, but you blew him off. After you blew him off he said (reportedly) “Why don’t we go outside and settle this once and for all?” THAT’S BEING A MAN. But no, you pussy out. So that would’ve been fine and dandy, but now you won’t show up because of it? FUCK OFF. FUCK YOU; FUCK YOUR LACKEYS FROM KRONIK. If you are going to shit on this business and a company who (although I have never really given a chance) is just trying to get it’s feet off the ground by burying them when they bring you in a big spot, just get out of this business and go f*ck yourself. Elizabeth was lucky for the fate she received; it was better than being stuck with your ass, you piece of shit.
Now whoever reads this may think I’ve lost it. No, I haven’t. I’ve watched this business for a long time. I’ve enjoyed it forever. But I, like most, will admit that watching it was a hell of a lot more fun when there was some competition. The brand extension was for revenue, no matter what is said. You can’t create your own competition. I miss the Monday night wars. I miss WWF/WCW. So while I haven’t really kept up with it, I root for TNA to become a viable alternative. The WWE releases may just give them a boost. Anybody that says whoever gets released is done is stupid. Raven used to be Johnny Polo. So anybody can become anything in this business. The reason I am so angry is because they banked on Savage and he f*cked them over because he played in Hogan’s sandbox and got some sand in his vagina. So now he runs like a little bitch. And he hurts a company that could, with help, make us enjoy this whole sport again. So, in conclusion, f*ck you Savage, this business is better off without you, but we would’ve loved to have you so we could have fun again. Jackass.
Now you can see where someone might have gotten offended…the Elizabeth comment. Well whoop-dee-damn-doo! I received a bunch of feedback, one of which told me that if they ever saw me, they’d rip my f*cking throat out. I was shocked, not because I got such a harsh response, but because as an EMT I didn’t know you could actually rip someone’s throat out…I mean WHO KNEW? I will say this though: If the stories that have come out recently about Hogan calling Savage and saying that Goldberg, Austin and himself were coming to TNA so Randy Savage wouldn’t have a top spot are true, then I rescind my comments for the simple fact that Savage was right to walk. If what Hogan said is true, I take Randy Savage’s side. If not, my comments stand.
Now on with the show so I can get the hell out of freezing NY…
RAW 11.08.04
-HHH rejoins Raw to let us know Flair is injured and Big Daddy Dave is pissed. HHH is also pissed. Eric Bischoff comes out looking all pissed. IT’S THE PISSED SHOW! Hx3 takes GM Eric down and lets him know of his unhappiness. EB threatens to strip HHH of the title. Bischoff announces Batista vs. Orton…. right now.
-Randy Orton def. Batista
-Batista tries to jump Benoit, Orton, Jericho and Maven
-Benoit promo from post-Raw last week. Bloody and battered, he’s going to kill Edge.
-Shelton Benjamin def. Tyson Tomko
-Highlight Reel features Jericho with Trish and Lita, only to be interrupted by Gene Snitsky, who punts a baby into the crowd and brawls/aborts Jericho.
-Simon Dean is out and makes fun of fat people. And one of them wants help…but then she doesn’t…. then she throws Simon’s patented Simon Seamen on Simon. (SAY THAT SHIT FIVE TIMES FAST). He dumps his juice all over her.
-Triple H vs. Tajiri ends in a no contest due to Snitsky killing Tajiri.
-Snitsky tells Triple H he isn’t much of a team player and when they win, he’s coming for the title.
-Muhammed Hassan speaks with his translator. He just wants to be one of us.
-Edge shills the book and then tells HHH that…when they win…he’ll be coming for the title.
-HHH tells Batista he needs to talk to Snitsky and Edge and walks away. Batista glares at the world title. Mentally saying…when we win…I’ll be coming for the title.
-Edge and Chris Benoit was either a DQ or no contest when the SS combatants flipped and went after each other. Brawl ends with Orton, Benoit, Jericho and Maven standing tall.
THE WEEKLY MEMBRANE:
LEGALLY:
-HHH assaulting GM Eric is…assault. No reason to grab the man like that either. Just mean.
-Batista trying to jump Team Babyface was assault even though he went after 4 guys. Stupidity can’t get you out of that one.
-Benoit’s promo proves that whatever he does for the night is premeditated.
-Gene Snitsky punting the baby doll into the crowd wasn’t really illegal, but what if Vinnie Mac tried to be funny and put a real baby in there. Also, for the record, babies are not good footballs…Blatt told me so. Sick bastard.
-Simon Dean once again slandered fat people. But once again he was right.
-Snitsky technically violated the Calvin Klein laws by killing Tajiri, although the bell hadn’t rung yet.
-While saying you will come after him isn’t illegal, Snitsky just wasn’t being a team player with Triple H.
-Muhammed Hassan is once again guilty of being Arab in America. Not illegal, but it seems as if it is. (BEST LINE EVER: “You are violating my rights because I am Arab?” “No, I’m searching your house because 19 guys that look like your twin brother killed 3,000 Americans.” -The Shield)
-Edge is also guilty of not being a team player.
-Batista is guilty of mentally not being a team player.
-Team Babyface and Team Babykiller are all guilty of violating the Calvin Klein laws.
PERSONALLY:
-Eric Bischoff is SO old school nWo with the gray/silver hair.
-Triple H = Shooting…still. Not shooting up, shooting like wrestling shooting.
-Randy Orton and Batista put on the best wrestling match on Raw in a long time.
-I like Big Dave going nuts and trying to kill all the faces by himself.
-The only thing I liked about Shelton vs. Tomko was the end.
-When Snitsky came out with that baby two things popped into my head: 1.HAHHAHAHAHAHA and 2. How could Vince get his grandchild into wrestling at such a young age?
