Inside Pulse Review – Christmas with the Kranks

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Credit: www.impawards.com

Director:

Joe Roth

Starring:

Tim Allen……….Luther Krank
Jamie Lee Curtis……….Nora Krank
Dan Aykroyd……….Vic Frohmeyer
Erik Per Sullivan……….Spike Frohmeyer
Cheech Marin……….Officer Salino
Jake Busey……….Officer Treen
M. Emmet Walsh……….Walt Scheel

Columbia Pictures presents the film Christmas with the Kranks. Written by Chris Columbus, based on the novel Skipping Christmas by John Grisham. With a running time of 99 minutes. Rated PG for brief language and suggestive content.

Christmas is a big deal. Christmas trees and Frosty the Snowman. The obligatory 24-hour marathon showing of A Christmas Story. Don’t forget about milk and cookies for Jolly St. Nick. Hmmm…there’s something else. Oh yeah, that Jesus dude. You can’t forget about Him. It is His birthday after all.

It may be Jesus’ birthday, but advertisers and shopping outlets have engrossed the public – in America, at least – into believing Christmas is all about buying gifts for friends and loved ones. No, no, no!!! Christmas is about celebrating the miracle of Jesus Christ.

Apparently, the people behind the making of Christmas with the Kranks also forgot. There are neither crucifixes present in this movie, nor are there any images with Jesus and His long curly hair. Heck, there isn’t even a character that expresses His name in vain.

The Kranks are a family that lives in a Christmas-obsessed suburb around Chicago. The paterfamilias is Luther Krank (Tim Allen). Luther is a middle-aged man who is a little cranky (that is not a pun). This irritability plays throughout the movie so viewers can be better prepared when the bait and switch routine takes place and Luther discovers the true meaning of Christmas. Jamie Lee Curtis plays Nora, the loving – but not yet desperate – housewife of Luther. Days after Thanksgiving she experiences empty-nest syndrome. Her only child, daughter Blair (Julie Gonzalo), joined the Peace Corps and has left for Peru.

As Luther and Nora drive home from the airport Nora wonders what Christmas will be like this year. Interesting. The mom is nervous for her daughter’s safety, but she also has Christmas planning on the brain. (Note to self: Welfare comes before Christmas endeavors. Got it.)

No daughter for Christmas, no problem. Luther has the brilliant idea to take a 10-day cruise to the Caribbean. There is a catch, however. “We skip Christmas,” Luther goes on to say. This entails no Christmas tree or decorations of any kind. Nora is apathetic towards Luther’s proposal, at first. She has this sort of “what will the neighbors think”-type of disposition. Nora is fanatical about having her yearly Christmas Eve party. When Luther explains what Christmas cost last year (more than $6000!) versus the cost of the cruise ($3000), Nora readily accepts. So what does this illustration teach us? That skipping Christmas is okay because a relaxing cruise is more cost-effective. The fact that the Kranks have an only child and still manage to spend $6000 a year on Christmas is truly inconceivable.

When word spreads that the Kranks will be skipping Christmas this year, the neighbors become furious. What once was a suburb filled with outgoing residents has now become a community that mimics the Gestapo. The fearless leader for this outfit is none other than Vic Frohmeyer (Dan Aykroyd). Demonstrations are held to “Free Frosty” – life-size version of Frosty the Snowman that should be sitting atop the Kranks residence. Stories are printed in the local paper about the Kranks refusal to participate in Christmas this year. Eureka, a breakthrough!!! The Kranks being persecuted is a metaphor for Jesus. I’ve unlocked the secret to Christmas with the Kranks. That must be the reason why Jesus didn’t get a reference.

Okay, just kidding. Perhaps the Kranks are a metaphor for individualism versus conformity. The fact that someone is trying to deduce some kind of significance for this movie is sad. It’s just that this movie is dreadful – pure dreck. The scenes, as well as the actions of the characters, were incoherent. The gooiness at the end is implausible to boot. For a movie that promotes itself as a family comedy; there is no moment in Kranks where it is even remotely funny.

Travis Leamons is one of the Inside Pulse Originals and currently holds the position of Managing Editor at Inside Pulse Movies. He's told that the position is his until he's dead or if "The Boss" can find somebody better. I expect the best and I give the best. Here's the beer. Here's the entertainment. Now have fun. That's an order!