All your doing is whining and complaining. See we’re number one, we’re number… what… Oh we’re number three. Yeah!!!! I’m so proud of myself. I am so great, and you doubted me. I got us here third and all you got was a massive brain contusions. You know what, now you have to read my thoughts on this week’s episode…
1. Winners of the Week: One of the true signs of a winner is the ability to persevere against all odds and all manner of adversities. So, despite starting in last place, being on the slow boat, stubborn personalities and beltless pants Gus and Hera came in a very respectable third place. This father and daughter team on the surface may not seem to have what it takes, especially physically where the father has a bit of a weeble thing going. Yet, we all know that a weeble may wabble, be it won’t fall down. So don’t count this team out just yet.
2. Weasels of the Week: I have been known to be one of the defenders of the villain teams of The Amazing Race. While often times these teams, like Colin/Christie or Jon/Kelly act like jerks, I tend to attribute a lot of the negative actions to the stress of the race, plus they were good technical racers which in my book matters a lot. Yet with Jonathan it’s different. I imagine the guy would act like an ass while wearing a pair of warm cozy socks and getting a backrub from his Playboy Bunny wife, as long as there is a camera around to catch it. The guy is just a putz plain and simple. He pushes his wife aside, then later accidentally bangs her in the head with the car door, and he expects an apology down because she asked him to right down directions. It’s one thing to fight with you mate, it’s another to publicly embarrass her and revel in it. He’s rude to his wife, his rude to the other racers and he’s rude to the locals. What only makes it worse is he fulfills two of my biggest requirements to make my Worst Racers of All Time rankings, he is a mediocre racer who acts like he is God’s Gift, and he hams it up to the cameras every chance he gets. The man seems incapable of a simple emotion, everything is overboard, and to me, that means fake. I hate fake. I may now need to make Jonathan my permanent weasel and have a separate Weasel for all the non-Jonathans in the race.
3. Line of the Week: All the wonderful quips of our fabulous racers. Where to begin. First, Kris of the invisible team of Kris and Jon had a quote that I found funny, and yet I can’t really say why exactly, but I’m going to share it anyway. “I am a geography major in school. I know where we’re going and I know how to get there.” OK, I know, not really funny, I guess you would have to know some geography majors. For less eclectic fun, Lori may have taken top honors this week with a bit truth that is right on the mark, “But accuracy is you’se got to be accurate.” Yep, textbook.
4. Well, two episodes, two New York teams bite the dust. So we must say good-bye to the two Queens, Meredith and Maria. I guess like the Yankees that can’t win, when it matters. They just aren’t clutch. (Cheesy pun alert!!) Now, let this be a lesson to all you future race wannabe’s. A race for a million dollars is not the best time to learn how to drive a stick shift. Let’s face it, these two were just not good racers. They may be one of the worst teams ever, but personality wise, they may have been fun to keep around. Despite playing from behind for a lot of the race, they kept there spirits high, and seemed to have fun, and that counts for a lot.
5. So here’s a question. If Lena and Kristy were a couple of hairy men, do you think Otti’s father would have let him ride with them. Even more so, if they weren’t a couple of hot Mormon chicks, but instead a couple of middle aged homely Presbyterians, would they even be in the race. i guess it’s all moot. Otti got some face time on TV, and a chance to hang out with a Bad Mormon Girl. Maybe he’s the real winner this week.
6. Those must have been some special glasses. Were they X-Ray glasses? Or perhaps the expensive prescription variety? Up until this point Adam, AKA Hellboy has been able to keep a cool head, despite their diesel mix-up and other race related stress factors. Yet, next time she asks him to take off his glasses, he’ll never speak to her again. OK, nearly cost me a chance at a million dollars by failing to read the clearly marked gas tanks, that’s cool, just don’t tell me to take off my glasses or I’ll cut you. Maybe who he should really be mad at is the doofus who forgot to pick them up from the boat. Well, at least he loves his Mom.
7. I’ve heard people scream emergency, or even emergencia. I’ve seen people try to negotiate cheaper deals and attempt to stiff their cabbie. Yet, this is the first time I remember seeing someone ask for the senior citizen discount on TAR. What’s next, will TAR rent Don and May Jean a super sized Buick? Will they drive it with their left turn signal constantly blinking? Will they stop for the Early Bird Dinner Buffet? And even if they do show up at the Matinee, and sit right in front of me and ask each other questions really, really loud during the whole movie, I will probably still like them. They are a plucky and fun team. It may be fun to see the old couple put a whoopin’ on some of these young bucks.
8. A lot of fun challenges. I thought Bolo was a bit insensitive in finding humor in Lori’s constant falling down during the roller skiing challenge. I mean, come on, she may pop something. And poor Freddy, trying to keep up with Kendra. See what you get by dating a women ten years younger than you. The Viking boat challenge was interesting Seeing the differing approaches the teams took was intriguing. The first group decided that a good team effort was key, while the other group just decided totally sucking was the way to go. It was interesting to see the teams being forced to work together. To bad that they couldn’t ram and board the other boat and battle it out Viking Style.
9. It seems that The Amazing Producers came up with a new rule. I think it’s called The Flo Rule. The rule is that no member of any team can perform more than six roadblocks during the race. I guess the rule is there to prevent people from being carried through the race. While in theory the rule is nice, in practicality how will it play out. Will the producers attempt more diverse challenges? Will the casting now be more focused on physical skills rather than interesting personalities? Or will it better the race by making it more strategic? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Well, that’s all for now. Happy Thanksgiving.
Bob