-The Simon Dean thing: Dudes…did you see how big that chick was!? WHOA!
-Enough said about Muhammed Hassan…although if he has fans, they’ll have to buy BIG poster board to root for him.
-I like having Edge and Snitsky as the partners who are in it for themselves…adds depth to the match. Either way, Triple H is screwed.
-YES! HAVE BATISTA TURN! YEEEEEEEEEES!
-Edge vs. Benoit didn’t live up to what I thought it would. And when people come down to the ring, is it really necessary to hit their music IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH?
Overall: Not a bad show. It had its moments. I just wish those moments were on more of a regular basis.
THOUGHTS ON A MISSED SHOW…FOR THE LAST TIME!
That’s right I changed my work schedule so I will now have the honor of watching smackdown again. Maybe it will get it’s ! back and a capital s to boot.
-Well I already said Tough Enough ends with “The Miz” for me. Katie didn’t put up a column this week so there goes my plug.
-Spike and Kidman vs. Rey and Chavo sounds like something that could be real fun.
-JOSH MATTHEWS! AGAIN!? Listen let’s keep letting him get in the ring…GO VOTE! (AFTER YOU’RE DONE READING MY COLUMN BITCHES!)
-RVD wasn’t helping Big Show stretch…THEY WERE SMOKING!
-JOSH WON!? NEXT CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPEEEEON BITCH!
-RVD and Eddie Guerrero can be a great tag team if they want to play with it.
-Who called Cena being the 4th member? Yea it was me.
-I watched the Tazz/Heidenreich thing on WWE.com and let me say this: I want to see Tazz go and rip someone apart. He’s awesome. I still have the Team Taz Dojo shirt from ECW.
-Angle vs. Big Show has been done before but it ended the same as Raw. Only the heels come out on top.
Overall: Didn’t sound too bad! I’m excited to see smackdown again.
Well I don’t have time to email PK for The Roundtable so I’ll get it done here.
Cruiserweight Title Match – I saw Billy Kidman gets the win to keep the push alive. Maybe he hits Rey with an errant SSP.
Women’s Title – Lita gets the win…they have to repay her somehow.
Undertaker vs. Heidenreich – Undertaker…c’mon you thought Heidenreich would win?
Shelton Benjamin vs. Captain Charisma – Shelton gets the duke. He very well could lead to a revolution for that belt.
Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle – I’ll say Cena and Eddie survive, Angle eliminated last.
Team Babyface vs. Team Babykiller – Team Babyface wins with Orton the sole survivor.
JBL vs. Booker T – JBL…see Undertaker vs. Heidenreich for my feelings. They’re the same for Booker T.
Another post from MY BLOG regarding the Universal Studio WWE/TNA confrontation:
As for news of today, Thursday, November 11th, 2004: TNA raiding WWE talent? C’mon folks! This isn’t the WCW old days! Everyone wants you to believe that TNA is going to raid WWE of talent and put up a fight because THEY HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. Hogan isn’t going to show up and be the missing partner for a Hall and Nash squad that matters. It won’t happen. Because WE’VE SEEN IT BEFORE. Who’s going to run in? Seriously…will we be breaking a HUGE story about Rodney Mack signing with TNA? NO! AND WHO CARES!? You think that one of the top guys in WWE is all of a sudden going to show up on TNA and make it a contender? NO! WWE has the money to sign whomever at whatever cost and when it comes down to it, a very smart man once said, “Everybody’s got a price.” Fact of the matter is, WWE is the only one that can make that price come true for any aspiring or cemented wrestler in this business. As for the surprises at Victory Road: Scott Hall is not Scott Hall anymore. Kevin Nash isn’t Kevin Nash anymore. And Randy Savage isn’t Randy Savage anymore. Hell, if you get those guys and Hogan in the ring, the geriatric match between the “Nacho Man” and “Huckster from yesteryear may be staring you right in the eye. LITERALLY. These guys had their time, but sorry, it’s over. Put over AJ Styles bigger, create new stars. ECW didn’t become ECW buy bringing in these guys. They built and built and built. Now yes, they went out of business. They ran out of money. Don’t you think TNA will run out of money sooner if they don’t stop signing all these big names that don’t mean a damn but make a boatload? Maybe I’m off key; maybe I’m just the man with talent on loan from God (Thanks Rush). Hit me with an email if you think I’m right, wrong, or pissing on your back and telling you it’s raining.
As for the Universal Studios/Dave Sahadi/TNA/WWE conflict: CMON! Sahadi, I will admit, is and was phenomenal at what he did/does. The only thing that gets me is the fact that WWE HAS TO KNOW THAT TNA TAPES THERE. I think they may have been scouting themselves. And if Sahadi sent over cookies and balloons the WWE crew should have been happy to get food. But as stated above…NO CONTRACTS WERE SIGNED, NOBODY JUMPED SHIP. How ridiculous is it that the big deal between these two companies is cookies and balloons? I feel like it’s a heel version of “This Is Your Life”. So scratch what I said above. The only person that TNA can and will away from WWE after all this is Yurple. And if that’s not a big name then I don’t know who is.
I’ll leave you guys with this as I head off for the weekend: Wouldn’t it have been cool to have Maven get injured and have The Rock show up as the 4th member for Orton’s team? He could win and host the next nights Raw…they can get him for like two days right?…just sayin’
Ok, I’m out of all my talent on loan from God, and I’m also out like the fat kid in dodgeball.
LATER!
-Hevia
P.S. Sorry for not having any pictures this week;I couldn’t find any.
P.P.S. Check out Deconstructing The Moveset when Blatt gets his computer working again. He whooped me so bad in WWE Fantasy that I have to give him a shout out.
