Hi everyone.
It’s only a few days to Thanksgiving (for us Americans, at least), which means a few things:
1. I’m really busy grading the traditional before-Thanksgiving midterm/paper assignment (both, in my case). I’m also cooking at least half of whatever it is my girlfriend and a couple of our friends end up eating for Thanksgiving dinner.
2. Iâ??m about to turn 28–on Saturday, in fact. Usually this wouldn’t really be of any interest to any of you, except that my girlfriend is getting me Smackdown vs. Raw for my present. Yes, I assume that the games section will have a review of it, and probably even a tribunal at some point as well. Nevertheless, I’ll include some of my thoughts in next week’s column. I’ve been playing this series since the very first one, and I’m eager to get to work on this one–though it will take away time from GTA:SA.
3. Another ramification of my birthday is that I’ve got to go to the DMV today (Tuesday) to renew my driver’s license. As long as I’m out, we’re doing our Christmas shopping and running a few errands. So I’ve got a full day ahead of me tomorrow (whereas I spend most Tuesdays reading microfilm all day). That means I can’t stay up late on Monday night finishing this column (as is usually the case).
So anyway, this week’s column will be relatively short. I’ve got a few things in store for you, though.
DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ DEPT.
A story making the rounds (which we, thankfully, didn’t pick up) is that the WWE is no longer signing talent under 6 feet tall. The story originated at PWInsider, and went a little something like this:
In news that will no doubt excite fans of workrate everywhere, the new basic mantra of WWEâ??s talent relations department is that they expect any wrestler looking to be hired to be at least 6′ tall and about 225 pounds, and taller and heavier is most probably better. The chances of a Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero or Chris Jericho getting in to todayâ??s WWE are getting less and less by the day
See, this is why Dave Scherer will never be as respected as Dave Meltzer. There are so many annoying things about this story. Namely:
1. Duh. Where have you been, Dave? The WWF/E has always signed the bigger guys more often than the smaller ones. Just look at the roster, man. There’s a reason that Mark Jindrak is on roster and Reno isn’t. All promoters favor big guys, if they can get them. Smaller guys always have had to work harder. And hey, what do you know, it’s the same thing in the NFL and NBA–smaller players tend to be truly exceptional. Pro wrestling is a different beast than basketball or football of course, as it isn’t real athletic competition. It is, however, simulated athletic competition. And people naturally believe that a bigger guys are better fighters. This seems unfair on one hand, but on the other hand it makes the victories by smaller guys (like Benoit or Guerrero) seem all that much more compelling. So this really isn’t news unless there’s been an official policy shift. Which brings me to point two….
2. The WWE isn’t happy with their current developmental prospects. This is no great secret. There seem to be two basic types of wrestlers in OVW right now. One is small guys who, while basically capable, aren’t overwhelmingly great workers and who lack charisma. The other are green big guys who aren’t anywhere near being ready to go. Vince McMahon, John Laurinaitis, and Jim Ross are all (presumably) realistic about prospects: they know that most of them won’t work out. If the writers/whoever want to bring up more big guys, it only makes sense to sign more simply because it increases the odds that some of them will be worth brining up.
3. Who says big guys can’t work? Yeah, Benoit, Guerrero, and Jericho may very well be the three best workers in the company right now. But then again, you might disagree. Shortness is not a prerequisite for wrestling talent.
4. Really talented wrestlers will surely still get a chance. I can’t imagine that the WWE would pass up on the chance to sign Benoit, Guerrero, or Jericho if any of them were free agents. Even if he doesn’t see them as top-level guys, Vince McMahon knows that good workers improve the quality of the product. I fully believe that we’ll see American Dragon in the WWE someday–he’s too good for Vince McMahon to ignore forever. I wouldn’t be shocked to see Lo ‘Ki or Samoa Joe or any of the other indy superstars wind up in the WWE someday either, even if they don’t work the “WWE style.” Neither did Benoit, Guerrero, or Jericho when they signed.
5. Question Scherer’s sources. I’ve always heard that his contacts are mostly former ECW folks. Could they possibly have some sort of bias? Might they be distorting the facts out of bitterness or frustration? If so, what kind of “journalist” is Dave Scherer for reporting this stuff as fact?
