Yes, my shitty cable went out again last week, hence the lack of a report last week. Sorry ‘bout that. Hopefully won’t happen again.
WWE Velocity- November 20, 2004
-Opening video still somehow, some ways, includes The Rock. Instead of pyro, here comes Torrie as Josh welcomes us to Velocity. Torrie, of course, is here to dazzle us with more of her terrific ring announcing. She introduces the participants for our first match: Spike Dudley and Hardcore ‘Carlito Killer’ Holly. Holly’s tights design unknowingly form a ‘V’, which must be a message from god to indicate a lifetime of Velocity for Big Bob.
-Spike Dudley vs. Hardcore Holly. Pacing to start, lockup. Spike gets a headlock, but gets whipped and shoulderblocked. Spike regroups on the outside of the ring. Back in, Spike with another headlock, ducks an elbow, hits a few chops, ducks another shot, then runs to the outside where Holly follows. Back in, Spike with a cheap shot, but he gets flapjacked and Holly hits his little nut shot thingamajig, which has so much power it sends Spike to the outside. Back in, Holly beats on Spike, but misses a shoulder charge to the corner and falls to the outside. Spike jumps off the apron with his stomp. Back into the ring, Spike chokes and works the arm, then locks on a sort of armlock. Holly picks Spike up while the hold is still locked on, then slams him back. Back elbows by Holly, off the ropes, big dropkick. Spike reverses a military press into a school boy for 2, but walks into a powerslam for 2. Spike comes off the ropes and hits his diving thrust headbutt, but tries a cross-body type move and is caught by Holly, who moves him into position and connects with the Alabama Slam to finish this match. **1/2, Holly actually gave Spike some good offense here.
-Tonight, Big Show will be in action, presumably against a jobber.
-Also tonight, Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak take on Nunzio and Funaki.
-ECW Extreme Moment: RVD’s crowd dives and such during his famous match with Bam Bam Bigelow.
-Tough Enough Recap. The dude with the broken ribs is eliminated. Their challenge this week: each contestant has to try and power past the Basham Bros, who have apparently forgotten their little Velocity spat from a couple weeks ago, and reach a flag that’s in the corner. No one wins, though Puder gets perhaps the closest.
-Coming up next, Big Show is in action.
-WWE 24/7 ad. Holy shit, I want that. And if you’re reading this, you should too.
-Metroid Prime WWE Sweepstakes ad, with RVD. Pretty badass.
-Back on Velocity, Stone Cold Paul Wight makes his entrance, set to take on ‘Chad Miller and somethin’ Lee’. Jobbers! Jobbers everywhere! Show throws one guy down, then throws the other around. The other guy runs into Big Show, falls down, and gets a knee to the head. Other guy comes off the top rope but Show catches him and props him back up on the top. Then the taller of the jobber punches Show, only to get goozled. Guy on the top comes down and lands on Show’s back. Show takes them into the corner, and ass splashes them, followed by big chops. Double chokeslam finishes this squash. *.
-We’re reminded of our main event, Reigns/Jindrak vs. Nunzio and Funaki.
-WWE Monster Job of the Week: Henidenreich’s meltdown on SmackDown.
-Shannon Moore vs. Akio. Lockup, armlock by Shannon, reversals aplenty by both men. Pin exchanges, and a standoff. Shannon bows, but when Akio attempts to, Shannon slaps his back. Drop toehold followed by a senton by Shannon for 2. Akio into the corner, backdrops Shannon on the apron, though Shannon hops back over and headscissors Akio to the outside. Back in, Shannon comes off the top rope, right into a spinning heel kick by Akio that gets 2. Shots by Akio, who then locks on an Octopus hold. Shannon sloppily escapes, but gets suplexed for a 2 count. Akio with an armlock, Shannon to his feet, Akio misses a splash into the corner. Kicks and clotheslines by Moore, followed by a back body drop and a spinning leg lariat for 2. Into the corner, Shannon tries a monkey flip, but Akio reverses and props him up top. Akio misses a top rope hurricanrana, and Moore comes down with the Mooregasm to end this match. **, too short.
-Up next, a recap of John Cena winning the U.S. Title.
-WWE in Irag promo.
-WrestleMania Recall: Vince vs. Shane, WMX7.
-Recap of Cena’s title recapture, effectively putting Carlito on the inactive list. Afterwards, Jesus (that’s hay-ZOOS, kids) attacks Cena.
-Up next, Jindrak/Reigns vs. Nunzio/Funaki.
-WWE Rewind: Rey and RVD defeating Kenzo and Rene on SmackDown.
-Of note: Reports stated that Nunzio’s video still had Stamboli in it. Which is why his entrance here is funny, as you never, ever see much of the tron, as it zooms into Nunzio and Funaki for most of the entrance.
– Nunzio and Funaki vs. Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak. Jindrak and Funaki to start. Lockup, Sho Fu taken into the corner, where Jindrak backs off. Off the ropes, head scissors by Funaki, and a tag to Nunzio. Nunzio taken into the heel corner, and Reigns is tagged in. Nunzio goes after the knee, but Luther takes over anyway. Reigns just stomps away at Nunzio. Tag to Jindrak, who locks on a bearhug. Nunzio barely fights out, but Jindrak beats him down regardless. Off the ropes, Nunzio with a schoolboy for 2. Sicilian Slice by Nunzio, who makes it through Jindrak’s legs to get a tag. Funaki fires up, and gets an enziguri on Jindrak. A tornado DDT is blocked, but Funaki gets a double DDT on the heels for a 2. Nunzio goes after Reigns, but gets taken out. This leaves Funaki to get hit with the double team Dropkick into Spinebuster combo the Jindrak did when he was with Cade. This finishes this quasi-squash off. *1/2.
My Thoughts: Bad show all around this week. Only really decent match was Moore/Akio. Hopefully this was just an off week.
