Said But True
“I am a soap fan.”
– Daniels, in his Thursday Daily Pulse
Lather Rinse Repeat
Skip this column right now.
Still here?
So be it. You’ve been warned.
“Welcome to Planet Jarrett… this has been a global warning!”
Yes, Daniels is a soap fan. It’s taken me the good part of a week to forgive him, despite my instincts. Let’s face it, there’s so much quality television out there, especially this year with new dramas “Desperate Housewives,” “Lost,” “Boston Legal,” “CSI: NY,” as well as this summe’s hit “Rescue Me,” and FOX’ recent debut “House” getting critical acclaim left and right, while basically tearing it up in the ratings. That’s not to mention smaller-scale shows that the criterati has been all over, from “Veronica Mars” to “Kevin Hill,” “Jack and Bobby,” and “Medical Investigation,” as well as all of the great series that didn’t see their premiere this season, of which there are too many to name.
All of these great dramas on the air, enough situational comedies to satiate the funny bone, and “unscripted” sports and reality programming galore, and Tom watches the Soap Opera Channel? Is there any wonder it’s been a long, hard week trying to forgive our beloved Mr. Daniels?
A long, hard week that started on Sunday – a TV day usually occupied by this minor obsession I have with the ladies of Wisteria Lane on “Desperate Housewives.” Did you hear that one of them is having an affair with the LAWN BOY? Or that the main character, who killed herself in the first episode (yet has stayed on as the narrator), has some mysterious secrets that may end up proving that she’s not only been using a fake name, but also may have either (a) killed someone, (b) stolen something and/or (c) had a daughter that no one ever knew about? Or that her son may be gay? Or that the new man on the block who everyone has a crush on may be a cop, PI, or all-around bad guy?
Yes, I can’t stand soap operas. I watch smarter, more thoughtful television like “Desperate Housewives.”
Although I couldn’t watch it this week, as I alluded to above, since ABC was broadcasting the American Music Awards on Sunday. As much as I love AMA host Jimmy Kimmel, this was disappointing; I had a similar feeling when I found out that most of My Shows are going on a week-long hiatus due to Thanksgiving. So what did I do? That’s right, I went to Widro’s to watch World Wrestling Entertainment’s Thanksgiving-time Pay Per View, “Survivor Series.”
Featured on Survivor Series:
– Wrestler-turned-financial-tycoon John “Bradshaw” Layfield defending his WWE Heavyweight Title against angry black man Booker T, with help from outside interference from his “chief of staff” (and former kickboxer) Orlando Jordon when the referee’s back was turned, as well as a stiff shot to Booke’s head with the title belt;
– A chance encounter backstage between Smackdown’s Jon Heidenreich – a psychopath former football player who reads poetry to his victims and comes out to the ring in a straightjacket (that he enjoys) – and RAW’s Gene Snitsky – a rookie wrestler who accidentally bumped into the pregnant Lita during a match, causing a miscarriage, and who has been using that miscarriage to position himself in main event match-ups, using the catch-phrase “it wasn’t my fault!” You would have loved this backstage exchange… Gene: “I like your poetry.” Jon: “I like what you do to babies.” Classic; and
– A main event, 8-man, tag-team elimination match where the winning team gets to run RAW while General Manager Eric Bischoff goes on a mont’s vacation.
Man, I can’t believe Daniels watches soap operas. I wouldn’t be caught dead doing so…
Till My Head Falls Off…
This is a segment that I used to close each column with, featuring a quick thought or three that may or may not tie pop culture into “the real world” in some way, but has nothing to do with the rest of my column, but will perhaps lead to some feedback:
– Saw James Cameron last night. A tall, tall man…
– So the Mets don’t make Alex Rodriguez an offer following the 2000 season, and he signs with the Texas Rangers, eventually becoming MVP. Then they do make an offer to Vladamir Guerrero, but get beat out by the Anaheim Angels (who aren’t as hesitant about Vlad’s “bad back”), and HE goes on to win MVP. Anyone have the odds that Carlos Beltran, Magglio Ordonez, or Richie Sexton (whichever the Mets don’t sign) wins MVP next year?
– I liked Colin Powell, I really did. But he wasn’t going to be effective anymore, and I’d much rather the rumors that he’s planning on going up against Hillary for NY Senator in 2006 are true than he stick around and get nothing done in the State Department. Now let’s see if that VP’s next to resign…
Checking The Pulse
Let’s click around InsidePulse, and see what we’ve got in each zone at presstime…
Pulse Wrestling is more hardcore than Daniels…
Pulse Music both sucks AND rocks more than Daniels…
The Nexus is almost as marvelous as Daniels…
Pulse Games is angrier than Daniels…
Pulse Figures has more superpowers than Daniels (although not telekinesis; no one is as kinetic as Daniels!)…
Pulse Sports isn’t as dumb as Daniels…
Pulse Movies makes more money than Daniels…
Pulse TV, though, is definitely not as groovy as Daniels…
(Also, don’t forget to hit up the InsidePulse FORUMS where you too can apologize to Daniels…)
Until next time…
peace. love. moe.
– Matthew
