Sorry about missing Wednesday again. My net connection was down all day Wednesday and didn’t come back up until after I was home from work at midnight. Fortunately, there was nothing much to talk about anyway. I didn’t want to do a cliched Thanksgiving column, because there’s nothing worse than “I give thanks for” shit, especially when I don’t have much to give thanks for in the first place. Well, enjoy this puppy, because it’s the last thing you’ll ever see from me in my 30s. As of Sunday, I get to pull the whole mid-life crisis thing without being premature about it. Let’s roll…
THE SMACKDOWN SHORT FORM
Match Results:
Rey-Rey over Rene Dupree (Pinfall, springboard leg drop): Just your typical Rey-Rey match, really. Dupree was just in there as an excuse. Yeah, it’s supposed to pimp the Armageddon tag match, but, really, no one cares about it. This match didn’t make anyone change their position. Waste of everyone’s time.
Rey-Rey goes bouncy-bouncy
A delayed vertical suplex is always a great chance to get a screen grab
Rob Van Dam over Kenzo Suzuki (DQ, Fun With Sashes): It’s a Rob Van Dam match. Like I give a f*ck.
The way I like to see Rob Van Dam: getting the shit beat out of him
Kurt Angle over Cody Steele, Angle Invitational Match (Submission, AngleLock): I may not like the action, but it’s a great way to keep Kurt over as a heel, so I’m in favor of this continuing. However, I just wonder how they’re going to end it off: have some actual top-card guy do it when they’re in his hometown (check the schedules for Houston or El Paso, please), or just blow it off. I don’t know, and they probably don’t either.
The AngleLock, and it’s over
Dawn Marie versus Jackie Gayda, Pilgrims Versus Indians Match (Double DQ, ref’s decision): Okay, the outfits looked great, and that was the point of this whole thing. So let’s just move on.
Pocha-Dawn-tas
Goodwife Jackie
High-Quality Speaker Boy and His House Bitch over Eddy Guerrero and Booker T (Pinfall, Bradshaw pins Eddy, Basham-ference): And this was a main event in what way? Dull match, stupid ending…don’t we get enough of this with Raw’s main events?
Booker puts Jordan in a near-fall situation
Eddy hits the Third Amigo
Angle Developments:
These Boots Are Made For Sucking: Wilson’s silver-spangled boots may just be the tackiest things I’ve ever seen in my long life, and that’s saying a lot considering I’m a Doctor Who fan and have had to put up with a lot of sartorial mistakes. Those boots were just…disgusting. I don’t think there’s anything more to say about it.
Two great wrestlers and one hot chick. Like I need an excuse for this shot. Better than a screen cap of those goddamn boots.
No, I had to get a shot of the boots in just to show the people who didn’t watch what I’m talking about
An Audience Query: Semi-Regular James Lawson writes: Is it just me, or is the Big Show starting to look like a super-size version of Tazz? Well, James, let’s see…
I’d say yes.
This one’s too cool not to post
So is this one
By the way, in case you’re curious, turkeys are a bitch to inspect.
And this show was a bitch to cover. “Suck-ass” only begins to describe its low quality. But I’m not Keith; I’m not going to shy away from the Hawking radiation of this black hole. I have a duty to you, the reader, to describe it and let you make up your own mind (just as long as you agree with me). Until Tuesday, I’ll be miserable. You can simply enjoy yourselves.