6. Scherer is pandering. The WWE’s detractors have been saying this sort of things for years. Dave Scherer is confirming his credentials as a fellow critc, full of righteous anger against the Great Satan McMahon. So, instead of doing the ethical thing and reporting this as rumor or speculation, Scherer tries to pass it off as confirmed–what the hell does “basic mantra” mean, anyway? Is this a written policy, or is this the conclusion the “boys” backstage have reached? Whose decision was this? McMahon? Laurinaitis? Triple H? This is such a weasely way of putting things.
7. Scherer can’t write. Re-read that last sentence: The chances of a Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero or Chris Jericho getting in to today’s WWE are getting less and less by the day. Okay. Chances are getting less? And this guy gets paid for this? I do this for free–what’s your excuse, Dave?
Okay, I admit it. I’m especially critical of guys with whom I share my name. Meltzer is lucky that his credibility and reliability overshadow his shortcomings as a prose stylist.
MEANWHILE…
Speaking of Meltzer–he was the first to report that Bob Holly stiffed Rene Dupree at a recent house show. A controversial story to be sure, but Meltzer handled it perfectly. A brief recap: First Meltzer posts a verbatim report from a fan who attended the show. No comments on the veracity of the story of a backstage fight, no agreement that Holly did this intentionally. Look at the headline: “Holly busts Dupree’s eye at Syracuse show.” Just the facts, as would have been apparent to everyone in the audience. Later in the day, Meltzer gives some specifics on the situation, indicating that Dupree kind of provoked Holly (who, Meltzer acknowledges, is “an asshole”).
That’s good coverage. Meltzer didn’t report the story as fact, but as a fan’s report. And he didn’t tint the coverage to favor one side over the other. Dupree was careless and cost Holly some free time on the road (which is apparently hard to come by). On the other hand, this wasn’t really grounds for beating the hell out of somebody–especially considering that these guys put their lives in each other’s hands every time they step in the ring. Holly’s adding to his reputation as a loose cannon, and this has to affect how people approach him in the ring. You can’t help but wonder how long Laurinaitis and McMahon will tolerate this sort of crap.
And note that Meltzer, as a reporter, didn’t add these speculative comments. I did, because I’m just some jerk who writes this out of the goodness in his heart and the immenseness of his ego. Even if you enjoy this column, you don’t come to it as your primary source of news. On the other hand, Meltzer is probably the most credible news source on the net, with Scherer a distant second and Keller not far behind him. There’s a big assed credibility gap there, folks. Bear that in mind as you read the “news.”
RAW NOTES
Regular readers know how big I am on Batista. This stuff we saw on Raw last night was great, especially the awesome Ric Flair promo. Yeah, you could see the “swerve” coming from a mile away, but then they added the cool twist of HHH dissing Batista for losing his match. So the tension is still there; hopefully it will lead to a HHH-Batista feud on down the line.
The Shelton Benjamin promo was tremendous, compelling stuff. Before anyone starts questioning exactly how tough Orangeburg isâ?¦you obviously haven’t spent any time in the rural South. It ain’t all Mayberry. I grew up in a small town in upstate South Carolina, where the sort of stuff Benjamin was describing definitely went on. It wasn’t like Beirut or anything, but there were definitely parts of town you wanted to avoid. I haven’t spent much time in Orangeburg, but by reputation it’s a pretty rough place. Anyway, a great start for fleshing out Benjamin’s character. I think that the WWE missed an opportunity to use Booker T’s background to further develop the character. On the other hand, Booker T has sort of a wacky, outsize personality that isn’t necessarily conducive to dwelling on his darker past. Shelton Benjamin, on the other hand, might be a good fit. Gotta be better than “Make a Difference” era Rikishi, right?
Here’s a note for Stephen Randle: Ever consider that maybe “Dorkboy” pauses so much because he gets lost during his promos?
Snitsky looks rough. ROUGH. My girlfriend (finally back from California) was thoroughly disgusted throughout his match. Nonetheless, she still found Batista to be grosser. For the record, she finds Brock Lesnar to be the most repulsive of the lot.
NEXT WEEK
I’ll steal a page from Widro’s book and look at the progress of some of the young guns. Don’t worry, Widro won’t mind–these days he’s more into firing writers for incorrectly answering geometry questions. Check it out in Tuesday’s Daily Pulse!
