It’s been a fun night of watching television while working on my paper and playing Max Payne 2.
Here’s what I watched-
6:30- NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw. A sincere farewell speech from a guy whose been at that desk since the year I was born. Seeing him leave just makes me feel old, but hey, he’s moving on to greener pastures and doing what he wants in life. Gotta respect that.
7:00- Extra- I normally don’t watch it, but was too involved in the video-game to change the channel. I didn’t even know Mark Mcgrath of Sugar Ray fame was a cohost. Man, he’s terrible.
7:30- Jeopardy- The feared giant-killer Empress Zerg is already gone. Expect my full thoughts on the ending of Jenning’s winning streak in this weekends soapbox.
8:00- Rudolph the Red-nose Reindeer- Two words: Burl motherf*cking Ives!!! Okay, it would’ve been two words if not for the profanity. I don’t particularly care for Christmas (It’s that whole not believing in Christ thing), but every year I make sure to catch this special, although I wish they’d move it closer to Christmas. Showing it on December 1st just comes off as CBS trying to get it out of the way.
9:00- A Nick and Jessica Family Christmas”- I’ve never seen an episode of Newlyweds (It’s that whole reality-show hating thing), but I watched the first Nick and Jessica variety show special and dug it. It definitely fell into that Schumacher Batman “So bad it’s entertaining category”. This one wasn’t so entertaining. Downright awful actually. I’d rather see old variety show staples and Muppets like in the first one, and not stupid spoiled whores like Ashley Simpson. And speaking of stupid spoiled whores, that brings me to what I watched at 10:00.”¦
“South Park”
“Stupid Spoiled Whores”
The gist of it- Paris Hilton comes to town to open a new “Stupid Spoiled Whore Store” in South Park, and all of the girls, save Wendy (assuming Kyle’s voice of reason-role) imitate her and dress like whores. Wendy, desperate to stop the insanity goes to Mr. Slave who knows a thing or two about whores, and asks him to help her out, which he does in his own special way.
Meanwhile, Paris, who lost yet another pet to suicide, stumbles upon Butters, and wants him as his new pet. She offers a large sum of money to his parents, who are more than willing to sell off their son for the hefty sum.
Also, Cartman tries to take advantage of the whorish situation, but it’s all for naugh since he’s”¦well, Cartman.
Favorite Moments- “What does she do?”, Skanque, Tinkerbell’s demise, Butte’s thought balloon, “Wanna watch the Price is Right”, The difference between men and women, “A little midnight blue”, Cartman’s search for compliments, Butters checking for a”¦ummm pulse?, Kelly Rutherfordminskin, Mr. Slave’s little talk and the corresponding flashback, The late Cuddles, Slave vs. Hilton in a Whore Off, Masturbation: Hawaiian Style, “I’m a bad bear”, and the rear-ending.
What flat out sucked- Watching Paris Hilton in any format sucks. I still can’t fathom why she was in “Cat in the Hat”.
Personal thoughts- I may begin to sound like a broken record, but in the words of the immortal Chris Farley “That was awesome”. Trey and Matt took a one-note joke, and weaved it into multiple sub-plots, which kept the show fresh and balanced. The girls dressing as whores reminded me a bit too much of “Raisins”, but since Trey and Matt didn’t merely rehash that episode, and instead added other plots, it was well worth watching.
The first article I ever had published was on how useless Paris Hilton is, and well not much has changed since then. I’ll admit that this episode would have been more relevant had they released it when she first made it big, but since people still adore her, and she’s still useless, it’s not something I mind much.
I also appreciated that the episode didn’t spend much time focusing on the boys (Cartman got about two minutes of screen-time if that), but was able to maintain it’s humor and freshness. The writers of the “Simpsons” could learn a thing or two on basing an episode around secondary characters without missing a beat.
And that ending was such a treat to the fans. You hoped it would happen, you wanted it to happen, and since this isn’t the WWE, Trey and Matt gave the fans eexactly what they would’ve wished for.
